Mansplaining is not a science, but an art. It’s when a man explains to a woman what she actually means. It comes with the assumption that the speaker doesn’t know what she’s talking about, even if she’s literally an expert in the field. And it’s annoying AF.
Dr. Tasha Stanton, an associate professor of clinical pain neuroscience at the University of South Australia, encountered a mansplainer at an Australian Physiotherapy Association Conference. Her experience is pretty relatable, even if you don’t have “Dr.” in your title.
After talking with a man, he, unsolicited, told Stanton she should read a paper. A paper that she wrote. “Friends at conferences – please do not assume that the people that you talk to do not know anything. I just got told that I should read what Stanton et al found about pain,” she posted on Twitter. “I. Am. Stanton.” Mic. Drop.
u201cFriends at conferences – please do not assume that the people that you talk to do not know anything. I just got told that I should read what Stanton et al found about pain. nnI. Am. Stanton.u201d— A/Prof Tasha Stanton (@A/Prof Tasha Stanton)
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The man had no idea who he had been talking to. Stanton said she knows she can’t expect someone to know what she looked like based on seeing her name on a paper. However, she should be able to expect that the person she’s talking to treats her like someone who knows her stuff. “Just to be clear: I would never expect people to know what I look like! The more hilarious part of this was that the earlier part of the conversation had more of a condescending tone with recommendations of what I should read, which happened to be MY paper,” she wrote.
Stanton said he was “visibly shocked. There was an “awkward silence” and “some attempted backpedaling.” But Stanton took it in good stride. “[W]e both had a laugh. I told him that it was a massive compliment that he recommended my paper, that I am glad he enjoyed it and found it useful … but that in the future he might want to be careful not to assume that other people don’t know things … especially when you are at a conference. We all make mistakes — I know I certainly have — but hopefully the message got across.”
u201cResponse: Visibly shocked, awkward silence, some attempted back-pedalling and then we both had a laugh. I told him that it was a massive compliment that he recommended my paper, that I am glad he enjoyed it and found it useful,u201d— A/Prof Tasha Stanton (@A/Prof Tasha Stanton)
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u201cThis was the paper – actually a small proof of concept study about the possibility of cross-modal modulation (ability of one sense – vision – to modulation another sense – nociception- to reduce pain) in people with osteoarthritis. https://t.co/6bfh4KakyJu201d— A/Prof Tasha Stanton (@A/Prof Tasha Stanton)
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After Stanton posted her experiences on Twitter, other women chimed in with their own experiences of getting mansplained.
“@Tash_Stanton As a graduate student, I was once standing at my poster, with my name tag on, and was basically asked when “Swann” would be coming. When I said I was “Swann” the person said “Oh, from your work I thought you would be a man.” He didn’t seem the least bit troubled or embarrassed.”
u201c@Tash_Stanton As a graduate student, I was once standing at my poster, with my name tag on, and was basically asked when “Swann” would be coming. When I said I was “Swann” the person said “Oh, from your work I thought you would be a man.” He didn’t seem the least bit troubled or embarrassed.u201d— A/Prof Tasha Stanton (@A/Prof Tasha Stanton)
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u201cThis happened to me. nnWM prof: are you an undergrad or grad student?nnMe: professor. nnHim: whatu2019s your specialty? nnMe: courts, law & sociology. nnHim: You should really read the book u201cCrookCounty.u201dnnMe: i know. I wrote it. ud83euddd0ud83eudd28nn*gives Clair Huxtable stare*u201d— Nicole Gonzalez Van Cleve (@Nicole Gonzalez Van Cleve)
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u201c@gal_bread @Tash_Stanton I created the first Child Impact Statements in the United States. Cities now adopt them and add pink or blue pages to policies to say how laws or policies will impact their children. It’s modeled after the UN rights of the child.u201d— A/Prof Tasha Stanton (@A/Prof Tasha Stanton)
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u201c@Tash_Stanton Something like that happened to me once. Someone telling me that their organisation was doing this important thing. Went into the detail of it in quite a condescending way. I am the founder of this thing. nI kept my cool! ud83dude44ud83dude0fud83dude0eu201d— A/Prof Tasha Stanton (@A/Prof Tasha Stanton)
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Stanton said it’s important to speak up when someone cuts you off by saying, “Well, actually…” It’s the only way we can grow. “It’s really important to be able to stand up and call it as it is because that’s not a great way to interact with someone at a conference,” Stanton told Good Morning America. “People will never learn if you don’t call it out.”
Why should someone refrain from mansplaining? If anything, it’s just good manners. “It’s not about trying to be the smartest or showing anyone up. It’s literally about connection and the best way you’re going to connect with someone is by actually asking questions about them. … that can result in an amazing collaboration that you might never have thought!” Stanton told GMA. “Don’t be that guy.”
It is astounding that this many women were able to chime in with their own experiences of being told to read something they wrote. The only silver lining to this story is that the mainsplainer didn’t chime in with, “Well actually, what happened was…”
This article originally appeared on 10.31.19