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Madonna Tongued Jack Black, Re-Created An NSFW Photo With Lil Wayne, And More In A Wild New Tour Promo Video

Today, Madonna announced The Celebration Tour, a trek that will see Madonna playing hits from across her four-decade career. Madonna, ever the shock-friendly performer, unveiled the news with a wild new video featuring Jack Black, Lil Wayne, Diplo, Judd Apatow, Eric Andre, Amy Schumer, Bob The Drag Queen, Kate Berlant, Larry Owens, and Meg Stalter.

The five-minute clip features a truth-or-dare game between the celebrities as they sit around a table. Madonna kicks things off by daring Schumer to simulate how she would lick her husband’s butt, which she does by not doing it. Andre then dared Diplo to dip his balls in his margarita and drink it, and he obliged. Diplo then turned the tables back on Madonna, who he instructed to “tongue-kiss” Black, and indeed, she did just that.

There are some more shenanigans from there — including Madonna, Wayne, and Black posing for a racy photo — but the whole thing ends with one final dare, from Schumer to Madonna: to go on a world tour. Of course, given the purpose of the video, Madonna accepted.

In a statement, Madonna said of the upcoming trek, “I am excited to explore as many songs as possible in hopes to give my fans the show they have been waiting for.”

Check out the video above and find the tour dates here.

Madonna is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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A Brief And (Somewhat) Helpful Guide To Michael Bay’s Alleged Italian Pigeon Murder Fiasco

Sometimes a news story comes along that is so layered and multifaceted that it requires an expert to sort through it all and explain it to the people. The 2008 financial crisis was like this, with all of its various stock and investment terminologies that only made sense to people familiar with the world of finance. Same with the various political and election-based controversies of the past few years, where it helps to have an actual Constitutional scholar on hand to separate fact from fiction. This next thing is… okay, actually it’s not like those other things. It’s pretty straightforward if I’m being honest about it. But it does allow me to say and type things like “Michael Bay may or may not be at the center of an international incident involving a dead Italian pigeon,” so I am going to explain it all anyway. This one is really more for me than it is for any of you.

Anyway, here are some of the things we have already in this story, all of which I will be covering below. I think you can see why I am so excited.

  • A dead pigeon on the set of the Netflix movie 6 Underground
  • Famed action film director Michael Bay
  • The Italian courts and possibly the European Union getting involved
  • Claims of defamation and slander
  • An Italian lawyer named Fabrizio Sigma

It’s beautiful. I could not possibly ask for more. But I will get more. You really need to stick around to the end of this. There’s a pretty incredible twist coming. But let’s start at the top…

What is happening here?

Okay, last week The Wrap published an article titled “Michael Bay Fights Charges in Italy Over Killing a Pigeon, Denies Allegations,” which I clicked on so fast I almost knocked over a glass of iced tea. The short version goes like this: Back in 2018, on the set of 6 Underground, a pigeon may or may not have perished as a result of various crew members moving heavy machinery around. The longer version goes like this:

According to an insider with knowledge of the production, a homing pigeon was allegedly killed by a dolly in the middle of a take in Rome. An unnamed individual who happened to be on set apparently witnessed the incident, took a picture and reported it to Italian authorities, the insider added. A second individual with knowledge of the shoot said the scene involved a large group of pigeons and a wind machine.

As the person in charge of the shoot, Bay was charged with failing to supervise the crew members responsible for handling the animals, according to his Italian lawyer, Fabrizio Sigma.

Lots to digest here, starting with the thing where some unnamed person allegedly stumbled across a Michael Bay film set, saw a dead bird, snapped a picture, and then called the police. That is already fascinating to me. I need to know more about this person at once. I need them interviewed on-camera for the 8-part McMillions style docuseries I need someone to make about this. Call Agent Doug. Get him on the case.

Also of note: Michael Bay has an Italian lawyer named Fabrizio Sigma. This is… wonderful. I refuse to Google this man. The image in my head is too perfect to ruin. I picture him in a stunning white suit with a fancy hat. Do not take this from me.

Okay, but how serious can all of this be if it’s just over one pigeon?

Oh ho ho, my friend. Pretty serious! Apparently!

Pigeons are a protected species in Italy. Italy has a national law that makes it illegal to harm, kill or capture any wild bird, including pigeons. Pigeons are also protected in the E.U. under the Birds Directive.

This is why you call in Fabrizio Sigma.

Would you watch a Michael Bay movie titled The Birds Directive?

Buddy, you know I would.

What is Michael Bay saying about all of this?

A lot! Starting with this quote in which he denies killing the pigeon and reveals — in an extremely on-brand and aggressive addition — that Michael Bay is the kind of guy who would rather risk an international incident and public relations crisis than pay a small fine to make something go away.

“I was offered by the Italian authorities a chance to settle this matter by paying a small fine, but I declined to do so because I would not plead guilty to having harmed an animal,” Bay added.

Two things are worth noting here:

  • Michael Bay is a man of principle
  • In a 2011 GQ oral history about working with and/or being Michael Bay, Michael Bay gave the following quote about his directorial prices: “I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.”

That second thing isn’t, like, super relevant here but I just really wanted to remind you about it.

Be honest, you are loving this a little bit right now?

I mean…

Yes.

So… that’s about the end of the story then?

Nope!

Turns out Michael Bay is not only a “loudly fight charges instead of making them go away with a small fine” guy, he’s also a “send off a legal letter demanding a correction or retraction of the pigeon murder story.” Variety obtained a letter his team sent to The Wrap after that story was published and… yeah. Michael Bay is not happy about any of this. He’s very unhappy.

Now, in a legal letter, Bay’s attorney writes that the filmmaker was “never accused, much less ‘charged,’ with ‘killing’ an animal.” Rosengart writes that ahead of publishing the story, TheWrap was made aware of “video evidence rebutting these allegations and demonstrating that at no time was any animal harmed, let alone ‘killed.’”

This is one of those situations where two things appear to be true at once. The first thing is that I have no clue if a pigeon died on the Italian set of the Netflix movie 6 Underground. I was not there and have not seen the evidence in either direction and do not especially want Michael Bay’s legal team to send me a letter about any of it. Let me be very clear about all of that.

The second thing is that I kind of want Ryan Murphy to sink his teeth into an entire season of American Crime Story about this, complete with Bobby Cannavale as Fabrizio Sigma and Nicolas Cage as Michael Bay, like… oh let’s say Justin Long or maybe Aubrey Plaza as a journalist who is sinking his or her teeth into the story.

I am available to play myself in this.

Your story is particularly harmful and malicious because, contrary to its implications, Michael Bay is an animal rights activist; he passionately loves animals, as his track record shows. As a result of your story, however, his name is now associated with “killing” or “murdering” an animal, connoting intent. He is therefore being unfairly maligned and attacked. Indeed, there are now numerous articles and countless social media images associating Mr. Bay with “killing” or “murder,” which have gone around the world.

Uh…

[looks at the headline of this very article]

… whoops?

Sorry!

Is there any way we can work elephants into this somehow?

Surprisingly, yes! Also from the statement Variety got their hands on:

Your story is therefore extremely damaging to Mr. Bay personally and professionally (he has publicly discussed his love of animals and his desire to make a film about saving African elephants, another fact of which you had prior notice but ignored) and has tarnished his reputation as someone who fiercely supports animals, financially and otherwise, causing him extreme anguish.

Okay, I know that this movie they are talking about is probably a documentary or some sort of serious grown-up drama about the plight of the mighty elephant, which is fine, but…

What if it’s a regular Michael Bay action movie?

Like Bad Boys or Ambulance

With explosions and gun fights and car chases and every cliche you’ve ever seen in your standard Michael Bay action movie…

But it’s about saving elephants.

Maybe one of the elephants has a rocket launcher in its trunk.

What if that’s the movie he’s discussing here?

Because we can’t rule that out either.

Think about this one a little or a lot over the next few days or months or for the rest of your life.

Is there some small chance that the pigeon in question faked its own death in an attempt to frame Michael Bay or maybe to escape suspicion on its own ongoing criminal case involving millions of dollars of stolen art and is now living under an assumed name on some tropical island?

I am pleased to report that there is, based on this single sentence from the original report.

But it’s not entirely clear whether a pigeon perished, or not.

What an incredible twist.

Wouldn’t this be a great plot for that movie titled The Birds Directive that we were joking about earlier?

Hmm.

Yes.

Let’s start production immediately. Or at least after the docuseries and Ryan Murphy show and elephant movie.

But hurry.

Please.

For me.

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Mia Goth Calls ‘MaXXXine’ The ‘Best Movie’ In The ‘X’ Trilogy (And The First Two Were Really Good)

It’s not often when the third movie is the best movie in a trilogy. I spent 10 minutes trying to think of an example, and the finest I could come with is The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Or maybe A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. The point is, trilogy cappers are tough, but Mia Goth believes MaXXXine, the third installment of Ti West’s X trilogy after X and Pearl, will be more The Godfather Part II than The Godfather Part III.

“It’s the best script of the three by far. It’s going be the best movie of the three,” the actress told Variety when asked if there’s anything she could tease about the Los Angeles in the 1980s-set film. “We’re all so tight now. This is going to be our third movie we’re working on together and everyone’s coming back together, so it’s bringing the band all back together again… We know how everybody works and we’re all so excited.”

Goth (who deserves an Oscar nomination for her performance in Pearl) called MaXXXine the “biggest story of the three with the highest stakes and Maxine has gone through so much at this point. So when we find her in this new world, she’s just a force to be reckoned with and she goes through some pretty wild adventures.” Wilder than feeding a corpse to an alligator and having sex with a scarecrow? Look out, LA!

MaXXXine does not currently have a release date.

(Via Variety)

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UConn’s Azzi Fudd Is One Of Basketball’s Most Spectacular Scorers

The UConn Huskies are 15-2, sit fifth in the latest AP Top-25 poll, and are just getting going as injury issues have caused head coach Geno Auriemma to get creative with rotations in the first half of the season. The Huskies are without star Paige Bueckers for the season, starting center Dorka Juhasz has only played 10 games, and key reserve Caroline Ducharme has missed time, as well. Star guard Azzi Fudd has been likewise in and out of the lineup with injury, but when she’s been healthy, it’s undeniable that the Huskies have been at their best.

Missed time has quieted Fudd’s case for National Player of the Year (it was screaming at us pre-injury), but her return to the court has brought the same verve and tenacity — Fudd’s early exit from the Huskies’ recent game against Georgetown was deemed to not be serious and was precautionary according to Auriemma.

Putting Fudd’s season into context gives an illuminating image of how incredible of a season she’s having. When filtering her season through Her Hoops Stats’ database for usage (24 percent usage or higher), field goal attempts (10 or more per game), and scoring efficiency (1.3 points per scoring attempt or greater), Fudd is the only player among the eight to hit those benchmarks this season who is not a frontcourt player, shorter than 6’1, and the only high-volume three point shooter in the group.

Fudd’s efficiency as a high-volume lead guard is part of what makes her stand out, but it’s also how she gets her buckets that separates her from other prospects. She’s not the typical spread pick-and-roll high volume guard, quite the opposite. While UConn has high level guards who can operate out of ball screens, they mainly operate out of the high post, as the aforementioned Juhasz and Aaliyah Edwards are versatile bigs who can both step outside and put the ball on the floor. By inverting their spacing to operate outside-in, they open up cutting lanes and opportunities to take advantage with intuitive movement.

UConn will often operate out of a horns set, which is shown above before the action starts. Notice how St. John’s is guarding Fudd, denying any opportunity for her to receive the ball. As a built-in part of UConn’s offense, they take advantage of this, utilizing Fudd to set a back screen for Edwards. Juhasz then goes into an empty corner two player game with Nika Muhl and it’s an easy basket with the back cut out of the slot.

Fudd’s gravity in this play sets the table. Where does that gravity come from? Her blend of shooting, movement, and court vision. Fudd is shooting 43.4 percent from deep on 5.9 attempts from deep. When considering the difficulty and variety of her looks, it’s astounding.

She’s seemingly always on balance as a shooter. Her rhythm and shot preparation is rarely bothered. Fudd’s release looks the exact same every single time, the mark of a great shooter; it’s snappy, it’s quick, and the energy transfer from her lower body through her arms is seamless. She often gets her shot off from reception of the pass to out of her hands in less than a second.

The shot itself matters greatly to what Fudd does, but it’s that timing aspect that sticks out routinely.

Fudd bends the corners of the game and creates windows few players have access to because of her quickness. You’d be remiss to call Fudd fast; she likely wouldn’t light it up in a 40-yard dash against her teammates or opposition. But, in watching her, you can’t help but notice the swiftness and quickness with which she plays.

She processes the court, defenders, and her own gravity at the highest level, a supreme awareness and court-mapping. In an offense that’s predominantly read and react, Fudd thrives by reading the game faster than just about anyone. She creates separation with her decision-making and extremely fluid ability to change directions. She doesn’t necessarily blow defenders away with acceleration or burst, but she gains routine advantages with how her transmission hums. Fudd is constantly moving in multiple planes of motion, and moving with a purpose.

Everything in this play is about reading the court, reading defenders, and changing direction fluidly. This basket and opening is created by Fudd’s fluidity in combination with UConn’s scheme and versatile post-hubs. Her counter to pressure and adjusting coverages; movement, relocation, and moving the ball.

Watch this play and note how UConn works to empty out the weak side (before the ball is there) and isolating a big.

Fudd’s back-and-forth movement keeps the St. John’s defenders on their back foot and a step behind. Enter Edwards, who steps up for a screen right as Fudd receives the ball. Every single defender has their eyes on Fudd as she catches the ball. The big defending Edwards steps up to deter a shot and Fudd automatically is reacting and lofting a well-placed lob to the now rolling Edwards, who is fouled and Fudd deserves an assist for the ensuing free throws.

The threat of Fudd’s shooting and movement creates chaos for defenses, as UConn routinely deploys her as a screener to bring added confusion for help defenders. Her versatility is borne out of her effectiveness and she unlocks a level of offense that few teams in basketball can envision. This kind of efficiency from a shooting guard/wing is just uncommon, and, oh hey, the shot chart is just about the same last season.

As UConn looks to build off of last season’s national championship game appearance and runner-up finish, Azzi Fudd’s health and availability is key. While she is still a few seasons away from pro eligibility, Fudd is one of the brightest young stars in the sport. Basketball is better with Fudd healthy and playing, and hopefully for UConn and basketball fans as a whole, she’ll stay healthy and have a chance to shine on the biggest stage in March.

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All The Best New Indie Music From This Week

Indie music has grown to include so much. It’s not just music that is released on independent labels but speaks to an aesthetic that deviates from the norm and follows its own weirdo heart. It can come in the form of rock music, pop, or folk. In a sense, it says as much about the people that are drawn to it as it does about the people that make it.

Every week, Uproxx is rounding up the best new indie music from the past seven days. This week we got new music from Neutral Milk Hotel, M83, Tennis, Paramore, and more.

While we’re at it, sign up for our newsletter to get the best new indie music delivered directly to your inbox, every Monday.

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Paramore — “C’est Comme Ça”

On, “C’est Comme Ça,” Hayley Williams’ has a radiant, Dry Cleaning-esque wit that aligns with the previous singles: “I’m off caffeine on doctor’s orders / Said it was gonna help to level out my hormones / Lucky for me I run on spite and sweet revenge / It’s my dependence on the friction that really hinders my progression,” she deadpans to infectious guitars.

Neutral Milk Hotel — “Little Birds”

2023 has already done the impossible: It’s given us a new Neutral Milk Hotel song, the first since the 1998 release of the iconic In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. This track is a part of a new career-spanning box set, and it possesses the haunting charm of the band, with Jeff Mangum’s scratchy vocals and eerie lyrics.

US Girls — “Futures Bet”

US Girls are coming back with a new album called Bless This Mess, and “Futures Bet” is a compelling, pulsating preview with hypnotic vocals and a sticky melody: “When nothing is wrong / Everything is fine / This is just life, this is just life,” she sings in the chorus.

M83 — “Oceans Niagara”

“Oceans Niagara” by M83 is a sparkling, immersive return that immediately hooks the listener into its world. It’s atmospheric and colossal, only getting bigger as the song moves forward. It comes from their forthcoming record aptly titled Fantasy, and it’s sure to be an enticing listen-through.

Fenne Lily — “Lights Light Up”

Fenne Lily’s new song “Lights Light Up” is a twangy earworm that’s warm and soothing like a hot bath. Her vocals are clean and delicate against calm chords; it’s a stunning ballad, and it’s a great preview of her forthcoming LP Big Picture, which is definitely going to be an emotional experience.

Tennis — “Let’s Make A Mistake Tonight”

Tennis is prepping to unveil their new album Pollen next month to follow up 2020’s stunning Swimmer. “Let’s Make A Mistake Tonight” is a great dose of their memorable, glittering sound that’s heavily influenced by the ’70s. “I can feel it in my body / Hand on the wheel / Hand on my thigh / Closing our eyes / Let’s make a mistake tonight,” Alaina Moore sings entrancingly.

Pierce The Veil — “Even When I’m Not With You”

Pierce The Veil’s forthcoming record The Jaws Of Life is looking like an alt-rock adventure so far. “Even When I’m Not With You” is the newest single, and it’s a fuzzed-out, sprawling song that moves at a surprisingly slow pace yet it hits as hard as the other tracks.

@ — “Where’d You Put Me”

Yes, their band name is @. And their music is as weird as you’d expect. “Where’d You Put Me” is a hallucinogenic, quirky track that seems to reach for transcendence. It’s only a little over a minute but every second is a miniature adventure.

Xiu Xiu — “Maybae Baeby”

“Maybae Baeby” by Xiu Xiu is an all-encompassing, trippy ride that feels like a movie. “In ‘Maybae Baeby,’ the singer’s viewpoint is of a young person hiding in a fantastical conversation with a tarantula in order to escape a physically abusive parent,” bandleader Jamie Stewart explained. The song has that rough, dissociative texture, putting the listener into the headspace of the character.

Vagabon — “Carpenter”

Vagabon has finally returned with her first music in three years. She’s coming back strong; “Carpenter” is a jittery anthem bursting with energy and life. Reflecting on growth, she sings refreshingly: “I wasn’t ready to hear you out / I wasn’t ready to move on out / I wasn’t ready for what you were saying / But I’m all ready now.”

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Lil Yachty Shared The Release Date And Creepy Cover Art For ‘Let’s Start Here,’ His Much-Anticipated New Album

At long last, Lil Yachty has finally shared the release date for his long-anticipated fifth studio album. Today, the “Poland” rapper revealed that his new album, called Let’s Start Here will release later this month.

Yachty announced the news today via posts on his social media accounts.

“Thank You for the patience,” he said in an Instagram caption with the album’s artwork. The seemingly AI-generated artwork features several people in a Congress-like setting, with their faces distorted.

He shared a similar post on Twitter, but shortly after, shared a follow-up post, saying, “I have so many things to say.”

Last month, a project of Yachty’s called Sonic Ranch leaked to the internet in full. He didn’t directly address the leak, however, he had taken to Twitter shortly after to express his sadness by way of a frowning emoji.

Earlier this month, he announced via since-deleted Instagram and Twitter posts that he was holding tryouts for an all-women band, though it was unclear whether this was for an upcoming album, or for a tour.

This time last year, Yachty spoke to Icebox and revealed he wants to take a new approach to his creative process.

“I’ve changed my dynamic,” he said. “I’m telling you, this album and on, I’m creating music a whole lot differently.”

Let’s Start Here is out 1/27 via Quality Control/Motown.

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How To Actually, Truly Buy Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon… For Real

Pappy Van Winkle bourbon whiskey is the most-sought after American whiskey there is. The wheated bourbon was a crucial brand in starting the current bourbon (and wider whiskey) boom of the 21st century. About 14 years ago, Old Van Winkle put out a 23-year-old special decanter of Pappy for $400. It was a shot over the bow of collectible booze that ushered in the arrival of American whiskey as a major player (compared to Scotch whisky, Japanese whisky, and wine collectibles).

Within a year, that bottle was selling for thousands. Today, it’s selling for tens of thousands. The die, as they say, has been cast.

While the average bottle of Old Van Winkle bourbon (or rye) is fleeting in 2023, it’s not impossible to find, buy, and drink. The core lineup of Old Van Winkle’s expressions — that’s both the younger “Van Winkle” expressions and the older “Pappy Van Winkle” ones — are released yearly every fall by the Sazerac Company via their Buffalo Trace facility in Kentucky (where the whiskey is made).

Thousands of bottles are sent around the country and world to retailers, bars, and restaurants that have earned their allocation (a term that means all the bottles go to specific businesses/people and that’s it). And then don’t get distributed again until the next year’s release of bottles. So how do you actually buy a bottle of Pappy? Well… it’s complicated. But it’s not impossible by any stretch. It simply depends on your access to cash, a little luck, and some perseverance.

Below, I’m going to lay out all the legal ways you can get a bottle of Pappy, which — I’d argue — is at least worth trying and does live up to the hype. Hopefully, this guide will be a treasure map that’ll lead you to a pour of the good stuff. Let’s dive in!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

Method 1 — Retail

Liquor Store

Most privately-owned liquor stores are going to either keep their bottles for loyal customers or distribute them via a lottery. For the former, they’ll quietly contact those loyal members and have them quietly pick up their bottles when they come in. That’s why you almost never see a bottle of Pappy on any liquor store shelf ever — they never make it there.

Sometimes, loyal customers will be notified that bottles are going up for sale on a first come first serve basis online via their website only. This is simply a matter of having a loyalty card and fast hands to hit that refresh button and enter payment details in a flash. This saves droves of taters camping outside overnight at the shop but is only one facet of the large patchwork of ways Pappy is sold. In essence, this is the same as above only with a slightly smoother buying process on your phone instead of in person.

Some liquor stores try to make a little cash by offering a pay-to-play program like Party Time Liquor (in the Instagram post above). It’s a kind of instant-loyalty program wherein if you spend x-amount of money in the store, they’ll give you the option to get an allocated bottle at suggested retail (not marked up), which might include a bottle of Pappy as linked to in that IG post above.

Then there’s the lottery system. This stretches beyond privately-owned retail into state-run retail as well. So let’s just get into that in the next section.

Before we get into that, a quick pro tip. Liquor store tasting rooms are often spots where you can taste Pappy expressions. The price for pours will vary, but 100% exist. Follow your local shop on IG, Twitter, etc. to see when they have tastings.

State-Run Liquor Store

Pappy Lottery
ABC Virginia

When it comes to getting a bottle of Pappy at suggested retail (MSRP), a state-run liquor store is your best bet. Though, the keyword here is “lottery.” Look at that image above. Last year there were over 58,000 entries for 4 — four! — bottles of Pappy 23 at ABC Virginia state-run stores. Those are some long odds.

That said, that’s for the right to buy a bottle at the suggested retail price. So if you do win a bottle, you have an instant windfall (if you’re looking at this from a whiskey investment angle). Or, you know, just a really good bourbon to show off to your friends and drink.

One ripple here. You might have to have either a local driver’s license or a local address to enter the state-run lotteries.

Pappy Bottles
Ohio Liquor

When it comes to when state-run lotteries happen for allocated Pappy bottles, you simply have to do your homework. Each state-run liquor store releases lottery announcements well in advance. So again, follow socials, subscribe to newsletters from the shops, and set those Google alerts.

You can also look at the current inventory from every state-run liquor store by following the links below. It’ll tell you where bottles might be waiting.

Online Retail Store

Reserve Bar
Reserve Bar

Online retail is an option for suggested retail. But it’s honestly more for aftermarket retail. The likelihood of getting a bottle online is 100% dependent on either knowing when the store is releasing their allocation — so being a member or following closely online — or a complete shot in the dark.

This again boils down to you doing your homework and signing up for alerts. But really, online retail is mostly going to be filled with aftermarket bottles and prices. This leads us to…

Method 2 — The After Market

Frootbat Pappy
Frootbat

Vintage Bottle Shops

Vintage bottle shops — like Justins’ House of Bourbon in Lexington and Louisville, Kentucky — are a sure-fire and legal way to buy new and vintage bottles of Pappy. As mentioned in the intro, Pappy is released every year. That means certain years have more value than others. Maybe you’re looking for a bottle of Pappy from the year you graduated or were married or your kid was born — vintage bottle shops are your best bet. But you’re going to pay … a lot. Those types of shops have to legally purchase bottles on the aftermarket and then in the immortal words of Rick from Pawn Stars, “they have to make a profit too.”

One great thing about vintage shops like Justins’, though, is that they also have a bar where you can actually try the stuff. Pours aren’t cheap — expect to pay around $200 for Pappy 20 or 23 depending on the vintage — but you can get a taste.

Auctions

Auctions are happening all the time for American whiskey. There’s usually some Pappy involved. This simply comes down to you following whiskey people online, Googling “Pappy whiskey auction,” and having an ear to the industry in general. People who work at vintage whiskey shops, high-end whiskey bars, liquor stores, local whiskey clubs, and so forth will know when and where auctions are happening. Hell, they may well be hosting the auction.

This also means keeping an eye on auction sites like Whisky Auctioneer, Sotheby’s, and many, many others.

Trade

This isn’t illegal but it can be sketchy. But no one is stopping you from trading bottles. Naturally, this means that a) you have bottles worth trading for Pappy and b) you have a network of people to trade with.

One major aspect here is knowing the value of whiskey bottles already. So — I sound like a broken record, I know — do your homework. Of course, building a whiskey network you trust takes time. People do this by standing in lines overnight while waiting for releases at liquor stores and talking to folks, following IG whiskey accounts and not being a piece of shit, hanging around Reddit whiskey groups, and going out and meeting people at whiskey events (either at bars, clubs, or stores).

International Retail

Pappy Bottle
Whiskyshop Seligenstadt

While some bottles do make it overseas, the bulk of them are for high-end retailers, luxury hotels, and Michelin-level restaurants in major metropolitan areas. Luxe department stores with food and drink sections — places like KaDeWe in Berlin (which has a great whisky section in general) — will get a handful of bottles but will likely be heavily marked up price-wise.

The point is, you’re not going to bump into a bottle at duty-free in Heathrow or Schipol. But you might be able to get a pour in a 3 Michelin star establishment in London or Amsterdam.

If you are traveling abroad in a major market city, it’s always worth dropping in a bottle shop. You might find a gem just sitting there collecting dust.

Method 3 — Whiskey Bars

This is your absolute best bet to actually drink some Pappy. Any self-respecting whiskey bar will have a bottle or two on the list. This is going to cost you — figure on paying around $200 for a pour of 15 or 20-year Pappy. Still, you will be able to buy a pour and enjoy it, finally.

Some whiskey bars do have small retail sections. Neat in Louisville famously has a vintage bottle shop in a cocktail bar. Jack Rose Dining Saloon in D.C. sells amazing barrel picks and sometimes a vintage bottle or two. As mentioned above, Justins’ House of Bourbon is both a bottle shop and bar. The list goes on and on.

The best advice we can give is to get to know your local whiskey bar. At the very least, you’ll be able to try the stuff and check that experience off your bucket list.

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Wilco Is Going All Out For The ‘Cruel Country’ Physical Release By Dropping New Tour Dates And More

Wilco, ahead of the physical release of their twelfth album, 2022’s Cruel Country, has unveiled a new set of global tour dates. The shows are kicking off with three-nights each in Chicago, New York, and Iceland, as they also note that no songs will repeat on the setlists.

The band also has had a few other surprises in store. Wilco dropped live videos of their performances of “A Story To Tell,” “I Am My Mother,” “Cruel Country” and “Falling Apart (Right Now)” from their pop-up show at Chicago’s Carol’s Pub last fall.

In addition, they are also bringing back their Wilcoworld Radio show for its third installment. From now to January 24th, fans can tune in for “12+ hours of unique programming, including a DJ hour from each band member, rare and unheard recordings of recent live shows, a Cruel Country deep dive with Jeff Tweedy, an audio mezcal tasting, Wilco cover sets curated by WXRTʼs Marty Lennertz and Lara Mondae,” according to a statement.

Tickets for Wilco’s next tour go on sale this Friday, January 20 at 10 a.m. local time. Continue scrolling for a complete list of dates.

03/23 — Chicago, IL @ The Riviera Theatre *
03/25 — Chicago, IL @ The Riviera Theatre *
03/26 — Chicago, IL @ The Riviera Theatre*
03/30 — Port Chester, NY @ The Capitol Theatre *
03/31 — Port Chester, NY @ The Capitol Theatre *
04/01 — Port Chester, NY @ The Capitol Theatre *
04/06 — Reykjavík, IS @ Eldborg Hall located at the Harpa Center
04/07 — Reykjavík, IS @ Eldborg Hall located at the Harpa Center
04/08 — Reykjavík, IS @ Eldborg Hall located at the Harpa Center
04/16 — Charleston, SC @ High Water Festival
04/18 — Orlando, FL @ Hard Rock %
04/19 — St. Augustine, FL @ St Augustine Amphitheater %
04/20 — Clearwater, FL @ Ruth Eckerd Hall %
04/22 — Birmingham, AL @ Avondale Brewing %
04/23 — Athens, GA @ Classic Center %
04/24 — Huntsville, AL @ Mark C. Smith Concert Hall %
04/25 — Nashville, TN @ The Ryman %
04/27 — Knoxville, TN @ Tennessee Theatre %
04/28 — Asheville, NC @ Thomas Wolfe %
04/29 — Greensboro, NC @ White Oak Amphitheater %
04/30 — Athens, OH @ Ohio University Templeton Blackburn Alumni Memorial Auditorium
08/19 — Taboão, PT @ Festival Paredes De Coura
09/03 — Birmingham, UK @ Moseley Folk Festival

* with Horsegirl
% with The Aʼs

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The Unexpected Financial Realities Of Being A Musician, According To A Leading Business Manager

In her nearly two decades of working in the entertainment industry, business manager Kristin Lee has seen it evolve in several ways. From stacks of vinyl to quick streams on singles, from iconic MTV moments to viral YouTube and TikTok clips, Lee has been there through it all.

As one of the industry’s top business managers, Lee has been noted as one to watch by The Hollywood Reporter and named one of Billboard‘s Top Business Managers of 2022. Lee has also witnessed the consequences of artists not planning well financially, but fortunately, she’s helped people get back on track. She has also shattered glass ceilings in the industry’s boys’ clubs, and prioritized creating opportunities in the business.

With her management firm, Kristin Lee Business Management, Lee is committed to helping entertainers make wise financial decisions and manifest fruitful endeavors. She and her women-dominated team also strive to make sure artists don’t get trapped in bad partnerships.

We caught up with Lee on a January morning, and she has a good feeling about the year ahead. Having experienced the industry across several eras, she answers all the questions you may have had regarding an artist’s complex finances.

What does the day-to-day for you at KLBM entail?

We handle anything relative to the day-to-day finances of our clients. So it could be touring artists, producers, songwriters, we do some film and TV as well. But largely, handling anything that might touch their business or personal life. So accounts payable and receivable, things with insurance, we also handle tax work. And on the personal side, there might be some leeway into some investments and working on strategies around that. If you can think of something that touches their money, we’ll probably have a handle on it.

You’ve been working in the industry for almost 20 years, and you’ve seen it through many changes, vinyl, CD, streaming, etc. With all these new avenues for artists, would you say it’s easier for an artist to slip up? (Perhaps putting money toward one avenue, when they should be putting money toward another?)

I think what artists need to do is work with their team – a business manager would be great in this situation – and look at the strength of various income streams that they have. So what are their fans leaning into? What are their fans consuming? Are they really heavy YouTube users? Or are they Spotify streamers? Or do they really enjoy vinyl and collecting tangible music products? It’s about figuring out what you’re really going to excel at, and giving your fans what they want the most.

Where do artists make most of their money these days?

I will say since the pandemic, I think a lot more artists have gravitated towards brand deals and partnerships, because it’s something that they can still be creative with and tap into, even though they weren’t able to get out on the road. But depending on the artist, if you’ve got somebody who’s racking out platinum records, then their record royalties in their publishing are going to be major income streams for them. Sync licensing has also been a big one. We’ve got artists that might not be the most famous artists in the land, but they do really well with sync licensing. They might have a bunch of stuff in TV and commercials and things, and there could be some really good paydays for those as well.

I think a good example of artists making money off of sync licensing came last summer, when Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” made a resurgence after it was featured on Stranger Things.

Yeah, exactly. And it’s not only the fee you get for the sync license, but if it triggers something like what happened with Kate Bush and Stranger Things, I mean, she probably made more money in her publishing and record royalties on that track than she’s maybe ever made.

What are some expenses that artists have to account for that non-industry people don’t often consider?

I think insurance is always a big one. And all of our clients carry pretty comprehensive insurance. The bigger the artist, the bigger the tour, and the more things that you’ve got to cover. We can’t light pyrotechnics off a stage without that being heavily insured. No venue will let us do that unless we’ve got enough coverage to make sure everything would be well taken care of if something were to go wrong. Things happen on the road, and so we work really hard to make sure that the artist and the fans also are protected in the event of some kind of emergency. And also a lot of these businesses, artists, writers, they’ve got payroll, and they’re set up very similarly to any other business, it’s just that the service they provide is obviously different and more niche. There’s this unique perspective of having this little corporation that bops around state-to-state or over to different countries. And that creates tax effects in all those different territories that they traveled to as well. So that’s a big part of what we do. You don’t think about those little tiny details when you just see them from the outside.

What do you think is the biggest mistake artists make when they start blowing up?

Everybody says the artist gets their big advance, and they just start blowing money, left and right. It’s a lot easier to scale your lifestyle up than it is to scale down. So that’s an easy one. But I think one that’s more important to talk about is just the mentality of it, and not losing the humility and where you came from, and not getting caught up with the wrong ideas about what it all means. A lot of artists really start their careers to create and they have this vision, and they have a message that they want to share. And it’s easy to lose sight when you start to grow, and you get more and more people in your ear, and there are people dangling more money in your face for this and that. I think we need to really make sure that people aren’t losing sight of the why – why they started to begin with – and it makes sure that they’re staying on track with who they want to be and the message that they’re trying to send.

What is a 360 deal, and why should artists try to avoid them?

My biggest issue generally with a 360 deal is the label taking cuts of touring income. Touring is already really expensive for a lot of artists. If you go to a big show, you see the production, the lights, the video walls – those are really expensive to build. They’re really expensive to operate and they’re really expensive to carry around city-to-city every single day and it requires massive amounts of personnel and trucks, and all these things.

So with a 360 deal, when a label wants to take a cut of your touring – if you’ve got a label that’s coming in and taking another 10% off the top plus management taking their cut, business management taking their cut, the agents are taking their cut, artists are left with nothing, plus taxes, so that’s a big issue. But also [a 360 deal] prohibits you from having options. There are a lot of other companies that might have merch deals that are better suited for certain artists, depending on what they can offer for the cuts that they would take. But I think touring is really the kicker on that one. Whittling down what somebody can make on the road? It’s already tough enough as it is.

What advice do you give to artists when they sign their deals?

Always talk to everyone on your team and have everybody review agreements, have conversations about what certain things mean. I always look at things from a financial aspect when I’m reviewing these for my clients. What do the advances mean? What kind of budgets are you getting for each record? Are those recoupable? What does the label cover? And then, really making sure that when I have an idea of what I’m expecting, out of a contract from those standpoints, that the lawyer is able to manipulate my words properly, so that it reads in “legalese,” so that our clients are protected. It’s a collaboration of efforts to make sure that what you want and what you expect are actually what’s written down and what ends up getting signed.

I saw a video Cardi B posted recently. She had tweeted talking about the price of lettuce and how it’s increased, and people commented saying ‘Aren’t you worth $40 million?’ She responded saying, ‘When you become successful, when you have money, you’re going to go broke, because you’re not budgeting.’ Have you seen this happen to artists before?

I’ve seen it happen. I sometimes end up getting clients that didn’t budget well, and I end up having to come in and help them fix their financial lives and get them back on track. But it happens all the time. It happens a lot with really young artists trying to keep up with the Joneses. There’s also not a lot of education and financial literacy, and when you’re young, you feel invincible, like you’ll keep making this money forever and ever, and that’s just not the case. As an artist, you have no idea what your career trajectory might be. Inflation is something that people are probably not budgeting for. You’re seeing the prices of things go up, but are you really factoring that into your day-to-day budget and your cash flow management?

On that same note, what is the difference between an artist’s net worth and the amount of money an artist has at any given time?

They play together at any given time, but your net worth is going to be all of the assets that you have, against the liabilities that you have. You can have a bunch of cash in the bank, but you can also be in debt under mortgages and car loans and everything, so your net worth can be nothing. It’s more common than you think, where people are over-leveraged, and so their net worth is kind of squandered. You might have a $5 million house, and a bunch of cars, but if you owe a bunch of money on them at the same time, and you’re paying those monthly, then there’s a balance. Obviously, credit’s required – a lot of people can’t just go pay cash for a car or a house – so you do need to use those things wisely. Just because you can afford a million-dollar house doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the one you should get.

What are some things that an artist must invest in?

I believe that artists must invest in themselves, and the people around them. I do believe you get what you pay for, and not in the sense that you should be egregious and overspend and validate some kind of ridiculous expenditures to make yourself look bigger or flashier, but more in the sense of making sure that you’re taking good care of yourself, and that you’re doing things that better you as an artist for your career. I feel very strongly that when it comes to your manager, your agent, your business manager, your lawyer, or your publicity teams, you really do get what you pay for. And when you’ve got a team that feels taken care of, they’re also going to give that right back and invest deeply in you.

What is the most important thing you’ve learned during your years in the business?

Be nice. Don’t be a d*ck. I know for a fact that a lot of the people that I work with feel the same way. We really gravitate toward people who operate in a kind and respectful space. Artists as well. Tensions definitely run high in this business sometimes, and I can recognize the difference between someone having a hard time as opposed to someone just being a jerk.

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Greta Thunberg Refused To Leave A Protest Site And Was Physically Carried Away By German Police

After a brief stint publicly beclowning misogynistic moron Andrew Tate, climate activist Greta Thunberg is already back to work protecting the environment. While protesting in Germany on Tuesday, the 20-year-old Swedish activist had to be physically carried away by the police as she joined others in an attempt to prevent the expansion of a coal mine that would destroy a nearby village.

According to police, Thunberg and others had to be removed for their own safety. Via CNN:

After the group advanced on the coal pit, police were concerned that the “masses of protesters” could set the ground in motion after it had been softened by rainfall during the last few days. Officers intervened, removing people from the “danger area” and detaining them, one of whom was Thunberg, according to police.

“We knew who she was, but she did not get VIP treatment,” Hüls said. “She did not resist,” he added.

However, police noted that this now Thunberg’s second arrest at the site, but clearly, she’s not letting that stop her. She has been tweeting aggressively about the protests and encouraging others to attend.

Thunberg’s activism arrives after she saw a significant boost in her public profile for owning Tate on Twitter. The aggressive right-wing figure attempted to impress Thunberg with his large car collection, and she responded with a solid burn on his “small d*ck energy.” Not even a day later, Tate was arrested by Romanian authorities on alleged sex trafficking charges and Thunberg was hailed as a hero for bringing him down.

Granted, their exchange ended up being a coincidence, but Thunberg had a little fun with the online myth that the pizza box in Tate’s video reply to her led to his arrest.

(Via CNN)