When we think about gifted conversationalists, we’re more likely to think of great talkers—those who wow us with their insights, wit, and charm. However, communication experts believe that if you want to make a great impression on someone, knowing how to listen goes a long way.
Those of us who love being verbose may think the world loves us because of how well we can talk. But the person sitting in front of you has a lot to say, and nothing makes them feel better during a conversation than your undivided attention.
As the old saying goes, we never quite remember everything someone has said to us, but we’ll never forget how they made us feel. When you actively listen to your conversation partner, they feel that you value them and are receptive to their needs. It also eases any feelings of conflict or resentment.
After a good conversation, the person you spoke with should think, “Wow, that person really gets me,” instead of, “It was like I didn’t even exist.”
A study from 2016 on sales calls did an excellent job of quantifying the amount we should speak versus listen during a conversation. A marketing director at Gong.io analyzed 25,537 sales calls using artificial intelligence and found that the interactions where the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened 57% of the time had the highest sales yield.
This finding has come to be known as the 43:57 rule.
Even though the study was conducted on business calls, the reason that it works should apply to social conversations as well. Paying more attention helps a salesperson identify the client’s needs and makes them feel comfortable spending money because they know it’s with someone who understands their interests.
It’s the same as a social situation where the person you speak to wants to know they are valued and you respect what they say.
This is excellent advice, but sometimes it’s hard to listen when you’re in a fun conversation and have a lot to say. Kate Murphy, author of “You’re Not Listening,” says it’s all about staying calm.
“Deep breaths are always good. They’re always good. Because it…calms down that fear response. It helps you get more centered,” Murphy told WBUR. “But also to develop your curiosity. Like I said, make it more important to be curious than to be right. And to go into every conversation with that mindset of how could I be wrong? Instead of, let me prove how I’m right.”
“That’s how you develop creative ideas. It’s how you cooperate. It’s how you find middle ground, or at least a peaceable existence,” Murphy added.
The idea that to be a great conversationalist one should master the art of listening is a bit counterintuitive. But, if you feel that you have a lot to say in conversations and can be interesting to listen to, imagine how great that’ll make others feel when you show that you enjoy listening to them as well. It’s a virtuous cycle where everyone wins.
There’s one thing you can say about little kids that’s pretty consistent no matter who the kid is, and it’s that they’re brutally honest. Whether you have something stuck in your teeth or you’ve gained weight, a small child will inform you – loudly, and usually in front of others. But one preschooler’s moment of honesty is going viral for how relatable it is.
An exhausted and cranky 4-year-old named Jude has had enough. The little boy had just gotten home from school when he must’ve been asked something before the camera started rolling because his response was a #same moment.
“Listen. No, do you hear me? I’m cranky, I’m tired, I worked hard at school,” Jude says to his dad.
Jude’s mom, Amber Tinker uploaded the video to TikTok where it went viral with over 14 million views and over 1.5 million likes. The tiny grumpy human was clearly not interested in whatever shenanigans his dad was up to and he let him know it.
Jude’s dad, Justin Tinker was attempting to tease the boy about messing with him later but Jude was having none of it. The preschooler quickly repeated that he was cranky and tired after working hard at school. He mumbles something as he walks towards a barn when his dad stops him.
“I’ve already got everything fed and watered. I already got the eggs, I did your job cause I knew you was tired,” Justin calls out.
Though his dad did his chores for him, Jude still didn’t feel like he got his point across because later in the video he repeats how cranky and tired he is. Both of his parents explained they also worked hard today and were tired but it was obvious that Jude out tired them all. In the end he declared he was getting a bath tonight. Maybe his mom will bring him a cold Capri Sun and light some candles while he soaks in a bubble bath. Preschool must be rough these days.
Kali Uchis revealed today (January 11) that she is expecting her first child, as she and Don Toliver have been dating. The reveal might have been a shock to fans, however, who might not have known the two were together, especially without catching some of their public appearances.
Here’s what to know.
How Long Have Don Toliver & Kali Uchis Been Dating?
“We’re not crazy public or nothing like that,” he told the publication. “We just vibe.”
“I already had it in my mind to go out there and shoot a video with her incorporated into it, to make it a real-deal situation,” Toliver added, as they went to Colombia to shoot the videos earlier in the year. He also met her family while out there, but to keep the relationship private, he didn’t reveal much else.
Because of this, Uchis and Toliver had likely been dating at least a bit before then, enough to go to meet her parents.
Jason Momoa has found an interesting way to promote his upcoming docuseries On The Roam. The new series will feature the former Aquaman actor as he bounces from town to town talking to local artisans, and hopefully, raising some loot for charity. While filming episodes, Momoa apparently slept in his car and would randomly emerge in small towns. Now, that he’s divorced from Lisa Bonet, it’s literally become his whole lifestyle.
“Bro, I don’t even have a home right now,” Momoa told Entertainment Tonight before revealing his new love of surprising the crap out of unsuspecting residents as he crawls out of his backseat/bed.
“I’m always in these weird places,” Momoa said. “You’re gonna find me on the road. It happens all the time. They’re like, ‘What the hell are you doing in our hometown?’”
While living his best sexy nomad life, Momoa will also be actively promoting some of the artwork that can be seen and purchased in charity auctions when On The Roam starts streaming next month on Max.
“I’ll jump on Instagram and try to get going so we can auction off a lot of these cool things and spread some love,” Momoa told ET.
Here’s the official synopsis:
Behind every craft is a story. Join Jason Momoa as he travels the open road to unlock secrets of the world’s great artisans.
A new entry in the very specific horror genre of one-named children wreaking bloody havoc on unsuspecting adults has arrived.
On Thursday, Universal Pictures dropped the trailer for Abigail, the latest nightmare from Scream directing duo Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett. Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, William Catlett, Giancarlo Esposito, Kevin Durand, and Euphoria breakout Angus Cloud, who tragically passed away from an accidental drug overdose last year, star as a group of criminals charged with managing a hostage situation gone very wrong. The young ballerina (Alisha Weir) they’re hired to kidnap and hold for ransom turns out to be a ravenous vampire who enjoys playing with her food, hence the whole fake-abduction plot. The crew must survive the night trapped in a mansion with the little monster while figuring out how to avoid becoming her midnight snack.
Campy, gruesome horror has done well for Universal in the past with last year’s Blumhouse project, M3GAN, proving to be a surprise hit despite waning theater attendance and its weirdly-timed release. Abigail is hoping to drum up similar buzz and its first trailer — a dizzying action-packed dance, which is reportedly somewhat based on Dracula’s Daughter (1936), filled with blood, gore, and some terrific one-liners — looks ripe for the memeage.
The former Good Morning America anchors, who were fired from the show after the news of their extramarital relationship went public, took a compatibility test administrated by OkCupid brand marketing director Michael Kaye on a recent episode of their Amy and TJ podcast.
“You both enjoy sex more than foreplay,” Kaye told the couple. “You’re both super into post-workout sex, and shower sex, and prefer cuffs over ropes.” He added, “So there’s a lot in the bedroom, out of the bedroom, that you aligned on.”
And while both she and T.J. laughed about the personal details revealed that would soon be broadcast to their listeners, Amy quipped, “You now know us better than my parents do.” But on whether any of these results surprised them, the couple both answered with a resounding, “No.” As T.J. explained, “We know each other really, really well.”
Tom Cruise got a little bit heated during the height of the pandemic. Not only did he launch that infamous tirade, but he also vociferously campaigned for theaters and “sav[ed] Hollywood’s ass” with Top Gun: Maverick, according to Steven Spielberg. Tom also reportedly hasn’t forgotten some quibbles from a few years ago, and that might have something to do with this week’s announcement that Cruise inked a deal with Warner Bros. to keep saving Hollywood while developing original films and more franchise installments.
This did come as a surprise, given Cruise’s long-standing, blockbuster-forging relationship with Paramount, which of course stocks part of its Paramount+ library with Cruise action films. Is the iconic leading man feeling slightly salty? Hmm. An excerpt from a new Hollywood Reporter analysis piece claims that not only was Cruise displeased with the studio attempting to confine Maverick to a 45-day theatrical window, but he reportedly fielded some franchise-based TV show ideas that must not be happening:
Sources say Cruise was not happy with the way Paramount dealt with him on a number of issues. He had lawyered up in 2021, when the studio announced that Top Gun: Maverick would have a mere 45-day theatrical run (which of course did not happen). The studio also pressed Cruise to approve the making of a television show based on Mission: Impossible or Days of Thunder for its streamer.
There’s been no confirmation that this is true, but boy, an M:I TV show pitch was bound to not go well, especially while the movies are still rolling. Tom is a theater guy, after all. However, a Days of Thunder series could have received a substantial, NASCAR-loving audience who also tunes in for Taylor Sheridan yarns, but I guess we will never know.
We’re in the early days of 2024, which means we have a full year ahead of us for a whole lot of travel. After heading home to spend time with friends and family to celebrate the holidays and ring in the new year at some of the hottest NYE parties and festivals, no one should blink an eye if you decide to jump-start your travel in 2024 with a little solo getaway.
After getting some insider tips on valuable credit card sign-up bonuses for holiday travel with some of the world’s leading experts, we decided to ask them their best strategies for earning and redeeming credit card and flight points earned from holiday shopping to be used for the beginning of the year travel plans. With spending at an all-time high for gifts spanning home goods, fitness, kitchen, streetwear, adventure and travel, and more, make sure you’re maximizing your credit cards and redeeming them for an epic early-year trip.
Vivian Tu (@your.richbff): “Travel Hack” With Point Multipliers & Look For Airline Bonuses
Order “RICH AF: The Winning Money Mindset That Will Change Your Life” here.
VIVIAN TU
The first thing I always say is to always be mindful of what credit cards you’re using to get the most cash back from every purchase, especially for holiday spending on gifts. Now this doesn’t necessarily work all the time, but if you have some flights that you took in the summer and some that you need to book soon, sometimes it does make sense to buy those point multipliers or to actually just buy points and then redeem them for reward travel over buying them in cash. This is essentially “travel hacking.” If you’re able to buy the points for less money than what it costs to buy the flight, then it’s a great way to pay a lot less.
A good way to do this is to test two incognito browsers, pull up the flight that you want to take, and see how much it would cost in cash. Then pull up another incognito tab and see how much it would cost to buy X amount of points through an airline.
With your credit cards, they are partners with many different airlines and hotels. What you can do is see if there are ever any bonuses. Sometimes certain airlines offer bonuses to offload some of the liabilities on their balance sheet because they owe that to consumers if there are too many outstanding points. To encourage you to spend those points, they might change up their 1:1 point match and up it to 1.5 points or miles on the credit card to be used on booking with a partnered airline.
That’s a great way to make use of a good redemption rate for early-year travel.
Thomas Lonergan (@travelliketommy): Secure Some Exceptional Flight Deals For Holiday Travel With Flight Points
There’s tons of great flight deals for last-minute and early-year travel. Some examples of exceptional getaways using flight points include:
Fly from most cities on the East Coast to Madrid, Spain in business class for as low as 34,000 points on off-peak dates via Iberia Airlines. More information can be found here.
Fly from IAH, LAX, or SFO to Australia or New Zealand in business class for as low as 75,000 United Polaris or Air New Zealand points via Air Canada. More information can be found here.
Fly from SFO to French Polynesia in business class for as low as 55,000 United Polaris points via Air Canada. More information can be found here.
Fly Emirates first class from JFK or EWR to Milan, Italy or Athens, Greece for only 102,000 points or Dubai for 163,000 points. More information can be found here.
Fly to Tokyo in business class for as low as 47,500 points via All Nippon Airlines booked through Virgin Atlantic. More information can be found here.
Kyle + Kenz Parks (@adventure_parks): Look At Airline Shopping Portals
Don’t overlook shopping portals. Almost every airline has one. These sites allow you to earn bonus points by shopping online — no matter the card you use. You simply search for a store and click the link to be redirected to the store’s normal online website. Anything you purchase after that will earn the points per dollar listed on the shopping portal.
You can even use Rakuten to earn AMEX Membership Rewards instead of cash back.
When it comes time to redeem, learning your card’s transfer partners is key. This is almost always the best way to use your points. For example, all major card programs transfer points to Air France-KLM Flying Blue. You can book flights to Europe for just 12k points through this program – a pretty insane deal! The list of transfer partners can be found on your online account under “Transfer Points”, “Transfer to Travel Partners”, “Convert Rewards” or a similar page, depending on your bank.
You might not see the airline you want to fly, but this is where airline partnerships and alliances come into play. For example, Chase points don’t transfer to Delta, but they transfer to Virgin Atlantic and Air France – both SkyTeam partners of Delta. These two programs can often book Delta-operated flights at a much lower rate than what Delta charges.
Allison Tackette (@luckytictac): Analyze Where You Spend The Most Money
While earning welcome offers will earn you points faster, find ways to boost your points where you spend the most money. Look for the top 1 – 3 areas where you spend the most. Then find a card that earns the most points in that category.
Spend a ton on groceries? The American Express Gold is your best option.
Angel Trinh (@pennywisetraveler): Hit Your Spending Requirement ASAP On American Express Cards
American Express does instant approvals, so you can get a virtual card number right away and add your card number immediately to Apple Pay.
If you make your spending requirement right away, usually within a few days American Express will give you the signup bonus right away for the points, so you do not have to wait until the next statement cycle. Most banks give you the signup bonus within 1-2 statement cycles.
American Express also has calendar benefits, so if you get a card right away for December 2023 you can also take advantage of getting the same benefit in January 2024.
For example, on the Amex Platinum card, you can get both in December 2023 and January 2024 $200 hotel credit, $50 Saks, $200 airline incidental credit, $20 entertainment credit, $35 Uber (for December 2023), and $15 Uber for January 2024.
You also get to enjoy the airport lounge benefits right away which include Centurion Lounge, Escape Lounges, Delta Sky Club (you must fly Delta same day), Plaza Premium, Priority Pass lounges (not including restaurants), and Air Space.
Angelo Minella (@paidwithpoints): Buy Gift Cards At Grocery Stores To Maximize Points For End-Of-Year Travel
I implement this strategy every day and you can optimize with holiday spend. I use the AMEX Gold because it earns 4x / $1 on grocery spend. (Any high-earning grocery card will do). Go to a qualified grocery store and buy gift cards from there to use elsewhere. For example, a $100 Lowes gift card will earn you 400 points and you use that gift card at Lowes. Rinse and repeat this method and you can earn a lot of points over time.
Another method is to refer your friends to sign up for a card, such as the AMEX Gold. AMEX referral program allows you to earn up to 100,000 Membership Rewards points for successfully approved referrals.
Mix the grocery spend and a few referrals and you can fly business class to Europe with those membership rewards points by transferring them into partnered airlines!
Ryan Horn (@profitsandpoints): Make Use Of Bank Retention Offers To Earn Additional Credit Card Points
One under-appreciated way of earning additional credit card points is through retention offers. Banks really do not want to lose you as a customer, so you can contact them and see if they have any retention offers associated with your account to encourage you to keep your card open longer. All you have to do is call or chat with the bank!
These offers commonly take the form of credit card points but they could also be statement credits or an annual fee credit. It only takes a little bit of your time, and it could net you enough points to book that next trip. I have earned thousands of points over the years via retention offers.
Remember: it never hurts to ask!
Sierra Smith (@highsierrapoints): Maximize Point Multipliers During Holiday Shopping
SIERRA SMITH
Aim for cards that earn transferable points from banks like American Express, Chase, Capital One, and Citi. Try to maximize point multipliers during holiday shopping – like 4x at grocery stores with the Amex Gold card. When redeeming your points compare the cash, travel portal, and transfer partner costs to find the best value.
Use tools like seats.aero or point.me to help you find award flights with transfer partners.
Spencer Howard (@straighttothepoints): Book Last Minute Flights With Points To Save Money & Flight Points
Sign up for business and first class flight alerts here.
If you’re trying to book flights with points and miles, be ready to book last minute but accept that it just might not happen on busy travel days. Sometimes, you’ll have to keep an eye out for options for days before something pops.
Kali Uchis has a big year ahead of her. Her album Orquídeas is set to drop in a matter of hours, she’s performing at BottleRock Napa Valley this summer, and today (January 11), she revealed the biggest news of all: She announced she is pregnant with her and Don Toliver’s first baby together.
In a 30-second video shared on both Uchis and Toliver’s Instagram accounts, there’s professionally shot footage showing off Uchis’ baby bump, as well as clips of the couple at doctor’s appointments and clips of the two when they were kids themselves. Uchis captioned the post, “Starting our family [mending heart emoji] don’t take too long to get here little pooks, mom & dad can’t wait to share our life with you.”
It had been rumored for months that Uchis is pregnant, but now she has finally confirmed the news herself.
Toliver first confirmed he and Uchis were an item in 2021, saying, “We’re not crazy public or nothing like that. We just vibe.” He gushed about her in a 2023 interview with Nardwuar, saying, “She’s amazing. I love her artistry! Her artistry is beyond.”
During a REAL 92.3 LA interview, Uchis called starting her own family “one of my biggest goals in life,” noting that she’d ultimately like to have two kids.
The timing of the baby announcement makes this an especially exciting weekend for Uchis, whose new album is out on January 12.
The 18-week gauntlet of the NFL regular season is over, and the lights are getting brighter. Wild Card Weekend arrives in mid-January with six games on the docket between Saturday afternoon and the evening of Martin Luther King Jr. Day on Monday. While the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers enjoy some time off after earning No. 1 seeds, the rest of the playoff contenders are in action and, in this space, that means a wide-ranging schedule to evaluate and handicap. For more, our own Robby Kalland also has a betting guide for the weekend.
TEASER: Houston Texans (+8.5) over Cleveland Browns and Dallas Cowboys (-1.5) over Green Bay Packers — DraftKings
You knew we would have a teaser, didn’t you? Rookie quarterbacks do scare me a bit in the playoffs, especially when facing a very good Browns defense. However, CJ Stroud isn’t a typical rookie. He’s also playing at home with Joe Flacco on the other side. With a total in the low-to-mid 40’s, I love grabbing 8.5 with the Texans. On the other side of this one, I’m not sold on the Cowboys as a Super Bowl team right now or anything, but they’ve been great at home, and I think this is a relatively friendly spot.
Miami Dolphins and Kansas City Chiefs UNDER 44.5 points — FanDuel
It’s going to be unfathomably cold in Kansas City on Saturday. That helps push me Under here, but this is also a bet that the 2023/2024 version of the Chiefs is more likely to show up than previous ones. Namely, this is a very good defensive team right now, and the Dolphins aren’t the same on the road, much less in these conditions. I lean to Kansas City, but I don’t want to lay four points. Let’s get some punts.
Los Angeles Rams (+3) over Detroit Lions — Widely Available
If this was a full, 16-game week, this probably wouldn’t make the card. The line makes sense, and I don’t think this is a huge numerical edge. I do like what I’ve seen from the Rams. The Lions are the Lions. We’re also getting a full field goal. Let’s rock.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+3) over Philadelphia Eagles — Widely Available
Simply a principle play. I knew I’d have the Bucs from the moment the matchup was set. Maybe Philadelphia finally wake up here. The Eagles are more talented, by far. But that defense is hideous right now, there are injuries everywhere, and I can’t fathom laying points on the road with Philly. Go, Baker, go.
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