On Saturday, Chris Rock held his first major stand-up special since that Oscars slap that shocked the world. He saved it for last, and he did not disappoint: Not only had the comic not forgiven and forgot, he was still fuming. Rock’s scorched earth finale, in which he torched both Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, overshadowed the 50 minutes or so that preceded it, which may be why people weren’t talking about one of his more surprising revelations.
And imagine if all schools had consequences. 2/2 clips pic.twitter.com/cRdqdA0jWu
— Curious One (@verycuriousnow) March 5, 2023
At one point during Rock’s hour-long set, he talked about his daughters, Lola and Zahra, who he described as “rich kids.” “My kids ski, they ride horses,” he said. “They fence. I got fencing little Black girls.”
Rock doesn’t want them to grow up to be spoiled, though, and to demonstrate how committed he is to that, he told a story about a time when Lola got into trouble in high school at a private school. During a class trip to Portugal, Lola and four other students slipped out to go drinking. They were caught. Not that they were ever in real trouble.
“These crazy white schools got rich ass white parents and rich ass white parents do not let their kids get kicked out of school,” Rock explained. “So all the parents, they all got lawyers, even the ones that were lawyers got lawyers. Good lawyers.”
Though Rock’s ex-wife was adamant they lawyer up to keep Lola in school, he decided otherwise. He secretly drove to the school and asked the dean for a favor.
“I need you to kick my daughter out of this school,” he recalled saying. “I need you to kick her Black ass out of this school. I need my Black child to learn her lesson right now before she is up on OnlyFans and some sh*t Please kick my child out of f*cking school.”
And so they did (along with the other girls, amazingly).
The happy ending? Lola appears to have learned the lesson and applied herself. She’s now in culinary school in Paris and doing great. Her father, meanwhile, just had perhaps the most attention-grabbing stand-up special of his long career.