The Succession Report Card is a weekly recap feature where we attempt to assign grades to the important people, things, and themes from each episode of Succession. The grades are entirely subjective and the criteria for scoring will change from week to week and occasionally mid-week. Someone might get detention. It’ll probably be Roman.
SEASON 4, EPISODE 3 – “Connor’s Wedding”
Logan
The tricky thing about naming your show Succession is that the simple act of doing it takes a big old elephant and plops it into a room and forces people to address it at some point. The question has been lingering there from Day One: What happens when Logan Roy — titan of industry, domineering leader, the sun around whom the world of this show orbits — is no longer in charge? We’ve watched the kids jockey for position and favor for over 30 episodes now, fighting with and against each other to carve out a slice of this universe for themselves, whether it’s a place in the family business or their own stupid little pirate ship, or both or neither. There was a lot of flailing there. But the first two episodes of this season made something abundantly clear: Logan Roy was never going to fade away and allow his children, or anyone else, to take over. He just was never wired like that. He needs the action and the control and everything that goes with it. He was about to sell his company for many billions of dollars and, instead of looking at brochures for peaceful little islands he could buy and retire to for a life of hammocks and umbrella drinks, he was gearing up to take ATN in a new and aggressive direction. The man would not and could not stop.
And so… yeah. There it is. The show named Succession had a character who would never willingly hand things over, which really left only one other option. It was kind of obvious, in hindsight, even if we at home were a little susceptible to falling into the trap the Roy children have been stuck in for many years, where Logan Roy seemed almost invincible, like he could will off death just by force of personality. But… nope. Not how it works. The book ends for everybody at some point, whether the final chapter is finished or not. Sometimes it happens on an airplane en route to Sweden. Life is funny like that.
Anyway, Logan gets an F for this particular episode for two primary reasons:
- He was skipping one son’s wedding entirely and strong-arming another son into doing his dirty work with a loyal longtime employee who he knew that son had a weird and complicated relationship with, which is both just massively shitty and also classic Logan Roy
- I wanted to talk about him first and the way I’ve structured these posts kind of tied my hands a little
Things are going to get a little weird going forward. I’m excited.
GRADE: F
MUST IMPROVE: Staying alive
Kerry
Things are about to get very real and not-fun for Kerry, a woman whose entire influence in the company stemmed from her proximity to Logan. She wasn’t a wife, so she won’t get the respect that comes with that. Their… whatever it was (fling?) wasn’t even really official. She was calling herself “Logan’s friend, assistant, and advisor” just a little bit ago. And whatever any of that was is just over now. As are her dreams of being an anchor on ATN. She’s going to get laughed and/or shuffled out of many important rooms. She might fall below Greg on the totem pole. Think about how much that one will sting.
Things are not great for Kerry. I didn’t even mention the thing where, like, her boyfriend died. That happened, too.
GRADE: F
MUST IMPROVE: Long-term planning
Boats
It has always been madness to me that people go out on boat rides to nowhere for entertainment. Cruises, yes, of course, but also things like this, where you do a whole wedding and reception on the open water. Why? What’s the goal here? What are we doing?
Even if your idea is to be able to look out and see the water, you can get about 80 percent of that with a beachfront resort or a river deck or a beautiful estate on a lake. And in exchange for giving up that 20 percent, you’re not trapping hundreds of people on a floating prison they can’t escape from until it docks again. What if someone gets a violent stomach bug? What if someone’s babysitter has to leave and they need to get home to the kids? What if the boat hits a rock and sinks? You’ve seen Titanic. You know the risks here.
Come on. Think this through.
GRADE: F
MUST IMPROVE: Proximity to dry land
Tom
Tom is in an interesting spot here. Characters on this show tend to fall into two categories: family, people who get a seat at the table due to blood or marriage; and business, people who scratch and claw their way to the table through grit and determination and maneuvering. Tom is kind of neither now. The pending divorce probably leaves him out of the loop with Shiv taking a larger role, and he doesn’t really fit with the Karls and Franks because he never earned it the same way they did. It was really telling when he said the thing about losing his protector. He has a lot of stuff flashing in front of his eyes right now. None of it is too good.
Tom got pretty close to the sun as this show played out. But a funny thing happens when you get too close to the sun.
GRADE: D
MUST IMPROVE: I think I’ve made this point before but it says so much about Tom’s place in this world that his own wife has him saved in her phone as “Tom Wambsgans,” as though there might be another Tom she knows who is more notable and does not need to be identified by last name
Greg
I am legitimately excited to see where things go for this lanky bottom-feeder. He hitched his wagon to Logan and Tom, but now that’s on a fast track to nowhere. He doesn’t have any skills, really. It’s not like he’s going to stand on his own, right? I can’t see that happening. Does he just try to quietly slide back into the room with the other kids and hope no one notices? Maybe latch onto Kendall or Shiv and start telling them how great and smart they are in the hopes they let him keep having access to this world? I mean, he’s not in the will, right? Where does Greg go from here?
We are about to see him flap around in the breeze like one of those tall balloons outside a car dealership. It’s thrilling to me.
GRADE: D
MUST IMPROVE: I honestly do not even know where to begin
Kendall
Kendall can’t help himself. He can only ever see the huge thing. Some of that is mania, how he’ll get going and start spitballing ideas and talk himself into trying to reinvent the whole news industry on the fly, which he is extremely not equipped to do. But sometimes he has a point. He’s right about all of this going in all of the memoirs, about how the things they did in that moment will always be the things they did in that moment, if only because Logan was that huge of a figure that people will want to know. They’re going to have to answer so many questions and do so many interviews and it’s going to suck a lot, and Kendall with all his grandiosity was the first one to notice that.
Imagine if he had been the one to make the statement to the press. God, that would have been a disaster. I kind of want to see it now.
GRADE: D
MUST IMPROVE: It’s understandable now but he’s going to need to cut back on staring into space at some point
Shiv
Shiv is a big ball of unearned confidence who thinks she’s smarter than she is on account of the other members of her family being goofs who make her look good through their failures, but a couple things are worth noting here:
- She was the one who went out to be the face of tough situations two times this episode, first when she was the “wedding grinch” and then again to give the family’s statement to the press, which says something about how the people in her life perceive her that they don’t see in, like, Kendall or Roman
- Sarah Snook is a terrific actress
That second thing breaks the fourth wall of this Report Card a little, the thing where I usually just discuss the characters as though they’re real people and temporarily ignore the thing where this is all a work of fiction filled with actors and actresses, but still, needed to be said.
GRADE: D
MUST IMPROVE: Having anyone in her life who can comfort her a little at a time like this
Roman
What’s weird about Roman is that he is very much a little boy — watch him rocking back and forth on the floor like he is a child who just had a nightmare, listen to him refuse to accept reality in the hopes that someone will tell him everything is okay — but he’s also the one who has grown the most over the course of the show. He has actual ideas and actual humanity, even if he undercuts himself with jokes about jizz or whatever. He could easily become the most capable of the children, given a little time and space.
Which is what makes that message he left for Logan so sad. The first time this kid showed any real backbone, the first time he stood up for himself in the face of authority, and now he’s going to spend the rest of his life wondering if the last thing his father heard him say — if the thing that killed his father, maybe, if he wants to get really dark with his thoughts — was him calling the guy the C-word.
That’s gonna come up in therapy.
GRADE: C
MUST IMPROVE: Timing
Gerri
Well…
- Kind of got fired (not ideal)
- On a boat (see above)
- By a failson who has in the past sent her pictures of his penis (humiliating)
BUT
- Logan dying might actually save her job (if she wants it)
- She looked incredible in her fancy hat (I gasped a little)
Kind of averages out, I guess.
GRADE: C
MUST IMPROVE: Well now I want to see her wear fancy hats all the time, which isn’t really a workable situation
Matsson
It would be really funny if the entire next episode is just about Matsson reacting to this, like it opens as he gets the call that Logan died and then we follow him through the rest of his day. I’m weirdly more interested in that than most of what else is out there right now. This probably says a lot more about me than it does about the show.
GRADE: C
MUST IMPROVE: Closing deals before people die
Various Karls, Franks, and Karolinas
Really interesting to watch the dynamic there, where they sprung into action on the business stuff right away even as Logan was lying dead less than 20 feet away. I’m sure some of this was self-preservation (their jobs just got really strange and different) but I suspect part of it was just, like, what else do you do when you’re stuck on a plane with the still-warm corpse of your very famous boss? Draft a statement, apparently!
I do not care very much about the personal fates of most of the people on this show but I do want Karl to be okay. I love him.
GRADE: B
MUST IMPROVE: Job stability going forward
Connor, weirdly
ON ONE HAND: His dad died the night of his wedding on a plane to Sweden, which ruins the festivities a lot and really drives home the thing where there was no universe where Logan was going to show up at this thing, even for a second
ON THE OTHER HAND: He’s… I don’t know. I want to say he’s free now. Logan was always this big weird shadow in his life and he never knew how to deal with it. There are scars there. You saw him yelling about the cake. This might finally be the Band-Aid removal he needs to become normal, or whatever version of normal he can aspire to. I root for this chump a little, even if I hate everything he is and stands for.
GRADE: B
MUST IMPROVE: Having one stupid thing for himself
Willa
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
RUN
GET AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE
GO
I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME
BUT IT IS
GRADE: A
MUST IMPROVE: Seizing opportunities
Weddings, usually
I make this point constantly but I’m going to make it again anyway: Weddings are a blast. Everyone drinks and dances and hoots and hollers for a night. Someone gets a little tipsy before they give a speech and it becomes a whole thing. Someone’s Nana does “The Electric Slide.” Bridemaids and groomsmen hook up after the reception in the coat room. Just a good time. Not this wedding, specifically, because of… everything I’ve mentioned so far here, but generally.
Take a minute this afternoon and think about all those poor people on the boat as word started sprinkling down about what happened. Think about where they go from there. Is the meal still served? Are they just gonna dock and have to hit a Wendy’s drive-thru in formal attire? I’m tempted to feel bad for them but they are coming out of this with a story they can tell for the rest of their lives. So… silver linings, I guess?
GRADE: A
MUST IMPROVE: I haven’t been to one in a while. Invite me to yours!
This episode of television
Hoo, buddy. A masterpiece. A straight-up clinic in acting and writing and pacing and directing. One of those hours of television where everything that happened before it clicks into place perfectly. All these characters are so specific and so shaded-in and everything they did felt almost exactly like what they would have done in this situation in a way that can make you forget they’re not real people. This one is going to stick with me for a while. Pretty good show we got here.
GRADE: A
MUST IMPROVE: I have no clue how you proceed from this hour of television but I’m looking forward to finding out