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Woman uses photo of her dog to perfectly shut down the myth that rape is a woman’s fault

This is Briana “Bree” Wiseman, a pastry chef and restaurant manager from Tennessee.

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The 22-year-old shared a photo of her dog on Facebook next to a plate of food and it went viral — but not just because her dog is really, really cute. In the caption, Wiseman made a powerful statement about sexual assault, using her dog, and the plate of food, as a metaphor.

To the people that say women get raped due to the way they are dressed. This is my dog. His favorite food is steak. He…
Posted by Bree Wiseman on Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Wiseman wrote:

To the people that say women get raped due to the way they are dressed. This is my dog. His favorite food is steak. He is eye level with my plate. He won’t get any closer because I told him no. If a dog is better behaved than you are, you need to reevaluate your life. Feel free to share, my dog is adorable.

So far, over 325,000 people have shared the post. And thousands have left comments, most of them in full support of both the message, and the dog.

Wiseman told the Huffington Post she decided to share the post to take a stand against victim-blaming, in part because of her own experiences with sexual assault. She said:

The only person to blame in a rape offense is the rapist. It was their decision to rape. People shouldn’t have to worry about what they chose to wear for fear of rape. I want people to see that this is a problem, and to stand together against victim-shaming.

She continued:

If a 4-year-old pit bull understands the word no,’ even though he is looking at something he wants so bad he is literally drooling, then adults should understand ‘no,’ no matter how the other adult is dressed… How is it that a simple-minded animal has the ability to understand better than a large part of the adult population?

Good question. Although we already knew dogs are better than people. That being said, kudos to Wiseman for speaking up, and to her dog, for being such a good boy.

This article was originally published by our partners at someecards.

This article originally appeared on 04.16.19

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Pennsylvania man’s wilderness camera captures all walks of life crossing log bridge

Robert Bush Sr. is an avid outdoorsman who runs a Facebook page called “Bob’s Pennsylvania Wildlife Camera.”

He set up a secret camera on a log that lays across a steam to capture footage of all the different animals that walked across it. The result is a relaxing video featuring all sorts of wildlife including a black bear, chipmunk, coyote, turkey, and great horned owl.


Bush is very active recording wildlife videos, which he shares on his Facebook and YouTube pages.

In the introduction to his Facebook page he captures his philosophy that is welcoming to all, with a few ground rules:

“I love the outdoors and wildlife and I am not anti-hunting, this page is not about hunting and I will not post any hunting pictures or videos on this page, this page is about the wildlife in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Please do NOT post hunting pictures in the comments, and do not comment about killing the animals or about hunting at all, and do not bash hunters or talk about anti-hunting … just enjoy the videos.”

Well said, Robert. And now, on to the first video:

You may have noticed the video is called “The Log 2.” Well, here’s the original.

This article originally appeared on 02.28.20

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Dad’s sincere texts while buying pads for his daughter are a hilarious attempt to get it right

Sadly, a lot of men go out of their way to avoid learning anything about a woman’s period.

(That could be why throughout most of the United States — where the majority of lawmakers are men — feminine hygiene products are subject to sales tax.)

So we should give some love to the guys who make an effort to learn a bit about the menstrual cycle so they can help their family members when they’re in desperate need of feminine hygiene products.

Personally, as a guy, the feminine hygiene aisle can be a little intimidating. There are multiple brands, styles of products, scents, absorbency levels, and they are all color-coded.

What do the colors mean?


Knowing there’s a lot I don’t know, I take a picture on my phone of the box I’m about to purchase and send it to my wife, asking, “Is this the right one?”

A dad in the U.K. is getting some love on social media for the hilarious way he navigated the world of feminine hygiene products while showing how much he loved his daughter in the process.

It all began when Tia Savva sent her dad to Tesco, a popular U.K. drug store, to pick up some tampons.

funny dad stories, Tia Savva, dads

feminine hygiene, mal hygiene, family

tampons, menstruation, comedy

For all the guys out there that need a solid primer on what goes on in the feminine hygiene product aisle, this quick tutorial from Mel magazine does a pretty great job.

This article originally appeared on July 2, 2019

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Rick Astley covered Foo Fighters’ ‘Everlong’ and it’s shockingly great

Rick Astley has to be the luckiest ’80s musician on the planet. The whole “Rickrolling” phenomenon has given his hit song “Never Gonna Give You Up” a reach far beyond its natural life span, and kept the guy a household name far longer than he probably would have been.

(For those who are unfamiliar, Rickrolling is when you make someone think they’re being sent to a website, but the link goes to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” video instead as a joke. It’s a silly viral bait-and-switch gag that’s been going since 2006.)

But what people may not realize, because his most famous song has become an internet joke, is that Rick Astley is actually a really freaking great musician. The man can saaaang and it seems he’s only gotten better with age.


If you were to choose the most unlikely combo of musical mashups, it might just be Rick Astley and Foo Fighters. Right? Like who would put them together?

Oddly enough, they put themselves together in 2017, when Foo Fighters brought Astley on stage during a concert to sing “Never Gonna Give You Up.” Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl even created his own Rickroll-inspired meme, the Dave G’Roll, with the band’s song “Best of You.” So there’s a history there.

But nothing has been more surprising than hearing Rick Astley do an acoustic cover of Foo Fighters’ “Everlong.” It’s so good. Like, so good.

Not to knock Rick Astley of the 1980s, but that strangely deep voice on a young man was sort of his signature thing. Ergo, you’d think it would be easy to recognize Astley’s voice no matter what he was singing. But you’d be wrong. If you close your eyes and listen to this, you’d likely never guess it was Rick Astley.

Maybe it’s because the song itself isn’t something you expect from the “Never Gonna Give You Up” guy. Maybe it’s because you had no idea that Rick Astley was still making music. Who knows. All I know is that my jaw dropped watching him knock out an awesome version of a grungey rock song with just his voice and acoustic guitar.

Seriously, that was amazing, right? Even hardcore Foo Fighters fans gave Astley props in the comments:

“As a huge Foo Fighters fan, all I can say is this cover didn’t let me down.”

“Tbh I could listen to a whole album of Rick Astley doing grunge covers.”

“Are you kidding me?????? That voice from the 80’s… And one of the greatest numbers of all times…. Didn’t think you could pull that of…. But you did….. Respect to you Rick.”

And, of course, some had to make jokes:

“I love this cover. It feels like the singer is never going to give you up or never gonna let you down. He doesn’t run around and desert you. He will never make you cry and never say goodbye. He doesn’t tell a lie and hurt you. I think that is special.”

“This guy should stop making memes and stick to music! He’s got talent!”

“I’m glad he’s never given up. This did not let me down.”

But this comment perhaps best summed up what most of us walked away thinking:

“God now I feel bad that we’ve ridden on Rick Rolling for so long that we missed the part where Rick Astley is actually a badass musician…”

This article first appeared on 4.4.22.

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Will Taylor Swift’s ‘The Eras Tour’ Movie Be On Streaming?

About a month ago, Taylor Swift announced Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour, a new concert film that’s getting released in theaters on October 13. Based on our review of a concert, it’ll definitely be a cinematic experience. When that’s all said and done, though, it’d be nice to revisit the show at home. So, the question is: Will the movie be available on a streaming platform?

At the moment, the answer is not clear. Given that the theatrical release hasn’t even happened yet, as of this post, there is not currently any publicly announced information about a home release, whether that’s via DVD, Blu-ray, digital download, or streaming.

There’s a mixed precedent in terms of Swift movies on streaming. Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour and Miss Americana are on Netflix, Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions was released via Disney+, and City Of Lover streamed on Hulu and Disney+ for a limited time. Given that the Eras Tour movie is getting a proper theatrical release, though, we’re in uncharted territory, so it’s tough to say where it’ll end up when it comes to streaming, if it comes to streaming at all.

What we do know is that the theatrical experience is shaping up to be huge, if the broken ticket sales records are any indication.

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James Bond Almost Had A Much Different (And Much More Fun) First Name

Picture, if you will, an older man in your life, maybe a great uncle or your high school history teacher. What was his name? Ernest? Albert? Walton? All of these would work. But would it work if he was also a secret agent spy who loved to secure women while also driving fancy cars? Maybe! What if his name was… Rodney? That also fits the criteria. But would you trust a man named Rodney Bond to either save you from danger or educate you on foreign policy? Maybe! What if he was played by Sean Connery? That almost happened.

According to the upcoming book Ian Flemming: The Complete Man, the original James Bond was named Rodney Bond, after a man who saved Flemming’s brother Peter in 1941. Could you imagine 007’s name being three syllables instead of two? The world would be an entirely different place.

In the past, Flemming has claimed that he got the name from a real-life ornithologist, which is the fancy name for a bird expert. Who are we to believe?! There is really no concrete answer here, but Rod Bond would have been a fun nickname.

Obviously, people on the internet had jokes because that’s what the internet is for these days. But most of them revolved around The Simpsons because that’s also what the internet is for these days: reiterating Simpsons bits over and over until the world collapses. It’s been working so far!

Either way, it doesn’t matter what his old name is, because his new name is Joe Pera.

(Via Page Six)

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Tyga & YG’s ‘Hit Me When U Leave The Klub’: Everything To Know Including The Release Date, Tracklist & More

For months, Compton rappers Tyga and YG have been teasing a joint project to be released sometime this year, even announcing a co-headlining tour with fellow Californian (and YB’s rumored bae) Saweetie. Earlier this month, they revealed the title — Hit Me When U Leave The Klub — and today, they shared the release date, tracklist, and features. The project, which they are calling a playlist, is due this Friday, September 29, with guest appearances from Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne in addition to the previously released Blxst feature, “West Coast Weekend.”

Here’s everything we know about Hit Me When U Leave The Klub.

release date:

Hit Me When U Leave The Klub is due on 9/29 through Last Kings Music / 4Hunnid Records / EMPIRE.

tracklist:

01. “Rubber Band Man”
02. “Brand New” Feat. Lil Wayne
03. “Thumpin”
04. “Get Me Litt”
05. “Perk 10”
06. “Time For That”
07. “Choose Up”
08. “Big One” Feat. Busta Rhymes”
09. “I’m Tha Reason”
10. “West Coast Weekend”
11. “Party Tim3”
12. “Boachella”
13. “Platinum”
14. “FWU”

singles:

Previously released singles for the playlist include “West Coast Weekend” featuring Blxst, “Platinum,” and “Party Time”

Tour:

The Str8 To The Club Tour with Saweetie began in Sacramento on September 21, and will run through November 22 in Los Angeles with opening acts Kamaiyah and Wallie The Sensei. You can find more info and tour dates here.

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Howard Stern Thinks He Knows Why Donald Trump Went On That Bonkers Late-Night Social Media Rant About Him

Over the weekend, Donald Trump launched into a seemingly random late night rant about Howard Stern, who used to frequently interview the reality star before he inexplicably became President of the United States. While Trump’s tirade focused on Stern’s recent declaration that he’s proud to be woke, the shock jock has a good idea what Trump is really mad about.

“I never, ever thought anyone would care that I’m saying this,” Stern said (via Mediate) about his woke revelation. “It shocks me how the dumbest sh*t that I talk about becomes somehow news. It’s weird.”

However, that dumb sh*t was noticed by Trump, and Stern has a theory that somebody was jealous of the attention.

“My thought was — What? Imagine you got to be the 45th president of the United States and you’re sitting and writing about Howard Stern. Whether he’s woke,” Stern said. “You know, all of a sudden Trump saw me being discussed on all his conservative media things and he got charged up. And I’m disloyal? I stole the excitement for a minute or two.”

Trump also accused Stern of losing his friends, which also isn’t true. Despite having beef with Bill Maher last week, Stern revealed that he and the HBO host talked things out over the weekend. Crisis averted.

“I said to him basically at the end of the conversation, ‘I think what you do on HBO is so important.’ It was it was like the Writers Guild. We reached a tentative agreement,” Stern said. “So we’re back on on good terms.”

(Via Mediaite)

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‘SNL’ Is Expected To Return As Early As Next Month (But Who Will Host?)

The last new episode of SNL aired on April 15th. The long break is due to the usual summer hiatus, as well as three episodes being canceled due to the Writers Guild of America going on strike. So much time has passed, one of the most recent guest hosts is maybe, possibly dating Taylor Swift. But now that the WGA has reached a tentative agreement with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers after nearly 150 days on the picket lines, SNL could return as soon as early October.

Deadline reports that the sketch series “is now likely to return on either October 7 or 14, pending a vote by the WGA. Essentially, the WGA negotiating committee are expected to recommend the agreement and send it to the WGA West Board and WGA East Council for a vote, likely scheduled for Tuesday. This could potentially lift the restraining order and allow writers return to work as the deal is waiting to be ratified.”

The complicating factor here is if SAG-AFTRA remains on strike.

SNL, like the daily late-night shows and reality shows such as Dancing with the Stars, is covered under SAG-AFTRA’s Network Code, which means that theoretically everyone could come back to work. However, given SAG-AFTRA is still waiting to return to talks with the AMPTP and is still on strike, certain cast members may be unwilling to go back to work until that is resolved (which is thought to be at least 2/3 weeks away at the earliest).

SNL could try to find a workaround by hiring non-acting hosts. For instance, instead of Brie Larson coming on to promote Lessons in Chemistry, it could be someone like Drake, whose new album is set for release on October 6th. One thing’s for sure: Drew Barrymore won’t be hosting the first episode back.

(Via Deadline)

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Legitimately Tasty Flavored Whiskeys, Blind Tasted And Ranked

When it comes to flavored whiskey, I’m very on the record as a detractor. A bordeline hater, even. Look back at our coverage of flavored whiskeys and it’s not hard to parse that I haven’t been a fan of the genre over the years. But I have to say… that has gradually begun to shift.

There are simply some great flavored whiskeys these days and they deserve respect. To prove the point, I’m going to conduct a blind taste test of some newer flavored whiskeys to find a few that you might enjoy too.

Below, I’ve compiled 10 flavored whiskeys that range from classics to brand-new expressions. To be painfully clear here, there is some grey area when talking about “flavored” whiskeys. Some whiskeys are flavored with liqueurs or even sugar syrups. Others are flavored with wood blocks that are soaked in, say, honey or coffee. Some literally have coffee beans, honey, or citrus in the whiskey while it ages (you could theoretically call the bourbon vanilla in your baking drawer a flavored whiskey, FWIW).

Then you have the pre-made cocktail whiskeys (Ready To Drink or RTD adjacent bottles) that use sugars and “natural flavors.” These are flavored whiskeys but not necessarily called that — which makes zeroing in on a single clear-cut definition of “flavored whiskey” a little sketchier than the definitions for “straight bourbon” or “single malt Scotch whisky.”

For this, I’m looking at a little bit of everything. There are “natural flavor” whiskeys, whiskeys aged with flavor blocks, and even cocktail-ready whiskeys (that still need water), plus whiskeys flavored with actual ingredients.

Our lineup today features the following flavored whiskeys:

  • Dough Ball Cookie Dough Whiskey
  • Elvis Midnight Snack Peanut Butter, Banana & Bacon Flavored Whiskey
  • Garrison Brothers Lady Bird Texas Straight Bourbon Whiskey Infused with Honey and Finished in Cognac Barrels
  • Hotel Tango ‘Shmallow Toasted Marshmallow Bourbon
  • Starward (New) Old Fashioned Made with Starward Whisky, Tawny Port, Cacao Syrup & Bitters
  • Crown Royal Golden Apple Made with Whiskies Aged 23 Years
  • Stillhouse Black Bourbon Blended Bourbon Whiskey Mellowed in Coffee Beans
  • Ballotin Chocolate Whiskey Peanut Butter Chocolate
  • Duke & Dame Salted Caramel Flavored Whiskey
  • Jameson Orange Jameson Irish Whiskey with Natural Orange Flavors

After the tasting, I’m going to rank these. One factor that is crucial in flavored whiskey is “texture” or “mouthfeel.” While depth and balance are crucial, the texture of the flavored whiskey has become just as important and often what makes or breaks a great flavored whiskey. I’m also looking at how clearly the “flavor” presents — after all, this is the whole point.

Let’s dive in!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

Part 1 — The Flavored Whiskey Blind Tasting

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Taste 1

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose is very clearly cookies and cream with a hint of standard bourbon warmth permeating throughout the sweetness.

Palate: The palate is a deep and creamy cookie dough that meets cookies and cream Blizzard that’s been cut with a bourbon.

Finish: The creaminess creates a lush mouthfeel on the finish that lets the sweetness mellow as a hint of woody spice from the whiskey arrives at the very end.

Initial Thoughts:

Okay, I’m a big cookies and cream ice cream guy, so this is right up my alley. It’s not overly sweet (but it’s ~pretty~ sweet). The whiskey does come through, which is a nice touch.

Taste 2

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Banana powers through on the nose to the point of those yellow banana marshmallow candies you get in the discount aisle before a hint of cheap peanut butter sneaks in late.

Palate: The banana candy carries through on the palate in a strong way with smooth peanut butter (that’s still a bit candy-forward) before notes of whiskey spice arrive.

Finish: That whiskey spice blends with the bright and candied banana and peanut butter with the faintest hint of smoked bacon on the very end.

Initial Thoughts:

If that whisper of smoky bacon hadn’t arrived on the finish, this would have felt a little one-note — it’s so banana-forward. That means this offers a little something extra but it’s still very banana-heavy.

Taste 3

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This opens with a clear sense of a garden shop in springtime — fresh flowers, fresh bales of straw, and piles of ready-to-grow garden plants — next to the richest and clearest tobacco I’ve ever smelled on a nose before the dark whiskey kicks in with honey-laced dark chocolate bars speckled with brandy raisins and maybe some plum.

Palate: The whiskey truly shines through with dark winter spice in mulled wine with more of that honeyed dark chocolate over brandy-soaked cherries, figs, dates, and prunes next to a silky AF mouthfeel.

Finish: Milk Duds, honey from summer wildflowers, and cigars soaked in cognac drive the finish toward a lush and warm finish.

Initial Thoughts:

This is fantastic. It’s honeyed bourbon with the deepest depth so far. It’s also so luxurious that it’s like the purest and softest silk on your senses.

Taste 4

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Cotton candy dominates the nose with a very light sense of whiskey lurking in the background.

Palate: Cotton candy continues on the palate with a light sense of “red” flavoring that hints toward cherry before a moment of woody whiskey spice sneaks in.

Finish: That woody spice disappears on the finish and you’re left with red cotton candy.

Initial Thoughts:

This is very cotton candy sweet. It’s not bad, it’s just very one note.

Taste 5

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with a mix of fresh orange, dark cherry, and confit cherry tomatoes (very umami-forward) with a soft sense of well-aged whiskey with a touch of mulled wine spices.

Palate: The mouthfeel is extraordinarily lush with a sense of dark chocolate-covered espresso beans, botanical bitters, stewed cherry, and dark orange rinds.

Finish: The end just gets more and more lush with a deep sense of orange, brandy-soaked cherry dipped in good chocolate, and lovely whiskey vibes.

Initial Thoughts:

This is good. It’s balanced, deep, and has an amazingly polished mouthfeel.

Taste 6

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Fresh bushels of fall apples pop on the nose with a deep sense of Martinelli’s Apple Cider, Apple Jolly Ranchers, and apple juice concentrate with a hint of salted caramel and fall spice mixes.

Palate: Lush vanilla drives the palate back toward a bombardment of apples — stewed, candied, dried, cidered — with a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon next to whispers of old oak.

Finish: The caramel and spice create a foundation of even more apple on the finish.

Initial Thoughts:

This is an apple bomb that … works. There is depth here but that apple is so prominent that you could be forgiven for calling it “one note.”

Taste 7

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose is pure unaged corn whiskey and not much else.

Palate: Bitter espresso and more unaged corn whiskey and that’s about it.

Finish: The end feels like drip coffee cut with your granddad’s cheap bourbon.

Initial Thoughts:

This was the thinnest pour by far (so far). It was clearly coffee-flavored but that’s about it.

Taste 8

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This smells like a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on the nose with a hint of whiskey on the side.

Palate: That peanut butter cup dominates the palate with a lovely mouthfeel that’s soft and decadent next to a lightly spiced whiskey vibe.

Finish: The end stays true to the nose and palate and finishes with a creamy and vibrant Reese’s PB Cup feel through and through.

Initial Thoughts:

I’m also a pushover of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, so I dig the devotion to hitting that nail perfectly on its head.

Taste 9

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This is clearly salted caramel on the nose with a mild sweetness and a hint of vanilla and spice.

Palate: The palate is buttery and, well, full of salted caramel.

Finish: The end is very sweet but that sweetness stays attached to that caramel before getting a tad medicinal at the very end.

Initial Thoughts:

This is good and clear but kind of veers off into medicinal territory at the end.

Taste 10

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Nose: On the nose, the orange is more like a powdered orange drink with a hint of cinnamon candy thrown in.

Palate: The palate is largely the same with that fake orange drink vibe carrying on with a touch of minerality that’s more vodka than whiskey.

Finish: The finish is sweet and full of “orange” and “cinnamon” with a slight graininess and a touch of vanilla.

Initial Thoughts:

This never felt like a real orange — more like the can of orange concentrate juice you get out of the freezer section. And there wasn’t a whole lot else going on. It was also pretty thin all things considered.

Part 2 — The Flavored Whiskey Ranking

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

10. Stillhouse Black Bourbon Blended Bourbon Whiskey Mellowed in Coffee Beans — Taste 7

Stillhouse Black Bourbon
Bacardi

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $26

The Whiskey:

This starts off with a classic bourbon that’s aged in new oak and then charcoal-filtered before being re-barreled. Freshly roasted coffee beans are added to the new barrel as the whiskey continues to age. Finally, the whiskey is batched and proofed for canning (yes, this is presented in a can instead of a bottle).

Bottom Line:

This was the thinnest in both flavor and mouthfeel. I have to say I’d pass on this one.

9. Jameson Orange Jameson Irish Whiskey with Natural Orange Flavors — Taste 10

Jameson Orange
Pernod Ricard

ABV: 30%

Average Price: $21

The Whiskey:

This 2022 release from Jameson is built for old fashioned cocktail lovers. The Irish tipple in the bottle is cut down with natural orange flavors to mimic the orange in that cocktail. The juice is also cut down with plenty of water to bring it to a low proof of only 60.

Bottom Line:

This was so one-note on orange but never felt like a real orange in any way. That said, it was bolder than the last entry by a country mile on its flavoring. I’d pass on this. If someone brings you a bottle, mix it with fizzy water and garnish with a big orange slice and it’ll be totally fine.

8. Hotel Tango ‘Shmallow Toasted Marshmallow Bourbon — Taste 4

Hotel Tango 'Shmallow Toasted Marshmallow Bourbon
Hotel Tango

ABV: 30%

Average Price: $29

The Whiskey:

This bourbon whiskey is loaded with “natural flavors” from Indianapolis that are meant to mimic toasted marshmallows over the campfire.

Bottom Line:

This felt way more like cotton candy than toasted marshmallows. But those two sugar-based treats are so close that I can forgive that. So if you’re looking for a (very) sweet treat whiskey, this will be your jam.

7. Duke & Dame Salted Caramel Flavored Whiskey — Taste 9

Duke & Dame
Duke & Dame

ABV: 35%

Average Price: $24

The Whiskey:

This starts with a blend of 100% corn whiskeys with a couple of two-year-old bourbons. That whiskey is mixed with “natural flavors” of salted caramel to create the final product. Amazingly, they’ve made a sweet-flavored whiskey that only holds to 1 gram of sugar per serving as well.

Bottom Line:

This was a winner until the finish. That medicinal turn was a little out of character for me. That said, this is very clearly salted caramel and delivers in every other way.

6. Elvis Midnight Snack Peanut Butter, Banana & Bacon Flavored Whiskey — Taste 2

Elvis Midnight Snack
Elvis Whiskey

ABV: 35%

Average Price: $54

The Whiskey:

This is the new Elvis Whiskey from Tennessee. It is naturally flavored with peanut butter, banana, and smoked bacon.

Bottom Line:

This would have been lower on the list had it not been for that smoked bacon finish. That really elevated this into something more complex. That said, it is so banana-forward until that point that you’re really going to have to be patient to find that end note.

All of that said, if you’re looking for a banana-forward whiskey with more depth than your average banana whiskey, this is the one to get.

5. Crown Royal Golden Apple Made with Whiskies Aged 23 Years — Taste 6

Crown Royal Golden Apple
Diageo

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $299

The Whiskey:

This whiskey is a Canadian blend of 23-year-old barrels of Crown Royal’s famed apple whisky. That sounds incredible because it kind of is.

Bottom Line:

Apple, apple, apple! This gets a bump up because this is very complex while still being one note. What I mean by that is that it has so many different apple vibes going on with whisky notes that support that apple vibe that it just works.

I’d pour this over some rocks with a splash of club soda and be pretty happy about it. Or I’d make a hot toddy if the weather supported that.

4. Ballotin Chocolate Whiskey Peanut Butter Chocolate — Taste 8

Ballotin Chocolate Whiskey
Ballotin

ABV: 30%

Average Price: $25

The Whiskey:

This is whiskey blended with “all-natural” chocolate and peanut butter “flavors” to create a peanut butter cup whiskey.

Bottom Line:

This delivers it’s promise in spades. It’s so clearly a peanut butter cup whiskey from top to bottom. It’s also lush and feels like something to enjoy in many ways — over ice cream, in creamy cocktails, over some rocks.

3. Dough Ball Cookie Dough Whiskey — Taste 1

Dough Ball Cookie Dough Whiskey
Dough Ball Cookie Dough Whiskey

ABV: 35%

Average Price: $29

The Whiskey:

This California whiskey is made with natural flavors and caramel coloring to re-create a cookie dough vibe in whiskey form.

Bottom Line:

This is another whiskey that delivers on its promise (it almost over-delivers with cookies and cream and cookie dough). I can see drinking a few of these in a red cup over some shitty ice and not being mad about it for a second.

2. Starward (New) Old Fashioned Made with Starward Whisky, Tawny Port, Cacao Syrup & Bitters — Taste 5

Starward (New) Old Fashioned
Starward Whisky

ABV: 32%

Average Price: $34

The Whiskey:

Starward starts off with their award-winning red-wine-finished whisky to create a nearly ready-to-drink old fashioned. The whisky is juked with natural flavors of orange, bitters, and cherry to create a bespoke flavored whisky.

Bottom Line:

The mouthfeel on this one is spectacular. It’s so silky smooth with a truly deep flavor profile. It also really delivers a balanced sense of old fashioned flavor notes. All that you’ll need for this is a big ol’ rock.

1. Garrison Brothers Lady Bird Texas Straight Bourbon Whiskey Infused with Honey and Finished in Cognac Barrels — Taste 3

Garrison Brothers Lady Bird
Garrison Brothers

ABV: 57%

Average Price: $259

The Whiskey:

This Texas whiskey starts off with a batch of four- to five-year-old bourbons that are re-barreled in new barrels with honey-soaked oak cubes in the barrel. After nine months of resting, those barrels are batched and re-barreled again in French XO cognac casks for another three years of aging before bottling.

As a side note, $5 of every bottle sold is donated to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center which helps preserve indigenous wild plants around North America.

Bottom Line:

This was the deepest, boldest, and most delicious pour of flavored whiskey on the list by a country mile. It was also a luscious sip of whiskey that felt like silk from top to bottom. Pour this over a big rock and take your time enjoying all this has to offer.

Part 3 — Final on the Flavored Whiskeys

Flavored Whiskey Reviewed
Zach Johnston

I’d focus on the top five of this ranking. Those are the whiskeys that deliver the best options in the flavor and texture department. They also 100% deliver on what’s promised on the label.

Beyond that, the Garrison Brothers Lady Bird is beyond reproach. It’s a fantastic flavored whiskey and the clear winner of this blind panel. It’s fresh, funky, and so damn good. Yes, it’s pricey. But it’s so goddamn tasty that you’ll want another pour as soon as the first one’s drained.