After burning through nominees, House Republicans surprisingly managed to elect a new Speaker of the House this week: Louisiana Congressman Mike Johnson. If you’re wonder who the heck that is, you’re not alone. During his Wednesday night monologue, Stephen Colbert went to town on the mysterious man who’s now just a few steps removed from the presidency.
“America’s new Speaker of the House is Louisiana Congressman Mike Johnson, seen here ogling the photographer’s crotch,” Colbert said while tossing up a creepy picture of the new House Speaker. “His make is Mike Johnson? Mike Johnson, that is a name. He is the most generic sounding congressional leader since the election Speaker James Kirkland Brand.”
Colbert then took a shot at the GOP for actually managing to put their petty differences aside for a moment, but mostly, The Late Show host set up a solid joke about Lauren Boebert.
Who the heck is Rep. Mike Johnson?#Colbert pic.twitter.com/W1cUMbzRut
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) October 26, 2023
“Johnson was just elected this afternoon, getting votes from all 220 Republicans. Finally!” Colbert quipped. “A man who appeals to all factions of the Republican party: The MAGA faithful, the social conservatives, the white nationalists, and the horny Beetlejuice goblins.”
However, Colbert couldn’t help but get stuck on the fact that nobody seems to know who the heck Johnson is, including the media.
“Johnson is now second in line to the presidency,” Colbert said, “Prompting news outlets to triumphantly proclaim ‘Who Is Rep. Mike Johnson?’ ‘Who Is Mike Johnson?’ ‘Who Is Speaker Nominee Mike Johnson?’ and ‘5 Secrets to Reduce Belly Fat, Also, Who The Hell Is Mike Johnson?’”
“So he’s a little innocuous. He’s just another boring white guy in a suit with glasses,” Colbert joked before having a terrifying realization. “Wait, a second. Put him up again. — Am I Mike Johnson?!”
(Via The Late Show on Twitter)