There is a growing trend online and in therapists’ offices that is a backlash against the toxic positivity of the body positivity movement: body neutrality. This new perspective takes a neutral view of our bodies and encourages people to stop saying they are “good” or “bad,” “ugly,” or “gorgeous,” but that they just are.
“Body neutrality means taking a neutral perspective towards your body, meaning that you do not have to cultivate a love for your body or feel that you have to love your body every day. You may not always love your body, but you may still live happily and appreciate everything your body can do,” Very Well Mind writes.
Mother Caroline Hardin shared a great example of body neutrality on TikTok recently. In a post that received over 100,000 views, She shared a note she secretly handed to her daughter’s pediatrician at a recent appointment.
“Trying something new at the pediatrician will report back how it goes,” Caroline began in her video before revealing a handwritten note she gave to the doctor.
Don’t judge my handwriting i was writing in the car on top of a captain underpants book lol #bodyneutrality #bodypositiveparenting
@general.caronobi Don’t judge my handwriting i was writing in the car on top of a captain underpants book lol #bodyneutrality #bodypositiveparenting
The note reads:
“Doctor. When discussing my child’s weight and/or BMI, please refrain from using qualitative words like ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ We have managed so far to keep a body-neutral and body-positive environment for her childhood, and I appreciate your cooperation in preserving that for as long as we can.”
The unfortunate underlying message to the note is that Caroline’s daughter will one day have to exist in a world where her body is scrutinized. Every opportunity the mom has to delay that eventuality is a positive step for her development.
In a subsequent video, Caroline noted that the visit to the doctor went off perfectly.
Replying to @Caroline we will continue to take it one year at a time but we made it through this year’s checkup unscathed! #bodyneutrality #bodypositiveparenting
@general.caronobi Replying to @Caroline we will continue to take it one year at a time but we made it through this year’s checkup unscathed! #bodyneutrality #bodypositiveparenting
“We made it back home, and I’m happy to report that it went really well. The nurse made no comment when she was weighing my kid,” Caroline recalled. When the pediatrician popped in, she had a growth curve without any numbers that she was able to show to Caroline and her daughter. The doctor even used an age-appropriate way of describing the daughter’s health. “Your body is growing exactly how it wants to grow. Hooray!” she said.
“There were no discussions about restricting sugar or restrictions at all,” Caroline added. “So, my kids’ takeaway was that the doctor noticed her nail polish and that she got to tell her she has 8 friends.”
The video received much praise from women who wished they could have enjoyed a body-neutral childhood. “You legit just healed some of my soul. Thank you for this!!!” katmc52384 wrote in the comments. “Looovvveee this. Couldn’t figure out how to head it off without embarrassing my kid. Thank you!!” Carter added.
Caroline is happy that she found a way to take her daughter to the doctor without introducing her to the pain of body stigmatization. She also shared a way for parents everywhere to address a tricky situation without their children being alerted to our culture’s toxic perceptions of bodies and beauty.