Russell Westbrook’s time with the Lakers has come to an end, but he may not be done playing basketball in Los Angeles just yet.
After a year and a half of a disastrous marriage, the Lakers finally found a trade to end the Westbrook experiment, sending him to Utah along with their 2027 first round pick in a three-team deal that will net them D’Angelo Russell from Minnesota. It is a blockbuster trade in that it sends eight players to new teams, including some very big names like Westbrook, Russell, and Mike Conley, but it would still take quite the turnaround from either the Lakers or Wolves for this trade to play a significant role in who wins the Western Conference.
Still, it’s a solid roster upgrade for L.A., who get two good shooters in Russell and Malik Beasley, as well as a strong rebounder and defender in Jarred Vanderbilt, while not giving up much in the way of current production. Westbrook played a big role as the Lakers’ Sixth Man, but after a solid start in that role, he simply has not been able to consistently produce offensively at anything approaching decent efficiency.
That said, he still will apparently be in demand at a minimum price should the Jazz buy out his contract as expected, with Chris Haynes reporting immediately after the trade was completed that the Clippers were interested in keeping Westbrook in L.A.
Should Russell Westbrook secure a buyout from the Utah Jazz after the three-team trade is complete, the Los Angeles Clippers are said to have interest in the star guard, league sources tell @NBAonTNT, @BleacherReport.
The Clippers’ desire to upgrade their point guard rotation is well known, as Reggie Jackson and John Wall just haven’t been the answer, but it’s hard to imagine Westbrook providing what they’re in need of. Westbrook would provide a defensive upgrade, as he is still a solid defender (with the all-important caveat of that only being when he’s locked in), but offensively it’s hard to see this being a particularly good idea. He collapses spacing and is simply not an off-ball threat, which is a problem when so much offense runs through Kawhi Leonard and Paul George, and his finishing this season has been pretty dreadful even at and around the rim.
Westbrook does have an excellent relationship with George, which helps, and he did accept the Sixth Man role, albeit a bit begrudgingly, with the Lakers. Kawhi sits enough that having Westbrook as another ball-handler makes some sense, but it’s hard to see this being an addition that’s a huge postseason boost, which should be the Clippers focus, particularly given their strong bounceback of late. It would make for some excellent drama, if nothing else, and it would make their final crosstown showdown on April 5 even spicier than usual.
UPDATE: The Clippers won’t be alone in the pursuit of Russ on the buyout market, as the Bulls are likewise expected to make a push.
The Chicago Bulls are interested in signing Russell Westbrook should he secure a buyout with the Utah Jazz, league sources tell @NBAonTNT, @BleacherReport.
In other words, the Beyhive is busy. But how do you pronounce the name of Beyoncé’s zealous fan base?
The overwhelming response across Reddit is that “Beyhive” is pronounced like “Bee Hive” with Beyoncé as the Queen Bey (pronounced Queen Bee). Google also has you covered, and if you still aren’t totally convinced, Bomani Jones used it in a sentence on his HBO series Game Theory earlier this week.
“I got on one side the Beyhive, the other side — what, they call themselves The Navy, and you want me to pick one?” Jones said. “And the answer is Rihanna cannot outdo Beyoncé for one reason. Stop the clapping! You’re going to get me in trouble. Beyoncé’s from Houston.”
Benee celebrated her birthday in late January with an effusive Instagram post. “I love everyone in my life so much thank you for being here,” she wrote. “LETS ALL GROW CUTE AND OLD TOGETHER X.” That sentiment does not extend to whoever inspired her new single, “Green Honda.”
The punchy, unflinching track arrived today, February 8, alongside a freewheeling video directed by Eliot Charof and AA. It finds the “I’m So Happy” singer literally cruising down memory lane. The opening line immediately sets the tone: “That was a waste of f*cking time.”
Benee takes her dogs out on the town and reflects on how “great” she’s been since ditching her ex (otherwise referred to as “my biggest mistake”). She stares through broken glass and declares, “Save your last breath, hold it in / I’d rather not have to listen.”
And then, Benee collects her friends and speeds off in her green Honda with plans to “pull up” and “tell you that I don’t want ya.” Most people struggle to let the past be the past, but Benee is more than ready to move on. Nobody is safe from her truth bombs left in her wake: “All your friends are f*cking fake / They’re all too boring and too straight / I cringe at everything they say / And you’re just like them, boy, don’t play.”
As relayed by Stereogum, Benee said, “There is a personal history to the ‘Green Honda’ story. … My green Honda was my first car, passed on to me by my grandmother when she gave up driving. I call him ‘Steve,’ and he’s on the cover of myStella & Steve EP. We’ve had lots of adventures together.”
The Russell Westbrook era with the Los Angeles Lakers is on the verge of coming to an end, and it will lead to them being reunited with a former top draft pick. Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN reported on Wednesday that the Lakers were in talks with the Minnesota Timberwolves on a trade that would land them D’Angelo Russell, who the team selected second overall in the 2015 NBA Draft.
Shortly after, Shams Charania and Tony Jones of The Athletic dropped a bombshell: Talks are ongoing on a deal that will send Russell back to Los Angeles, but Westbrook will not be sent to Minnesota in a straight swap. Instead, Charania reports that Westbrook and draft compensation will head to the Utah Jazz, which will get in on the deal by sending Mike Conley to the Timberwolves. This reporting was confirmed by Wojnarowski.
The Lakers, Jazz and Timberwolves are in discussions on a three-team deal that would send D’Angelo Russell to the Lakers, Russell Westbrook and draft compensation such as a first-round pick to Utah and Mike Conley Jr. to Minnesota, sources tell me and @Tjonesonthenba.
Three-way talks with Lakers, Jazz and Timberwolves would potentially land D’Angelo Russell and Malik Beasley with LA, Mike Conley, Jr., and picks with Timberwolves and Russell Westbrook and picks with Jazz, per sources. Jazz remain engaged elsewhere on Conley Jr., too.
Both Charnia and Jake Fischer of Yahoo reported that both Jarred Vanderbilt and Malik Beasley – two Jazz players in high demand on the trade market — would also be in the deal, with Charania mentioning that they would end up going to the Lakers.
LAL, UTA, MIN have indeed been discussing a three-team trade that would send D’Angelo Russell to Los Angeles, Mike Conley Jr. to Minnesota and Russell Westbrook to Utah. Malik Beasley and Jarred Vanderbilt have also been included in the versions of the framework, sources said. https://t.co/uHXQYciEWY
Ongoing discussions have included Utah’s Malik Beasley and Jarred Vanderbilt as part of the potential three-team deal to the Lakers, sources said. Sides are working through pick protections and additional draft compensation too, per sources. https://t.co/DoI0EBOBVq
The Lakers had Russell on the roster for the first two years of his career before they sent him to the Brooklyn Nets in a trade in 2017. Russell is averaging 17.9 points and 6.2 assists per game this season on 46.5/39.1/85.6 shooting splits. Conley will go to Minnesota where they swap out a scorer for a steadying veteran hand at point guard with experience playing with Rudy Gobert, as he’s averaging 10.7 points and 7.7 assists per game. Westbrook, meanwhile is expected to be bought out by Utah, per Chris Haynes.
In three-team deal being discussed between Lakers, Wolves and Jazz, a buyout for Russell Westbrook in Utah would be the likely path, league sources tell @NBAonTNT, @BleacherReport.
It’s quite the shakeup for the Lakers, whose high profile loss on Tuesday night in LeBron’s coronation as the league’s all-time leading scorer (days after seeing Kyrie Irving get traded to Dallas) seems to have provided the impetus to finally make a big move. Russell will bring them more scoring pop in the backcourt, while Vanderbilt is a quality rebounder and defender and Beasley gives them a spot-up shooter off the bench. The Jazz continue to stack first round picks, while the Timberwolves get something in return for Russell, who could’ve walked as a free agent, and will hope a steadying, veteran presence will help them in the stretch run.
The final, official details — after the Wolves tried shopping D’Angelo Russell to other teams — sees the Wolves get some second round picks along with Conley and Nickeil Alexander-Walker, with Russell, Vanderbilt, and Beasley going to L.A., and Westbrook, Damian Jones, Juan Toscano-Anderson, and the Lakers’ 2027 first round pick (protected 1-4) going to Utah.
ESPN Sources: The Lakers are finalizing deal to land Minnesota’s D’Angelo Russell, Malik Beasley and Jarred Vanderbilt in trade including Mike Conley and picks to Timberwolves and Russell Westbrook and a lightly protected 2027 LA first-round pick to Jazz.
Lakers, Jazz and Timberwolves are finalizing trade sending D’Angelo Russell, Malik Beasley and Jarred Vanderbilt to Los Angeles, Russell Westbrook and first-round pick to Utah and Mike Conley Jr. and second-round pick compensation to Minnesota, sources tell @TheAthletic@Stadium.
On Wednesday, Disney top brass made public their last quarterly earnings as well as what they were doing as a result of it. The good news: The final three months of 2022 were actually up 8% from the previous stretch. Hoorah! The bad news: That was mostly thanks to their amusement parks and “experiences,” which shot up after a low stretch probably due to…well, you know. In fact, they lost millions of Disney+ subscribers, albeit all of them overseas. Still, that was enough to drag down what could have been even larger revenue. Perhaps that’s why the company announced more good news: sequels to three of their biggest behemoths.
As per Deadline, Toy Story, Frozen, and Zootopia are all suddenly getting new sequels. For the former, it will be the fifth, which means they’ll probably have to find a way for Woody, who effectively went freelance at the end of number four, to regroup with the old gang (who almost all died in outing three). For Frozen it will be a threequel, while Zootopia had so far only netted a Disney+ series involving spin-offs.
When Disney finally gets these three sequels off the ground, they’ll have to do it with less staff at the overall company: In order to save some $5.5 billion, they’re cutting 7,000 jobs.
This may be why Disney seems to be adding new installments in three of their biggest cash cow franchises — or as newly returned CEO Bob Iger has talked about “leaning into our unrivaled brands and franchises.” The four Toy Story films have amassed over $3 billion. Frozen has made nearly that in only two films. Zootopia was the fourth highest-grossing film of 2016. Seems like a safe bet — a way for one of the biggest mega-corporations in the world to see more than just a pretty good uptick in quarterly revenue.
If success in TV hinges on having two super attractive people being super attractive at each other, Liaison did not deviate a single inch from the formula. The new Apple TV+ series features Vincent Cassel and Eva Green as two “agents” (of some bureau!) as well as former lovers (naturally) who have to do a See Something, Say Something on their own baggage while trying to thwart some catastrophic cyber hackery.
It features an international cast, although the bulk of the bad stuff appears to happen to London and the surrounding environs. Obviously it’s got the slick thriller gloss, so each episode will most likely feature some jaw drops and a big cliffhanger. Plus, Cassel and Green are both masters, so watching them play off each other is going to be diabolically fun. No doubt you also heard Peter Mullan’s trademark gravel voice in the trailer, but the character I feel for the most is Daniel Francis’s fiancé guy who is treading some serious Niko-in-Killing-Eve territory. Oh, you’re serious and gonna get married? Then why are you making goo goo eyes at Vincent Cassel? Checkmate.
The series is from Virginie Brac, who made the super fun Cheyenne and Lola, and it hits Apple TV+ February 24th unless someone hacks the entire grid and stops it.
Indigo De Souza’s 2021 album Any Shape You Take was a gorgeous, cathartic masterpiece through and through, not hesitating to dive headfirst into vulnerability or show frustration with a piercing scream. The Asheville, NC-based performer is back today with the announcement of the follow-up record, All Of This Will End, which comes with the sprawling single “Younger & Dumber.”
The song is as thoughtful and stunning as her material usually is; she proves her maturity more than ever, reflecting on her younger self. In a statement, she called it “a love letter to everyone’s inner child.” Read what she said below.
“‘Younger and Dumber’ is a flood beam of my emotional and spiritual human experience. My growing up defeated by a world brutally littered with trash, violence and grief, and somehow finding beauty, purpose, and boundless love existing in the same place. This song felt really emotionally intense for me when I wrote it. I was sitting in my house and it kind of flowed right to me as if it had already been written by some other force. A lot of the lyrics are a nod to the idea that your experiences make you who you are. I endured some heavy darkness and dysfunction when I was a teenager. But if I hadn’t been through those things, I wouldn’t be who I am now. When you’re young, you don’t know any better, but you learn from your experiences, and then you become somebody who’s been alive and learning. It’s also about how heartbreaking that is; to start as a child with vivid curiosity, innocent imagination and joy, and for the world to end up being kind of brutal to be a part of. This song is a love letter to everyone’s inner child. No one can prepare us for how insane it is to be alive. How many times we will have to rise from the ashes and what courage it will take.”
Listen to “Younger & Dumber” above, and check out the album artwork and tracklist below.
Kimberly Oberhammer
1. “Time Back”
2. “You Can Be Mean”
3. “Losing”
4. “Wasting Your Time”
5. “Parking Lot”
6. “All Of This Will End”
7. “Smog”
8. “The Water”
9. “Always”
10. “Not My Body”
11. “Younger & Dumber”
All Of This Will End is out 4/28 via Saddle Creek. Pre-order it here.
Drinking great tequila doesn’t always have to cost you a small fortune. While the pricier bottles tend to offer a smoother and more luxurious mouthfeel, there are plenty of bottles out there that won’t break the bank but still provide that sumptuous drinking experience. Sure, the cheaper bottom-of-the-shelf bottles aren’t going to get you there but plenty of bottles hover just under $50 and will provide a lot of bang for your buck.
So where are these bottles? We’re here to point you in the right direction by rounding up our 10 favorite tequila bottles under $50 and ranking them from good to great. Unlike our past tequila lists, we chose not to break this list up by expression, so you’ll find both blanco and reposado tequilas in our ranks — which are both perfect for shooting or mixing up in a cocktail.
We’d like to note that this is a best-of list (which made it even harder to rank), which means no matter where you land on this ranking, you’re going to get a quality bottle. So feel free to go by whatever is on sale. That said, if you want the best of the best, you’re going to want to hit the end of this list.
Patron is the brand that everyone who doesn’t know much about tequila cites as the best brand on the market. There is a reason for that, and while hardcore tequila-heads know better, to say Patron isn’t good is a sign that you’re full of sh*t. No, it’s not the best tequila out there, it has a whiff of mass production, it’s not as clear as direct of some of the other brands, but for the money, this is a damn fine tequila.
Made from 100% Blue Agave, Patron is light, bright, and smooth, and sometimes that’s all you want out of tequila. But of course, there are much better brands, we ranked them for a reason.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Almost sickly sweet with a strong chemical quality. This sounds bad, and it is, but the palate and finish make up for it.
Palate: Silky mouthfeel with notes of sweet pineapple and vegetal asparagus with lettuce overtones.
Finish: A celery-like peppery finish, lots of depth, supremely smooth.
The Bottom Line:
Smooth and easy to drink, but it has a chemical quality to the nose that keeps it from being truly great.
Lobos 1707 Joven offers a complexity that a lot of tequilas at this price range just don’t offer. It’s not technically a blanco tequila, instead it’s a joven which means it’s mixed with a measure of reposado — giving it a distinct character that features all the brightness you’d expect from a blanco, with a tinge of deep and mellow flavors at the back end.
Made from aged Blue Weber agave, this tequila is carbon filtered and finished in PX wine barrels, offering a buttery finish and some earthy tones that make it perfectly sippable as well as versatile in a cocktail.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Spicy and earthy.
Palate: Highly vegetal with deep tones of tobacco leaf, agave, and black pepper.
Finish: Buttery lip-smacking finish. Very satisfying on the backend.
The Bottom Line:
Rich and distinct with a mouthwatering buttery finish with the sort of brightness and vegetal quality you love in a blanco. It’s kind of the best of both worlds between the simplicity of a blanco and the complexity of a reposado.
You’ll find Espolon on all sorts of best tequila lists (ours included) and there is a very clear reason why. This is hands down the best tequila you’re going to get in this price range. It’s just over $20 per 750ml bottle, and yet it’s full of complexity, flavor, and versatility.
Perfect for shooting or mixing in cocktails, Espolon punches way above its weight but as good as it is, it does come with some baggage as well. Most of its negative notes exist in the nose, it’s the sort of tequila that makes you wince when you smell it. It smells cheap, but it doesn’t taste it and that’s why it’s a favorite amongst so many.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Harsh kerosene quality. Almost eye-watering.
Palate: Supremely smooth with hints of tropical fruit, grass, and caramel.
Finish: A bright oaky finish with hints of roasted agave.
The Bottom Line:
It smells cheap, it won’t break the bank, and it tastes way better than something this affordable should. A tequila that punches way above its weight, a perfect bottle to bring to a party.
Herradura touts itself as the world’s first reposado tequila and, it is! First released in 1974, it set the standard for mellow slightly aged tequila. Herradura’s repo is aged for 11 months in charred American white oak barrels giving the liquid a smooth sweet finish with a beautiful rich amber color. But just because a brand is first, doesn’t mean it’s the best.
Don’t get us wrong, Herradura’s reposado is excellent, but there are far better versions of this expression out there that don’t come across quite as candy sweet as this one does. Maybe that’s your thing, but we like our tequila with a bit more bite.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Cotton candy sweet, slightly floral.
Palate: Strong notes of cinnamon and maple mingle with notes of cotton candy. Confection-like, very sweet.
Finish: Vanilla and butter on the finish with a fantastic silky mouthfeel.
The Bottom Line:
If you like your tequila candy-sweet and syrupy (some writers might call this “smooth”), this is your bottle.
Espanita’s reposado is aged for six months in charred American white oak barrels sourced from bourbon manufacturers in Kentucky. Those bourbon barrels make all the difference, there is a carmelized quality and smoothest to this tequila that is reminiscent of fine bourbon, while still containing the zesty bright qualities you might expect from tequila.
Espanita is produced at NOM 1467 and double distilled in copper pots and utilizes a roller mill extraction and is cooked in stone and brick ovens.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Zesty with notes of ginger spice and roasted agave.
Palate: Dark and distinct kola nut qualities with hints of cinnamon, creamy and buttery walnuts, and rich vanilla.
Finish: An earthy finish with a candied coconut quality.
The Bottom Line:
You’ll find a nice journey of flavors in this bottle. From spicey notes like ginger and cinnamon to sweetened coconut at the finish.
Until Kendall Jenner hit the tequila scene, George Clooney’s Casamigos set the standard for celebrity tequila, and even though Clooney sold Casamigos a long time ago, it’s still a damn good tequila. Made from 100% Blue Weber agave from the highlands of Jalisco, Casamigos goes through a slow fermentation process and is made from slow-cooked pinas in traditional brick ovens. The tequila hails from NOM 1609, where it is the only brand in production at the distillery.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Fresh-cut grass and roasted agave dominate the nose.
Palate: Highly vegetal with strong asparagus overtones and a sweet marshmallow quality.
Finish: Roasted nuts and vanilla on the finish. A bit harsh but in a good way.
The Bottom Line:
Bright, fresh, and transparent. Casamigos is a great companion to just about any tequila-based cocktail.
When 818 first hit the scene it was produced at NOM 1137, La Cofradia, where 63 other brands are produced. It sounds hard to believe but even back then 818 was good, now it’s produced at NOM 1607, Grupo Solave, which produces under five brands, and with an increased sense of focus and quality control, this brand tastes even better than its initial run of bottles.
This award-winning tequila is produced using traditional methods, like Tahona extraction and cooper pot distillation before being barrel aged for three weeks, producing a distinct roundness that makes it all to easy to drink.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Incredibly floral with a bright lemongrass quality to it.
Palate: Strongly vanilla with top notes of peach hovering over the cooked agave flavor.
Finish: Smooth with notes of toasted coconut and rich chocolate. Dangerously easy to drink.
The Bottom Line:
Sweeter and easier to drink than Casamigos, but just as versatile. 818 is a crowd-pleaser and the perfect bottle to utilize if you’re trying to introduce someone to the world of tequila. Especially if that person is yourself.
Hailing from NOM 1507, Dano’s Dangerous utilizes brick oven cooking, roller mill extraction, and natural spring water for its base tequila which is then aged for 9 months in virgin white oak barrels for an ultra-smooth expression. The bottle design looks cheap, but don’t let the lack of adornment fool you, this tequila is beloved garnering multiple awards including Gold from the 2020 Sip Awards International Spirits Competition, Gold from the San Francisco World Spirits Competition, and Double Gold at the WSWA Tasting competition.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Toasted agave and deep chocolate tones dominate the nose.
Palate: Vanilla, toasted almonds, agave, a bit of oak, and cool mint qualities on the backend.
Finish: Very smooth with hints of caramel and mango with a black peppercorn bite.
The Bottom Line:
Complex, distinct, rich, and smooth. Don’t let the name turn you off, the only thing “dangerous” about this tequila is how easy it is to drink.
LALO is a brand with a singular focus — blanco tequila, and it pays off as this is one of our favorite blanco tequilas currently on the market. Using agave sourced from the Jalisco highlands, this tequila utilizes deep well water, is double distilled, and uses a proprietary champagne yeast.
The agave is cooked in stone steam ovens for 20 to 32 hours and rested for an additional 18 hours. No barrels or additives are used in the making of tequila, making this one of the more pure agave expressions out there. It has a bright vegetal flavor that we can’t get enough of.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Bright and zesty citrus on the nose.
Palate: Buttery with hints of cooked agave and caramel.
Finish: Fruity, bright, vegetal, there is a very pure quality to this tequila.
The Bottom Line:
Wonderfully transparent, bright, and vegetal, the perfect clean-tasting blanco tequila.
I’ve long sung the praises of El Tesoro and for the money, I think this is simply one of the best bottles of tequila you can hope to buy. This tequila is produced at NOM 1139, the legendary La Alteña distillery, and utilizes tahona extraction, open-air wood fermentation, cooper pot distillation, and natural spring water. The tequila is then aged in American oak ex-bourbon barrels for nine to eleven months giving it a wonderful smokey and sweet finish.
Winner of the Double Gold Medal at the San Francisco Spirits Competition and Ultimate Spirits Challenge in 2021, El Tesoro has a complexity to it that ignites the palate and leaves your mouth watering.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Smokey oak tones on the nose with a butterscotch edge.
Palate: Silky with hints of coconut, dark cherry, and roasted agave. A warm honey-like body.
Finish: Peppery with a smooth oaky finish with a nice cooked agave quality.
The Bottom Line:
It’s complex enough to sit alongside bottles in the above $50 range with a smooth finish and a wonderful and addicting flavor. If you’re looking for the best tequila under $50, this is the one, easily.
The links — full of pork, fat, salt, herbs, and spices (marjoram, coriander, mace, cardamom, and nutmeg with dried ginger and white pepper) — are among the most popular sausages around the globe and are sure to land on many a grill this week (no offense to Italian sausage or kielbasa fans). So let’s blindly taste some classic versions from the grocery store to find the best one for you to fire up.
Before we dive in, a little context. I lived in Berlin for 14 years. I have a deep knowledge of the massive world that is German sausages. Before you chime in with how many sausage types you think there are in Germany, I’m going to stop you. It’s way, way, way more than you think. Yes, Frankfurters, weisswurst, Weiners, bratwurst, and maybe even bockwurst get a lot of play in America but that’s barely scratching the surface. There are, wait for it, over 1,200 different types of sausages across Germany. Some are good, some are great, some are … let’s just say an acquired taste.
That all said, I’ve spent more than one or two beer-fueled evenings debating (arguing) over how much mace, cardamom, and marjoram a good fresh bratwurst should have, the ratio of lean to fat, and even casings (lamb adds a nice crack and umami bite but pork is traditional). Hell, I can give good arguments about the breed of pig to use — it’s Landrace or Berkshire, though Eurasian wild pig has its charms. I’ve even hosted parties/cookouts where we made our own brats while brewing beer (about the most German thing you can do).
That’s a long way to say, this is in my wheelhouse.
For this exercise, I went to four grocery stores and bought all the standard bratwurst they had. No cheese wurst or maple chicken smoked blah, blah, blah. Just the standard stuff that was either in the cooler with the bacon and hot dogs or the brats that were on the butcher counter next to the steaks and roasts.
That makes our lineup the following today:
Whole Foods Butcher Counter Local Beer Bratwurst Sausage
When it comes to grilling, tasting, and ranking these brats, I kept it pretty straightforward. All of the brats were cooked on a grill (Traeger at 400F) until their internal temp hit 165F (about 10 to 15 minutes depending on size). After that, my wife lined up the entrants on plates and served them to me blind. That said, it was painfully obvious which brats were the fake meat ones… but more on that later.
The ranking was pretty straightforward too. What tasted best? Was there a presence of marjoram (crucial!)? Mace, nutmeg, and cardamom? Was it soft and juicy with a nice fattiness? Or was it mealy and plain with too much sweetness? Those were my baseline parameters. Let’s get into and find you the best brats to grill this weekend!
(Quick note: every place I went to only had Beer Cheese Johnsonville Brats and not the Classic Johnsonville Brats, so they’re not ranked even though you’ll likely see them at your grocery store.)
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Food Posts From The Last 6 Months
Ugh. This is grainy AF. There’s a mild sense of salt and herbs but nothing really distinct. It’s not dry, but not juicy by any stretch.
Initial Thoughts:
This felt like an American having seen a bratwurst on PBS and then tried to make one themselves without looking up a recipe.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This is spot on. It’s a precooked version (which is the most ubiquitous brat in Germany) and hits the flavor profile perfectly. There’s a clear sense of dried marjoram, a nice pinch of mace, and cardamom. There’s a very faint sense of white pepper and dried ginger too. The sausage is lush and moist. The casing has a great crackle to it.
Initial Thoughts:
Where’s the mustard? This is really good and tastes exactly right for a precooked German brat.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This was savory with a nice sense of white pepper and umami with a whisper of marjoram. The texture wasn’t terrible but clearly faux meat. There was a nice attempt at a casing but no crack.
Initial Thoughts:
This was fine. If you smothered it in ketchup and mustard it’d be passable.
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This had a nice crack and moistness punctuated by sharp spice and savory herbs — though not exactly distinct ones. The sausage was very good with a twinge of sweetness.
Initial Thoughts:
This felt like a classic American brat. The savory/spice mix was on point and the added sweetness gave it away as cheap but kind of addictive. I wanted more, especially with a dollop of mustard to counter that corn syrup.
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This had a nice structure to it. There was a bit of crack on the casing. The precooked brat filling was pretty bland. There was a very mild sense of white pepper and garlic powder with maybe some paprika. I did get a whisper of nutmeg and cardamom at the end but not much else.
Initial Thoughts:
I really had to reach to find those flavor notes. They were there, but just barely. Overall, this felt blander than I’d like.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This was okay. The precooked sausage had a decent crack and meatiness. There was a mix of spices but they were pretty hard to distinguish. Overall, this was average.
Initial Thoughts:
This needed something to help it pop. Where’s the marjoram?
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This looked … bad. Let’s just leave it at that. No casing so no crack. The “sausage” was mealy and plasticky. There was a sense of seasoning but it was indistinct. It was very chewy.
Initial Thoughts:
I spit this nonsense out.
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This was damn good. The sausage was actually juicy, well-seasoned, and mildly spiced with a good sense of umami bite. This tasted like a good American brat with a vivid layer of sweetness counterpointing the spice and herbs.
Initial Thoughts:
This needed a dollop of mustard to counter all that corn syrup but had a great seasoning profile. This isn’t a classic German brat by any stretch of the imagination but it was a good sausage.
Beyond Sausages Brat Original boasts of having 35% less saturated fat on the packaging. The “sausage” is made from a mix of pea protein, coconut oil, sunflower oil, brown rice protein, potato starch, fava bean protein, and apple fiber amongst “natural flavors” (MSG), and calcium alginate casing (I had to look it up too).
The package states that you have to brush the link in oil before grilling, which … hard pass.
This is the sausage from the butcher counter at Whole Foods. The ingredients are pretty simple: Pork, beer, “bratwurst seasoning,” pork casing, and WHEAT (they put it in all caps, not me).
Bottom Line:
This was the most disappointing by far. The good sausages in the butcher case are supposed to be better, right? These were worse. This was a grainy mess. Hard pass.
Impossible Bratwurst is made from a slurry of soy protein, sunflower oil, coconut oil, yeast extract, vegetal casing, modified food starch, and a ton of other stuff that’s way too long to list here. Bonus points though, it does list “marjoram” as an ingredient.
This grilled up pretty much like any brat on the grill with no extra fussing like Beyond.
Bottom Line:
This was fine. If you’re planning on adding some grilled onions and peppers, it’d pass. On its own, it’s not ideal. It just kind of tastes like you’re eating the inside of a plastic food bin that once held tasty brats.
5. Whole Foods Organic Bratwurst Savory Herb — Taste 5
This precooked brat from Whole Foods is a “healthier” mix of ingredients. It’s made with organic chicken, sea salt, organic black pepper, organic red pepper, organic coriander, organic nutmeg, organic cardamom, and natural pork casing.
This grilled up pretty easily and quickly.
Bottom Line:
This was fine. I wouldn’t confuse it for a German sausage, but it wasn’t without its charms. In a bun with some spicy mustard and maybe some kraut and this would be passable.
This beloved brand from Portland, Oregon, is made with a minimalist mix of pork, pork fat, milk powder, salt, spices, dextrose, dried vinegar, and Hog casing.
This also grilled up nicely on the ol’ grill.
Bottom Line:
The addition of milk throws me here. That aside, this was pretty bland all things considered. If you’re cooking a big pile of onions and peppers, then you’ll be in a better place flavor-wise. On its own, this still needs some kind of sauce to pep it up.
This butcher counter bratwurst is very local (well, to Tennessee/Kentucky anyway). The ingredients include premium fresh pork, corn syrup, salt, spices, lemon juice powder (which also has corn syrup), and spice extractives. That’s a lot.
This grilled up the best. It retained its juiciness and was still plump when it came off the grill at temp.
Bottom Line:
This was pretty good all things considered. It was really sweet — that dinged it a bit since it overpowered the spice and herbs in the sausage. That said, this would be pretty good on a soft roll with some mustard to counter all that corn syrup.
These are the standard, cheap brats you get in the meat aisle at the grocery store. The ingredients include pork and spices and a bunch of stuff that ends in -ose, -ide, and -extrin along with corn syrup.
This shrank a bit while grilling but that sort of concentrated the flavors and moistness.
Bottom Line:
These tasted good. It was a tad sweet (but most American versions of anything are). Overall, this had the most American bratwurst vibe to it and would have really shined with a dab of spicy mustard with some grilled onions and peppers on a soft roll.
The only Trader Joe’s brat available is a precooked version from Germany. The ingredients include pork, marjoram, black pepper, nutmeg, mace, ginger, coriander, and pimento with pork casing (amongst other stabilizers).
This grilled up easily and nicely, holding onto its moistness.
Bottom Line:
This was far and away the best-tasting brat on the list today. It actually tasted like a bratwurst. It also had a nice crack to the casing, good moistness to the meat, and distinguishable herbs and spices that belong in a bratwurst.
Part 3: Final Thoughts
Zach Johnston
If you want the real thing this weekend when you’re grilling up before the game, then you’re going to need to make a trip to Trader Joe’s. The rest of the links on this list didn’t even come close. The rub here is that Trader Joe’s brats are only “okay” when compared to what you really get around Germany but that’s beside the point. They’re still good, well-seasoned, and cook up nice on a grill.
If a trip to Trader Joe’s is out of the cards, then just grab the classic cheap brats from your local grocery store. They’ll do nicely compared to the other crap on the shelf out there. Just beware of all that sweetness, add some grilled onions and peppers, and get plenty of spicy mustard.
On Wednesday afternoon, Twitter — a service now owned by a guy whose electric cars keep malfunctioning and causing accidents — started acting funky. Starting around 4:45pm EST, users started noticing they could no longer post messages on one of the world’s most popular social media service. There was a workaround to get tweets live again, and once people discovered it, the jokes started flying well before the problems had mostly but not completely subsided.
I just scheduled a Tweet for a minute from now. Twitter accepted it and then told me it would post on Feb 14th. Go home, Twitter. You’re drunk. I wonder when this will post.
Mid-afternoon, people who tweet a lot — or just happened to be tweeting then — got a strange message when they hit the “tweet” button: “You are over the limit of sending daily tweets.” The problem affected not only people who tweet too much but even those who had tweeted once or even zero times that day.
There was a fix: Instead of clicking on “tweet,” people could simply schedule their post for a minute later (provided they selected the correct date). Soon Twitter was alive again, mostly with people complaining about how it was broken.
To make matters fishier, the outage happened the same day as a splashy — and ultimately fruitless — House oversight committee hearing led by the MAGA wing of the chamber into Twitter’s alleged suppression of Hunter Biden dick pics. There was a lot of shouting, sometimes by elected lawmakers who had repeatedly heckled President Joe Biden at his State of the Union address the night before. But by the end of the day they had, as Democrat Rep. Jamie Raskin put it, “turned up absolutely nothing.”
It’s unlikely the two incidents are related, but since, again, Twitter owner Elon Musk owns Tesla, some speculated on a connection.
So the day the Twitter files hearings backfire to show that Trump got more special treatment than any Democrat, the whole site implodes? Hmmm.
As it happened, the outage happened mere hours after MAGA lawmakers, who failed to prove the government had coerced them into burying dick pics of the current president’s son, singled out Musk for saving Twitter from…well, from not having weird outages.
mere hours before Twitter temporarily died for reasons that remain unclear, numerous House Republicans were literally thanking God for Elon Musk pic.twitter.com/gIjwxmB1qL
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(@LawMurrayTheNU) February 9, 2023
Houston, Texas, baby 
(@twilisita) 
(@scubaryan_)