Generally speaking, folks are feeling…shall we say…financially cautious this year when it comes to holiday spending. According to USA Today, a combination of inflation, dwindling savings and rising debt has caused many Americans to focus only on the essentials when it comes to their Christmas celebrations.
However, social media tells a different story. A five second scroll through TikTok will make you think that every home in the world (besides yours, of course) is prepped for the holiday issue of Architectural Digest. Spotless, all white furnishings, giant decorations that would put department stores to shame, luxury brand snacks left out for delivery drivers…you get the picture.
And sure, while watching aspirational videos online might provide a fun temporary escape, many are feeling like the novelty has worn off.
Take Bri, for example. Bri is wondering where all the moms like her have gone on social media. The moms who, as she describes it, “ are wearing a sweater from 2016?” The moms whose nicer things they own “were gifted to them at some point in their lives, who the newest part of their Christmas decor every year is the Christmas tree.”
These moms are certainly not on Bri’s social media. Instead, she gets a barrage of “massive, massive hauls of new Christmas decor with you know mom in like this brand new outfit, babies dressed to the nines, house is immaculate and massive. Cars brand new.”
Meanwhile, while filming her own video, Bri sits in her 2015 car with over a hundred thousand miles on it. She will not be, as she wrote in her caption, showcasing “$500 Target hals” because instead, she’ll be saving to replace said 2015 car, as well as paying off student loans, and you know, buying groceries to live.
Bottom line: most of what Bri sees online she simply cannot relate to, and she suspects the same is true for many others.
@bridineen There will be no $500 Target hauls of Christmas decor happening here bc we have student loans to pay, a new car to save for and groceries to buy. But if you are looking for some middle class mom content, here I am! My home is not completely renovated, our cars are old and anything new that I buy is for my babies 😅 Ib: @evelyn | real mom life 🫶🏼 #middleclassmum #middleclassfamily #middleclassmom #middleclasslife ♬ Holly Jolly Christmas (Sped Up) – Michael Bublé & Sped Up Songs + Nightcore
“I do not relate to the over the top extravagant lifestyles with a mortgage to kids, student loans up the wazoo and the price of groceries. Like that’s just not my life and it probably never will be and that’s okay,” she says, adding “I don’t think that’s the reality for a majority of us honestly, for real. Like in this economy, absolutely not.”
Turns out, Bri is definitely not the only middle class mom feeling this way. Thousands showed up in her comments section to show solidarity.
“The only new christmas stuff I bought this year was WRAPPING PAPER,” one revealed.
Another admitted “None of my decor ‘matches’. It’s just a hodgepodge of thrift and craft sale finds. My kids won’t remember if the decor matched, so who cares.”
Others shared situations that were almost exactly like Bri’s—proving that many are in the same boat.
One person commented, “Here here here!! One income and one car family drowning in student debt in a rental townhouse 😅😅 fighting that overconsumption temptation errday”
Another echoed,“Hi! 👋🏻 we are here! Old clothes, tired, overwhelmed, dirty house, and 2015 car here with 155,000 miles lol – you are not alone!”
One person even astutely pointed out that maybe most regular moms are simply too drained making everything happen and running on fumes to post content, writing “We’re in the majority but too tired/busy to be posting all the time. You’re doing great ❤️.” To which Bri replied, “tired. So tired.”
All this to say, if you’re struggling with feeling like your holiday celebrations somehow don’t measure up, remember that what’s carefully curated online is in no way an accurate reflection of what most people experience. Most of us are simply trying to exist, using what we’ve got, and very, very tired. Don’t let any perceived shortcomings rob you of the inherent joys that come with the season—gratitude, time with loved ones, and maybe, just maybe…a nap.