Wanting to end your 2022 with a bang is understandable, but an 88-year-old man in France took that sentiment a bit too literally, and ended up causing a bomb scare at a hospital on Saturday evening.
As the New York Post reports, doctors at Toulon’s Hospital Sainte Musse were briefly stunned when an elderly gent arrived with a World War I artillery shell firmly lodged inside his rectum. The staff’s first concern regarding the explosive, which was approximately 8 inches long and more than 2 inches wide, was the safety of their other patients and staff. Concerned that the projectile might still be active, the hospital had to initiate a bomb scare protocol.
“An emergency occurred from 9 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. on Saturday evening that required the intervention of bomb disposal personnel, the evacuation of adult and pediatric emergencies as well as the diversion of incoming emergencies,” a hospital spokesperson stated.
Due to the age of the item, bomb disposal experts guessed that there was little chance it would actually explode while still up his arse. Which is when doctors went to work in an effort to safely remove the object from the old man’s hiney. Unfortunately, this required an emergency surgery, as doctors needed to cut into the man’s abdomen in order to set it free. And they did. Way to go, docs!
An 88-year-old Frenchman presented at Toulon A&E yesterday with a First World War shell shoved up his arse. Bomb disposal were called to make it safe. The hospital was evacuated. I wish this was a joke. pic.twitter.com/IS2u9kUqBO
— A common lawyer (@acommonlawyer) December 20, 2022
While the gentleman did not disclose how a nearly foot-long piece of antique artillery landed halfway up his a**hole, the assumption was that it was for sexual pleasure. Which, yeah, sounds like he had a ball!
“We are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” one doctor explained, and gave apples, mangoes, and a can of shaving cream as examples of other items that you should NOT insert into your anus. “But a shell?,” he continued. “Never!”
Hospital officials report that the surgery was successful and the patient is expected to make a full recovery. His dignity, on the other hand, might need a little time.
(Via New York Post)