Month: October 2023

This article originally appeared on 06.15.16

To a stranger I met at a coffee shop a few years ago who introduced me to what my life as a parent would be like:

My “welcome to black fatherhood moment” happened five years ago, and I remember it like it happened yesterday.

I doubt you’ll remember it, though — so let me refresh your memory.

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It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Los Angeles in 2011, and I decided to walk my then 3-month-old daughter to the corner Starbucks. That’s when I met you — a stylish older white woman who happened to be ahead of me in line.

You were very friendly and offered up many compliments about how cute my daughter was, and I agreed wholeheartedly with you. She’s cute.

But after you picked up your drink, you delivered this parting shot:

“No offense, but it’s not often that I see black guys out with their kids, but it’s such a wonderful thing,” she said. “No matter what happens, I hope you stay involved in her life.”

And then you put on your designer sunglasses and left.

Meanwhile, I was like…

Here’s the thing: I’m not angry with you, but I want you to understand the impact you had on my life.

Do I think you’re a mean-spirited racist? No, I don’t. Actually, I bet you’re a really nice lady.

But let’s be real for a second: Your view on black dads was tough for me to stomach, and I want you to know a few things about what it’s really like to be me.

1. I want you to know that we have challenges that other dads don’t experience.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh boy — let me brace myself while he ‘blacksplains’ how hard his life is while shaming me for ignoring my white privilege.”

But that would be missing the point. We all have our challenges in life, and I’m not about to bring a big bottle of whine to a pity party.

Instead, as you probably know, today’s dads are trying to shed the stigma of being clueless buffoons.

But black dads have an additional obstacle to hurdle in that we’re often seen as completely disinterested in fatherhood. Trust me, it gets old when people automatically assume you’re not good at something because of the color of your skin.

Our encounter was the first of many examples of this that I’ve witnessed, directly or indirectly, in my five and a half years of fatherhood, and I’m sure there will be more to come.

2. I want you to know that I’m not a shiny unicorn. There are plenty of black men just like me who love fatherhood.

During the months that followed our brief meeting, I felt a need to prove that you — a complete stranger — were wrong. I needed to prove there were plenty of black men just like me who loved being dads.

I knew a lot of these great men personally: My dad, my two brothers, and many others embraced fatherhood. But could any data back up how much black dads embraced fatherhood? Because the examples in mainstream media were few and far between.

Thankfully, the answer is yes.

A few years after I met you, a study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showed that 70% of black dads are likely to engage in common child-rearing activities such as diaper changing, bathing, toilet training, etc., on a daily basis. That’s a higher percentage than white or Hispanic fathers.

Full stop.

This isn’t about black dads being “the best” because parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about showing that we’re not even remotely as bad as society makes us out to be.

And outside of the CDC study, I saw firsthand how hands-on black dads are when I was thrust into the public eye, too, because a lot of them reached out to me to tell their stories.

We nurture our kids.

We’re affectionate with our kids.

And we do whatever our kids need us to do.

And none of that should come as a surprise to anyone.

3. I want you to know that I believe you meant well when you praised me for being involved in my daughter’s life, but that’s what I’m programmed to do.

I will always be there for her and her baby sister.

Even though I just described how black dads are different from many dads, I hope the takeaway you have from this is that we have a lot of similarities, too.

Please don’t fall into the trap of saying that you want to live in a colorblind world because it makes it harder to identify with inequality when it happens. Instead, I hope you can recognize that we have the same hopes, dreams, and fears as other parents, but the roads we travel may not be the same.

And no, I don’t want an apology.

But I hope when you pick up your next latte and see a dad who looks like me that you’ll smile knowing he’s the rule rather than the exception.

We’ve all done it. If there is one common human experience, it’s getting the lyrics wrong in a song. I refuse to believe that this isn’t a universal thing that transpires in all countries, cultures and languages, and if you tell me otherwise I’ll have no other choice than to believe you’re lying. But there’s something innocently hilarious about people learning that they’ve been singing the wrong words to popular songs. Someone in a Reddit community decided to ask the question that clearly a lot of people have been waiting to be asked: “What’s a song lyric that you completely misheard for a while?”

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The results were gold, obviously, because lots of lyrics are misheard and sung incorrectly until it’s emblazoned into the part of your brain that’s responsible for holding song lyrics. I remember hanging out with a friend and we were blasting “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis but when the part came when they sing “so we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us,” my friend belted “so we put our hands up like the silly can holders.” When I told her those weren’t the words she insisted I was mishearing them, so I asked, “what the heck is a silly can holder?!”

Turns out my friend had no idea what a silly can holder was and we had a good laugh. The person on Reddit that asked people to share their misheard lyrics was likely just as entertained. Like when one user’s misheard lyrics gave Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Loved” a very dark turn, because they heard and sang “ask her if she wants to stay alive” instead of “ask her if she wants to stay a while.” Ma’am-sir, we’re going to need to see what’s in your trunk.

One person thought Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” said “Starbucks lovers” instead of “long list of ex-lovers” and honestly, it’s pumpkin spice season, so Starbucks lovers kind of works. A couple of cozy sweaters, laptops and white cups with a weird mermaid that seems to be holding two tails in her hands could make a great rom-com opening.

Some unfortunate person thought Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much” lyrics were “I can’t believe you kiss your cock goodnight.” Now that’s either NSFW or someone has a really close relationship with their rooster. Either way, those lyrics are unequivocally wrong because the actual words are, “I can’t believe you kiss your car goodnight.” Car! Sweet mother of pearl, I hope they weren’t singing that in public.

Who remembers Dido? “White Flag” was definitely a bop in the early 2000s but this person thought the singer said “I will poke my eyes out and surrender.” Let’s hope they do in fact still have their eyes because the actual lyrics are, “And I won’t put my hands up and surrender,” which obviously makes much sense—bonus points for getting to keep your eyeballs.

Some of these misheard lyrics are just hilarious and also confusing because I can’t quite figure out how this person heard “I got shoes, they’re made of plywood.” The words are, and as far as I know have always been “I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying” in the Grease song “You’re the One That I Want.”

But this last one has me wondering who is Jason and why does he get his own waterfall? This user thought TLC sang “don’t go Jason waterfalls” in their hit song “Waterfalls.” I mean, we probably shouldn’t be chasing waterfalls like the lyrics actually say, but Jason waterfalls might be a pretty cool dude. We’ll never know though.

If you’ve never known the hilarity and embarrassment of mishearing lyrics, consider yourself lucky. But I’m highly suspicious that you’re making that up. No one’s that perfect, people aren’t tacos. Now go forth and belt out “pour some shook-up ramen” while the rest of the crowd demands they be doused with sugar.

This article originally appeared on 09.24.22

Sometimes it feels like there’s an ocean’s distance between the way humans should act toward one another and the way we do. So when we see a good example of good behavior—especially in a situation where things so often go the wrong way—it’s notable.

Such is the case with Ronny, a young man caught on a doorbell security camera dropping off a young woman who had been drinking. The footage is only 20 seconds long, but people are holding it up as a perfect example of how a guy dropping off a drunk girl should go. The TikTok video has nearly 30 million views, and the comments are filled with people praising Ronny for how he handled the situation.

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First of all, Ronny walks the girl to the door and opens it for her. Very gentlemanly.

After she says, “Mommy, I’m so sorry!” into the doorbell camera and goes inside, Ronny addresses the camera himself.

“My name is Ronny, I am sober. I drove her home,” he says. As he starts to walk away, he turns around and adds, “My girlfriend’s in the car.”

Watch:

@achi.1122

Lord its me again 🥴 #TheSecondChild #ThanksRonnie #RingDoorBell #DontDrinkAndDrive #MyWildChild #Sissa #oldfiles

So this guy stays sober at a party, serves as a designated driver, makes sure the girl gets into her house safely, assures the girl’s mother that he drove her there sober and even adds that his girlfriend was with them so she doesn’t have to wonder if she was in the car with him alone.

“Shout out to all the Ronnies!” wrote one commenter on Instagram. “I married one. My friend died her senior year of HS, because she was hit by a drunk driver. In my 20’s when I was out, I would ask my boyfriend (now husband) to take some very intoxicated females & males home who had no other ride. He NEVER said no. Now I’m raising young men and this is so so important!! #mothersagainstdrunkdriving”

“Everything about this,” wrote another. “Props for her not driving. Props for the gentleman taking the girls home. Props to the adults in his life that modeled that behavior, and in her parents that taught her not to drive after drinking!!!!”

“This is fabulous. I love it. Way to go sorry girl and Ronnie,” wrote another. “I did however literally lol at the 100% tired sigh quality in Ronnie’s voice. #Good ol’ Ronnie- doing the right thing even when he’s sick of your nonsense.”

Ronny did sound a bit exasperated, but that’s all the more reason to give him kudos for doing all the right things.

However, after the video went viral, Ronny took the opportunity to share that he didn’t think he deserved praise—he only did what his parents had raised him to do.

“I want to take the 10 minutes of fame I have right now to spread the message, be kind,” he wrote in a follow-up TikTok caption. “If at any point, you are in a similar or relevant position where you know you have the ability to help, help. There are certain things in life that sadly not all of us were told and I think that’s why the world is the way it is. I am really grateful for my parents for raising me the way they raised me. And to be quite honest, I don’t think I would’ve acted the same way if they would have taught me otherwise. All I’m trying to say is, although I greatly appreciate the attention and the compliments what I did shouldn’t be something exceptional.”

@ocqv

to be quite honest, I got tired of re-recording this video, I feel like I got my point across enough to be understood. However, if you did not understand what I was trying to say, I’m going to further explain it. I want to take the 10 minutes of fame that I have right now to spread the message, be kind. If at any point, you are in a similar or relevant position where you know you have the ability to help, help. There are certain things in life that sadly not all of us were told and I think that’s why the world is the way it is. I am really grateful for my parents for raising me the way they raised me. And to be quite honest, I don’t think I would’ve acted the same way if they would have taught me otherwise. All I’m trying to say is, although I greatly appreciate the attention and the compliments what I did shouldn’t be something exceptional. It should be the normal thing in my opinion, I believe that everybody’s in a position to help at some point in their life some people just don’t take that opportunity so let this just be a little reminder, help, be kind. Thank you guys 🫶🫶

Well, if there was anything that could endear people to Ronny any more than they already were, it’s his giving credit to his parents and encouraging everyone to be kind and helpful.

Well done, Ronny. And well done, Ronny’s parents.

This article originally appeared on 7.24.23

Few music genres are as polarizing as country music. For the most part, you either love the twangy sounds of honky tonk, or it makes your ears bleed.

And perhaps nothing epitomizes this quite like yodeling (yes, yes, yodeling might have originations beyond country music, but nowadays it is very closely linked with country music).

Generally speaking, yodeling is often seen as something old-fashioned, annoying, even cartoony. More likely to be used as the butt of a joke—similar to bagpipes—rather than seen as the very difficult and otherworldly art form that it actually is.

But every so often, someone comes around to remind us that when done well, yodeling can feel just as dazzling as a Mariah Carey whistle tone.

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And that person was 16-year-old singer Ruby Leigh, who left all four judges with their jaws on the floor for her first impression audition on NBC’s “The Voice.”

Hailing from a small town in Missouri, armed with her black guitar that perfectly matched her country western outfit, Leigh began singing Patsy Montana’s “I Want to Be A Cowboy’s Sweetheart.”

Almost immediately after she began battling her heart out, judge John Legend turned around in his seat.

But then, when she unleashed her secret weapon, all bets were off.

All three judges, including Gwen Stefani, Niall Horan and country western queen Reba McEntire turned around to see where such a piercing sound was coming from.

Plus…the camera pans over to Leigh’s mother, father and sister overcome with emotion as she lights up the stage. If you watch closely, you’ll even see Leigh’s father tearfully yelling “I told you, Ruby!” It’s seriously a bit of a tearjerker moment.

Watch:

After Leigh finished her song, Stefani and McEntire both shared a little bit of their yodeling gifts, with McEntire sharing how “flattered” that the young performer honored a tradition passed down in her own family.

We might all have our individual tastes, but sometimes…good music is simply good music. It’s a gift when artists of any kind are able to transcend the limitation of genre or mainstream opinion and truly inspire people. Way to go Ruby.

Few things send us reeling through a time warp like the musical stylings of a barbershop quartet. The perfect 4-part harmonies, the old-fashioned vests and straw hats and the turn-of-the-20th-century vibe evoke the sweet simplicity of a bygone era.

Barbershop groups often perform old standards, which is why one quartet’s song about “the good old days” combined with a medley of late 90s‘ and early 00’s pop songs hit a nerve. A group called Main Street performed “Today Will Be The Good Old Days Twenty Years from Now” at a barbershop quartet competition in 2015, and their renditions of Britney Spears, Bruno Mars, NSYNC, No Doubt and others’ songs are as delightful as they are impressive.

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The message in the first part of their performance is a hard pill to swallow, but those of us of a certain age know it to be true. The music from our youth is now considered “classic rock,” but this medley makes that harsh reality we all have to face eventually a whole lot more fun.

Watch the performance shared by the Barbershop Harmony Society, which has over 7 million views on YouTube:

People loved not only hearing their pop favorites done in barbershop but also how well it was done.

“The average person doesn’t get how incredibly complex this is just for ONE song,” shared one commenter. “Even if you’ve been doing music professionally for years this is extremely complicated to do, and I hope it doesn’t go unappreciated.”

“That was a 15-second sustained note by the guy second from the left. That’s incredibly impressive lung control. Whether or not you like barbershop music, you have to give these people credit for being amazing singers,” shared another.

“You know the harmonies are tight when you don’t know who sings which part,” wrote another.

“There’s something so gratifying about watching four people on a stage with no instruments just singing together and after 8 minutes still have your jaw dropped,” wrote another. Indeed.

Even one of the judges from the competition weighed in:

“Watching this again and have watched it again many times. I happened to be one of the 15 judges on that panel at that event and am pretty certain I gave that the highest score I’ve ever given a quartet in contest. And, having seen it again many times I’m so thankful that is true and I probably should have given it a few more points. 🙂 Well, actually, I didn’t have many left I could possibly give anyway. So entertaining and well sung!”

And people who love barbershop are thrilled with how much attention the video has received.

“As a long time Barbershopper, it blows me away how well this performance did with the ‘outside’ crowd,” wrote one person. “Barbershop as a genre and hobby is incredibly niche. The fact that this video has MILLIONS of views is crazy to me, and it’s awesome. I hope you all will check out more videos on the internet! Main Street, Vocal Spectrum, Crossroads, After Hours, etc. SO many amazing ensembles out there!!!”

Check out Barbershop Harmony Society on YouTube here for more barbershop music.

So…there’s this giant bird that aggressively and incessantly knocks at your door, what’s the logical thing to do? Obviously, the only right answer is to open the door and see what he wants and become besties. There really is no other answer. Your best friend is now a feather covered pterodactyl, well…crane.

That very thing happened to an unsuspecting family one day. Autumn Cochella’s bestie is a crane named Carl that kept knocking on her door. Eventually the bird’s persistence paid off because Cochella answered the door to see what all the urgent knocking was about. His reasoning is solid – Carl wanted to hang out.

Makes you wonder what was going through his tiny bird brain when he first decided to knock. Did he think Cochella and her husband looked like the kind of people that would enjoy the company of a crane? Is he playing the long game to get them to join his multilevel marketing team? He could be waiting for the perfect opportunity to break out the, “hey, boss babe.”

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Right now it seems Carl just genuinely enjoys their company, even introducing the couple to his children. Cochella named the other cranes Karla and Junior.

“Junior was really funny and kind of silly. I really enjoyed watching Junior grow up,” she gushes. “Carl actually taught Junior how to knock on the door as well.”

The human half of the best friend duo revealed that when Junior grew up and flew the nest, Carl and Karla welcomed twins Kevin and Kyle. Carl is such a proud dad and clearly values his friendship with the humans he adopted. See how their friendship unfolds in the video below.

Have you ever taken your dog for a walk, and after they relieve themselves, they kick up their hind legs almost as if attempting to do the Moonwalk? Did they rip up a few patches of grass while they were at it?

If so, then professional dog trainer Garret Wing says you have a confident dog who has no problem spreading their scent around the neighborhood. “It is a classic sign of what we refer to as a cocky dog,” Wing said in a viral TikTok video with over 12.6 million views.

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Wing is the owner of the Florida-based American Standard Dog Training. He started his career training dogs as a K9 instructor and later expanded his services to the general public. His tips and tactics for training dogs have earned him over 3 million followers on TikTok.

@americanstandardk9

Why Dogs Kick Up Grass After Marking #dog #dogsoftiktok #puppy #pets #dogs #doglover #fyp

Why do dogs kick their feet after going to the bathroom? At first, it looks like they’re trying to clean themselves, but that’s not the case. “There are scent glands in their pads, and when they start to kick up the grass, they’re spreading their scent and their pheromones everywhere to let everyone know,” Wing explains.

So, it’s just another way for dogs to mark their territory. Even though he’s trained dogs for over 20 years, Wing still has to deal with ripped-up grass at his facility.

Wing says he is training a French Pitbull who likes to “tear up my whole yard when he pees and poops, kicking the grass up as high as he can to spread his odor everywhere.” He does it to make sure that “all the ladies and the guys know who’s in charge.”

Everybody loves a beautiful wedding. Brides spend hundreds of hours picking out the perfect coordinating items and trying on multiple wedding dresses before ringing that infamous bell. You know, the one that alerts the whole bridal salon that some excited bride-to-be has found the perfect gown for the big day.

That moment is not only special for the bride but for the mom as well as they’re typically right by their side looking at their baby girl. But outside of that moment, there’s not really any ceremonial role for mother’s of the brides at the main event. Dads walk the bride down the aisle while the mom watches from the front row. Dads get the first dance followed by the mother of the groom.

There just doesn’t seem to be any room for the mother of the bride after the deposits are paid and planning is complete. One bride decided that she was going to buck tradition to give her mom the spotlight.

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On Briana Keith’s wedding day, she took to the middle of the floor with microphone in hand as she looked directly at her mother.

“The dad gets to walk me down the aisle, he gets the first look. The mother of the groom gets to walk him down the aisle, gets the first dance,” Keith says. “Mothers dedicate their life, body and soul to their kids.”

Keith’s mom wiped her tears as her daughter acknowledged her sacrifices while she stood in her wedding gown in front of guests. That’s when the new bride informed everyone of her plan to change a long honored tradition.

“So to all the single ladies out there, I am sorry, but I will not be doing the bouquet toss. Instead, I’m dedicating my bouquet to my beautiful mother,” the bride revealed.

You can see the sweet moment below:

Singer and actress Halle Bailey has had a big year. Back in May, she starred as Ariel in the live-action version of The Little Mermaid. She also dropped her debut solo single, “Angel,” and is set to appear as Nettie in a remake of The Color Purple, which arrives in theaters in December.

But her relationship with rapper DDG also has been making headlines. Like many high-profile couples, their relationship has been plagued with rumors. So, here is a timeline of their relationship so far.

January 2022

The two were first spotted together at Usher’s residency show in Las Vegas, where they appeared to be enjoying themselves watching the R&B legend perform his hits. Pictures surfaced of DDG with his arm around Bailey, as the pair appeared rather happy and cozy.

June 2022

Bailey and DDG attended the BET Awards, making their official red carpet debut. Bailey noted that she was looking forward to seeing her sister Chlöe perform, with DDG by her side, who she referred to as her “boo.”

“I have my boo with me today,” Bailey said to Extra at the time. “We’re so excited. We’re gonna have so much fun just supporting Chloe. It’ll be great!”

Later that month, Bailey shared a TikTok of her and DDG doing some vocal exercises.

August 2022

Bailey and DDG attended Variety‘s Power Of Young Hollywood event together.

October 2022

The couple attended the fifth annual Wearable Art Gala.

November 2022

Bailey opened up about her relationship with DDG in an interview with Essence. She recalled first seeing him as a YouTuber when both of them were younger.

“I’ve been a fan of his for years,” she said. “I grew up being on YouTube and would always see the young Black creators and was constantly inspired by them. He was one of them.”

She said she had first seen DDG’s videos around 2015, but had forgotten about him for a time. He caught her attention once again when he started making music, and she remembers gravitating to one song in particular.

“Coincidentally he messaged me — and the rest is history,” Bailey said.

December 2022

The couple attended the premiere of Avatar: The Way Of Water together.

February 2023

Fans began to speculate that there may be trouble in paradise after DDG’s ex-girlfriend, rapper Rubi Rose posted a tweet reading, “Having ur b*tch [wear] my clothes is crazy lol.”

Rose did not allude to DDG or Bailey directly, however, fans noticed that Bailey had shared a picture of herself wearing a shirt Rose had been seen wearing in 2020.

In a since-deleted tweet, DDG wrote “All these girls the same, ain’t no way,” and fans noticed he had unfollowed Bailey.

DDG later took to Twitter, seemingly addressing the rumors, saying, “nobody cheated on nobody btw. don’t take my tweets too serious.”

March 2023

Bailey and DDG attended the Vanity Fair party together, following the Oscars.

April 2023

In an interview with British Vogue, Bailey reeled over a special kind of love, which she said was inspiring her creatively.

“Experiencing deep love for the first time in my life is something I feel has opened a whole new world for me creatively,” she said. “What it feels like to love someone other than your family, like somebody you may not have known two years ago but now they’re the center of your world. I like all of the scary feelings that come with that. I like the suspense, the not knowing what’s going to happen, and I feel like that’s what I’m supposed to be going through in womanhood.”

The interview was published shortly before the premiere of The Little Mermaid, and Bailey noted that being in the spotlight was beginning to make her feel uneasy.

“There’s a lot of eyes on me now, especially with what’s to come,” she said. “And sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many eyes on me, especially experiencing something like this for the first time.”

May 2023

The Little Mermaid premieres in theaters, and Bailey was busy with press this entire month. But as the hype started winding down, she posted a TikTok of she and DDG kissing — the video was captioned, “On my last day of press like…”

July 2023

This past July, DDG dropped a song called “Famous,” in which he seemingly addressed the press campaign for The Little Mermaid.

On the song, he raps, “Filmin’ a movie now you kissing dudes / You know I love you a lot / I don’t give a f*ck if that sh*t for promo / I don’t wanna see this sh*t no more Why is y’all holdin’ hands in the photo? / You know I’m insecure, that’s a no-no.”

Fans suspected DDG was rapping about Bailey holding hands with her co-star, Jonah Hauer-King, during press appearances for The Little Mermaid.

September 2023

Bailey and DDG were seen attending Diddy’s listening party for The Love Album in New York City together.

The couple also appeared at shows during Milan’s Fashion Week, notably at Dolce & Gabbana for their Womenswear Spring/Summer 2024 collection and at the Gucci Ancora show.

October 2023

The couple was spotted out and about in Santa Monica, California.

Today (October 17), People shared exclusive excerpts from Britney Spears’ upcoming memoir, The Woman In Me, ahead of the book’s release on October 24. In one of them, Spears explains why she infamously shaved her head in 2007.

She wrote:

“I’d been eyeballed so much growing up. I’d been looked up and down, had people telling me what they thought of my body, since I was a teenager. Shaving my head and acting out were my ways of pushing back. But under the conservatorship I was made to understand that those days were now over. I had to grow my hair out and get back into shape. I had to go to bed early and take whatever medication they told me to take.”

She continued, ” If I thought getting criticized about my body in the press was bad, it hurt even more from my own father. He repeatedly told me I looked fat and that I was going to have to do something about it. I would do little bits of creative stuff here and there, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore. As far as my passion for singing and dancing, it was almost a joke at that point.”

Find additional excerpts here.