Month: March 2023

The NBA MVP conversation has morphed into an extremely heated debate this year in some circles, with Nikola Jokic and Giannis Antetokounmpo each vying for their third (and for Jokic, his third in a row), while Joel Embiid has plenty of support to earn his first.

As such, every matchup between two of the three bigs leading the MVP conversation becomes magnified, with Monday night’s showdown between Embiid and Jokic in Denver as highly anticipated a cross-conference matchup as we’ve had this season. Unfortunately, the shine has been removed from the potential Embiid-Jokic showdown due to a lingering calf injury Embiid is dealing with that, per ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski and Ramona Shelburne, will keep him out.

Embiid’s calf issue first popped up last week in a blowout win over the Bulls, as he sat the entire second half after feeling some discomfort. He then played in the Sixers’ back-to-back against the Warriors and Suns on Friday and Saturday, a pair of losses where he combined for 74 points across the two games. Two days later, the Sixers are shutting him down for a night, but just so happen to be picking the game everyone wants to see.

It’s understandable from a team standpoint given their upcoming schedule features some big matchups in the East, as they have the Raptors, Bucks, Celtics, Heat, Hawks, and Nets all coming up to closeout the season. While they’ve clinched a playoff berth, there’s still a little work to do to lock down the 3-seed over the Cavaliers and those East showdowns may be bigger from a team standpoint in terms of building confidence going into the playoffs.

Even understanding that, it’s a major disappointment for overall fans of the game who want to see two titans of the league go head-to-head. Embiid and Jokic almost always deliver great performances when they go up against each other and it’d be refreshing for at least one night to have the MVP conversation shift fully to the outcome of a game and what happened on the floor. Instead, this potential MVP showdown is another casualty of a contender trying to navigate an 82-game season in order to be at its best come playoff time.

Tracking down the best Scotch whisky at over $250 per bottle is no average task. Whether we’re talking about peated whisky or unpeated malt, wine cask finishes, cask strength offerings, or limited edition releases — this is very expensive and unique whisky. Does a special bourbon barrel finish or 25 years of aging really merit a price tag of nearly $300?

The short answer is, “yes.” Sometimes.

Finding, buying, and actually enjoying a good bottle of Scotch whisky at this price point is where I come in. I’m lucky enough to get to taste this stuff year in and year out and have done all the pre-sifting for you. So below, I’m calling out 12 bottles of expensive Scotch whisky that I think you should give a shot (well, pour into a nice whisky glass and slowly sip, really).

And while this is all pretty stellar scotch, I’ve still ranked these bottles. Some of them simply have more depth and nuance plus go that extra distance to make them truly transcendent pours of whisky. My advice, find the tasting notes that speak to you and then click those price links to see if you can get it in your region. Let’s dive in!

• The 50 Best Scotch Whiskies Of 2022, Ranked
• The Best Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whiskies Under $100, Ranked
• The Absolute Best Scotch Whisky Between $60-$70, Ranked
• Single Malt Whiskeys From Around The World, Blind Tasted And Ranked
• We Blind Tasted Single Malt Whiskies From All Over The World To Find A Champion

12. The Macallan Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Estate

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $289

The Whisky:

This The Macallan expression ups the ante by using barley from the Easter Elchies Estate around The Macallan distillery, making it a single-estate whisky. The spirit from that hyper-local mash is aged for an undisclosed amount of time in undisclosed barrels but you can bet there’s some sherry and bourbon involved.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Woody cinnamon sticks rubbed with orange zest pop on the nose as a thick banana bread batter with walnuts, nutmeg, and plenty of butter leads to a smidge of lemon oil and maybe some river rock.

Palate: The palate has plenty of woodiness from that cinnamon and adds in a touch of clove and allspice before savory figs and meaty prunes lead to a mix of raisins, nuts, and candied orange peels.

Finish: The finish is pure silk with layers of orange cake, cinnamon frosting, and fig jam culminating in a rush of soft woody spices on the back end.

Bottom Line:

This is a great “next step” The Macallan. It’s nuanced and soft while being one of the most inviting whiskies on the list. But by that same token, this might not play as “exciting” to more advanced whisky drinkers out there. Either way, add this to your collection if you’re looking for a masterclass in easy-going Highland Malt that’ll be a major crowd-pleaser.

11. Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 21 Years

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $289

The Whisky:

Rum casks and sweet single malts are a great match. This whisky starts off by mellowing for 21 years in ex-bourbon casks before that juice is transferred to Caribbean rum barrels for a final rest. That whisky is then blended and proofed down for bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This is very “perfume” driven on the nose with plenty of sticky toffee pudding — the dates, nutmeg, toffee, vanilla, everything — leading to a hint of cherry bark and old leather.

Palate: The palate has a thin line of cream soda with more of that floral perfume, woody cinnamon apple, and a bit of sultana and prunes.

Finish: The finish leans into the florals and honey as a waft of freshly baked banana bread floats past and the creaminess amps up towards a kind of a Key lime pie vibe.

Bottom Line:

“Easy-going” is going to be an early theme on this list. This is an excellently tuned unpeated single malt. It’s kind of like a long hug from an old friend. It has zero kick and registers as lush and velvety on your senses. If you’re looking for a whisky that feels like a long and soft slumber in sweet malt, this is the one.

10. The Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 21 Years

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $250

The Whisky:

This redesigned The Glenlivet is still a classic whisky. The hot juice is aged in a triple combination of first-fill Oloroso sherry, Troncais oak Cognac casks, and vintage Colheita Port casks. After 21 long years (at least), the barrels are vatted and proofed down before bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Leather and winter spices lead the way on the nose with a hint of saffron-stewed pears, ripe peaches, and lush eggnog next to boiled beans with a bay leaf.

Palate: The palate leans into the peaches and pears but puts them in a pie with plenty of cinnamon, clove, and nutmeg next to apricot jam and rum-raisin.

Finish: The mid-palate hits a pine resin note before descending toward brandied cherries and dark chocolate with fresh ginger sharpens and a dash of cinnamon candy.

Bottom Line:

This is very similar to the above whisky with a hint more dankness. Overall, this is the bottle you get when you’re ready for a slightly more advanced unpeated single malt experience but still want to feel safe while enjoying a delicious pour of whisky.

9. Glenmorangie Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Signet

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $267

The Whisky:

This Glenmorangie expression is a prime example of something truly special. The whisky is a mix of single malts with estate-grown malts and “chocolate malts” (meaning they were roasted until dark and chocolatey). The hot juice then went into new American oak for varying amounts of time for blending, proofing, and bottling. While there’s no age statement, there are barrels up to 40 years old in the mix.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: You’re greeted with a note of dried apricots with a hint of clove, leading towards a very light dark orange chocolate.

Palate: The chocolate amps up the bitterness, reaching espresso bean levels as some eggnog spice kicks in with a silky mouthfeel and a touch of wet tobacco.

Finish: The end brings about a flourish of bright citrus zest that dries everything out, leaving you with a lingering final note of earthy dried mushrooms, burnt orange cut with clove, moist marzipan, and this faint whisper of sagebrush blooms.

Bottom Line:

This is getting into the “risk-taker” section of the list. This is unpeated malt with a deep maltiness that feels nostalgic but kind of fresh and fun. The earthiness and deeply roasted malts really meld well with the woody spices to create a deep and dark whisky that remains light and playful too.

8. Ardbeg Fermutation Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 49.4%

Average Price: $299

The Whisky:

The “happy accident” that led to this whisky was Ardbeg’s boilers breaking down. Instead of throwing out the mash until those were fixed, Dr. Bill Lumsden (the mad-scientist distiller behind Ardbeg) decided to see what would happen if they let it be. The washback lids were opened and the mash was allowed to ferment with the sea-kissed Islay air for three more weeks. To put that in perspective, Ardbeg (and most whiskies) usually ferment for 72 hours before distillation. Once the boilers were back up and running, the whisky was distilled and then barreled in first-fill and re-fill bourbon casks. 13 years later, Dr. Bill decided it was ready and here we are.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose starts off with this burst of fresh green grass just after the rain that melts into a summer herb garden (mint heavy), grapefruit seeds, and smoked butter with sweet lemon candy and orange trees that are underpinned with a dark and rich soil that’s been turned with manure.

Palate: Going deeper on the nose, you get fresh tires, mossy fir bark, and maybe a hint of fennel-heavy focaccia. The palate starts off incredibly soft with a toffee note before veering into burnt scones, hints of absinthe, what feels like powdered turmeric, and finally cigarette ash.

Finish: The finish lets that sweetness stay while the cigarette ash builds towards a crescendo and leaves your senses feeling like you’ve licked an ashtray.

Bottom Line:

This is the whisky you buy and pour when you want to take your love of peat whisky to insane heights. This whisky almost dares you to not like it while still somehow pulling off this magic trick of pure delectability. It’s insanely deep and riveting while still feeling like a wild ride through peated Islay malt, making this a must-have for true peat-heads.

7. The GlenGrant Rothes Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 21 Years

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $255

The Whisky:

This brand-new release from The Glen Grant Distillery is a part of their Principal Collection. The whisky was crafted by Master Blender Dennis Malcolm, OBE, using at least 21-year-old ex-bourbon and ex-Olorosso sherry casks. That final batching was just proofed down for this special bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with a rush of spicy and sugary tropical fruits that range from grilled pineapple dusted in nutmeg and clove to stewed peaches in cinnamon and allspice next to a hint of caramelized malts and old cellar oak.

Palate: Those singed tropical fruits and stewed stone fruits drive the palate toward a hint of caramel-chocolate malt biscuits next to a faint hint of old golden honey and burnt sugars over lush vanilla buttercream.

Finish: That lush vanilla creaminess drives the finish toward a sweet and caramelized end with a hint of pear and apricot over lush marzipan.

Bottom Line:

This is one of those bottles that just really f*cking nice. Sometimes that’s all you need.

6. Clynelish Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 12 Years 2022 Special Release

ABV: 58.5%

Average Price: $251

The Whisky:

This unpeated Highland malt from last year’s exclusive Special Release lineup was mellowed in refill American oak barrels that held bourbon and then finished in Pedro Ximenez and Oloroso sherry-seasoned casks. This final result was bottled 100% as-is at cask strength.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a subtle mix of mincemeat pies, syrupy pears from the can, floral honey, and a herbal note of maybe bay leaf or sage with a whisper of mint on the nose.

Palate: The palate has a waxy saltwater taffy vibe tied to vanilla with a soft pepperiness and woody winter spice warmth next to soft toffees.

Finish: The end is lightly spiced with dried chili pepper and peppercorns next to that soft and waxy vanilla saltwater taffy on the spicy finish.

Bottom Line:

This is an excellent limited-edition whisky. It feels like the candy bowl from your childhood rendered in whisky form. If you’re looking for a truly soft and candied whisky experience, look no further.

5. Glenglassaugh Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 30 Years

ABV: 42%

Average Price: $270

The Whisky:

This distillery was reopened in 2008 after a long slumber. Back in the day, the malt coming out of Glenglassaugh was primarily used for Cutty Sark and The Famous Grouse so this 30-year-old malt release harkens back to those heady days. This particular release was pulled from barrels that rested for three decades in Glenglassaugh’s beachside warehouse, which are exposed to the frigid North Sea atmosphere.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Mango skins and peach compote drive the nose toward mincemeat pies with plenty of cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg next to a rich woody tobacco layered with nutty banana bread.

Palate: That mango sweetens on the palate as marmalade and dry figs mingle with more mincemeat pie with a side of mulled wine, toffee candied, and ginger tea leaves.

Finish: A gentle warmth from the winter mulled wine spices and ginger builds with the soft toffee malt on the finish with a good pinch of sea salt and black-tea-soaked dates dipped in salted honey.

Bottom Line:

This is a complex and very sippable whisky. The salinity really adds a nice counterbalance to all the dark fruit and spice. Overall, this is a splashy pour of malt that’s sure to wow whoever has a glass of it in their hand.

4. Fettercairn Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 22 Years

ABV: 47%

Average Price: $254

The Whisky:

Fettercairn is somewhat of a whisky lover’s whisky brand. The tiny Highland distillery has been diligently pumping out delicious brown sauce since the 1820s. For this release, they aged their malt in ex-bourbon casks for 22 long years before vatting, proofing with local water, and bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Plum jam and mincemeat pies mingle with nutty spiced zucchini bread, vanilla pods, and a hint of ginger snaps on the nose.

Palate: Stewed pears in cinnamon and allspice lead toward caramelized orange syrup steeped with anise, nutmeg, and clove and poured over salted licorice with a hint of sour cherry and espresso cream.

Finish: That cherry and espresso creaminess drives the finish toward a soft end full of soft dried fruits, woody winter spices, and sweet vanilla buttercream.

Bottom Line:

This is funky and delicious with a clear nod to bourbon thanks to the vanilla whispers throughout. The spices are bold yet the feel is soft and approachable. If you’re looking for something to take unpeated malt to 11, this is the bottle for you.

3. The Dalmore King Alexander III Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 44%

Average Price: $289

The Whisky:

The Dalmore went above and beyond with this bespoke blend of malts. The mix marries six barrels: French wine, Madeira, sherry, Marsala, port, and Kentucky bourbon casks. This is one of the more creative and extreme examples of barreling in the single malt game and resulted in an award-winning and much-beloved whisky.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a deep sense of fruit on the nose which really leans into raspberry, red currant, and a touch of blueberry with chocolate maltiness and creamy bourbon vanilla.

Palate: The palate embraces the vanilla to the point of creating a pudding texture while dark chocolate-covered almonds lead towards cherry brandy, hints of boozy oranges, and salted caramel ice cream.

Finish: The end is long and full of Christmas spices that bring everything together like a brandy-fueled, marzipan-heavy, and fruity dessert-laden holiday meal in a Glencairn glass.

Bottom Line:

This is another whisky that’s just straight-up delicious from top to bottom. It’s damn near perfect unpeated malt that’s almost impossible not to enjoy.

2. Mortlach Single Malt Scotch Whisky Special Releases 2022

ABV: 57.8%

Average Price: $261

The Whisky:

Mortlach is the quintessential whisky nerd’s whisky. This variation diverges from the normal sherry cask aging that Mortlach undergoes. In this case, the whiskey was finished in red muscat, new oak, and tawny-port casks before vatting and then bottling 100% as-is at cask strength.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Sticky toffee pudding and sour cherries tossed in sea salt mingle with pears stewed in white wine and saffron, dark raspberry dipped in dark chocolate, candied ginger, cinnamon-laced salted butter, and a hint of dry oolong tea packed in an old oak box.

Palate: The palate is lush with layers of pear woodiness, more of that dark chocolate cut with toffee and dark dried fruit next to warm spiced marmalade, a hint of anise and licorice, and a soft buttercream.

Finish: That butteriness attaches to walnut bread with plenty of rich and sharp winter spices next to dark toffees covered in dark chocolate and flaked with salt next to dried figs and prunes over luscious marzipan-vanilla creaminess.

Bottom Line:

Goddamn, this is good whisky. It’s just so nostalgic and deeply satisfying as a sipper. It really is kind of perfect. This may as well be tied for first place.

1. The GlenDronach Parliament Aged 21 Years Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 48%

Average Price: $279

The Whisky:

Don’t let the name fool you. The “parliament” in this case is the collective noun for rooks — a type of European crow that nests above the distillery. That dark essence is rendered in the whisky through 21 long years of maturation in Oloroso and Pedro Ximenez sherry casks exclusively.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a lot going on with this nose, starting with blackberry brambles hanging heavy with ripe fruit leading towards a well-spiced oatmeal cookie, soft marzipan cut with hints of orange zest, a light sense of dark chocolate with a creamy edge, and soft vanilla cookies sprinkled with mint and lavender.

Palate: A sticky toffee pudding sweetness arrives (heavy on the black tea-soaked dates and nutmeg with a well-salted toffee drizzle) with flourishes of bitter dark chocolate notes and a sharp holiday spice matrix that leans into bark and berry botanicals with a dash of sweet nutmeg.

Finish: The end is very long and very velvety with hints of dark fruits, winter spice barks, soft marzipan, and a fleeting sense of a wildflower orchard.

Bottom Line:

This is a perfect whisky. No faults. It’s just delicious.

Donald Trump‘s iPod (you know he still uses an iPod) has more than just showtunes on it. There’s also “YMCA” by the Village People, who want nothing to do with Trump, and “Justice for All.” No, it’s not the title track from Metallica’s 1988 album; it’s the song the former president recorded with the J6 Prison Choir, which is comprised of a group of men who were imprisoned for their involvement with the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol.

“Justice for All” — a sub-Glee mashup of the men’s choir singing “The Star Spangled Banner” over a half-interested Trump reciting “The Pledge of Allegiance” — was played during this weekend’s Trump rally in Waco, Texas.

Here’s how the Washington Post described the scene:

Before Trump began to speak, however, there was one other bit of patriotic business at hand. “Ladies and gentlemen,” an announcer told the MAGA-bedecked assembly, “please rise and place your hand over your heart for” — and here’s where you expect the disembodied voice to say “the Pledge of Allegiance,” but that is not what he said — “the number one song on iTunes, Amazon, and the Billboard charts: ‘Justice for All,’ featuring President Donald J. Trump and the J6 choir!”

If a Democrat did a “ladies and gentlemen, please rise and place your hand over your heart for…” fake out, it would be the only thing Fox News would talk about for a week. Maybe even two weeks.

These people feel like a bald eagle kicked them in the face… with patriotism!

(Via the Washington Post)

While Aaron Dessner has long been known in the indie rock community thanks to his work in The National, he has found himself in the pop music spotlight since 2020, when he and Jack Antonoff co-wrote and co-produced Taylor Swift’s album Folklore. He’s increased his footing in the pop space since then, as he worked with Ed Sheeran on his recently announced album, – (aka Subtract), as well.

Well before both of those projects, though, another beloved artist recognized and trusted him first. In 2012, Sharon Van Etten released Tramp, a well-received album that was Dessner’s first as a producer (he performed various instruments on most of the tracks, too). The album celebrates its tenth anniversary this year and Dessner marked the occasion on social media.

He wrote on Instagram, “Tramp was the first record I produced — it remains so special to me and I’m deeply grateful to my dear friend @sharonvanhalen for trusting me on her journey and playing such an important part in mine. There is a deluxe anniversary edition of Tramp out that includes an unreleased song we made in my garage in Brooklyn back then, ‘This Is Too Right’. If you haven’t heard this record it’s essential listening.”

Van Etten also noted of Dessner in a statement, “Aaron Dessner took a chance on me after I messaged him with a fury of demos. He could see through the hiss and crappy vocals on my GarageBand demos, and that I had something to say. He gave me the confidence to be loud and to scream my rage and feel founded and justified in my own pain. He gave me more tools to find catharsis in my work. I have carried that with me ever since.”

Listen to “This Is Too Right” below.

Tramp (Anniversary Edition) is out now via Jagjaguwar. Find more information here.

Drake is not one to miss an opportunity to lay on the charm. This past weekend, a group of ladies noticed the “Rich Flex” rapper while dining in a restaurant. Drake caught wind of the fans, and made his way over to their table.

In a clip captured by one of the fans, and later shared to her Instagram Story, Drake is heard saying, “What’s up, girly?” to the fan’s mother. Shortly after, he faces the camera and sticks out his tongue, while motioning his hands.

The clip on the story is captioned with “Did Drake just say ‘wasss up girlie’ to my mom?”

With several hits under his belt, Drake is one of the most easily recognizable faces in the rap game. Though recently, he shocked several fans after a clip of a conversation with Lil Yachty suggested that he may make “a graceful exit” in the near future.

In the full interview, he noted that his retirement wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

“I’m not ready now, but to gracefully continue making projects that are extremely, like, interesting and hopefully cherished by people,” he said. “And then to find the right time to say like, ‘I can’t wait to see what the next generation does.”

Find the clip above.

Kate Winslet has already mastered the art of holding her breath underwater for much too long and excessively vaping, so it’s about time she settles for a more regal role that doesn’t require her to endanger herself.

Winslet will star in The Palace, an upcoming HBO Max series from Will Tracy. While you might not recognize the name, Tracy has written for Last Week Tonight With John Oliver before joining Succession in 2019, so you’ve probably heard at least some of his jokes before. The series will be directed by Stephen Fears and Jessica Hobbs.

Last month, HBO released a first look at the series, and though many details have been released, here is what we know so far:

Plot

HBO has not released a ton of information about The Palace, though we know that it takes place over one year through the eyes of an authoritarian regime. HBO CEO Casey Bloys recently revealed that he had seen an early cut of the series, and Winslet’s performance is a standout. “If the U.S. could make her a national treasure I would like to do that,” He said last week, per Deadline. “I hink she’s great and the dailies I’ve seen of the show are fantastic.” Are we surprised that she is so dedicated?!

Cast

Winslet will star alongside Hugh Grant, who recently had a quick cameo in Glass Onion. The two will reunite after working together back in 1995’s Sense and Sensibility, though it’s hard to say if anything Grant does will top his performance in Paddington 2. He can try, though. Also slated to star is Andrea Riseborough, who made headlines for her strangely controversial Academy Award nomination, along with Matthias Schoenaerts, Guillaume Gallienne, and Martha Plimpton.

Release Date

While we don’t have an official release date for the series, filming began early last month in Austria and will likely continue throughout the summer. The series probably won’t debut until late 2023, or early 2024, when everything else is also vying for your attention.

(Via Collider)

Despite being over 20 years old, the 1992 coming-of-age crime drama Juice continues to be an inspiration for hip-hop artists to this day. Considered to be one of the first hip-hop films alongside Boyz N The Hood and New Jack City, as well as the acting debut of one Tupac Shakur, Juice‘s imagery, narrative, and soundtrack, have influenced a number of rap acts as well as the culture overall.

Case in point: In order to promote his new album that drops this week, DJ Drama reproduced one of the film’s most recognizable scenes with one of its actual actors: Queen Latifah. Latifah reprises her role from the film as Drama himself steps into Omar Epps’ role of Q as the DJ stands in line to audition to play at a local club, the Ruff House. The Queen, meanwhile, hasn’t aged a day: Black well and truly does not crack.

The album is called I’m Really Like That — a feature that he and the Queen sneak into the remixed dialogue from the scene — but for now, that’s all the information we have so far. Over on Genius there are a few possibilities for tracks that could appear, including ones with appearances from 42 Dugg, Doe Boy, Freddie Gibbs, Gucci Mane, Lil Uzi Vert, Roddy Ricch, and Tyler The Creator, but for now, we’ll just have to wait to see if Drama continues the Juice theme or taps any other classic hip-hop films for future announcements.

I’m Really Like That is due 3/31 via Generation Now and Atlantic Records.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Just days after sharing his heartbreaking new single “Eyes Closed,” Ed Sheeran has shared a live clip of him performing the song.

Joined by Aaron Dessner of The National (who produced Sheeran’s upcoming album –, aka Subtract) on piano, as well as a string orchestra, Sheeran sings at the microphone with his guitar, delivering a stripped-back account of loss and grief. As Sheeran and crew perform in a warehouse, it is easy to visualize the heartache and loneliness that he encapsulates in the song.

Upon the release of the song, Sheeran revealed that he wrote “Eyes Closed” rather quickly after experiencing the loss of a close friend.

“This song is about losing someone, feeling like every time you go out and you expect to just bump into them, and everything just reminds you of them and the things you did together,” Sheeran said in a statement. “You sorta have to take yourself out of reality sometimes to numb the pain of loss, but certain things just bring you right back into it.”

Check out the performance of “Eyes Closed (Piano and Strings Version)” above.

– is out 5/5 via Atlantic. Find more information here.

Ed Sheeran is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Luka Doncic and the Dallas Mavericks dropped their fourth straight game on Sunday in a loss to the Hornets — their second straight loss to Charlotte. With the loss, Dallas is now a full game out of the play-in in the West, sitting in 11th behind the Oklahoma City Thunder, who came back from double digits down to Portland to beat the Blazers on Sunday night.

With just seven games left in the season, time is running out on the Mavs to make a push for the postseason, but their task figured to be even more difficult than expected on Monday night in Indiana after Luka Doncic picked up his 16th technical of the season in the loss to the Hornets, triggering an automatic one-game suspension. After the game, the crew chief from the game explained that Doncic had directed profanity at an official protesting a no-call — which they looked at and confirmed was the correct decision after the game.

Given those comments from the officials, it seemed Doncic’s technical would stand and he would have to serve his suspension on Monday, but the league announced on Monday morning it was rescinding the technical.

That means Doncic will be eligible to play on Monday night in Indiana, rather than having to serve a suspension for picking up his 16th T of the season. There is a fair question of why the technical was rescinded given the explanation of the officials after the game in Charlotte on Sunday, as plenty of players will be wondering if they too can get their T’s taken away for cussing out the refs. Among those is Draymond Green, who couldn’t help but point out how this was funny a week after he served his suspension for a 16th T that was not rescinded.

Doncic’s propensity to get on the officials has become a defining trait of his game, and as such that 16th T and a suspension later this season is unquestionably still in play.

We rank a lot of things around here on Uproxx Life — from jarred marinara to methods of cooking hot dogs and bacon. We’re just trying to make your lives more enjoyable, is all (bad mac & cheese can ruin an afternoon). And now, Despite it having rained for approximately the last 741 days here in California, it’s technically Spring.

Spring theoretically brings warmer weather and warmer weather brings grilling season. You see where I’m going with this? That’s right, I’m here to rank some barbecue sauces.

Ah, but hold your horses, cowboy. If you know anything about the internet, you know that expressing opinions about anything related to “barbecue” (and God help you if you ever refer to “grilling” as “barbecue”) is tantamount to breaking a whiskey bottle over a bar at a crowded saloon and telling the assembled cowpokes that you’re off to go pleasure their mothers unless any of them are man enough to stop you.

Please, fellas, don’t hurt me. I’m just trying to present this here offering to the Sheriff of #Content so that he’ll release my family.

Barbecue is so polarizing partly because there are so many different varieties of barbecue and sauce, and most of them are intensely regional. In terms of sauce, there’s everything from Kansas City-style (molasses, brown sugar), Carolina Gold (mustard-based), “Alabama White” (mayo-based), Lexington Dip (vinegar, red pepper, ketchup), St. Louis (sorta like Kansas City but without smoke), Texas-style (uh… disputed), and… probably about 20 more, depending on who you ask (don’t ask Kevin, you’ll be stuck there 20 minutes).

What We Included:

The sauces you can find at the grocery are largely Kansas City-style, but with about a thousand variations (sugar-free, no sugar added, spicy, bourbon, etc., etc). Meanwhile, more and more labels are branching out into other styles like Carolina Gold and others. That raised the question of what was fair for a test. I didn’t want to be the arbiter of “what’s better, Kansas City or Memphis?” and I had no interest in pitting 12 different varieties of Bullseye or Baby Ray’s against each other.

For this test, I tried to keep the parameters as simple as possible. If the label said “original,” “classic,” or simply “barbecue sauce,” I included it. If it had spice levels, I tried to find a mild or medium. Most other variations I left out. I was trying to compare flagship sauces to flagship sauces, as best as I could. If I left out your favorite, please remember that I did it specifically to spite you, personally.

I ended up with 25 sauces, which does feel like it’s approaching the upper limit of the number of sauces one can taste in a single sitting without getting molasses fever or the sugar leg or whatever. Yes, I made those up, but tasting this many versions of a very similar thing does do strange things to one’s palate.

Methodology:

The matter of whether a barbecue sauce should have smoke flavor or leave that to the meat, along with how sweet it should be, are all highly disputed. There were definitely sauces in this sample that tasted like they were trying to mimic meat flavor and I downgraded them accordingly. There is certainly a difference between a sauce that tastes good and a sauce that tastes good on meat. That being said, there are so many different uses for barbecue sauces, even beyond grilling and barbecuing (I like it on my chicken McNuggets too) that I couldn’t possibly account for them all in a single, fair test. Even speaking solely logistically, I couldn’t taste 25 different sauces on three or four different meats without dying of meat exhaustion halfway through (RIP to your mom, I hear meat exhaustion is how she went, too).

Instead, I went with the old standby for these tests: the squirt and spoon method. I tasted them all plain with a spoon, which certainly has some flaws, but ultimately still seems like the fairest way to do things.

I had my brother-in-law join me for the tasting, both to have another perspective and because he’s a bald guy, so when he starts to sweat from spicy food it’s really noticeable. During our hot sauce test, he had a tea towel wrapped around his head by the end.

The Competitors:

• 365 Original BBQ
• Kinder’s Zero Sugar
• Noh Hawaiian BBQ
• Rufus Teague
• Sweet Baby Ray’s No Sugar Added
• Red Tale Ale
• Best Damn BBQ Sauce (Sweet Lady Love)
• G Hughes Sugar Free Original
• Everett & Jones Super Q
• KC Masterpiece American Original
• Sonoma Ranchers Original
• Charboys Sweet and Tangy
• Noble Made Classic Barbecue
• Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce
• Organicville Original BBQ Sauce
• Trader Joe’s Organic Kansas City Style
• Bull’s Eye Barbecue
• Jack Daniel’s Original BBQ Sauce
• Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce
• Rib Rack BBQ
• Primal Kitchen Classic Organic Unsweetened
• Kinder’s Organic Mild
• Lillie’s Smoky Barbeque Sauce
• Lou Biere Mild BBQ
• Sprouts Organic Bourbon BBQ

The Ranking:

25. Noble Made Classic BBQ (Sample 13)

First Two Ingredients: Water, Apple Cider Vinegar

Price: $9.49 for 13 oz at Whole Foods.

Original Notes:

This one is very red. It has a very apple sauce-esque purée texture, which looks like it’s separating. On the nose, it smells like marinara, with maybe just a hint of brown sugar in there?

Tasting it, this is definitely one of the no sugar added ones. It’s all tomatoes and vinegar. It’s not bad, but definitely hard to compare this to the sweeter ones.

Rating: 3.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes:

Tart!!! Vinegar like crazy. Just apple cider vinegar. Could see it on ribs over white rice.

Bottom Line: This seems like a “healthy” choice sauce for people watching their sugars and whatnot. I did not particularly enjoy the taste, smell, or texture.

24. Primal Kitchen Organic Unsweetened Classic BBQ Sauce (Sample 21)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Organic Crushed Tomatoes, Organic Balsamic Vinegar.

Price: $6.69 for 8.5 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is also red and very apple saucy, and is separating. On the nose, this one smells like cinnamon, clove, and maybe cardamom. It reminds me a little of Moroccan tagine. Definitely a no-sugar option. I would call this… interesting. It reminds me of Morroccan food, but not really barbecue.

Rating: 3.75

Brother In Law’s Notes: Key lime, Citrus, spice. Forward spice and vinegar finish. All spice.

Bottom Line:

My brother-in-law rated this his fifth favorite sauce, proving that there’s no accounting for taste. It has coriander, cumin, and cinnamon in it, which would account for the Moroccan tagine flavor. It was way too out there for me, I’d say it’s strictly for the Keto weirdos.

23. (Sample 3) Noh’s Hawaiian Bar-B-Q Sauce

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Brown Sugar, Sugar.

Price: $6.89 for 20 oz at Von’s.

Original Notes:

This one is dark brown and more thick and gloppy, looks more like apple sauce. I think I even SMELL apples, though that could just be my eyes playing tricks on me. And of course lots of tomato. Yeah, this one kind of tastes like sweeter apple sauce to me. It’s missing something.

Rating: 4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sweet Tomato forward. Tomato paste.

Bottom Line:

This Hawaiian-style sauce simultaneously suffers a bit from being an outlier and lacks anything that would truly distinguish it. It’s tomato-forward and has a lot of the same ingredients as the previous sauce, and is pretty sweet and mildly smoky, but not as sweet or smoky as others.

22. Char Boys Smokey & Tangy BBQ Sauce (Sample 12)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Light Corn Syrup, Molasses.

Price: $9.99 for 18 oz. on Amazon.

Original Notes:

This one is a brown purée. On the nose I get brown sugar and tomato paste, it smells very sweet. On the tongue, it’s a little thin. It’s also definitely sort of one-note sweet, though not necessarily in a bad way. This one doesn’t have a lot going on, but it’s fine.

Rating: 4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Charred cherries, good.

Bottom Line:

My brother-in-law had this ranked third. To mean it blended into the great amorphous middle section of sauces that weren’t terrible, just sort of shrug-worthy.

21. Sonoma Ranchers Original (Sample 11)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Brown Sugar, Tomato Paste.

Price: N/A

Original Notes:

This one is brown and on the looser side. The nose reminds me of Worcestershire sauce, so vinegar/soy/maybe a hint of fishy funk and black pepper. Tasting it, it reminds me of A1 steak sauce, which I’ve never especially loved.

Yep, this tastes just like A1, with some little chunks in it. Eh.

Rating: 4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Heavy garlic and grilled tomato with brown sugar. Like it.

Bottom Line:

If you like A1 steak sauce you’ll probably like this one. I don’t especially like that particular variety of tang.

20. Lillie’s Smoky Barbeque Sauce (Sample 23)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Sauce, Brown Sugar, Apple Cider Vinegar.

Price: $6.39 for 21 oz. at Target.

Original Notes:

This sauce is looser and reddish in color, with pepper flecks. Tomato-orange vinegar on the nose. This one is definitely an outlier, it tastes like an orange peppery stir fry sauce. I don’t hate it but it reads more like marinade than barbecue sauce to me.

Rating: 4.1/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Orange Julius. Love it. Sweet. Do it again.

Bottom Line:

This one was heavy on fruit juice followed by black pepper, which to my palate seemed more like a Mongolian BBQ stir fry kind of sauce. Supposedly it’s “Memphis-style.” For me, it didn’t really rate compared to the brown sauces, but it might’ve just been too weird.

19. Best Damn BBQ Sauce — Sweet Lady Love (Sample 7)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Sugar, Tomato Paste.

Price: $6.99 for 20 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is more reddish and syrupy and looks like fast food sweet-and-sour sauce. This one is hard to get anything on the nose, maybe a little vinegar and tomato? It’s barely there. On the tongue it tastes like… orange chicken. Not in a bad way. Just a very specific way. This seems like it’d make a good McNugget sauce.

Rating: 4.4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Balanced spice. Hint of Hawaiian. Sweet. Orange. Great for a fast food chain.

Bottom Line:

We both got orange from this one, which actually seems to come from pineapple juice and tamarind. More like a tropical fruity option, so it ended up being a bit of an outlier here.

18. Red Tail Ale Original Tangy BBQ Sauce (Sample 6)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Concentrate, Evaporated Cane Juice, and Mustard.

Price: N/A

Original Notes:

This one is one of the darkest, sort of like a grittier ketchup in texture. On the nose, I get molasses, black pepper, and brown sugar, in that order. This one tastes heavy on the fake smoke, with little chunks. I feel like it’s trying to taste like the meat it’s supposed to go on.

Rating: 4.4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Chunky, more burned oak barrel. Molasses. Not a repeater. Charred.

Bottom Line:

If you like your sauce super smoky, this is the one for you. It was too much smoke flavor for me.

17. Ray’s No Sugar Added Original Barbecue Sauce (Sample 5)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Tomato Paste, Distilled Vinegar.

Price: $3.49 for 18 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is a thick, very homogenous pile, like brown ketchup. The nose is molasses forward, with undertones of tomato paste and black pepper. On the palate this one is very tomatoey and feels like it lacks some complexity.

Rating: 4.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Slight smoke. Tomato bisque. Good.

Bottom Line:

With less sugar, there was more room for tomato flavor. The sweetness comes from allulose, “a low-calorie epimer of the monosaccharide sugar fructose, used by some major commercial food and beverage manufacturers as a low-calorie sweetener.”

It did better than I expected the “no sugar added” varieties to do, though not nearly as well as some other no sugar added labels.

16. Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce (Sample 14)

First Three Ingredients: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Tomato Puree, Vinegar.

Price: $1.72 for 18 oz. at Walmart.

Original Notes: Thick, brown, homogenous. On the nose, it’s a smoke-molasses bomb, with some black pepper creeping in. On the palate, this didn’t taste at all like I was expecting from the nose. It’s very A1/Worcestershire flavor, but also sweet.

Rating: 4.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Very sweet. Sangria. Did it have a vanilla finish?

Bottom Line:

This one was weirdly complex tasting, though mostly in a cheap processed kind of way.

15. Organicville Original BBQ Sauce (Sample 15)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Organic Agave Nectar, and Organic Tomato Paste.

Price: $4.75 for 14 oz. at Smart & Final.

Original Notes:

This one is brown and pretty thin. On the nose, I get tomato paste and vinegar — standard, but more pronounced here. On the palate, this one is tomato heavy and only medium-sweet, with just a bit of black pepper. Comes on decent but kind of fades into the background without lingering.

Rating: 4.6/10

Brother In Law’s Notes:

Looking for spice that didn’t come. Okay. Apricot? Blah.

Bottom Line:

This one just felt like it lacked identity. The flavors were timid. Part of the fun of a blind taste test is that cheap craft and “fancy” agave nectar sauce can wind up with almost the same ratings.

14. KC Masterpiece Barbecue Sauce (Sample 10)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and Molasses.

Price: $1.89 for 18 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is dark and soy saucey, and very homogenous. Fruity-sweet-vinegar on the nose, almost like jelly. On the palate, I get… grape jelly and gatorade plus smoke. Fig! Figs with clove and cinnamon. Actually pretty spicy/peppery on the back end. This one is different, I’m having a hard time knowing how to feel about it.

Rating: 4.6/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Great balance. Grape jelly. Smoke. FIG!!!

Bottom Line:

This is one of those OG sauces I would’ve had in my fridge as a kid. It was surprisingly complex for such an old-school sauce, and both my brother-in-law and I went back a few times to try to figure out what we were tasting. Neither of us had it in our top picks though.

13. G. Hughes Sugar-Free Original BBQ Sauce (Sample 8)

First Three Ingredients: Vine Ripened Tomatoes, Cider Vinegar, and Modified Corn Starch.

Price: $5.30 for 18 oz from Smart & Final.

Original Notes:

This one is red and syrupy with some chunks, like sweet chili sauce or sweet and sour sauce. On the nose, I’m getting oranges, pears… maybe canned peaches? On the palate, this is very fruity, with either honey or brown sugar. I like this better than the other Asian sweet and sour tasting one so far.

Rating: 4.75/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Chunks of onion. Definitely Hawaiian flavors. Canned peaches.

Bottom Line:

This one is sweetened with Sucralose, aka Splenda. It’s great if you like the flavor of canned peaches. Otherwise, meh.

12. Rib Rack BBQ Sauce (Sample 20)

First Three Ingredients: Brown Sugar, Tomato Puree, and Distilled Vinegar.

Price: $6.49 for 19 oz from Sprouts.

Original Notes:

Thick, brown, and homogenous. Heavy brown sugar, tomato paste, and molasses on the nose. This tastes ketchupy and cheap. It’s definitely lacking in complexity compared to a lot of them, kind of a sugar bomb.

Rating: 4.75/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Heavy molasses. Cherry finish. Mid-spice that ends. Good.

Bottom Line:

This tasted how I imagined most grocery store barbecue sauce would taste — sugary and cheap.

11. Bull’s Eye BBQ Sauce (Sample 17)

First Three Ingredients: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Tomato Puree, and Vinegar.

Price: $1.87 for 10.7 oz. from Walmart.

Original Notes:

Reddish brown and medium thick and homogenous-looking. I’m getting mostly tomato paste and apple cider vinegar on the nose. Those flavors are thinner on the tongue, now I’m getting smoke and pepper, with a medium spice level. There’s an earthy spice in there that I don’t know how to define, maybe like turmeric. It didn’t taste the way I expected it to but it’s growing on me. Making me sweat.

Rating: 4.75/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Smokey black pepper nose. Orange soda flavor. Prunes? Good vinegar balance. Good.

Bottom Line:

This one was definitely in my refrigerator growing up. Of course, the first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, I think that was a food group back then. It was spicier than I remembered and otherwise fine-not-great.

10. Sprouts Organic Bourbon BBQ Sauce (Sample 25)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Organic Tomato Paste, Organic Sugar.

Price: $3.99 for 19 oz from Sprouts.

Original Notes:

This one is reddish and is separating a lot. Looks and smells very ketchupy. Tastes like sweet ketchup with a healthy kick of black pepper.

Rating: 4.8/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sweet and sour. Pineapple and sweet chili. Canned Tomato soup finish. Good.

Bottom Line:

Our notes were sort of all over the place for this one, which tends to happen when you taste 25 barbecue sauces in a sitting. However, we both found it overly tomatoey in a cheap-tasting way. Neither of us got bourbon at all.

9. Rufus Teague (Sample 4)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Sugar, Brown Sugar.

Price: $7.49 for 15.25 oz from RufusTeague.

Original Notes:

Very dark brown, very vinegar-forward on the nose, with pepper and smoke sneaking in there. On the palate, this one definitely has a soy flavor to it, plus a vinegar tang and a moderate amount of spice. Something fruity in there as well, like a pear flavor. This one feels like it would make good beef short rib sauce. Lots of heat and pepper on the back end.

Rating: 5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sriracha spice. Garlic. Heavy spice at the end. Great. Try this one again.

Bottom Line:

We both mostly liked this one, which has a few “unusual” ingredients, like Tamari soy sauce and chipotle pepper. My brother-in-law had it ranked third. It was definitely spicy and complex, and at the very least comes in one of the cooler bottles.

8. Jack Daniel’s Original BBQ Sauce (Sample 18)

First Three Ingredients: Cane Sugar, Water, Apple Cider Vinegar.

Price: $4.73 for 19.5 oz. from WalMart.

Original Notes:

Dark brown and on the thinner side, very homogenous. Sort of syrupy. This one smells the way I imagine store-bought bbq sauce would. Molasses and brown sugar. On the palate, sugar city! Sheesh, that’s like hummingbird feed. Maybe a dark cherry flavor in there? Too sweet for my blood, but good.

Rating: 5/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Rich dark cherry. Very good. Zinfandel. #1 with a bullet. Kool-Aid.

Bottom Line:

This one is great if you like a really sweet sauce. I have a lower sugar limit, though I still thought it was pretty good. If you asked me to describe the dominant flavors of Jack Daniels, I would also say cherry coke, so it clearly does a good job tasting like what it’s supposed to. My brother-in-law’s number one.

7. 365 Original BBQ (Sample 1)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Brown Sugar, Molasses.

Price: $1.89 for 19.5 oz. from Whole Foods.

Original Notes:

Reddish with some speckles, looks like sweet and sour sauce. Smells like straight smoke on the nose. On the tongue, it’s mostly brown sugar and black pepper, maybe some orange peel. Pretty solid middle-of-the-road option.

Rating: 5/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sweet. Pineapple and golden raisins. Reddish color. Seems Hawaiian. Solid. Revisit.

Bottom Line:

This one definitely has a more sweet-and-sour sauce character to it. Otherwise, it’s fine but not particularly memorable.

6. Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce (Sample 19)

First Three Ingredients: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Distilled Vinegar, and Tomato Paste.

Price: $2.39 for 18 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

Very homogenous and brown. Can barely smell this one at all, just a little tomato paste/molasses. This is pretty sweet, not super smoky with just a hint of pepper. Very cheap tasting but good. Reminds me of McDonald’s BBQ sauce (which is my favorite nugget dip).

Rating: 5.35/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Lemon peel. Pepper. Balanced sweetness.

Bottom Line:

This is an OG and I usually have a bottle of it laying around the house. It’s sort of the cheap, processed-tasting thing you know.

5. Loubier Mild BBQ Sauce — Mild (Sample 24)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Water, Brown Sugar.

Price: $7.49 for 14.8 oz. on Instacart.

Original Notes:

Brown and a little loose, starting to separate a little. Brown sugar and tomato paste on the nose, in that order. This is thin and sweet, but has a nice umami roundness to it, like there’s maybe just a hint of soy. Solid.

Rating: 5.45/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Dr. Pepper. Carrots? Good. Minimal smoke. Bitter. Very good.

Bottom Line:

My brother-in-law had this as his number two, but we both liked it. It has Worcestershire, tamarind, and chili powder in there, which would account for the complexity.

4. Trader Joe’s Organic Kansas City-Style Barbecue Sauce (Sample 16)

First Three Ingredients: Organic Tomato Puree, Organic Cane Sugar, and Organic Brown Sugar.

Price: $2.99 for 19 oz at Trader Joe’s.

Original Notes:

This one is gloppy and starting to separate, a darker brown and reddish color. Tomatoes and vinegar on the nose, very bright. On the palate, it’s sort of bright and sweet, leaving the smoke flavor to the meat. It’s very brown sugar-forward and sweet, but I like it. A little black pepper hits you in the throat on the finish. I went back for more, for whatever that’s worth.

Rating: 5.8/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Orange peel. Balanced smoke. Try again.

Bottom Line:

Most of these sauces were really similar and I was splitting hairs to try to rank them — as you can tell by the decimal-heavy rankings I was handing out. This is where we start getting into the “noticeably a little better” section of the rankings.

3. Everett & Jones Super Q Barbeque Sauce (Sample 9)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Tomato Paste, Brown Sugar.

Price: $6.49 for 18 oz. at Von’s.

Original Notes:

This one is darker and soy-saucy-looking, with a slight reddish tint. Looks like a watery purée. On the nose, very smokey, with some molasses and black pepper. The smell reminds me of brisket. On the nose, it’s that same brisket essence plus sweet and heavy spice on the back end. Maybe the heaviest on the black pepper so far. This sauce is very much for beef.

I don’t think I would use this on pork. Chicken? Yes.

Rating: 6/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Blackberry. Long wait for the spice, but it comes. Molasses. Heavy black pepper.

Bottom Line:

I know I said I wasn’t going to reward the sauces that tried to taste like the meat, but this one tasted exactly like brisket and I couldn’t help liking it.

2. Kinder’s Zero Sugar BBQ Sauce — Original (Sample 2)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Allulose, Natural Smoke Flavor.

Price: $8.49 for 17.5 oz at Von’s.

Original Notes:

This one is a reddish brown, sort of a loose syrup texture. Something deeper and umami on the nose, like soy sauce in addition to the smoke. This one is complex and spicy, I’m getting pepper and chili in addition to the sweet. Texture is maybe a smidge too watery, but very tasty, if you want a spicier option.

Rating: 6.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Spicy. Grape jelly. And Kool-Aid. Spice forward.

Bottom Line:

I don’t think I’ve ever had Kinder before so I didn’t expect to have it this high, let alone the fake sugar version. The only thing that jumps out at me on the ingredients list is roasted garlic and chipotle, which is pretty much my go-to combo for rib sauce, which may explain some things. My brother-in-law didn’t have it in his top five.

1. Kinder’s Organic BBC Sauce – Mild (Sample 22)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Purée, Brown Sugar, Sugar.

Price: $2.78 for 20.5 oz at WalMart.

Original Notes:

This one brown is thin, homogenous, and… weirdly hard to get on a spoon. Is it sticking to the cutting board? I don’t know. Super smoky and peppery on the nose. On the tongue, it’s mostly brown sugar and molasses that balances out all the smoke and pepper smell. This is very traditional and definitely very sweet, but the balance feels just right.

Rating: 6.6

Brother In Law’s Notes: Pomegranates. Really good.

Bottom Line:

I was shocked that two Kinder labels ended up in my top two, since other than seeing the bottles, I don’t believe I’ve ever had it before. This one also doesn’t have roasted garlic and chipotle in the ingredients, which the no-sugar version did, so my theory there is all shot to hell.

As you can tell by the final rating, none of these really sent me over the moon. Most were average, with a couple slightly above average.

Addendum:

My Brother In Law’s Top Five:

1. Jack Daniel’s
2. Loubier
3. Rufus Teague
4. CharBoy’s
5. Primal Kitchen Classic