For just a moment on Wednesday night, it seemed as if Seth Meyers was almost — almost — at a loss for words over Donald Trump’s latest attempt to remain relevant, by weighing in on the brutal attack on Paul Pelosi. But the Late Night host quickly regained his footing and laid into the former president’s despicable and desperate attempts to appear in the know about, well, anything.
“Just this week,” Meyers explained, “Trump called into some random, right-wing podcast to repeat some absolutely deranged and completely debunked conspiracy theories about the horrific attack on Nancy Pelosi’s husband, Paul Pelosi.”
Trump called into The Chris Stigall Show (no, we don’t know what that is either) to share what he hoped might sound like some inside intel on the assault on Pelosi. Claiming that there have been some “weird things going on in that house in the last couple of weeks,” the former president went on to falsely state that “the glass, it seems, was broken from the inside to the out… so it wasn’t a break-in, it was a breakout” and that Pelosi perhaps knew the man who gave him a skull fracture (or, based on Trump’s detective work, maybe he gave it to himself). “I’m not a fan of Nancy Pelosi, but what’s going on there is very sad,” Trump said.
Meyers was somewhat beside himself:
No big deal, everybody. Just the former President of the United States saying weird things have been going on in the Pelosi household for the last couple of weeks. Which I guess he knows because, what, he’s the f**king Watcher?
You know, it takes a real sack of sh*t to start gaming out a way you can make an 82-year old attempted murder victim the bad guy. Trump just makes sh*t up and spreads it through vague, mafia-style innuendo like he’s in a deleted scene from The Sopranos.
Taking a cue from Trump, Meyers also shared that there’s some weird things happening in the Trump household. “I hear his head is shrinking,” Meyers whispered, noting that “he hides it when he goes out in public by wearing a giant fake head on top of his real, tiny head. And I’m no fan of Trump, but it’s very sad. It’s very sad what’s happening.” But you didn’t hear it from Meyers.
You can watch the full clip above, beginning around the 3:50 mark.