Month: August 2023

Pets are wonderful, loving, innocent creatures that add so much pure joy into our lives.

They also have an unruly penchant for eating things they shouldn’t be eating, find heinously bad places to go potty and are weapons of mass destruction when it comes to shoes, fragile knickknacks and furniture. If you’ve had a pet, then you have at least one story involving one of these sins, if not all three.

No matter how egregious the act, it’s pretty hard to stay mad. After all, much of the time animal misbehavior is merely a natural reaction to stress or boredom. Plus, one look at their sweet little faces is all it takes for anger to be subdued. Most of the time.

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A Reddit user recently asked pet owners, “What’s the worst thing your pet has ever done?” and boy, some critters really know to act out. Whether its fur babies or feathered friends or scaly companions, pets are capable of some truly horrific-slash-hilarious antics. We love them anyway, of course.

Below are 22 of the best responses from traumatized pet owners. And though their stories don’t necessarily paint the best picture of their beastly bestie, it’s certainly an amusing read, if not an all-too-relatable one.

1.

“My dog dug up my neighbors cable line on Super Bowl Sunday when they had a big crowd coming over.” -@Living_Departure_265

2.

“My parrot has learnt to swear and will not stop. The weirdest thing is that I don’t even know how he learnt to swear. Maybe he overheard the neighbors or something.” -@Pizza-pen

3.

“As a kitten, she managed to get hold of, and tear to pieces, a dried flower my mother took from my grandmother’s funeral as a keepsake. Literally irreplaceable.” -@Catstrudle

4.

“My dog, then teething, chewed through and broke the beanbag chair he used to sleep on; which was filled with styrofoam pellets, each about 3mm dia. Tens of thousands of them. There is no effective way of picking them up due to their attraction to static and propensity to fly at the slightest change in the wind. The vacuum cleaner just pushed around more than it picked up. It took ~3 hours to clean up. We were finding pellets for years in random places.” -@Darthfloyd

5.

“I used to have this ball python. I wake up one morning and take him out of his cage because he’s looking restless. I throw him on my bed and lay back down. He’d often crawl on me and curl up for warmth. On this particular occasion he came sniffing around my face right as I yawned. When I did, a small tear came out of my eye, which he licked. A second later he latched onto my eyebrow like it was some furry little rodent. I sat right up, holding the four foot snake straight off my face. He let go after a few seconds and we didn’t talk for the rest of the day. Left two bloody holes right on my eyebrow. Jerk.” -@Stevel-Knievel

6.

“Baxter once pooped in the refrigerator and ate an entire wheel of cheese. I wasn’t even mad, it was amazing.” -@ryclarky

7.

“My boxer knocked over a statue of the Virgin Mary. Her head broke off, and my dog was running around with the head.” – @Motherinlawdouche

8.

“As I lay down for a much needed nap the other day, I heard a crash in the living room go out to check what fresh hell…my Calico had climbed a desk and knocked over a small shelf containing a case of small silver thumbtacks alllllllll over my living room. I made it about 5 steps in before I realized I was surrounded by tacks.” -@slumvillain

9.

“I filled a cup to the brim with fruit punch and walked away to put the bottle back into the fridge. When I turned back around I saw my blind cat standing on the dining room table feeling the cup with his paw…he winds up and swats it off the table. Got fruit punch everywhere.” -@colethefatcat

10.

“Back in 2014, my parents owned this vase that had been passed down 4 generations to the youngest in the family. It sat on top of the cabinets, like higher than the refrigerator. Our family went on a 4 day vacation to Disney World and had our neighbor feed our 2 cats. On the 2nd day of our vacation, my father gets a text saying that our vase shattered on the floor and both our cats were next to where it once sat. We believe our cats were able to jump up there with the help up [by] climbing on our air fryer we left on the counter.” -@mittiens

11.

“We bought our first house and the first time we left our dog alone he ate through the trim surrounding all the doors, the drywall behind it, and almost through the exterior. Needless to say I wasn’t pleased.” -@Fuzzy-Ad5756

12.

“I’m a caffeine addict and I admit it. I start out every day with an energy drink and pop Diet Mountain Dew all day. In college I was very, very broke and at one point was down to about 14 ounces left in a 2 liter of Mtn Dew poured into a cup. My cat came to check out what I had, sniffed at it and I guess the popping bubbles tickled her nose and she sneezed directly onto the surface of it.”-@LatterTowel9403

13.

“Got a new dog and wanted them to be happy and acclimated to a new home. Gave them a pig ear to chew on (already a fairly disgusting treat) and they happily take it. A short time later, where did the dog go? On my bed, chomping away on the pig ear, with a large pile of drool and pig ear bits, now quite possibly a permanent part of my sheets. Not the way I wanted to start off a relationship with a new dog. Silver lining, my sheets smelled like bacon for a while even after washing them!” -@ItsGotHeart

14.

“My beta killed 3 fish in a week.” -@Tox1cShark7

15.

“My dog was still a puppy and has never seen a baby bird. One night I was taking her for a walk and there was a baby bird on the ground. It was chirping and it really caught her attention (probably cause it sounded like her squeaky toys). I started reaching for the bird so I could try and put it back in its nest but my dog jumped towards the bird. I just heard a loud squeak and silence. My dog’s expression changed when she realized what she had done. The rest of the night she was not herself, I’m sure she felt really bad.” -@justanotherperson218

16.

“He (dog) broke my mother’s nose with his big head by jumping around too excitedly.” -@mortokes

17.

“A few nights ago, in the middle of the night, my monster cat brought in a live pigeon through the cat door and released it in the living room. Feathers EVERYWHERE.” -@effieokay

18.

“I have a roomba. I set it to clean at 7:30 AM every morning… because I am always out the door for work by then, and my dog has just been walked. One morning, apparently, the 7 AM walk was not enough, and my dog shit on the floor. Then, like a good little robot, my roomba took off. I came home to poo circles all over my carpet and a dead roomba.

TL;DR–My dog teamed up with a robot to create an abstract art piece made out of feces.” -@SleepsontheGround

19.

“Whilst walking my friend’s dalmation, Stripey, one summer’s day in a park filled with happy picnickers and laughing children, she spotted a birthday party. A river separated the party from us and, underestimating her love of food, I kept her off the [leash]. I’m not sure how she even saw the birthday cake wrapped in tinfoil but she leaped into the river before I could stop her. She tore apart the tinfoil like a savage and devoured the cake before quickly moving on to the BBQ where she managed to eat every sausage, burger and chicken leg she could see whilst the birthday boy watched in terror. I stood awkwardly on the other side of the water, shouting her name and apologizing profusely but she only listened when she’d decided her meal was over after which she swam calmly back over the water and pranced into the distance whilst the entire family stared me down. I am sorry, birthday boy, I hope your day wasn’t too badly ruined.” -@Tanyabee

20.

“One time I was running to the basement to grab an ingredient I had forgotten to add to dinner. Like an idiot, I kept the burner and hot pan going because I figured that running to the fridge in the basement would only take a minute. Instead, I tripped over my dog before reaching the first step and tumbled down into the basement. I stared up to see my dog looking down and smiling as I scrambled frantically to run back upstairs before my stupid dinner set the entire house on fire.” – [deleted]

21.

“Maybe not ‘worst’ for me, but definitely for my mom. She pissed off the cat… kicking her out of the bedroom before bed because she hates animals sleeping on her bed or next to her…Apparently in the morning, she was running late for work. Rushed to put on her shoes and found vomit in one of them. Out of all her shoes, and of all the times in the day, the cat had decided to revenge-puke in the ones she wears to work almost every day.” -@badguywindow

22.

“My 55lb dog ate an entire tray of pot brownies.” -@karmavorous

This article originally appeared on 8.9.22

“Don’t” miss out on the South Park duo’s Casa Bonita revamp while anywhere near Lakewood, Colorado.

That’s the message coming from Ed Sheeran, who believes that he lacks the “pizazz” to be the Super Bowl Halftime Show headliner, and only time will tell if he called that one correctly. He definitely, however, holds the clout to score a coveted ticket to an eatertainment venue that is currently admitting by “invite only,” which has left some superfans holding out hope while sleeping in the parking lot. Presumably, bringing a record crowd to Denver’s Empower Field last weekend didn’t hurt the “Shape Of You” crooner’s chances of admission.

Ed is making a tasty habit of popping into famed eateries while on his various The Mathematics Tour stops. He recently donned an apron at Chicago’s The Weiner Circle, where he was allegedly “too proper and friendly,” given that the restaurant’s motto is “hot dogs served with a side of abuse.” At Casa Bonita, however, Ed stuck to the role of spectator while enjoying the venue’s cliff divers and the fake jail, and of course, he indulged in chips and salsa.

“When in Colorado, Casa Bonita is a must,” Sheeran wrote on Instagram.

Any sopapillas? Ed left that part up to the imagination. Regardless of the answer, Cartman would be so jealous. Trey Parker and Matt Stone dumped “infinity dollars” into restoring the shuttered restaurant “like a piece of art,” but again, welcoming 80,000+ fans to one’s own concert is an airtight way to making sure that watching the Casa Bonita mariachi band is also on the weekend’s agenda.

Ed Sheeran is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Rihanna has reportedly given birth to her and ASAP Rocky’s second child. According to TMZ, Rihanna gave birth on August 3 in Los Angeles, but has kept things quiet after making the announcement of her pregnancy in the flashiest way possible during her February Super Bowl Halftime Show performance. Rihanna and Rocky had their first child, who they named after RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan, back in May of 2022. Since then, Rihanna has added maternity bras to her Savage X Fenty lingerie line, while Rocky has hinted multiple times that the couple also secretly got married.

How this affects the couple’s future music plans remains to be seen. Rocky has been teasing his upcoming album, Don’t Be Dumb, since late last year, apparently beginning the rollout with his new single, “Riot (Rowdy Pipe’n),” after “putting the finishing touches” on the album back in January. He also previously released the single “Sh*ttin’ Me,” his first solo release in nearly three years, last December.

Rihanna’s comeback album, meanwhile, has been the subject of much speculation and a long-running meme involving playfully paranoid banter between the singer and her fans. While she did mention in February that she wants to release the album sometime this year, with a newborn to look after, those plans may just get postponed. However, with Rocky gushing about how much he loves being a dad and Rihanna using her motherhood for inspiration, that may work out for the couple in the long run.

Last week, Donald Trump made history yet again: He became the first U.S. president to score not one, not two, not three, but four indictments. Congrats? There was a chance, thanks to his reckless social media antics, that he’d go straight from his fourth arraignment to his first stint in jail. It’s a nasty jail, too, hardly fitting for someone who owns a gold toilet. But now, for a sizeable price, he’ll avoid that fate.

As per Mediaite, Trump’s lawyers met with Fulton County, Georgia D.A. Fani Willis to negotiate the terms of his surrender. Among the topics they agreed upon was the size of the bail bond. It ain’t cheap, coming in at $200,000. But after he pays that lofty sum, he’ll be able to enjoy freedom once again and tweet about murder waves or whatever.

Mind you, Trump won’t be able to tweet about everything. One of the details in the court filing was that he “shall perform no act to intimate any person known to him or her to be a co-defendant or witness.” That part was included surely because he’s already engaged in witness intimidation, to say nothing of taunting some of the people who hold his freedom in their hands.

Trump isn’t the only one of the 19 defendants in the Georgia case whose bail bond was made public. John Eastman, the lawyer who designed the infamous plan to overturn the 2020 election, has agreed to one half the size of Trump’s, coming at a “mere” $100,000. Hope it was worth trying to unsuccessfully subvert the will of the American people!

(Via Mediaite)

Ronan Farrow just dropped a massive expose on Elon Musk that paints an alarming portrait of a man who’s doing far more than just running Twitter into the ground. In fact, that’s easily the least concerning move for Musk’s empire that reportedly has considerable sway over the U.S. government.

According to Farrow, both SpaceX and Tesla have received deferential treatment from the Department of Defense and regulatory bodies thanks to Musk’s company dominating the fields of space technology and electric vehicles, respectively. Essentially, Musk has been able to operate with very little to zero oversight, which is concerning in light of allegations that he’s significantly ramped up his ketamine usage.

Earlier in the summer, The Wall Street Journal reported that Musk was using the drug to treat depression and at parties. According to Farrow, that use has concerned associates.

Via The New Yorker:

Associates suggested that Musk’s use has escalated in recent years, and that the drug, alongside his isolation and his increasingly embattled relationship with the press, might contribute to his tendency to make chaotic and impulsive statements and decisions. Amit Anand, a leading ketamine researcher, told me that it can contribute to unpredictable behavior. “A little bit of ketamine has an effect similar to alcohol. It can cause disinhibition, where you do and say things you otherwise would not,” he said.

Anand later told Farrow, “You can feel grandiose and like you have special powers or special talents. People do impulsive things, they could do inadvisable things at work. The impact depends on the kind of work. For a librarian, there’s less risk. If you’re a pilot, it can cause big problems.”

While Musk’s impulsive business decisions appear to be contained to Twitter, at the moment, Farrow also reported that Musk has the ability to cut off the Ukraine army’s communications thanks to their reliance on Starlink, a satellite network run by SpaceX. In fact, Musk already threatened to revoke Ukraine’s access after revealing to defense officials that he personally spoke to Vladimir Putin.

According to Farrow, Musk and the Pentagon reached an agreement to secure Starlink’s use by Ukraine. The conditions of that agreement were not revealed.

(Via The New Yorker)

On Monday morning, Stephen A. Smith dropped a nugget of reporting on First Take that he’s heard Stefon Diggs wants out of Buffalo, citing a loss of belief in the Bills.

This came after Diggs missed the first day of mandatory minicamp and there was some apparent friction with the star receiver and the organization, but all parties have insisted it’s “water under the bridge” since and he’s been preparing for the season as normal throughout camp. As such, Stephen A.’s little side note about Diggs being unhappy still was notable to many, enough so that Diggs made sure to let Bills fans know that was definitively not the case, shutting down Smith’s report on Twitter.

While there certainly seems to be something lingering under the surface in Buffalo with their star wideout, everyone seems willing to move forward and try to put it behind them and see if a bounce back season can fix things. Josh Allen saw some regression a year ago and the Bills faltered under heavy expectations to be a Super Bowl contender. They’re still supposed to be one of the AFC’s best, but have plenty of competition in the division from the Jets and Dolphins. That brings a different kind of pressure, but if they can win the AFC East one would think that would be a serious confidence boost going into the postseason, where they are looking to finally find the success they crave. If they do, that will probably smooth things out with Diggs and everyone. If not, we may very well revisit Diggs’ frustrations next offseason, but he seems determined to not let that be a story as the season begins.

August is the Sunday of Summer so, naturally, everyone and their cousin are away on a vacation to visit an obscure relative or go to their college roommate’s wedding, or avoid working. Most of these are valid. Get in your vacation now before hibernation begins. But with travel comes fees, and with fees come those who do not wish to pay them (everyone). Enter: Skiplagging.

No, skiplagging isn’t the practice of reloading a YouTube video to avoid a laggy ad, though it sure sounds like it. It’s the new trend where flyers buy a connecting flight somewhere with the intention of not completing the second part of the trip. For example, flying from Missoula to Denver might cost you $500, but if you book a connecting flight from Missoula to Salt Lake City that stops in Denver could cost you around $250. Thrifty, right? It’s been saving people hundreds, even though it’s also not really allowed.

The practice of Skiplagging has become popular this summer, though airlines are starting to pick up on the trend and deny boarding to anyone who might intend to do such a thing. While the act isn’t illegal, it could lead airlines to ban travelers from their service, leaving them stranded with no complementary pretzels or ginger ale.

“If a customer knowingly or unknowingly purchases a ticket and doesn’t fly all of the segments in their itinerary, it can lead to operational issues with checked bags and prevent other customers from booking a seat when they may have an urgent need to travel,” American Airlines said in a statement. “Intentionally creating an empty seat that could have been used by another customer or team member is an all-around bad outcome.”

Are people still doing it? Yup! There is a whole site, Skiplagged.com, dedicated to finding “ridiculous travel deals.” American Airlines filed a civil lawsuit earlier this month against the site, accusing it of using “unauthorized and deceptive ticketing practices.” While other airlines haven’t threatened legal action, you probably don’t want to get on Jet Blue’ bad side. You would never be able to eat Terra chips again.

(Via Today)

Ted Cruz fell for one of the oldest hoaxes in the book.

As Tropical Storm Hilary rolled into southern California, bringing with it flash floods and record-setting rain totals, Barstool‘s Dan Katz wrote on Twitter, “Friend of mine out in LA just took this picture on the 405. And yes, all news and media outlets you have permission to use this. Wild.” The tweet also included an obviously fake photo of a shark swimming down the highway… and the rare double community note.

One reads, “The photograph is a digital hoax. The image of the shark was lifted from a 2005 photograph of a kayaker being trailed by a great white shark and pasted into a photograph of a flooded street,” while the other notes, “The photo originally appeared in 2011, after Hurricane Irene hit Puerto Rico. The hoax also made the rounds in 2015 after Texas was hit with heavy rains, in 2016 during Hurricane Matthew and again in 2017 after Hurricane Harvey.”

“Hurricane Shark” has gone viral enough times that it has a Know Your Meme page. But instead of two seconds of research, Ted Cruz shared the tweet with his millions of followers. “Holy crap,” the senator quote-tweeted. Cruz later tried to take it back in a follow up (“I’m told this is a joke. In LA, you never know,” he wrote, whatever that means), but for someone so Extremely Online, he should know better. The only explanation I can think for why Cruz fell for the obvious hoax is because he’s been busy looking at other images online.

Last week, Mike Lindell held his “Election Crime Bureau Summit” after promising that the event would be a bipartisan love fest that would “save our country” by guaranteeing the security of America’s future election. Instead, the MyPillow CEO delivered an event that predictably devolved into MAGA conspiracy theories about the 2020 election, and at one point, featured Steve Bannon telling the crowd to do a January 6 on Georgia officials.

As for Lindell’s bold, new election fraud plan that has never been done before: drones. That was his big play, and he’s already walking back.

As reported by The Daily Beast, states, local municipalities, and the FAA all have strict laws about the use of drones, which would make it very illegal to just fly one up to a polling place to see if China is manipulating votes or whatever:

Flying a drone within 15 miles of Washington, D.C.’s inner ring can land you in jail for 90 days. Other cities like New York have their own anti-drone laws on the books, and drones are prohibited within five miles of airports.

On Thursday, Lindell was aware of at least some technology laws. He said he would have demonstrated his [wireless monitoring device] on real voting machines, but that he worried he might face legal risk.

While appearing on Charlie Kirk’s podcast on Monday, Lindell wanted to set the record straight that his WMDs would not be used on drones despite him demonstrating the device to his Election Summit audience by using a drone.

“These are not drones, everybody. We brought it in on a drone just for effect and to make it kind of cool, bringing it in all the excitement,” Lindell told Kirk via Raw Story. “The drones have nothing to do with it. So it is legal, believe me, we’ve had our legal team on this for over a year. And it’s just, it’s like radio waves are capturing it.”

(Via Raw Story, The Daily Beast)

The Got Sole sneaker convention went down in New York City this past weekend, and Meek Mill was on hand looking to score some new footwear. One of his pickups in particular drew some attention, but because of how the transaction went.

In a video, Meek is seen discussing a pair of “Pine Green” Nike SB x Air Jordan 4’s with a reseller (as Complex notes). Currently, pairs of the shoe are available for around $300 per pair on StockX, depending on the size, but the reseller priced theirs at $500. (While writing this post, though, the most recently sold pair on StockX went for $517.)

Meek took exception to the pricing, but ultimately bought the shoes. He said, “I could buy these at the store right now for $300. You want $500? That’s a bad move. I’m going to buy them from you, but that’s a bad sell. You’re supposed to give it to Meek Mill for the low, get the commercial: Boom, I might come back and buy more, you know? […] Now I’m going to go to the next table and I might spend $5,000.”

Some people didn’t love Meek bringing his celebrity status into the equation, and the whole ordeal made Meek one of the top trending topics on X (formerly Twitter) today (August 21). One user wrote, “Well he got the publicity and the sale at his price. I understand what Meek is saying but it’s also predatory. He’s trying to strong arm him for a lower price, when he can clearly afford the price that’s being offered. Plus the price is on par for what others are charging.”

Somebody else tweeted, “First off this isn’t schooling. Your price is your price. I bet if he go to LV they making him pay and there isn’t any discounts. And they gladly pay it. Ain’t nobody trying to get no weak free promotion at all. Stand your ground on your price. Either buy it or move on.”

Some folks took Meek’s side, though, like one person who wrote, “Hustling backwards… Should have gave Meek that pair and an additional one for the $500. Sure you take the loss upfront but now you’re locked in as Meek’s shoe plug and can supply him and his team with all the sneakers they will need.” Somebody else responded, “He got the $500 and i seen this video so free publicity [crying laughing emoji].”

Meek Mill is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.