Becoming a new mom is hard. You’ve got this tiny human depending on you for its survival all while you’re healing from bringing them into the world. But the piece that can get to be overwhelming is fielding visitors and their well intentioned unsolicited advice.
You’re already feeling a bit underprepared for the undertaking but you’ve done your research, spoke to professionals and have been in every mom group imaginable.
So if you know nothing else, you know what rules you have around others spending time with your new bundle of joy. Here’s the thing though, not everyone respects those rules or your new position as a mom, which means you’re constantly defending your boundaries.
One new mom, Tay shared a series of photos through video on TikTok that displayed, “icks” she has as a new mom.
The post has caused some waves with people who are probably feeling a bit guilty of doing the things on the “ick” list. But there are many new parents in the comments nodding their heads hard in agreement.
As someone who has been a new parent, I can honestly say that I wish I had the knowledge that I was allowed to tell people “no, thank you” when it came to my new baby. It’s amazing that new parents are finding community and courage through social media to set clear boundaries. So what are the new mom “icks” that have gotten people whipped into a tizzy?
The icks range from refusing to give the baby back upon request, even if the child is crying to offering unsolicited advice. Tay really lays out multiple scenarios that many new parents are likely familiar with. A big one that I have personal experience with fending off is kissing.
Babies are so dang cute and no matter how small they are, they always have the chubbiest little kissable cheeks so it’s easy to see why some people feel like they just have to give them a smooch. But kissing a newborn that isn’t yours can be dangerous for the baby and new parents are now more educated on those dangers, option to forbid kisses from everyone but mom and dad.
Another “ick” that got lots of attention from commenters was talking to the parent through the new baby in an effort to be passive aggressive. If you’ve never experienced it before, it’s when someone is holding your baby and talking in a sweet baby voice looking lovingly into the baby’s eyes while saying something like, “you must be keeping mama busy cause the house is a disaster.” Let’s all take a moment to roll our eyes.
It seems these complaints are fairly universal for new parents if you take a gander at the comments.
“How do I send this to my MIL without sending it to her,” one person asked.
“I feel this. A mom will never forget how she was treated during pregnancy and postpartum. It’s when we are most vulnerable,” another wrote.
“My mother in law used to body shame me through my infant,” one mom confessed.
“I have gotten the ‘I have raised 5 kids, I think I know better than you’ from my mom so many times since having kids,” someone wrote.
No matter who’s baby it is, I think its safe to say you should respect the parents boundaries, even if you don’t understand them. Watch the entire video here.