Seth Meyers was back behind the Late Night desk after an extended Thanksgiving break. And while a lot has happened during that time, including former — and wannabe future — president Donald Trump suggesting we just do away with the Constitution, Meyers seemed even more terrified by another emerging story: MyPillow Man Mike Lindell’s current plan to be named head of the Republican party.
Meyers played a clip of Lindell telling fellow loon Steve Bannon that he is “100 percent in” on challenging current RNC chair Ronna McDaniel — despite the fact that he makes crappy pillows for a living and his only real political experience is spreading election fraud conspiracy theories that have gotten him sued for nearly $2 billion. So, sure, why not put him in charge?
But Lindell is convinced that Republicans are secretly rooting for him. As he told Bannon: “One of the things that one of the big donors said to me, he said, ‘Mike… everybody wants you to be head of the RNC. Some of them just don’t know it yet.’”
“I mean, I’d say he dreamt that conversation,” Meyers said, “but that meant he fell asleep. Which, one, he seems incapable of and, two, is impossible using a MyPillow. The only way Lindell ever got a solid eight hours is if he used a TheirPillow.”
What worries/amuses Meyers most about the very idea of Lindell running the Republican party, is how he would surely use such a position to “obviously focus on his deranged election conspiracy theories,” including his current insistence that the 2022 midterms were rigged against Republicans. He pointed to Arizona, where voters were asked to fill out ballots versus use voting machines in some areas, then mimicked some sort of bizarre motion about “what we do with mail-in ballots” that seemed to resemble what a masturbating gorilla might look like — though Meyers went for “milking a giant cow.” (You can see if for yourself right around the 4:00 mark.)
It turns out that what he was attempting to show was Democrats just pulling random names: “Joe Schmo, Johnny Bananas, Sue Smith,” he attempted to explain — all of which was one step too far for Meyers:
Alright, we’ve had a good time with Mike Lindell over the years, but at some point it stops being funny. So let me say with all seriousness: You leave Johnny Bananas out of this! You think he’s had it easy? Going through life with the name Johnny Bananas? You think that’s a fun trip to the DMV?
As for Sue Smith? “She can go ahead and f**k right off,” says Meyers. “That’s not a real name.”
You can watch the full clip above beginning at the 2:00 mark.