This year’s Uproxx Gift Guides are brought to you by Sirius XM. Check out their site to find all the holiday music and content you need to get into the giving spirit.
Who knows exactly when it happened but there seem to be way more people with good taste now. The rise of Instagram certainly played a huge part in sparking this sea change — earthenware lamps, enamel bowls, and satin sheets certainly look cooler in the feed than impossible-to-assemble IKEA housewares. Oh and also, house prices are insane and pushing ever higher so… better to just forget about buying and dial in your apartment.
A record player, a griddle, and some greens growing in the corner? That’s a space you want to spend time in.
Last year’s Uproxx Gift Guide for the Home was such a hit that we’re running it back this year. But this time around, it’s all splurges straight through til the end. Why? Well, in short… everyone has enough junk. Amazon has been around for 30 years. We can all order trinkets and have them on our doorstep (or our neighbors’ doorsteps since UPS seems to have about a 45% accuracy rate this time of year) before dinner.
No junk in 2023. This is the all bangers all the time home gift guide. If you get someone something we’ve tested, reviewed, and featured below, it’s sure to leave your giftee hyped. We promise.
Andover-One All-In-One Record Player
Price: $1,999
This is, quite simply, the best all-in-one record player on the market. Trust me, I’ve burned through plenty of others.
Why? Well, it starts and ends with sound quality.
If you don’t have space for a component system, this is the richest, deepest sound you can get. It can fill any room and never sounds tinny, like so much of the competition. The quality is clear in every single element.
Beyond that, it’s also incredibly easy to use, both as a record player and a Bluetooth speaker (you don’t need to have another living room speaker, this can give you all the power you need). There’s only one dial and it’s intuitive to use. Design-wise, this is as cool as it gets — the hardwood cabinet is sleek and stylish while also being sturdy. I have mine on a simple record stand and get a constant stream of comments about how nice it looks. (With that said, I wish I’d dropped the extra money for the matching record stand.)
Taken all together, this is the GOAT in its category. It’s a high-end listening experience without all the components.
BUY IT FOR:
Buy it for someone who craves a quality vinyl listening experience without the desire or space to build out a full sound system.
Meze Audio 99 Classics
Price: $309
This is a nice full-circle moment because I’ve got the Meze headphones on my ears right now. To help me focus, I’ve worn over-the-ear headphones every day for work for 15 years. All day; every day. Burned through countless pairs.
These are the most comfortable, bar none. They don’t clamp too hard on your head, even if you have them on eight hours per day, as I often do. In fact, they feel light and almost delicate. The headband distributes the pressure evenly so you never have that “I’m being squeezed” feeling.
As far as the sound goes, these plug-in headphones are high quality — rich and luxurious, deeply resonant, and perfectly balanced. When I’m not working I plug them into the Andover record player featured above and sprawl on the couch for long listening sessions. There are few ways better to relax and unwind on the planet, in my opinion.
BUY THEM FOR:
If these were stolen from me tomorrow, I would have another pair ordered that same day. I like them that much. Buy them for anyone who craves a high-level music-listening experience and is willing to be plugged in.
Klipsch The Three Plus Premium Bluetooth Speaker
Price: $399
While the Andover record player acts as my Bluetooth in my living room, in my bedroom I love this Klipsch The Three Plus speaker. Like the Andover, it’s sleek and made with real wood (the Meze headphones have real wood too, I’m a big wood guy). It also has actual dials instead of relying on buttons. That feels more solid to me; more tangible.
Sound-wise, this little box is big. The sound is clear and not the least bit tinny, filling the bedroom when I want to go loud or offering a rich ambiance when I want to go soft. The other reason I spent money on it? It’s… not so portable. I find that a house only really needs one big portable speaker and that’s likely to get banged up, etc. This speaker stays in one place, is always there when I need it, and has retained the sleek, cool look since I bought it. I can’t imagine a reason I wouldn’t still have this in 10 years — unless the tech around speakers completely changes again (which is, obviously, totally feasible).
BUY IT FOR:
Sharp-looking meets sharp sound meets real components that feel solid (the rolling volume dial charmed the hell out of me). Buy it for someone with good taste who has too many speakers banging around their house.
Traeger Flat Top Grill Flatrok
Price: $899.99
I have a Traeger smoker. I like it. I use it relatively often and it’s fully replaced my propane grill. But with all that said… using it is a little bit of a project. There are pellets to buy. There are rotors to vacuum. I use it pretty often! But I don’t have the time to use it daily.
This Traeger flat-top griddle? I use that daily. Sometimes twice daily.
I have never adored a cooking implement so deeply. It is like — and I don’t mean “sorta like” or “similar to,” I mean “exactly like” — having a restaurant flat top in your backyard. I can cook burgers for 20 people in 10 minutes. I can make the best carne asada tacos I’ve tasted outside of Mexico for a whole dinner party without stress. It’s just a really special product.
It runs on propane and is easy to clean. Just scrape all the detritus into the grease trap! (It’s kind of fun, even.)
A few months ago, I threw a party. At about 2 am, my buddy raided the fridge, tossed huge hunks of pulled pork on this griddle, added some pan drippings, pushed it in the corner, tossed on some tortillas, loaded them with cheese, added back the pork, and made 10 of the best quesadillas I’ve ever tasted. It took him 10 minutes. The griddle did not need cleaning afterward. Friends still call it “the midnight miracle.”
BUY IT FOR:
If I could only afford a grill, smoker, or this flat-top, I would buy the flat-top every time. Get it for the chef who is ready to entertain and level up.
Houseplant Gloopy Candle By Seth
Price: $150
I like Seth Rogen a ton. But not so much that I need to further enrich this wildly rich man by buying his candle after getting drawn like a moth to the flame of his celebrity. And yet here I am… with a $150 candle in my living room.
Why?
Marie Kondo, baby! It sparks joy!
It’s cool. It looks great. I’ve burned through it already and fit other (less fragrant, more generic) candles inside. So in reality, this Houseplant candle is more like a vase. A vase for candles. And, as such, it’s lovely. It’s a perfect punch of brightness in my living room — which takes the hipster earth tones trend to the furthest possible place and needs some damn color. People comment on it. We discuss — maybe riff on how good Superbad is or how Rogen’s North Korea movie led to an international incident and how fascinating that is or how he’s a legit potter alongside being a movie star.
But regardless of those conversations, I have this object that brings me some degree of pleasure. That’s all I need from it and well worth my $150.
BUY IT FOR:
Buy it for someone (maybe a Rogen fan!) who will keep it as a vase and treasured object long after the candle is burnt down.
Crow Canyon Enamelware
Price: Varies. $130 for all three elements shown.
Do you like enamelware? I definitely do. They can bang around a little, work outdoors and indoors, look cool, and they don’t create the fear in their owners that ceramics do. Maybe it’s the fact that I grew up sipping from chipped enamel cups around the campfire but I just love the look of them. I have gotten absolutely lost on the Crow Canyon website multiple times.
Even when I made my purchase, I had to keep going back to my cart because I was overdoing it. Seriously.
The splatter design is my go-to (I bought all of the items pictured) — it feels earthy but still like a design piece that people take note of. Everything can go in the dishwasher and I feel no fear packing the dishes or cups up for a stylish picnic date or using them for one of my more chaotic parties. One more upside for anyone like me who leaves things out way too often — the enamel doesn’t crust over, making these dishes incredibly easy to clean even if you accidentally leave them around the house with food in them for a day or two.
BUY THEM FOR:
Grab these for someone who has serious style but isn’t ready for dishes that can easily shatter (and who among us is?).
Soundboks 4
Price: $999
When the first Sounboks dropped, it was clear that the brand was trying to shift the conversation around portable speakers. The first edition was a powerhouse — huge sound in a portable format. This was not for “me and you on a beach blanket” listening — it was for family reunions and cookouts.
Soundboks 4 takes that notion further. Way further.
This feels like a concert component speaker. It feels like your buddy who is a roadie for Travis Scott stole it from the sounbank and kicked it to you for a grand. The sound is massive and it can connect to other speakers or components. I recently had a DJ use this at a house party I threw (this guide really reveals my love for parties) and it was more than enough sound to fill up the house.
I’m not talking about “enough to bob your head to”-type sound. I’m talking “lost in the music, can’t-talk-now-the-beat-is-in-my-body”-type sound. It’s a beast and also sleek enough to sit in the house for the “between cookouts and house parties” times as your main-room Bluetooth speaker.
BUY IT FOR:
The person who loves to create the party — whether at the beach, the park, or in their homes. Warning: Anyone who owns this will have a whole lot of friends asking to borrow it for their own events!
The Farmstand Nook
Price: $699
I am a Lettuce Grow legionnaire — or whatever they call their fans. I have dutifully purchased three of their Farmstands and keep them growing year-round. I know the brand better than probably anyone who doesn’t work there. But the “Nook” is my first indoor stand.
I love it. It’s straightforward (to be honest, I tried another indoor brand this year and sent it back after a week — too many chemicals to mix and test, etc). And the production is great.
The food that comes off the Nook is delicious (the electricity increase is negligible as far as I can tell). And there’s something really special about making juice for someone with the greens you grew, seasoning a meal with your own herbs, and eating veggies that were plucked five minutes before eating. Does growing your food in-house save money? After a whole lot of repetitions, I’ll say… Doubtful.
Farms know what they are doing and they do it at scale. It probably is some level (minimal) of financial loss for me to grow my own food in the Farmstand or out in my planter boxes. But it’s so fun and it saves on store runs and the agony of seeing lettuce wilt in the fridge is eradicated — all of which makes this a huge win for me and my kitchen-centric lifestyle. Plus, on a philosophical level, being part of your food production fundamentally shifts how you treat the food you make.
That alone makes this well worth it. Combine that with the minimalist look and it’s wins all around.
BUY IT FOR:
Anyone who cares enough about food to grow their own greens and veggies. Even if they claim to be incompetent in a garden, they can handle the Nook — it’s that easy!
Notary Lamp
Price: $955
It’s not often you find your new favorite ceramics shop on HBO, but here we are. I learned about Notary Ceramics when it was profiled on HBO’s Storefront Stories and fell in love with the look of these lamps. Owner/ potter Sarah Van Raden just seems to innately understand the sweet spot between minimalism and eye-pleasing design. She’s never so stark that her work feels brutalist — it’s minimal but still evokes genuine feeling.
“I am drawn to simple, quiet forms that are humble yet unique,” Van Raden told me via email when I asked about her design ethos. “My color palette is inspired by the natural beauty of Oregon and my childhood growing up in the countryside.”
I see all of that in her work. And the smaller touches just scream quality. It’s got a thick, vintage feeling chord, the light base is heavy and solid, and the accordion shade — which I found absolutely maddening to figure out (don’t be like me, just watch the tutorial and it’s suddenly simple) — looks even better in the home when the light is “on” than it does in the image above.
This is a subtle-yet-room-defining piece. I admire its grace every time I walk past.
BUY IT FOR:
The person who cares about style but also has nothing to prove — the confident minimalist who savors well-made things.
Ettitude Signature Sateen Sheet Set
Price: $229
These sheets are a treasure — they’ve ruined me! Anything else is like sleeping on hay and burlap. These are delicate and soft and sensual.
They feel inherently sexy. You want to roll around in them. Also… this exact color (saffron) is just incredibly pleasing to the eye.
I can tell you the specs on this sheet set —
- Sustainable “CleanBamboo” fabric in a sateen weave.
- Hypoallergenic.
Those are the biggies. They run down everything on the website but… that’s not why you drop $229 on sheets, right? It’s because of how they feel on your body. How they look on your bed. What they evoke.
In my experience, these sheets are the absolute top-of-the-line when using those parameters. They are sexy and sensual and feel fantastic against your skin.
BUY IT FOR:
The person you want to have sex with. The person you want to lounge in bed with. The person whose sleep you value. If you have that person, this gift will hit — I promise.