Month: September 2023

In 2020, Beastie Boys shared their greatest hits compilation Beastie Boys Music. Earlier this year, the iconic group’s Hello Nasty deluxe record got a reissue for its 25th anniversary. Needless to say, they’re still kicking it. Now, they’re back with more.

On social media, Beastie Boys posted a photo of some posters in New York City teasing… something. The posters read: “Beastie Boys Square,” as well as “Ludlow & Rivington” and the date of September 9. Fans in the replies and quote-tweets wonder what it could possibly be, speculating a pop-up at the location of the cross-streets. Luckily, it’s only a few days away, so we’ll know soon.

Also in 2020, Beastie Boys reunited with their producer Rick Rubin after 20 years to reminisce about their debut album. “I would say they had better access than I had because this was pre-internet,” Rubin said. “Like now, everyone could find out anything they want about anything. Where I was, it was hard to find out anything about anything. I spent a lot of time in the library doing research, and even that research wasn’t [the] sort of ‘culture of the moment’ research, it was about learning about things I was interested in and spending a lot of time in records was my closest way of having any kind of connection to culture.”

Discovering one’s sexual orientation is a deeply personal journey that unfolds differently for everyone. Some people have a defining moment when they know what they’ll be into for the rest of their lives, and others go through life without much questioning.

Some people go for more of a trial-and-error approach where they come to an understanding over numerous experiences, while others view their sexuality as fluid and would rather live without any label.

What’s important to remember is that there’s no “right” timeline or method for this self-discovery. What matters most is allowing oneself the time, space and love to grow and evolve organically. Everyone deserves the freedom to find their truth at their own pace.

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​A Reddit user by the name of Jacklawd asked the online forum, “How did you conclude that your sexual orientation is what it is?” It received nearly 5,000 responses from almost every sexual orientation imaginable. Many people’s journeys also made them understand that they were asexual—meaning they weren’t sexually attracted to other people.

The discussion was valuable for many because it gave them a free place to express their personal journeys in a public forum. After reading other people’s experiences, there were many who felt a lot less alone.

Here are 17 of the most interesting responses to the question: “How did you conclude that your sexual orientation is what it is?”

Bisexual

“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel attracted to both men and women. It never went away, never wavered. Figured by 25, that’s pretty well set that I’m bisexual.” — TinyTinasRabidOtter

“Saw a hot girl. Saw a hot guy. Thought ‘yeah both is good.'” — HailYourSelf717

Lesbian

“I accepted that I like women pretty quickly, but it was far harder for me to accept that I DIDN’T like men. I don’t know why but apparently that’s pretty common with lesbians. Compulsory heterosexuality (look it up) is a bitch. But one memory I frequently go to as proof is my especially close relationship with my ‘best friends’ and literally using one of her shirts as a pillowcase, vis a vis Jenny by Studio Killers. Also, having sex with a woman for the first time and all my fears melting away once I got lost in the moment. I can’t fathom being intimate with a man without feelings of extreme anxiety and nausea (no offense gents, you’re all great!! This is a me problem, not you!).” — Hannah_of-Acero

“I dated men forever and thought all straight women were attracted to other women. And then I had sex with a woman and there was literally no doubt. The glaring neon sign was there, I just didn’t see it for what it was. Nobody in my life was surprised though lmaooooo I wanted to have a big dramatic ‘coming out’ moment and everyone was just like ‘oh good you figured it out.'” — melxcham

“I like my best friend -> I like girls -> bi?? -> I’ve never been attracted to a man -> lesbian.” — Environmental-Cap727

Queer

“The labels got too annoying, so I just went with Queer. I feel comfortable with it, and it’s not like I owe anyone an explanation. Nobody really asks for specific labels these days.” — Random_Person

Gay

“I’ve liked guys since I was like 3. When I was 14 briefly wondered if I might be gay. Realized I’d never liked a girl and liked many guys so decided it was very unlikely. When I was 20 realized straight people weren’t typically interested in or turned on by the thought of having sex with people of the same sex as them. Decided I like guys so much more than I would ever be interested in a girl that it really didn’t matter. The thought of dating a girl is also a complete turn-off for me.” — Harakiri_238

“I’m gay and grew up in a small, Christian village. So being openly gay was not really an option. I first realized that I liked men at the tender age of 12 while watching ‘The Mummy’ with Brendan Fraser for the first time. Everyone was talking about Rachel Weisz and I was always thinking ‘She’s pretty but… Did you see that guy?!’ Then things moved back into the shadow thanks to some religious brainwashing and witnessing how my best friend was sent away to one of these ‘healing camps’ for just mentioning that he thought he is gay when we were 16. So I bottled it up. Dated a couple of girls, later a woman. Never was really into any of them. And I’m still to this day really sorry that I wasted their time. I completely closed that chapter when I moved to a big city and was finally able to explore myself without the fear of the entire village finding out and talking. I was 24 and had finally a feeling of knowing who I am and where I belong.” — OneMorePotion

Straight Women

“I never had that need to explore my sexuality I see a lot of people have because I have only ever felt attracted to men. I’ve had women come up to me, but I have never even felt curious, I just don’t feel attracted to them. I guess that makes me straight.” — NenaBurguesa

“I just knew as a young girl that I really liked boys. I had two older sisters, and I loved it when they’d invite their boyfriends over! I would bother them and ask them questions.” — I_Need_A_Better_Name

Straight Men

“Heterosexual 34M here. Contrary to a lot of heterosexual men, I’m not just saying ‘well I’m straight, that’s it’ because you also do have to realize it at some point…I played basketball and practiced jiu-jitsu, saw a lot of beautiful, athletic men showering naked, and never was attracted to them. I had beautiful gay men hitting on me and didn’t feel attracted (nor repulsed, just: that it’s not for me, sorry). So I concluded I was straight.” — Teebo_

“When I was a teen I questioned it because I thought that even thinking some men are attractive made you gay. But I later realized that I didn’t want to be physical or romantic with men at all, I actually am kinda repulsed by the idea of naked guys, I simply liked they way they looked. Same way I look at a car or something else that is aesthetically pleasing. But with women, I want to experience them physically, emotionally and intimately. I want to be with a woman, I don’t want to be with a man in any way. So that’s when I understood I’m straight.” — MembraneintheInzane

Asexual

“After well over 20 years of never having a crush on anyone, it starts to dawn on you that maybe you’re the odd one out not feeling anything. For me, sex was always just this super distant thing that I never, ever thought about unless it was brought up externally. Masturbation was always an ‘oh yeah people do that, right’ kinda deal. Any sexual body part was always either completely unremarkable or outright ugly. That people really did imagine having sex with people was surprising to me. ‘Wait, they’re not just meming about a taboo subject because it’s taboo? People actually think that way?’ Porn never interested me, and I have zero desire to look at it when I can instead be watching a documentary on Dave Stieb. Yeah, at some point it becomes hard to ignore that you’re different.

“While I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by being asexual and being in a position where I never want to try sex, I definitely do feel like I’m missing out by (possibly) being aromantic. I can appreciate a well-written romance (note: most are not for infuriating pacing reasons alone), and it does feel like it’s something I’m missing even if I’ve never felt it. While I can think of someone as ‘pretty’ or ‘cute,’ words like ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’ have no intuitive and intrinsic meaning to them. I can give you a dictionary definition, and I can tell you how other people use them, but I don’t actually feel it.” — 47Robin

“Fellow ace here. I really thought that people were kind of arbitrarily deciding who they liked. I really didn’t understand that you actually had some feelings for someone. I only thought it was kinda judging the appearance of someone. And it was just crazy when people started to like each other at like 13-15. I just faked that whole thing. I remember when learning about sex ed, in my own thoughts, I was like why do we need to know this? Nobody is having kids. Might as well learn about colonizing Mars or the Moon as well. I really thought everybody was like that and just lied about finding people sexy and the like. I can understand someone being pretty, but it’s the exact same feeling when seeing a sunset, art, or listening to great music or seeing a great movie.” — Craigularperson

Aromantic-Asexual (AroAce)

“Never developed a crush, never felt drawn to anyone sexually, and even as I grew older was repulsed by the idea of having sex. I heard the term ‘aroace’, researched its meaning, and the label just fit. I am aroace. I can love people platonically, but I do not feel sexual or romantic attraction/love.” —

​Pansexual

​”I fell in love with a man who transitioned. After I’d come to terms with ‘losing’ my lover, I realized that I still loved her just as much as I’d ever loved him, and that was that my pansexual orientation was born.” — Fluffy_Fox_Kit

No Need for a Label

“If you’re asking for insight to better understand others who are different from you, I think you’ve gotten plenty of great responses already. However, if you’re looking for info relating to your own definition of sexuality, then I want to STRONGLY impress upon you that there isn’t actually any need to define yourself with labels. Society is really obsessed with putting people into categories to better understand them. You don’t have to do that. It’s totally fine (and I feel really healthy) to just experience life as it comes. My mom is 65+, has 3 previous hetero marriages, and has recently found a girlfriend. It doesn’t mean she’s been gay the whole time. It doesn’t mean she’s straight and acting out. She’s just in love, and that’s great.” — IronFlower

In 2018, 50 individuals in Vancouver who had become homeless in the past two years were selected to receive a lump sum equivalent to around $5,498 USD to do with whatever they wanted. No questions asked.

In addition to the cash, they received a year of coaching and workshops that could help with developing life skills, goal setting, self-affirmation and brainstorming strategies to gain more stability.

The gesture was part of a peer-reviewed PNAS study, which also included the research team separately surveying 1,100 people, asking them to guess how the recipients would spend their money.

The general prediction was that these individuals, if experiencing homelessness, would spend 81 percent more on “temptation goods” like alcohol, drugs or tobacco than if they were not.

A follow-up survey proved that prediction wrong.

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A year later, the recipients reported having spent the money on food, clothes and rent, and had been able to save up for more stable housing.

Of course, the study is fairly small and does rely on self-reporting, in which facts can be skewed. Plus individuals had to have “nonsevere levels of substance use, alcohol use, and mental health symptoms” in order to qualify. But regardless, it shows the (unfounded) tendency society has to attribute some kind of character flaw—poor decision-making skills, addiction, laziness—as the core cause of someone dealing with homelessness, rather than simply a lack of money and resources.

The creators of the study argue that “traditional approaches,” which mainly focus on emergency services, healthcare and housing supports, only help prevent “more severe forms of homelessness.” They do not address the financial and psychological barriers incited through poverty. They added that other countries that have begun offering unconditional cash transfers to those with low income have seen improvement in their “physical health, psychological well-being, education and employment, and financial management.”

Rather than enabling vices, these cash transfers actually “reduce impulsivity” and help with responsible decision-making because they provide recipients the freedom to make their own decisions,” the study says. Finally, when given a large amount of money, rather than small monthly increments, people were “more likely to increase spending on durables, psychological well-being and female empowerment.”

All of these insights make for a compelling message. People struggling with homelessness have enough barriers to overcome. Let’s not let unnecessary mistrust be one of them. Both our policies and our own personal judgments need to adapt if we really want to address this huge issue. Compassion sometimes takes the form of cold, hard cash.

Work dress codes aren’t always practical, especially when you want to have a little room for self-expression. Most dress codes include things like no open-toed shoes, no spaghetti straps or no facial piercings, but some employers have a policy against unnatural hair colors.

One TikTok user, @emuhleeebee, whose first name is Emily, recently started a new job that does not allow for her brightly colored pink hair. Since she interviewed with her pink hair on full display and still got the job, she didn’t realize until after she started that the company dress code called for natural hair colors.

If you thought, easy enough, she’ll just dye her hair brown or some other natural color that would cover her pink hair, you’d be wrong. Emily decided to participate in what she calls “malicious compliance,” meaning she will comply with the company policy but in the most obnoxious way possible.

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Instead of dying her hair (which, as she explained in one of her videos, makes her feel her best), Emily simply decided to buy wigs to cover her distracting hair—hilariously bad wigs that are likely far more distracting than her pink hair but still within company policy.

In one of her videos, she’s wearing a bald wig that has a dark brown ponytail sticking out of the middle. Another wig she has in her rotation is one that makes her look like George Washington. Each wig has its own name and personality when she uploads the videos to her social media account. Since the wigs are all a natural color, there’s really not much the company can say as long as she’s doing her job and staying within policy.

@emuhleeebee

Replying to @iamrachelvray HOLLERING. #pinkhair #corporate #corporatelife #corporatehumor #corporatetiktok #maliciouscompliance #coloredhair #badwig #pinkhairdye

The argument for natural hair colors in a corporate environment feels a bit outdated. There are teachers, therapists and even doctors who sport brightly colored hair and tattoos up to their necks, and it doesn’t hinder their ability to do their jobs. Unnatural hair colors have become so normal that a company having a policy against it may not be something that crosses someone’s mind while job hunting.

But if having natural hair is a requirement, it would seem that during the job interview process, this would be something that’s mentioned, yet Emily appears to have been blindsided. In a comment, someone asked if her job has said anything about her bad wigs yet.

“Not yet…emphasis on yet. I feel it coming,” Emily replied.

@emuhleeebee

@Jay Benke besite. You chose ANOTHER wig that I feel really hot in TBH 😭. #pink #pinkhair #coloredhair #corporatetok #corporateamericaburnout #corporatehumour #corporatelifebelike

The TikTok creator even set up an Amazon wishlist where people have been purchasing wigs for her to wear to work. It’s an entertaining series on her page and certainly a creative way to stay in compliance. Hopefully, the company she works for has a sense of humor and is also getting a kick out of the malicious compliance like the rest of the internet.

Anjimile’s sophomore album The King is just days away from release. So far the musician has shared the title track, “Father,” and “Animal.” Now, the Boston-based musician is back with “Black Hole.”

As in the other released songs, the lyrics here are powerful and striking: “Light of dying stars you thrill me / I believe no man on earth could fill me,” he sings against immersive, surreal instrumentation. “Anything below our love is shy and shadow / Misty as a blanket of snow.”

On Instagram, Anjimile explained that the song “is inspired by my endless fascination with the mystery, majesty and melody of the observable universe and beyond.” It also features James Krivchenia from Big Thief on the drums as well as Justine Bowe on production. Elsewhere on the record, there’s contributions from Brad Allen Williams and Sam Gendel.

“If Giver Taker was an album of prayers, The King is an album of curses,” Anjimile said in a statement. The dark, haunting sound encapsulates this feeling, from the fearless protest track “Animal” to the vulnerable ballad “Father,” which was written “with my parents in mind as a sort of gesture of appreciation and love for everything they did to try and support me before, during, and after I went to rehab and got sober in early 2016,” he said.

Listen to “Black Hole” above.

The King is out 9/8 via 4AD. Find more information here.

Donald Trump has so many legal headaches it can be tough to remember which is which. You might even forget one of them. For instance, remember the lawsuit brought upon the Trump Organization by New York Attorney General Letitia James? It was announced last September, with a trial set for this October, and it’s not to be confused with the New York case that got him indicted the first time. But before that gets underway, though, James has done something that should remind the public about her case.

As per NBC News, James has asked the state supreme court to sanction Trump, his two oldest sons, others connected to the former president’s business, and their lawyers. Why? Because they keep raising, as per James’ filing, “previously-rejected arguments” in their motions.

The filing mentions five separate instances where Trump’s lawyers have offered reheated arguments that have already been shot down. These arguments, James’ office says, were “borderline frivolous even the first time defendants made them.” They also argue that a “sophisticated defense counsel should have known better” than to do that.

James’ office is asking for a total of $20,000.

For the case itself, James is seeking $250 million in penalties over Trump and team’s alleged efforts to inflate Trump’s personal net worth in order to attracted better loan agreements. She alleges that over a 10-year period they engaged in more than 200 instances of fraud.

On top of that, there are those four indictments. And Trump’s beloved Twitter clone is also in trouble. The poor guy sure could use a break. Alas, he wasted what could have been a relaxing Labor Day weekend by being angry on social media.

(Via NBC News)

Cruise life might have taken a hiatus in 2020 (along with everything else), but post-pandemic business is booming. There are more people embarking on cruises than even in 2019, according to the Cruise Lines International Association (TIME). And with overall prices that are lower than a lot of mortgages and rents, many folks opt to cruise full-time.

So…is it just the competitive prices calling us to sea? The promise of adventure, perhaps? Or is it simply the 24-hour buffet that makes it so intriguing?

A psychologist and cruise enthusiast has some compelling thoughts.

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In her essay written for Psychology Today, Mary McNaughton-Cassill, PhD, argues that while cruises “may not be for everyone,” they do provide many psychological benefits that improve our mental health.

For one thing, cruises offer the luxury of pure leisure time, which McNaughton-Cassill says “Americans are starved for.”

And she has a point. When was the last time you didn’t have to use up precious mental energy wondering how dinner was going to be taken care of, who would watch the kids, whether or not anything needs to be cleaned, etc., etc. Even on our regular “days off,” many of us just spend it catching up on ignored chores (aka “housework). In a world where burnout and errand paralysis are very, very real, it’s no wonder why having everything taken care of is a grand fantasy.

Second, McNaughton-Cassill explained that going on a cruise all but forces someone to be without their phone for a bit, which helps ease feelings of loneliness.

Loneliness might have been an issue exacerbated by the pandemic, but it certainly existed before that—and has been on the rise since the 1970s. We know that technology is a double-edged sword in this arena, offering us constant contact through endless pings and social media but often very little community.

But while out at sea, where wi-fi is hardly worth the high price, you can put the phone away without a second thought, and instead enjoy the simple pleasure of connecting with new people. Everyone from the staff to the servers to your fellow travelers get to know you by name, which is a stark contrast to the social cut-off-edness of “real life.”

And for the introverts for whom this scenario sounds like a nightmare, you have the permission to bask in the sweetness of your own thoughts during your social media detox…which honestly could probably still help with the loneliness thing.

Lastly, McNaughton-Cassill notes that going on cruises exposes us to two very therapeutic things most of us get too little of—music and nature. We know that both are good for our physical and mental well-being, and cruise travelers, as they soak up the sun, enjoy the ocean waves, listen to live bands and maybe even dance a little, are certainly exposed to all kinds of these natural remedies.

It makes sense that in our busy, jam-packed lives, the thought of getting multiple needs met all in one go would be attractive to many people. But even if that sweet cruise life isn’t the right fit for you, finding ways to actually relax, unplug and nourish the soul are so very important. Hopefully if reading this didn’t inspire you to buy a ticket, it at least reminded you to book that overdue massage or slip back in that favorite book for a few hours.

Last year, Soul Glo shared their explosive new album Diaspora Problems, whose relentless, eclectic brand of hardcore resembles that of New York’s beloved Show Me The Body. The Philly-based crew is back today with a fiery new track called “If I Speak (Shut The F*ck Up)” alongside a very NSFW music video full of dildos.

“’If I Speak’ is a song about channeling one’s voice and perspective through art or another creative expression,” bandleader Pierce Jordan said in a statement. “You can hear when people spend more time online than on their music. You can tell when people are more focused on a visual statement than a sound.”

Pierce’s shouts are vicious against the tumultuous instrumentation: “If I speak, I’m coming through elbows first; I’m finna spin your beak / If I speak, it’s me on everyone in this b*tch there will be no peace.” It was this brutality that gave Diaspora Problems its perfect punch, from the rapid-fire “Gold Chain Punk (Whogonbeatmyass?)” to the chaotic “Jump!! (Or Get Jumped!!!)((By The Future)).” All 12 tracks kept up the energetic momentum, while also managing to incorporate unpredictable twists and turns.

Watch the video for “If I Speak (Shut The F*ck Up)” above.

Barack Obama and Joe Biden go way back. Did you know the current president used to be vice president, under Barry? Strange but true. Since serving twice the length of the Trump administration, the two have remained good buds. Obama has even vowed to aggressively campaign for Joe’s second term starting this fall. But they’ve had their disagreements, including on how to swear.

As per HuffPost, a new book, Franklin Foer’s The Last Politician: Inside Joe Biden’s White House And The Struggle For America’s Future, recounts that Biden didn’t think Obama knew how to cuss right. Specifically he wasn’t great at spouting “f*ck you.” To him, Obama’s use of the cuss term lacked “the right elongation of vowels and the necessary hardness of his consonants.” That, Biden told him, “was how they must curse in the ivory tower.”

There are other cracks in the Biden-Obama bromance. One passage from Foer’s tome alleges that Obama didn’t always treat Biden great:

“Biden wanted to treat Harris with the respect that he felt Barack Obama hadn’t accorded him. He made a point of referring to her as the vice president, as opposed to my vice president. He was a stickler for asking her opinion in meetings—and making sure that her office was kept in the loop.”

Still, they remain close — close enough Biden once gave Obama a honey of a birthday present.

(Via HuffPost)

Stephen King is more than just the prolific author of horror doorstops. He’s also a dad joke hero, a champion of last year’s box office bomb Babylon, a top shelf dragger of Ted Cruz. None of that is what one would expect from the creator of The Shining and The Stand. Neither is this: King is a huge, huge fan of Lou Bega’s late ‘90s earworm “Mambo No. 5.” How big a fan? Enough that his passion for it almost got him divorced.

King spoke with Rolling Stone recently, in honor of his new novel Holly. In a bit teased out by The AV Club, the interviewer asked about his intense ardor for a song so cheesy that it inspired a solid Tracy Morgan sketch.

“Oh, yeah. Big time,” he said, adding, “My wife threatened to divorce me. I played that a lot. I had the dance mix. I loved those extended play things, and I played both sides of it. And one of them was just total instrumental. And I played that thing until my wife just said, ‘One more time, and I’m going to f*cking leave you.”’

Did his wife, Tabitha, who is still with him after over half a century of marriage, have a point? It’s up to you decide, though maybe the best way to revisit it is when it’s played over top a key scene from The Matrix.

(Via Rolling Stone and The AV Club)