A Ton Of Cocaine Was Found Floating In The Mediterranean Sea, And The ‘Cocaine Shark’ Jokes Are Flying

Life is often stranger than fiction, but sometimes it imitates it. Cocaine Bear, about a grizzly high on Bolivian Marching Powder, was based (however loosely) on a true story. There’s already a “Meth Gator” film en route this summer, but if anyone wants to make another knockoff, have we got a story for you.

As per CNN, some two tons of cocaine — over $400 million worth — was found floating in the Mediterranean off the coast of Sicily. The drugs were found sealed in waterproof floating packages, and though it’s not yet known who it belongs to, it’s suspected that the consignment was left by a cargo ship to be picked up by traffickers.

“The identification and subsequent seizure of this quantity of drugs, one of the largest ever carried out in the national territory, likely prevented the drug from being recovered by criminals for subsequent illegal sale in the national territory, which would have yielded very high earnings,” read a statement from Italian police.

The officers who transported the drugs ashore were given air cover from multiple units, should they come under attack by those seeking it.

Honestly, that in itself would make for a pretty good movie. Others had another idea: about a shark having fun on blow.

Alas, and however improbably, that movie already exists but hasn’t yet been released.

In a way, there’s already been a coke shark movie, sort of.

Others thought about other aquatic critters that would be fun on blow.