Donald Trump was certain he was going to be arrested last Tuesday. Or maybe it was Tuesday before that. It’s hard to keep track, like when the Mike Lindell kept pushing back his evidence that will “shock the country.” We’re still waiting, Pillow Man. And we’re going to have to wait a bit longer for the grand jury in Trump’s hush money case to deliver a verdict, as they’re going on break for most of April. Suddenly, the former president has “such respect” for them.
“I HAVE GAINED SUCH RESPECT FOR THIS GRAND JURY, & PERHAPS EVEN THE GRAND JURY SYSTEM AS A WHOLE,” Trump wrote in all-caps rant on Truth Social. “THE EVIDENCE IS SO OVERWHELMING IN MY FAVOR, & SO RIDICULOUSLY BAD FOR THE HIGHLY PARTISAN & HATEFUL DISTRICT ATTORNEY, THAT THE GRAND JURY IS SAYING, HOLD ON, WE ARE NOT A RUBBER STAMP, WHICH MOST GRAND JURIES ARE BRANDED AS BEING…”
It goes on, but you get the idea. Jimmy Kimmel called Trump’s post “the saddest damn thing I have ever read,” he said during Wednesday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. “The great and powerful Donald Trump weakly kissing the all-caps asses of people he will never meet in a last-ditch hope he might somehow flatter them just enough to let him off the hook.” He added, “I haven’t seen anything this pathetic since he asked Stormy to spank him with a Forbes magazine. It is just sad with an exclamation point on the end of it.”
You can watch Kimmel’s monologue above.