Going to the gym can be a daunting prospect for a lot of people. It shouldn’t be—the whole point of going to the gym is to exercise, which is something that should universally be applauded—but sometimes it can feel like there’s pressure to be at a certain fitness level or have a certain physique before stepping foot in the door.
For people who are heavier, gym culture can be especially intimidating. Unfortunately, not everyone remembers to practice kindness and fatphobia appears to remain a fairly tolerated prejudice. That shouldn’t stop people with big bodies from enjoying all that fitness centers have to offer, but all too often, it does.
It hasn’t stopped a woman named Steph from working out regularly at her gym, albeit with some trepidation. As she shared in a hugely viral TikTok, she’s experienced some unkind behavior at the gym that made her nervous when a man approached her recently. But her description of the encounter ultimately demonstrated how powerful a few positive words can be.
In a video made from her car just after leaving the gym, Steph explained that a “hardcore” gym-goer who is “super tough” and covered in tattoos had came up to talk to her. Her initial response was to be afraid of what he was going to say to her, based on previous experience. She shared in the video how hard it’s been to stay steady with her workouts, especially with medications she’s on making her body hold onto weight, but she’s been working hard to be consistent. She steeled herself for whatever he might say.
She didn’t expect it to be this: “I’ve seen you in here every week, almost every day. I’ve seen you in here every week—and I’m proud of you.” Nor did she expect that such simple words of encouragement could make such a huge impact.
Watch her tell the story:
@steph5468 #gymprogress #workputjourney #keepgoing #healingjourney
People had a lot to say about the interchange and Steph’s emotional response to it.
“People do not realize, how one person can change everything,” wrote one commenter.
“Girl you are CRUSHING IT,” wrote another. “That man you encountered is what real men do. Encourage. Support. Be human! It isn’t hard! ❤️”
“No one knows your story, your struggles. You’re doing the dang thing and that takes courage and strength. You. Keep. Going. I’m proud of you too!” shared another.
More and more words of encouragement flooded Steph’s comment section, and people on Upworthy’s Instagram page weighed in as well.
“I’m a fitness coach and this made me cry 😢 just having someone say they are proud of you can move mountains for so many of us who didn’t/ don’t get the praise growing up,” wrote one person.
“Who knows? He may be going through something too and saw a determined, consistent, fellow traveler,” wrote another. “You share your Truth so powerfully. You may not know how many people will see this and be encouraged by your honesty. I’m in awe that you show up for YOURSELF every day. And as for the rude and ill-mannered? Well they struggle too—just to be decent kind human beings. Some people have not been shown Empathy and therefore do not know how to use that muscle. You are beautiful, smart, articulate, wise and a woman who knows where she’s headed. Keep walking, head up knowing there are many many more who do empathize, who see you and are on your side❤️”
“It’s amazing to think about how this man’s single act of kindness, spread through you to affect us all in a positive way,” shared another. “This made all of our days, and I’m crying tears of joy while I write this. Please thank him from all of us the next time you see him, if you’re comfortable with that. And thank you for sharing! ❤️”
Indeed, thanks to both Steph and the hardcore, tattooed gym bro for being wonderful examples for us all. We never know what a small act of kindness or a few words of encouragement will do to make someone’s life significantly better, but it’s always worth trying.