Month: January 2024

Zoe’s story, “Removed,” has been seen by millions of people.

It was previously shared by my amazing Upworthy colleague Laura Willard. We got just a tiny taste of what it was like for kids in foster care, right after being removed. Specifically, a little girl named Zoe and her little brother Benaiah.

My wife and I, foster parents for the past year, even shared the original with our adoption worker, who passed it along to the entire agency and, then, it took off like wildfire among those people as well.

This is part 2 of that story, and it hits hard.

(Yes, the video’s on the long side at about 20 minutes. But it’s worth the watch to the end.)

She describes her life as a cycle, interrupted by a tornado. She’s a foster child. I don’t think I need to say any more.

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So … let’s accompany that with 9 uncomfortable — but enlightening — facts below. There are only nine bolded, but within those headers, there are several more facts.

1. There are an estimated 400,000 kids in foster care right now.

Some are awaiting adoption. Some will go back to their parents. Others will age out or, sometimes, run away.

2. Foster kids can suffer from PTSD at almost two times the rate of returning veterans.

And PTSD can mimic a lot of other mental illnesses, and it can manifest as nightmares, flashbacks, fight-or-flee responses, anger outbursts, and hyper-vigilance (being on “red alert” at all times), among other symptoms.

3. The average age of a foster child is 9 years old.

They’re just on that edge of childhood, and chances are, it’s been a pretty messed up childhood at that. Trauma does that.

4. About half of all foster kids are in non-relative foster homes.

8% are in institutions, 6% are in group homes, and only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes. Read that again — only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes.

5. Some of foster children experience multiple placements. In some cases, eight or more.

That’s eight homes that they move into — and out of. And just consider … that means they lose not just adults and other kids with whom they are establishing a bond, but friends, schoolmates, pets.

6. The average foster child remains in the system for almost two years before being reunited with their biological parents, adopted, aging out, or other outcomes.

8% of them remain in foster care for over five years. Of the 238,000 foster kids who left the system in 2013, about half were reunited with parents or primary caregivers, 21% were adopted, 15% went to live with a relative or other guardian, and 10% were emancipated (aged out).

7. In 2013, more than 23,000 young people aged out of foster care with no permanent family to end up with.

And if you add that up, year after year, hundreds of thousands of foster youth will have aged out of the system. What does that look like? “You’re 18. You’ve got no place to live and no family. Good luck — buh-bye now!” One-quarter of former foster kids experience homelessness within four years of exiting the system.

8. Foster “alumni” (those who have been in foster homes and either adopted, returned to parents, or aged out) are likely to suffer serious mental health consequences.

They are four-five times more likely to be hospitalized for attempting suicide and five-eight times more likely to be hospitalized for serious psychiatric disorders in their teens.

Based on that set of statistics alone, it’s in the public’s interest (ignoring, for a second, the interests of those kids) to help them through their lot in life and spend resources making it all work much better for everybody before it gets to that point. Right?

So there’s a lot to be angry about in this whole messed up situation. But this next thing? My blood boils.

What’s one of the biggest risk factors in families whose children are placed in foster care?

Your guess?

Cruelty?

Drugs?

Sexual abuse?

Neglect?

The answer is …

9. Poverty

Together with homelessness and unemployment, it’s a main contributing factor. It happens all the time. The fact that it’s far easier for a parent to be accused and investigated for neglect or abuse because of simple things like lack of access to a vehicle, or a working refrigerator, or the ability to get a kid to a doctor’s appointment — that has a lot to do with this. Tie that to the link between drug abuse and poverty and between poverty and child abuse … well, you can see where this is going.

And in a country where one-third of children are living in poverty (hint: the good ol’ U.S. of A.), imagine how that affects the number of kids being removed and placed into foster care.

I’ll end this with a bit of hope through my story.

My kids went through something a lot like the kids in the clip above before they came to live with us. We’ve been through the ringer in ways that we’re going to have to talk about one day because it’s not just that the kids have been challenging — they have — it’s that the system itself has been more challenging.

The entire system — from agencies to government entities to social workers to even the schools — seems like it’s designed to fail these kids and the families who are attempting to help. It’s almost designed not to work. There, I said it.

But that doesn’t mean we won’t fight to make it better for everybody. We most definitely will.

As for us, we’re just a few weeks away from becoming the legal parents to these kids, and we’re extremely happy to be right here, making it happen. And they seem quite happy to be our kids. Along the way, we fell in love with them, and we can’t imagine life without them.

But to be totally honest … if we’d have known how hard it was going to be when we started this journey, and if we could somehow turn back the clock and NOT do it … well, would we have actually gone forward with the process?

I take that back. I won’t be totally honest here. I will simply let you decide.

Here are some places to help, if you’re so inclined.

• AdoptUsKids.org is a place to start if you’re considering fostering or adopting.
• My Stuff Bags is a really cool and inexpensive way to help foster kids by gifting them actual luggage, duffel bags, and more, so that they don’t travel from home to home with garbage bags for their belongings — or nothing at all.
• CASA for Children offers legal help and advocates for foster kids through a network of volunteers.

The Carters are one of music’s most secretive families.

It is often joked that they must have an iron-clad non-disclosure agreement because when Beyoncé or Jay-Z are working on a new professional endeavor, it is kept under tight seal. Or at least it used to be. Over the past few days, behind-the-scene footage of Beyoncé’s seemingly scrapped visuals for her Grammy Award-winning album, Renaissance, has surfaced online. Jay-Z appears to be battling the same issue in his camp.

Is Jay-Z Dropping A New Album In 2024?

According to a viral rumor initiated by AWGE-affiliated Hidji, the “God Did” rapper has a new album in the works and visuals to support it. On January 28, the director took to his Instagram Stories to share two posts confirming that he had been tapped to bring part of Jay-Z’s vision to light. The only problem is Roc Nation quickly took to its official X (formerly Twitter) page to shut down the rumor.

As Hidji uploaded a picture of a clapboard labeled “Jay-Z – 2024 Album,” fans began to build up excitement for the forthcoming visual. Roc Nation replied to the images shared on the NFR Podcast’s page that even they were unaware their founder was working on a new body of work. “That’s news to us,” wrote the company.

So, is Jay-Z releasing a new album or not? It surely feels like it. Back in November, during an interview with Gayle King, when discussing his The Book Of HOV exhibit, he implied that he wasn’t quite ready to walk away from music just yet. Jay-Z’s last album, 4:44, was released in 2017. This would be a great time to drop something fresh.

Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and violence.

A recent video by Just Not Sports took two prominent female sportswriters and had regular guys* read the awful abuse they receive online aloud.

Sportswriters Sarah Spain and Julie DiCaro sat by as men read some of the most vile tweets they receive on a daily basis. See how long you can last watching it.

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*(Note: The men reading them did not write these comments; they’re just being helpful volunteers to prove a point.)

It starts out kind of jokey but eventually devolves into messages like this:

These types of messages come in response to one thing: The women were doing their jobs.

Those wishes that DiCaro would die by hockey stick and get raped? Those were the result of her simply reporting on the National Hockey League’s most disturbing ordeal: the Patrick Kane rape case, in which one of the league’s top players was accused of rape.

DiCaro wasn’t writing opinion pieces. She was simply reporting things like what the police said, statements from lawyers, and just general everyday work reporters do. In response, she received a deluge of death threats. Her male colleagues didn’t receive nearly the same amount of abuse.

It got to the point where she and her employer thought it best to stay home for a day or two for her own physical safety.

The men in the video seemed absolutely shocked that real live human beings would attack someone simply for doing their jobs.

Most found themselves speechless or, at very least, struggling to read the words being presented.

Think this is all just anecdotal? There’s evidence to the contrary.

The Guardian did a study to find out how bad this problem really is.

They did a study of over 70 million comments that have been posted on their site since 2006. They counted how many comments that violated their comment policy were blocked.

The stats were staggering.

From their comprehensive and disturbing article:

“Although the majority of our regular opinion writers are white men, we found that those who experienced the highest levels of abuse and dismissive trolling were not. The 10 regular writers who got the most abuse were eight women (four white and four non-white) and two black men. Two of the women and one of the men were gay. And of the eight women in the ‘top 10’, one was Muslim and one Jewish.

And the 10 regular writers who got the least abuse? All men.”

So what can people do about this kind of harassment once they know it exists?

1. To start? Share things that make people aware it’s happening. Listen to the Just Not Sports podcast where they talk about it.
2. If you know someone who talks like this to anyone on the internet, CALL THEM OUT. Publicly, privately — just let them know it’s not OK to talk to anyone like this.
3. Don’t stop talking about it. Every day, the harassment continues. Don’t let it linger without attention.

There are no easy answers. But the more people who know this behavior exists, the more people there will be to tell others it’s not OK to talk to anyone like that.

Watch the whole video below:

.This article originally appeared on 04.27.16

A breastfeeding mother’s experience at Vienna’s Schoenbrunn Zoo is touching people’s hearts—but not without a fair amount of controversy.

Gemma Copeland shared her story on Facebook, which was then picked up by the Facebook page Boobie Babies. Photos show the mom breastfeeding her baby next to the window of the zoo’s orangutan habitat, with a female orangutan sitting close to the glass, gazing at them.

“Today I got feeding support from the most unlikely of places, the most surreal moment of my life that had me in tears,” Copeland wrote.

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“I visited Schoenbrunn zoo in Vienna whilst on a mini-break with my partner and son. We nipped in to see the orangutans at the end of our day who were happily playing in the enclosure, so I went to the window for a closer look and sat down by the window so my lb could see the orangutan who was roughly 5/6ft away. She then got up, carried a piece of cloth to the window and sat down with me. She looked directly into my eyes then placed her hand up as if to touch my son. I was in awe of this beautiful creature already.“

“My son wanted feeding and as it was quiet I fed him whilst I sat there. The way the orangutan reacted took my breath away she kept looking at me, then my son then back again,” she continued. “She sat with me for approximately half an hour, kept stroking the glass and lay down next to me as if to support and protect me.

I had to share this because my mind was blown. We may be a species apart but breastfeeding connected us today in a once in a lifetime moment that will stay with me forever. I’m also incredibly lucky that my partner caught all of this on video 💕”

The Facebook page added a story about a gorilla being taught to breastfeed by women from La Leche League, an organization dedicated to supporting breastfeeders:

“Did you know that women from La Leche League once taught a mother gorilla to breastfeed? The Mamma gorilla had been born and raised in captivity and didn’t know what to do with her firstborn, and her baby sadly died. When she next became pregnant, breastfeeding women volunteered to sit beside the gorilla’s enclosure and breastfeed their babies, showing the gorilla what to do. When the gorilla gave birth, a volunteer came over and breastfed her baby, showing Mamma gorilla what to do, step by step. Mamma gorilla watched, and then copied, and went on to successfully feed her baby “

The story has been shared more than 37,000 times, with many commenters stating how beautiful and moving it was. Others, while appreciating the beauty of the animal encounter, expressed sadness at seeing such a creature in captivity. As with practically every post about animals in zoos, debate broke out over whether or not zoos are helpful or harmful to the animals they house.

And like most debates, people’s opinions fall along a broad spectrum. Some feel that zoos are the best way for people to learn about animals first-hand, which leads them to care more about protecting them in the wild. Some acknowledge that captivity isn’t ideal, but that many animals die individually or go extinct as species without the work they do. Some feel that it’s always wrong to keep an animal in captivity, no matter what. Even animal experts don’t agree on this front.

And not all zoos are created equal. Many zoos have moved more toward a rehabilitation and conservation model, and there’s no question that many animals who have been raised in captivity would not survive if they were suddenly released into the wild. There’s also the issue of whether trying to limit natural breeding in captivity falls under the ethical treatment of animals, as breeding is a natural animal instinct. And what about the animals that have gone extinct in the wild and can only be found in zoos? There are a million questions with a million unclear answers when it comes to zoos.

However there is one thing most can agree on. Whether or not you think zoos are helpful or harmful, necessary or not, they largely exist today because of human activity mucking with nature. The same nature that compels this creature to connect with a human mother, despite her unnatural surroundings. The same nature that humans are destroying to get palm oil for our cookies and soaps, leading orangutans to the brink of extinction. The same nature that we are all responsible for protecting.

Whether we find this story sweet or sad or something in between, the reality for orangutans in the wild is worth our attention. Visit www.theorangutanproject.org/ to learn more about how to help.

This article originally appeared on 10.04.22

The world would be a much better place if humans weren’t so … human. We all fall short of perfection. Common sense is, sadly, not too common. And there’s one guy out there who always manages to screw things up when things start getting good.

Call it Murphy’s law. Call it the great “reason we can’t have nice things.” Call it entropy. It feels like a whole lot of pain could be avoided if we all had just a little bit more sense.

But what if there was one rule that we all agreed to follow to make everyone’s life better? What would this magical rule be?

A Reddit user who goes by the name P4insplatter came to this realization and asked the AskReddit subforum, “What simple rule would fix the world if everyone actually followed it?” They received dozens of simple rules that if everyone got behind would make the world drastically better.

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It’s no shock that most of them felt like a variation of the Golden Rule. It’s funny that a lot of folks believe the world would seriously improve if we could just abide by a simple saying that we all learned in kindergarten.

Also known as the “ethics of reciprocity,” the Golden Rule is so innate to humans that versions of it have been found in religions and cultures throughout the world.

Here are 17 of the best responses to P4insplatter’s simple, but world-altering question.

1. Let go

“Let go or be dragged” an old zen proverb I heard at a meditation class. Really changed the way I let myself worry about things.” — civagigi

2. Simple, but true

“Don’t be a dick.” — WuTangLAN93

3. The Golden Rule

“Treat others how you want to be treated.” — AlbanyGuy1973

4. It starts with you

“I read somewhere that if you want to change the world, you have to change the community, to change the community change your relationships, and to change your relationships change yourself.” — cagibaxii

5. Simple Earth math

“Don’t use more resources than what the Earth is capable of renewing.” — DaethSpiral321

6. Bill and Ted’s rule

“Be excellent to each other.” — pnotar

7. The law of Lebowski

“Fuck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling.” — Bonhomme7h

8. Signal

“Use your turn signal(s) properly.” — futilelord

9. The principle of non-agression

“Simple, the non-aggression principle. You don’t do, initiate or threat any harm unto others, unless acting in true self defense.” — ufrag

10. It works for everything

“Leave it better than you found it.” — Narcoid

11. Generosity and humility

“Be generous and humble. Being generous and kind encourages us to perceive others in a more positive light and fosters a sense of community. Humility teaches you to improve and make a positive impact on the world.” — SuvenPan

12. STFU

“If you are not educated on the subject, sit down and stfu. Let the experts with years of education and experience talk.” — Ch3m1cal420

13. Fairness first

“Everyone gets a chance at one [thing] before anyone gets seconds.” — ehsteve23

14. Permanent daylight

“Obviously making daylight savings permanent.” — ObviousINstruction18

15. Two ears, one mouth

“Listen more, talk less.” — TryToHelpPeople

16. Turn off the lights

“All empty buildings should not have any lights/ac/heating on at night or after business hours depending on the nature of the work. their ac/heating and lights if necessary should only be turned on before the start of the day. This will not only help with energy costs but also with light pollution.” — hadrainsgate

17. Don’t tread on anyone

“You cannot do ANYTHING without consent.” — DeepCompote

This article originally appeared on 03.17.22

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.

The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

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“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son’s teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don’t care who you are, that’s bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can’t take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon – Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let’s try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn’t teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That’s what they’re actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.

This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

There is a bevy of artists on Uproxx’s most anticipated album releases set for 2024 list. However, Jay-Z isn’t on the list. The reasoning is that the “I Want You Forever” rapper hasn’t expressed any inkling that he’s looked in on a new solo studio project. From his 2023 public playlist to The Book Of Clarence soundtrack, these days, it seems like his focus has been on curating works for other projects.

Well, according to AWGE-affiliate Hidji, Jay-Z is ready to drop something new very soon. In a series of uploads to his Instagram Stories, the director suggested that Jay-Z has begun to film visuals to support the rumored project. However, Roc Nation swiftly jumped in to shut down the reports.

“That’s news to us,” wrote the company on its official X (formerly Twitter) page.

With the rumor quickly quashed, Roc Nation’s follow-up post drew attention to the management signee Megan Thee Stallion’s latest single, “Hiss.”

“‘Hiss’ by Megan Thee Stallion is the #1 music video on iTunes,” wrote the page. “Download the song now.”

So, what is the public to take from this flub? Either Jay-Z’s creative NDA isn’t as potent as it used to be. Or the visual in question isn’t for an album but a one-off music project. But with fans still waiting for Beyoncé’s Renaissance visuals, Hidji might’ve just forced another member of the Carter family to scrap their music videos.

Megan Thee Stallion is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

After marching down the field for a touchdown on their second drive of the game, the Baltimore Ravens offense had almost nothing working in the middle half of Sunday’s AFC Championship Game against the Kansas City Chiefs.

Lamar Jackson struggled to find a rhythm against Kansas City’s pressure, and the running game was almost non-existent. However, after some early issues of their own Baltimore’s defense bowed up and kept the Ravens in the game, holding the Chiefs to three points on six drives after their first two TD marches. That allowed Jackson and company time to try and find a spark, and it seemed they did just that on a deep pass play to Zay Flowers late in the third quarter.

Flowers got flagged for taunting L’Jarius Sneed, but Baltimore was still able to work the ball back deep into the red zone. From there, it was Flowers who was again on the receiving end of a pass over the middle from Jackson and it looked like he was set to get his second touchdown of the game, except as he dove for the goal line, Sneed dove in and punched the ball out, with the Chiefs recovering for a touchback.

Replay showed the ball got punched out clearly before Flowers crossed the goal line, and it was a reminder of the margins that swing these big games.

With a TD, the Ravens would’ve been a field goal away from tying the game (or a TD away from taking their first lead). Instead, they had to watch Mahomes and company go back to work, moving the ball across midfield before stalling out and taking some precious time off the clock before pinning the Ravens on their own 1, still needing two scores.

Oppenheimer is that rarest of movies: a modern movie that’s a) not part of a franchise, b) rated R, c) about adult (that is, serious) subject matter, and d) both critically acclaimed and a big-time money-gobbler. Oh and there’s this: it features a sex scene. No one does sex scenes in mainstream movies anymore. They’re so rare that there was the film’s few moments of horseplay inspired a smallish amount of controversy. Perhaps it even angered the gods.

“In the middle of our sex scene, the camera broke,” Florence Pugh told the crowd at a recent Universal panel, as per The Hollywood Reporter. “No one knows this, but it did. Our camera broke when we were both naked, and it was not ideal timing.”

Oppenheimer’s sex scenes involve Cillian Muprhy’s titular physicist and Florence Pugh’s Jean Tatlock, one of his former paramours with whom he has an assignation during his marriage to Emily Blunt’s Kitty. It sounds like the moment of coitus interruptus occurred during an earlier hook-up, before Oppenheimer gets hitched.

“Cillian and I are in this room together. It’s a closed set, so we’re both holding our bodies like this,” Pugh said, then wrapped her arms around herself.

But Pugh decided to make the most out of the situation. She decided “this is my moment to learn,” then turned to the camera surgeon and asked, “So tell me, what’s wrong with this camera?” She remembers asking things like “What’s going on with the shutter here, buddy?”

Pugh praised Christopher Nolan’s famously intense set, where chairs might not be discouraged but bathrooms breaks kind of are. She said that “every person on this set was so knowledgeable and was so ready to make this kind of movie that there was no dull moment. It was all amazing. It felt like we were lucky to be there every second of the day.”

Oppenheimer, recently nominated for a slew of Oscars, is back on some IMAX screens and is available for rental and to own.

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

Viral sensation PinkPantheress had a monstrous year in 2023. Following the success of her hit single, “Boy’s A Liar Pt. 2” with Ice Spice, she was a fixture in pop culture. Not only did the track have a strong hold on the music charts, but it also made PinkPantheress the most sought-after product ambassador.

However, with PinkPantheress preparing to hit the road for the Capable Of Love Tour this spring, her focus is on the music. Yesterday (January 27), the musician teased that something new was coming on her official TikTok page. In a Y2K fashion-inspired get ready with me video, PinkPantheress shared a snippet of an unreleased track.

The video captioned: “New music anyone? LOL” had followers clamoring for the whole song.

PinkPantheress major label debut album, Heaven Knows, was only released back in November. Despite the body of work not receiving any nomination at the 2024 Grammy Awards, that hasn’t stopped Heaven Knows from earning critics’ praise.

It is unclear if the unreleased song will be shared on the deluxe version of Heaven Knows or a separate project entirely. Either way, the musician’s fans are ready to show their support.

PinkPantheress is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.