Thanksgiving prices usually aren’t cheap, and they certainly weren’t last year. But guess what? Inflation has slowed in recent months, and according to the American Farm Bureau Association, a Thanksgiving dinner for 10 is down 4.5% from last year. Turkeys themselves are down 5.6%, with the average price for a 16-pound bird being $27.35. But you know who’s not happy about that? The Fabio-hosters at Fox News, who’ve nevertheless tried to cry Chicken Little despite the sky being more or less fine, at least in this regard. Alas, one contributor’s attempt to own Biden was about as successful as the disastrous turkey drop from the classic Thanksgiving episode of WKRP in Cincinnati.
It all started with Monday’s show, when former GOP representative Jason Chaffetz — known for repeatedly hounding Hillary Clinton with investigations, and for getting mad at Triumph the Insult Comic Dog — tried to claim turkey prices were through the roof, despite them not being so.
Chaffetz: We went to go buy a turkey today. It was $90! It’s all a choice by Joe Biden pic.twitter.com/cz02ZF8v40
— Acyn (@Acyn) November 21, 2023
“I mean, we went to go buy a turkey today,” Chaffetz railed on a Kayleigh McEnany-hosted episode of Hannity. “It was $90 for a turkey! It’s all a choice by Joe Biden. That is what Bidenomics is!”
Many people, unfortunately, wondered where on earth Chaffetz — a former congressperson with Fox News money — was shopping for turkeys. So, on Tuesday, he did what all self-respecting Republicans when faced with the errors of his ways: He doubled down.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
pic.twitter.com/eTQb6sdotS
— Jason Chaffetz (@jasoninthehouse) November 21, 2023
In a Twitter/X post, Chaffetz showed a picture of his turkey. But it wasn’t some regular Joe Butterball turkey. It was a “premium young turkey” from an upscale store. Embroidered on it were the words “thoughtfully raised on sustainable family farms.” It didn’t cost him $90. It cost him $114.02, because it was five bucks a pound and weighed nearly 23 pounds. Doesn’t sound like your average prole bird.
If Chaffetz’s intention was to silence his haters, he failed miserably.
Dude bought the Rolls Royce of turkeys and is mad at Joe Biden https://t.co/iMV1HQIWtL
— Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) November 21, 2023
Tell me you’re a rich elitist snob too obnoxiously disconnected from the rest of America to get a simple Butterball without telling me you’re telling me your a rich elitist snob too obnoxiously disconnected from the rest of America to get a simple Butterball https://t.co/lT9E3HMbis
— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) November 21, 2023
Figures this idiot is buying expensive turkeys from a woke organic ranch in California and then going on Fox to cry about it https://t.co/3KKCTtAXxV
— Wu Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) November 21, 2023
Yeah, well, this 178 lb. turkey cost Utah $675,000, so please sit down. https://t.co/5C06AKIoRI pic.twitter.com/DSgzXjcIgx
— Dylan McDonnell (@DylanCMcDonnell) November 22, 2023
This is all very stupid, but if I may: what kind of RINO cuck buys vegetarian-fed, gluten-free, sustainable turkeys? Enjoy your $114 turkey soy boy! https://t.co/ry1mRSaeZD
— Joe Patrice (@JosephPatrice) November 21, 2023
sir you spent over a hundred bucks on a turkey that wore a patagonia fleece and was educated at a montessori school. It is both woke and bespoke. https://t.co/rUPGjruHE5
— Kevin Gannon (@TheTattooedProf) November 21, 2023
What a tremendous Self Own. Who’s the ‘out of touch with real America, Media Elite’ now? https://t.co/3gBUdvEkhi
— Kerry Jackson (@RFHKerry) November 21, 2023
paying 5 bucks a pound for Woke Turkey to own the libs https://t.co/1pnl2f13KC
— Christopher Ingraham
(@_cingraham) November 21, 2023
On the upside, that’s probably a very tasty bird — provided Chavettz actually knows how to cook it right, preferably with a dry brining to make the skin extra crispy. Happy Almost Turkey Day, everyone!
(Via The Daily Beast)