I don’t know when the hell it happened, but there are an absolute shit ton of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups out right now. Seriously, it’s out of control. You’ve got cups with potato chips inside and cups with pretzels inside and cups with Reese’s cereal inside and big cups and thin cups and all sorts of things to change the ratio of peanut butter to chocolate (which was the absolute best thing about this candy in the first place). In 2016, an Uproxx article absolutely marveled at the idea of Reese’s cups with Reese’s Pieces inside and now that’s like real basic b*tch shit. There are dark Reese’s cups and “Chocolate Lovers” Reese’s cups and “Peanut Butter Lovers” cups and white chocolate and marshmallow top… it’s a lot. There are also organic and “plant-based” cups and — okay, seriously, who in the world is demanding all these varieties of Reese’s?
The rapid bloom of variety boggles my mind and we’re talking about my preferred dessert here. At least twice per week I will buy two cups, microwave them for 18 seconds, sprinkle some sea salt on top (how is there not a sea salt cup?), and eat them with a spoon like the famous epicure George Costanza. But I’m simply astounded by all the riffs on my favorite candy showing up at various stores (it’s never all of them at any one store, so some buyer is making a judgment call about which Reese’s flavors to give shelf space to). In fact, I’ve just spent 15 minutes of my one and only life on earth looking at the Reese’s website and there are also Peanut Brittle cups and Crunchy Cookie cups and Frankenstein cups, among others.*
*Okay, here’s my theory as to why Reese’s decided to flood the market with options: Their branding is really bold and clear. By gobbling up more shelf space, they’re also buying up ad impressions in the form of your eyeballs while you’re waiting in line at the grocer or pharmacist. Seriously, next time you’re at Walgreens look at the candy. The color block of five or six Reese’s varieties makes a statement, grabs the eye, and reminds you that maybe you want some candy and maybe that candy should be a new Reese’s flavor. In this sense, having more candy where people look for candy seems like a more effective use of money that any ad on TV or IG as those platforms grow increasingly health conscious.
Annnnyway, this whole mini-rant had been percolating in my for a few weeks, so when I saw a “Reese’s Creamy” and a “Reese’s Crunchy” at my local 7-11, I knew I had to take action by comparing them to the original. For what it’s worth, I tasted these blind and am happy to share that I got a lot of food writer points with my friends when I could tell the creamy from the original. Obviously, the Crunchy was the one with the nuts.
Check out the rest of my tasting notes and the ranking below:
3. Reese’s Creamy Cups
“This is thinner than the original, so it must be the creamy.”
The thing is, I don’t think anyone has ever thought that Original Reese’s cups weren’t creamy enough. That’s like a big selling point for the candy. But this version is certainly meltier and airy-er. Like the peanut butter filling is almost ready to slime right out of the cup when bitten. I don’t like that effect at all. You want a little bite with your Reese’s cup.
Having this melted goo slither out reminds you too keenly of all the stabilizers and preservatives that it takes to make this product shelf stable in the first place. In that sense, this ignites the Uncanny Valley of candy — making it harder for you to lie to yourself about what you’re eating and feeling somehow more distinctly unhealthy while not adding anything in flavor or texture.
BOTTOM LINE:
This feels like a totally superfluous product. Regular Reese’s are already creamy. These are just sort of weirdly… slithery.
2. Reese’s Crunchy Cups
“This makes my teeth hurt. It’s the crunchy but it must have more sugar.”
I was wrong. The crunchy actually has one gram less sugar. But if we’re wildly speculating, maybe that’s because the chopped peanuts take up space where the sugary peanut butter solution would have gone, thereby making the sugar level drop. And — ready for a deep candy conspiracy? — maybe the brand compensated with a little more sugar in the base mix? I’m not sure and am not about to, like, call Reese’s for a comment or something, but these did make my teeth hurt.
I eat a fair bit of candy and that doesn’t happen often. I find it offputting.
Regardless, the nuts are so small here that it pales in comparison to chunky peanut butter — my preferred PB — which typically has practically whole nuts inside. These little slivers don’t add much crunch and are just generally a little discordant with the whole Reese’s cup experience. If you’re going to put something inside my peanut butter cup make it some sort of other candy or confection so at least it offers a flavor contrast.
Bottom Line:
A half-assed attempt at crunch that somehow seems more saccharine. If you want crunch get the potato chip cups, which also hit that whole “salted cup” note that I mentioned earlier.
1. Reese’s Cups
“This is the original. It tastes like a Reese’s cup. No notes.”
The icon. And, just from a pure flavor, texture, and balance perspective, a far better peanut butter cup than the other two. It was the only one I took another bite of after the blindfolds came off.
Bottom Line:
Hands down better than these two new entrants in the vast Reese’s cup universe. Maybe we need to rank all the cups next to see where this lands. But with so many new cups surfacing lately, I’m sure by the time the article launches there will be four or five new types to try.
For now, if it’s peanut butter flavor you want, stick to the OG — creamy and chunky aren’t doing anything special.