Month: September 2023

“It may be the most important thing we do in life; learn how to love and be loved.”

At least, that’s according to Harvard psychologist and researcher Rick Weissbourd.

He’s been collecting data on the sex and love habits of young people for years through surveys, interviews, and even informal conversation — with teens and the important people in their lives.

Through it all, one thing has been abundantly clear:

“We spend enormous amount of attention helping parents prepare their kids for work and school,” Weissbourd says. “We do almost nothing to prepare them for the tender, tough, subtle, generous, focused work of developing mature healthy relationships. I’m troubled by that.”

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Now he and his team have finally compiled five years of intense research that asks the question, “What do young people really think about sex and love?”

And maybe just as important: “How should we be preparing them?”

Here are three major takeaways from the groundbreaking new report:

1. Hookup culture might just be a big ol’ myth.

Everybody’s hooking up with everybody these days, right? Not so fast.

The Harvard report presents a startling statistic from a related study in 2008. A group of college students in the U.S. were asked what percentage of guys on campus they thought had sex on any given weekend. They guessed about 80%. The reality? As low as 5%.

Weissbourd notes that because hookups are so culturally visible (especially in college) and gossiped about, it creates a perception that they’re a lot more common than they actually are.

The Harvard study itself found, in fact, that most young people are a lot more interested in sex within a committed relationship or, shockingly(!), things that don’t involve sex at all.

What it means for parents: We as adults, unfortunately, play a big role in this pervasive and harmful myth. “In every era there’ve been complaints about how sexually out of control kids are,” Weissbourd says. “It’s a story adults really love to tell.”

When we play up this stereotype, the study finds it can actually make young people less likely to seek advice or to talk about sex and relationships because they may feel inadequate or embarrassed about their lack of experience.

2. Sexual harassment and assault, however, remain huge, unaddressed problems.

“There are a significant number of young men out there who think that all they can’t do is rape someone,” Weissbourd says. “They can’t drag someone in an alley to rape them.”

What many of them have very little concept of, he says, is how harmful and dangerous behaviors like catcalling, pressuring, and coercion can be.

The study cites endless instances of girls being harassed at school, complaining to administration, staging walkouts; anything to get the problem addressed. But the “boys will be boys” attitude persists, and problems are often swept under the rug rather than tackled head-on.

A culture of sexual violence is harmful for obvious reasons, but the report also found these kinds of attitudes can bleed over into relationships that can “disproportionately involve females servicing males.”

What it means for parents: Talk. to. your. kids. about. consent.

“I was really surprised how many parents had not had basic conversations with their kids about things like consent, or how to avoid sexually harassing a person,” Weissbourd says.

We have to make it crystal clear to young people what kinds of behavior are and aren’t acceptable, and follow up those lines with real consequences. It’s the only way things are ever going to change.

3. Teens and young adults want more guidance than we’re giving them.

Most parents aren’t thrilled about having “the talk,” and admittedly, bringing up the topic of sex with a teen is no easy task.

But with all this dread and hand-wringing over how to talk about the birds and the bees, the Harvard report notes that many parents are overlooking a much bigger topic: love and relationships.

Roughly 70% of surveyed young adults reported wishing they had received more or better guidance on the emotional aspects of relationships, both from parents or from health class. But it’s not just a hindsight thing.

Many parents are overlooking a much bigger topic: love and relationships.

“The percentage of young people who want guidance on romantic relationships was encouraging,” Weissbourd says. “Kids light up when they are talking about love and what love is and what does it mean. That was surprising and really encouraging.”

What it means for parents: When you’re done teaching your teenager how to put a condom on a banana, make sure to spend some time talking about the day-to-day work that goes into building a healthy relationship.

That means going beyond platitudes. The Harvard team suggests diving into more complex questions like, What’s the difference between attraction, infatuation, and love? How can we be more attracted to people the less interested they are in us? Why can we be attracted to people who are unhealthy for us?

Those are questions some of us might not even have the answer to, but having the honest conversation with our kids is a major step in helping them learn how to love and be loved.

As Weissbourd says, it’s one of the most important things we’ll ever do.

The full report tackles even more and is jam-packed with must-know findings and statistics. It’s definitely worth a read.

This article originally appeared on 05.18.17

Being a mom can be challenging enough, but when you add in working full time and kids activities, it feels like you need a few clones to help you out. Recently we signed our youngest up for soccer, he’s 5-years-old and happens to be ten years younger than his closest sibling, so I’ve done the sports stuff.

At one point I was working full-time while my daughter took tap, ballet and jazz while also on a soccer team and my two older boys played soccer, baseball and football. We rarely saw the inside of our home unless it was to sleep, I’m not even sure I knew how my stove worked during those years. Now here we are starting all over again.

So when Mo, a mom running the TikTok page Rex & Mo posted a video ranting about how impossible it feels to add organized activities for kids into the mix, parents everywhere related, myself included.

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In the video, Mo explains that her oldest child recently started playing football and she’s finding the additional responsibility to be a bit much.

“Being a working mom with children that have extracurricular activities is unrealistic and just…it is so hard,” Mo says. “It just doesn’t even make sense. It just feels unsustainable, like how long am I going to be able to do this?”

She goes on to reveal her routine which includes going to work, picking up her younger kids from daycare, taking her son to football practice, then somehow finding time to feed and bathe the children. The mom didn’t mention homework but it’s safe to assume that is squished in there somewhere. It’s still early in the season so she may not be fully initiated to know that on game days parents rotate team snacks, including drinks. Other sports moms were quick to commiserate in the comments.

“I’m over her fighting for my life sis,” one woman writes.

“The joy I feel when they cancel a practice,” another mom shares.

“All I do is drive around ALL NIGHT LONG and eat dinner at 10 pm… hang in there mama,” someone says.

The amount of constant calculation it takes to get everyone where they need to be on time while also making sure things don’t fall behind is a sport in itself.

Watch the relatable rant below:

@rexandmo

S/O to my husband cause he work too & coaches but when i get home these HIS KIDS 😂😂😂 #rexandmo #fyp

Editor’s Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Libraries aren’t just a place to score free books. For many, they provide safe refuge.

This secondary offering has lately been overshadowed by political controversy, as there has been a laser focus from conservatives on the types of literature libraries provide, especially titles that pertain to LGBTQ and racial topics.

But one librarian’s retelling of a life saving encounter reminds us of how essential these community spaces really are—and it has nothing to do with books at all.

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Mychel Threets, who works at the Solano County Library in Northern California, has an entire Instagram and TikTok account dedicated to library life.

While his videos are quite often book reviews and tips, he also has plenty of his own inspiring stories involving patron interactions that show how libraries can be catalysts for human kindness.

Like this one:

@mychal3ts The library is where you belong, where you’ll ALWAYS belong 💚✨ #booktok #librarytiktok #storytime ♬ original sound – mychal

Recently Threets had been going about his regular chores, when he saw a patron who appeared to be homeless. Threets had greeted this person like he would anyone else, but, as many unhoused individuals are met with hostility, this person assumed Threets was trying to shoo him away.

“They start grabbing their bag, saying, I’m leaving, I’m leaving, I’ll go, okay,” Threets said. After Threets assured the person that “I want you to be here in the library,” and asked if they were okay, the patron replied “my brain hurts.”

Threets considered this statement as “an incredibly interesting way to say that you’re struggling with your mental health.”

As Threets continued to listen, the persons went on to say that a few days prior they had wanted to “unalive themselves” and “didn’t think anybody cared.” But because Threets and the rest of the Solano Library staff were kind to them, their feelings had changed.

Threets noted with enthusiasm that this exchange perfectly captured “the power of the library, of connection, of interrupting someone’s day with a simple greeting, with saying hi.”

Threets has even learned that this person had come to the library every week as a kid, and clearly still found the space to be a safe haven.

“That is a grown-up library kid who needs help, who needs someone to tell them that they belong,” he said. “I’m so proud that my library people made them feel welcome.”

Third spaces—that is, places to gather that aren’t work or home, like cafes, gyms, parks, malls, etc.—are already dwindling in America. The ones that do remain aren’t always free, and certainly are not always welcoming to everyone.

Libraries, however, are a third space that meet this criteria, and it’s partially why Americans continue to value the role public libraries play in their community. In a time when underfunding and culture wars threaten these vital spaces, it’s important to remember the true service they provide.

As Threets eloquently put it. “That’s all that we’re trying to do in this world together is exist…. Come to the library where you belong.”

When founder Zack Gazzaniga decided to start his own tortilla chip company, Zack’s Mighty, his mission was to create a delicious chip that didn’t break in guacamole.

His quest to create the perfect chip took him to Italy, where he acquired Otto File flint corn (a very flavorful variety of flint corn now mostly grown in Italy for polenta), and then back to the U.S. to plant and grow it.

When connecting with farms to partner with to grow the corn, Zack began learning about regenerative agriculture and its benefits for the soil and climate. “Regenerative agriculture made so much sense to me that I decided then that this would be a pillar of our business and a mandate that everyone who grows our corn follows regenerative practices,” he says.

Regenerative agriculture combines conservation and rehabilitation practices to improve farmland soil and combat climate change. These practices include less tillage, crop rotation, cover cropping, and composting.

One of the farmers Zack connected with to grow organic and regenerative corn was Bryce Irlbeck in Manning, Iowa. “We began [fully] regenerative farming in 2019, but have been doing different aspects such as cover cropping and crop rotation for 10 years.”

Bryce’s farm in Iowa was one of Zack’s Mighty’s partner farms that spent two years in partnership with A Greener World, evaluating farm standards, plans, and auditing procedures to receive Certified Regenerative certification. This certification provides a whole-farm assurance of regeneration and sustainability, measuring benefits for soil, water, air, biodiversity, infrastructure, animal welfare, and social responsibility. As of August 2022, all of Zack’s Mighty partner farms were officially certified.

Bryce’s advice to farmers looking to begin regenerative practices is to first “focus on figuring out a [crop] rotation since each area of the country will be different due to markets and weather patterns.”

Zack’s Mighty is thrilled to have cultivated a supply chain that uses organic ingredients and Certified Regenerative corn — ensuring its customers can be proud to align their values with their purchase.

“Our mission to make the best tortilla chip on the market starts with our ingredients and how they are produced. We want to assure our customers that we value transparency and source only high-quality ingredients to create delicious products that are truly good for the planet,” says Zack.

What is the cure for loneliness?

One might be tempted to say close, intimate relationships. Which is true to a certain degree, but as counterintuitive as it may seem firsthand, those more distant friendships can be just as meaningful.

In fact, according to friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson, those in our outer circle can contribute even more to our happiness than our besties.

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Bayard Jackson is a go-to source when it comes to creating healthy, fulfilling platonic friendships. Her advice has been featured in the “New York Times”, “Wall Street Journal,” “Washington Post” and “Psychology Today,” just to name a few.

Being an expert in the realm of close bonds, it might come as a surprise that Bayard Jackson touted the benefits of what she calls “weak ties” in a recent video posted to her TikTok page. But she brings up some great points.

“There are close friends, and then there are… acquaintances, associates,” she explains. “The sociological term for people who are not our besties, but with whom we have, like, pleasant enough relationships is weak ties. Those are people who you enjoy, but who you see more infrequently and you have less intimacy with.”

For example—coworkers, parents you only see at certain school functions, neighbors, maybe even classmates. The NPCs of your life, if you will. We might not consider these people close friends, but they still play a vital role to our wellbeing, Bayard Jackson attests.

“According to research, people with more weak ties are happier and are less likely to have depression,” she said, adding that people with a lot of weak ties have more access to resources and critical information needed to improve their life.

@thefriendshipexpert

The beauty of “weak ties”

♬ original sound – Danielle Bayard Jackson

Not only that, but those with a bigger friend circle receive a wider variety of perspectives, “making them feel like their world is bigger,” as well as affirmation for the “various aspects of their intersectional identities,” meaning they probably “feel seen” more often.

In other words—“close friends are not the only kind of relationships that offer value to your life.”

Some of the research Bayard Jackson alludes to might include that of sociologist Mark Granovetter, who first began pioneering the theory that weak ties could strengthen job opportunities, since they introduce new ideas and broaden one’s social network.

Subsequent studies on the subject have confirmed that, regardless of nationality or age, weak ties also help one feel a sense of belonging, and contribute to a sense of emotional well being.

It’s an interesting take, especially coming during a time when it might feel like weak ties are all we have, thanks to social media. After all, most of us are probably much more likely to comment on an audience’s Instagram post than we are to actually call up a close friend to have an hour long in depth conversation.

via GIPHY

But it’s also undeniable that outside of the social media watering hole, our weak tie friendships might have severely dwindled during the pandemic, and have probably continued to go unfostered as we’ve navigated a shift towards working from home. Maybe this is partially due to the fact that we haven’t acknowledged how important they are.

It’s not often that quantity trumps quality, but this seems to be one of those rare cases. If we really want to start feeling less lonely, and a little bit better about ourselves, we might want to consider putting the effort into strengthening those weak ties. Luckily, it doens’t have to be that hard.

As Bayard Jackson suggests, “stop giving a stank face to your neighbors and your coworkers and those people who stand next to you at the dog park, and instead, I need you to start saying hello. Because it will be worth it.”

A paparazzo caught actor Jennifer Garner performing a touching act of kindness. Instead of being annoyed at having the moment filmed by the photographer, she asked him to help.

Garner was at the beach in Santa Monica, California, handing out bags of necessities to the homeless when she came across a man in a wheelchair who had no socks or shoes. Garner took the socks off her feet, gave them to the man and then attempted to hand over her shoes, but they were too small.

Garner then briskly walked over to the photographer filming her and asked him for assistance.

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“What size feet do you have?” she asked the photographer repeatedly. “Can I buy your shoes for him? He needs a shoe.” When the random paparazzo asked what size feet the homeless man was, Garner replied, “10 and a half.”

@pinklover1969

Jennifer Gardner lead with kindness … takong the time to help out a homeless man in LA. Her shoes must not have fit because she rushed over to the photographer and offered to buy his shoes. #kindness #jg #jennifergarner #homelessman #spreadlove #alwayshelpothers #hockeyhelpsthehomeless #fyp #tmznews #trending #foryou

“Oh, I’m 11! Want me to give it to him? I can give it to him,” he responded, adding that Garner didn’t have to pay him for the shoes. The photographer had a blanket to give to the homeless man as well.

When Garner came across the man in the wheelchair, she was handing out plastic bags filled with necessities, similar to those Upworthy reported on in March of 2022. Garner created a viral video for Instagram that showed how the average person could make bags to give a “random act of kindness” to someone in need.

The underlying message of the post is that with a bit of forethought and preparedness, we all can help people experiencing homelessness.

See on Instagram

“Gather these essentials in a quart-sized Ziploc bag and keep them in your car to give away when you see someone in need,” she wrote on the post before listing some items that can really help a homeless person get through the day. “A pair of thick socks. Kleenex. Hand wipes. Disposable toothbrushes. Chapstick. A couple of granola bars. I forgot this time, but like to add feminine hygiene products, too. Add $5, $10, $20 and a smile.”

Homelessness has steadily risen in the United States by about 6% yearly since 2017. According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, roughly 421,000 people were homeless in 2022, and nearly 128,000 were chronically homeless, meaning they didn’t have a place to stay for a year or more.

The rise in people on the streets is distressing, and we all hope our leaders can get together to stop the steady increase. But until then, we are all called to do what we can to help alleviate the suffering we see on the streets.

Garner is a beautiful example of taking direct action to make the world a better place. Whether she calls a senator to help pass gun control legislation, buys boxes of books to help school teachers, or helps the homeless, her philosophy seems pretty simple. If you see something wrong, do something. It’s everyone’s responsibility to make the world a better place.

Christopher Grady, a father and teacher from Toronto, was struggling with anxiety and depression. That’s when he started drawing.

He describes his early cartoons and illustrations as a journal where he’d chronicle everyday moments from his life as a husband, elementary school teacher, and father to two kids.

“I needed a positive place to focus all my thoughts and found that when I was making comics I felt a little bit better,” he says.

He began putting a few of his comics online, not expecting much of a response. But he quickly learned that people were connecting with his work in a deep way.

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The comics series called Lunarbaboon was born, and the response to the first few was so powerful that Grady was inspired do more with his comics than just document his own experience.

“I began getting messages from many people about how they connected to the comics and it gave them hope and strength as they went through their own dark times,” he says.

“When they look back…they probably won’t remember what was said…or where you were when you said it. They may not remember any details of your time together. But they will remember that you were there…and that’s what matters most.”

“Usually the circle of people we can support, help, influence is limited to our families, friends, coworkers, random stranger at the bus stop, but with my comic I suddenly found my circle of power was much much larger,” Grady explains. “I guess I decided to use this power for good.”

Grady continued to draw, making a point to infuse the panels with his own special brand of positivity.

“Kids are always watching adults and they look to the adults as role models,” he says. “I try to show (my kids and students) that even with all my flaws and weaknesses I am still a good person and I can still make a positive change in the world.”

Lunarbaboon comics tackle huge, important subjects with an effective, lighthearted touch that you can’t help but smile at.

Check out Grady’s take on teaching his son about consent. (All images by Christopher Grady/Lunarbaboon, used with permission.)

Here’s one about parents being supportive of a gay son or daughter.

On raising girls in a patriarchal world.

And here’s a sweet one about appreciating the heck out of his wife.

Big topics. Important issues. Grady tackles them with humility and ease.

As Lunarbaboon has continued to grow, Grady says the messages of support he gets have become increasingly powerful.

He certainly doesn’t claim to have all the answers to all the complexities of parenting, but he does say that “people like knowing they aren’t alone in life’s daily struggles. Most people who contact me just want to say thank you for putting something positive into the world.”

Grady doesn’t expect his Lunarbaboon comics to fix rape culture or end bigotry. He just hopes his message of love, inclusion, and positivity continues to spread.

“My hope is that for the short time people read it they smile and feel good,” he says. “Then I hope they take that good feeling and smile into the world and make it slightly brighter.”

You can check out even more of Grady’s awesome work over on his website or in his newly published book.

This article was originally published on November 30, 2017.

Australia is sending a strong message to domestic abusers worldwide: You’re not welcome here.

Australia has recently broadened a migration law to bar any person who has been convicted of domestic violence anywhere in the world from getting a visa to enter the country. American R&B singer Chris Brown and boxing star Floyd Mayweather had been banned from the country in the past, following their domestic violence convictions. Now the ban applies to all foreign visitors or residents who have been found guilty of violence against women or children.

Even convicted domestic abusers who already have visas and are living in Australia can be kicked out under the new rule. The government is using the rule, which took effect on February 28, 2019 to send a message to domestic violence perpetrators.

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“Australia has no tolerance for perpetrators of violence against women and children,” Federal Minister for Immigration, Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs David Coleman said in a public statement. “The message is clear: if you’ve been convicted of a violent crime against women or children, you are not welcome in this country, wherever the offence occurred, whatever the sentence.”

The ban is supposed to make Australia safer, but not everyone is happy about it.

“By cancelling the visas of criminals we have made Australia a safer place,” Coleman said. “These crimes inflict long lasting trauma on the victims and their friends and family, and foreign criminals who commit them are not welcome in our country.”

However, Australia’s neighboring country of New Zealand has long taken issue with Australia’s policy of exporting convicts, and this new policy highlights why. Under the new rule, New Zealanders who have already served their sentences for domestic violence and lived in Australia most of their lives could be kicked out and sent to live in New Zealand. Such circumstances raise questions about when justice has been served and the role of rehabilitation in domestic violence convictions.

Australia, like many other countries, is trying to come to terms with its domestic violence problem.

Barring domestic violence perpetrators from other countries sends a strong message, but it’s only meaningful if the country also tackles the problem among its own citizens. According to a Personal Safety Study conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, about 17% of Australian women and 6% of Australian men have experienced partner violence since the age of 15. And the numbers have remained relatively stable since 2005.

That may seem to indicate that little progress has been made; however, as Australian law professor Heather Douglass points out, the numbers only tell part of the story. Since most people in abusive relationships don’t report the abuse until after they’ve left, it could simply be that more are leaving, which is a good thing. There has also been a marked increase in people seeking domestic violence services in some areas, which, again, is a good thing. For far too long, domestic violence was swept under the rug while victims were often too afraid or embarrassed to seek help. More calls for help could mean that the stigma associated with domestic violence is starting to fade.

This story originally appeared on 04.01.19

After a week without any ranked matchups on the schedule, Week 4 brings a half dozen ranked showdowns in college football in what appears to be one of the best Saturdays of the season. Whether it lives up to the billing remains to be seen, but each window throughout the day features some tasty matchups and we should learn an awful lot about many of the teams in or around the top-25.

Florida State (-2.5) at Clemson, 12:00 p.m. ET (ABC)

The Noles almost got caught sleepwalking on the road against Boston College, and it’s fair to wonder if they had an eye already on this trip to Clemson. It’s the first time the Tigers have been home dogs since 2016 — the legendary Lamar Jackson-Deshaun Watson showdown — and you’d be hard pressed to find two teams that had more different vibes around them after the first week of the season. That said, last week took a little shine off of FSU, while Clemson’s taken care of business and seems to be finding a bit of footing. As such, this should be a fascinating game no matter what the outcome, whether it’s close throughout or a blowout, and will likely command main screen attention from most in the noon slate.

Auburn (+8.5) at Texas A&M, 12:00 p.m. ET (ESPN)

Texas A&M desperately needs this win after what happened down in Coral Gables to open the season, but Auburn’s offense has been humming under Hugh Freeze. Given how leaky the Aggies looked against Miami, we’ll see if they’ve shored things up as they play their first big home game of the season against the Tigers, who will challenge them in a big way on the ground. The good news is, A&M’s offense has looked pretty good throwing the ball and this is a game that could see some real fireworks in College Station.

Oklahoma (-14) at Cincinnati, 12:00 p.m. ET (FOX)

Few teams have looked as dominant to start the season as the Sooners, but now they’ll take it on the road for the first time against a Cincinnati team that seems to have taken a step back. In theory, this shouldn’t be stressful for Oklahoma, but it also feels like the right type of game for folks to be wondering what the hell’s going on at Nippert Stadium in the second half when they scan the scoreboard and see the Sooners locked in a tight one. On the other hand, if Oklahoma can go on the road and take care of business in a big way, that will be very telling of how competitive this squad could be.

Colorado (+21) at Oregon, 3:30 p.m. ET (ABC)

It’s not often the game everyone wants to see features a three-touchdown spread, but Colorado’s biggest test of the season arrives in Eugene this weekend as Coach Prime once again takes his show on the road. Travis Hunter’s absence takes away from this one a bit and is part of why this line has stayed up at 21, as not having their most dynamic player on both sides of the ball makes this a very difficult task for the Buffs. Still, Shedeur Sanders has looked great through three weeks and showed last week how resilient he is, and the Ducks will have a real test on the defensive side of the ball. Where Oregon figures to have the big advantage is when their offense is on the field, as they should simply out-athlete the Buffs and Bo Nix should have a huge game to vault himself back up into the Heisman mix. The biggest concern for Oregon offensively is Nix’s occasional willingness to get loose with the football, as the one thing Colorado has been good at defensively to start this season has been capitalizing on turnover opportunities. If Nix provides those for the Buffs, this could get fun. If he plays smart, one would think the Ducks cruise.

UCLA (+3.5) at Utah, 3:30 p.m. ET (FOX)

The other big Pac-12 showdown in the midday window is in Salt Lake, and while it won’t draw as much attention, it should be the more competitive game. Dante Moore looks legit under center for UCLA, but playing on the road against this Utah defense is about as tough as it gets. The Utes are expected to get starting QB Cam Rising back for this game, which is a big boost given how bad their QB situation looked at Baylor two weeks ago when they escaped with a win — although the change to Nate Johnson has seemingly made them more dynamic. This could be a fun one, provided Moore is up to the task on the road, and I’d expect the outcome to be in the balance late in the fourth.

Ole Miss (+7) at Alabama, 3:30 p.m. ET (CBS)

Jalen Milroe is back under center for Alabama after their tryout last week for the backups against USF resulted in one of the saddest performances of the Nick Saban era. With the Tide looking as vulnerable as ever, in comes old friend Lane Kiffin and an Ole Miss squad that has been all over the place in its first few games, providing some of the early bad beats of the year for gamblers with their slow starts followed by aggressive scoring in the fourth quarter. We’ll see what Lane has cooked up for a very solid Tide defense, and whether some stability for Milroe means the Alabama offense finally settles in.

BYU (+9.5) at Kansas, 3:30 p.m. ET (ESPN)

I’d keep an eye on the score in Lawrence, where the Jayhawks are hosting BYU. The Cougars are fresh off a win at Arkansas and will be looking to pull back-to-back road upsets in the midwest. Given the way Kansas plays and how last week went for BYU, this game could feature some wild swings and big plays on both sides, so if some of the marquee matchups fall flat, this could be a nice fallback.

Louisiana Tech (+20.5) at Nebraska, 3:30 p.m. ET (Big Ten Network)

Just keep an eye on the scoreboard here. Nebraska’s a catastrophe and they lost to Georgia Southern in this exact spot a year ago. Maybe they can get a much needed, easy win here, but it would be very funny (for non-Huskers) if this was a tight one late.

Oklahoma State (+3.5) at Iowa State, 4:00 p.m. ET (FS1)

I know this is a watch guide, but this game is listed as a PSA to not turn it on. You might be tempted, thinking this could be a fun matchup if you haven’t tuned in to a game featuring these teams this year, but this is for real sick puppies only (like me) who want to see the worst possible offensive performance and some hilarious mistakes made by both teams.

Oregon State (-3) at Washington State, 7:00 p.m. ET (FOX)

The first ever ranked matchup between Oregon State and Wazzu, and it’s coming in the last year of the Pac-12’s existence. I’m sure there will be a lot of borderline obnoxious talk on the broadcast about how awful the situation is for the two programs (when FOX and ESPN hold much of the blame for the Pac-12’s demise), but the football should be really good. Oregon State’s defense has looked quite good to start the season, but they’ll get a stern test from a Wazzu offense that can move it up and down the field (and has proven it can do so against a team like Wisconsin). How D.J. Uiagalelei performs on the road will likely determine how this game goes, but I also expect things to get just a little weird between these two.

Appalachian State (+3) at Wyoming, 7:00 p.m. ET (CBS Sports Network)

Each week I try to highlight my favorite non Power-Five matchup, and this week we are headed out to Laramie where the wind will be howling and a couple of teams that like to impose their will physically will get after each other. This has the chance to be a real slobberknocker, and while it shouldn’t be a shootout, I also think it could just be a really good watch (with some great aesthetics as these two teams have great uniforms).

Ohio State (-3.5) at Notre Dame, 7:30 p.m. ET (NBC)

The biggest game of the day, based on rankings, will be in South Bend where Ohio State rolls into town with a young QB making his first road start as a favorite. That is going to be fascinating to watch because, up until last week, the Buckeyes offense had not looked like the dominant unit we’ve come to expect from that program. However, with Kyle McCord being handed the keys officially, they dusted Western Kentucky and maybe got back on the tracks. Now they have to go into hostile territory against a good Notre Dame team with the best quarterback the Irish have had in over a decade in Sam Hartman and prove last week wasn’t a mirage. On the other side, the Irish have looked very solid this year and showed their road chops at NC State, but the Buckeyes are an entirely different test. We’ll see if they can keep up with Ohio State’s athletes and if Hartman can keep cooking against a stout defense that will shrink those passing windows.

Iowa (+14.5) at Penn State, 7:30 p.m. ET (CBS)

The other big ranked matchup in the night slate is another Big Ten showdown, this time seeing Iowa head on the road to Penn State. The Nittany Lions came into the season with high expectations and have played very solidly to start the season with Drew Allar under center, but also maybe haven’t been as dominant as you’d like a team with legit Big Ten title aspirations. Iowa coming into town presents an interesting test and an opportunity. We know the Hawkeyes are a great defensive team with a, let’s just say, subpar offense. If Penn State can avoid turnovers, which Iowa is great at forcing, they could make a statement in the Big Ten. But if Allar struggles in potentially inclement weather against the Iowa defense and this thing becomes a grind it out slugfest, that falls into Iowa’s preferences — and will be to the detriment of my colleague Bill DiFilippo’s mental and physical health. (ed. note: This is Bill, and Drew is going for 450 and 5 TDs. Go State.)

North Carolina (-7.5) at Pitt, 8:00 p.m. ET (ACC Network)

Pitt looked awful last week in the Backyard Brawl. UNC looked good against Minnesota at home. As such, I expect shenanigans in the big ketchup bottle.

UCF (+4.5) at Kansas State, 8:00 p.m. ET (FS1)

K-State couldn’t get out of Mizzou’s (or its own) way last week and Will Howard is banged up, so I’m interested to see if they can bounce back here against a good UCF team that’s without its quarterback, as John Rhys Plumlee is out for a bit with his own injuries.

Cal (+20.5) at Washington, 10:30 p.m. ET (ESPN)

You can pick your Heisman contender QB to watch in the late night window, but I just can’t advise anyone watch Arizona State play football right now. They’re missing a ton of guys, including their QB, and got absolutely smoked by Fresno last week, so I fear what Caleb Williams will do to them. As such, I’ll check in on Michael Penix Jr. and Washington to see if he can continue being a buzzsaw against a Cal team that popped in Week 1, only to look really mediocre since. Maybe they can find some form again with star running back Jaydn Ott back in the lineup, but if not this might be a nice “watch one half and go to bed” Saturday night.

Joe Budden is setting the record straight about his rumored feud with Cardi B, and retracted his past comments about her song “Bongos,” during a recent episode of The Joe Budden Podcast.

“I don’t click on things when they can hurt me emotionally,” he said. “Cardi is my girl, so when the headlines is, ‘Cardi B Tears Into Joe Budden’ — come on, man. That hurts. That hurts my heart.”

“And I wouldn’t have been saying that directly to Cardi because I f*ck with Cardi,” Budden added. “I was talking to a few of you other people, but now I have to address the Cardi sh*t.”

A few weeks ago, Budden had upset the Bronx rapper by saying her collab with Megan Thee Stallion sounded like a “science project,” according to HipHopDX.

“I hate the song,” he shared. “It’s not better than any of the songs like it. ‘WAP,’ ‘Up,’ it’s not better than Cardi B feature. This is Cardi getting ready to follow-up her debut album… They not gonna spend the money to keep this rolling into the fourth and first quarter.”

Cardi eventually heard about Budden’s thoughts and shared some of her own during an Instagram live. “I just feel like he has an issue with me,” Cardi said. “And it was beyond the critique of ‘Bongos’ — it’s just you inviting b*tches who said the rudest, nastiest sh*t… when Mal and Rory say f*ck sh*t about you, you get so defensive and you want to clear it up.”

Still, it’s good that the two were able to clear things up.

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