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‘White Lotus’ Actor Tom Hollander Says He Was Once Mistakenly Sent An Enormous Payslip Meant For…Tom Holland

Tom Holland Hollander
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Tom Hollander and Tom Holland have a few things in common. Both are British actors. Both have done big-time franchise movies (Hollander was a baddie in two Pirates of the Caribbeans and Queen’s manager in Bohemian Rhapsody; Holland does something or other with Marvel). Oh, and both have almost the same name. When your surnames are but two letters off, people are bound to make some mistakes. For instance, once Hollander (that is, the one who’s not Spider-Man) was sent one of Holland’s payslips, and given its size the error was downright sadistic.

Per Entertainment Weekly, Hollander — who recently played one of the murderous “gays” on the second season of The White Lotus — appeared on Monday’s episode of Late Night with Seth Meyers. One night, while seeing a friend’s play, he checked his email during intermission. One was from his agency, and it read, “Payment advice slip: Your first box office bonus for The Avengers.”

“And I thought, ‘I don’t think I’m in The Avengers,’” Hollander recalled thinking to himself.

Sadly, Hollander was right, he’s not in The Avengers movies, a fact driven home even more by the large size of the payslip.

“It was an astonishing amount of money,” Hollander remembered. “And it was not his salary, it was his first box office bonus. Not the whole box office, the first one. And it was more money than I’ve ever — it was a seven-figure sum. He was 20 or something. So my feeling of smugness that you remember I had in the first half disappeared very quickly.”

Though Hollander and Holland share many differences, most notably age, having nearly the same surname has proven “very difficult” over the years, at least for Hollander.

“Obviously I don’t actually get mistaken for him, but in non-visual contexts I am mistaken for him all the time,” Hollander said. “So like, talking to utility companies, they just, ‘And what’s your name?’ And they go, ‘Tom Holland?’ Because they’ve heard ‘Tom Holland.’ Tom Holland? I go, ‘No, it’s Tom Hollander.’”

Somtimes, he recalled, “I’m introduced to somebody’s very, very excited, then confused, then disappointed children. They go, ‘My children are so excited to meet you.’ And I go, ‘Are they, though?’”

He added, “They come out and they go, ‘Where is he? Where is he?’ And they go, ‘No, no.’”

You can watch Hollander talk about the wacky mix-ups in the video below.

(Via EW)

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USA Basketball Left Draymond Green Out Of Its Olympic Player Pool Over ‘What’s Transpired This Year’

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Earlier this week, USA Basketball released a provisional roster of 41 players who are being considered for the men’s roster ahead of the Olympic Games in Paris this summer. There is a whole lot of pressure on the Americans, which are looking to win their fifth consecutive gold medal at the event but are coming off of a disappointing fourth place finish at the FIBA Basketball World Cup.

The level of competition in the international game is as high as it’s ever been, so the provisional roster featured a number of experienced players who have gotten the job done at this level. Curiously, one name that was left off the list was Draymond Green, who played a role on each of the last two Olympic squads and suits up for USA coach Steve Kerr as a member of the Golden State Warriors. During a media call on Wednesday, USA Basketball executive director Grant Hill got asked specifically about Green’s omission, and pointed to the on-court incidents involving Green that have put him in some hot water over the last year.

“His contributions have been significant, and he is a real part of the legacy of this organization for his excellence,” Hill said, per ESPN’s Brian Windhorst. “But I think just in lieu of sort of what’s transpired this year, we made a decision to not have [Green] on this list with this particular point in time with the process.”

While Hill did not go into specific incidents, Green has received three separate suspensions from the NBA dating back to April, when he received a 1-game ban after a stomp on Domantas Sabonis during the playoffs. This season, Green got a 5-game suspension for putting Rudy Gobert in a chokehold, and shortly after he came back, he received an indefinite suspension (which ended up lasting 12 games) for hitting Jusuf Nurkic in the head.

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A popular optical illusion with a mindbending twist proves we can’t trust our senses

Optical illusions are universally beloved for how they trick our brains and blow our minds. There’s a reason we enjoy magic shows and Escher paintings and are mesmerized by fake oases in the desert. We love seeing things that bend our perceptions of reality, and the science behind the magic always proves fascinating as well.


The Ames window is a pretty well-known optical illusion, but it’s always cool to see. When spun, the angled window appears to oscillate back and forth instead of spin all the way around. But this video adds a twist that makes the effect even more mindbending—our brains simply can’t process objective reality mixed with an optical illusion.

The YouTube channel Curiosity Show explains the science of the illusion and gives a DIY demonstration for making your own Ames window. But wait until the pen gets taped to the window and spun. This is some real-life magic right here. Mind. Blown.

This article originally appeared on 02.21.20

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Woman shares sweet exchange with 92-year-old grandpa who invited her over for ‘sleepover’

Loneliness is one of the most dangerous health problems in the United States, although it’s seldom discussed. Psychology Today says loneliness has the same mortality risks as obesity, smoking, alcoholism and physical inactivity.

A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her. The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.


It started when Megan’s grandpa texted her to ask if she’d like to come over for a sleepover. “I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa,” he wrote.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind,” he asked. “And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!”

He also wanted some strawberry ice cream for dessert. “Thank you. You are my favorite granddaughter,” he ended the conversation. Megan later noted that she’s his only granddaughter.

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.” When it was time for bed, grandpa hadn’t forgotten how to put her to sleep. He got her a glass of water to put by the bed in case she got thirsty and left a flashlight on the nightstand just in case his 29-year-old granddaughter got scared.

The next morning, at 5:30 am, he watched her leave for work.

Grandfather and granddaughter grew up close to one another. Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

“I am so lucky to have grown up with my grandpa and my grandma (rest in peace),” she wrote on Instagram. “I feel so happy. I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she added.

Megan’s time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

“I think one of the most important realizations I have had recently is that it’s important to live in the moment but it is important to live in the now with intent,” she wrote on Instagram, “so that when you are 92, you look back and smile at all the people you loved, the memories you made and the life you chose to live.”

This article originally appeared on 04.27.22

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Europeans are admitting these 15 everyday American conveniences feel like a ‘luxury’

Even though European countries and America are roughly on the same level regarding development, there are still some stark differences in their ways of life. Americans may look to Europe and feel a bit jealous over their free healthcare systems and more laid-back approach to their professional lives.

But Europeans who visit America are also in awe of some of the everyday things that Americans take for granted, which seem to be luxuries.

A Reddit user named Prof_XdR asked Europeans on the AskReddit subforum to share the everyday American things that they believe are luxuries, and the question received nearly 13,000 responses.


Clearly, Europeans admire many things about the American way of life.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Europeans of Reddit, what do Americans have every day that you see as a luxury?”

1. Disability access

“Disability access everywhere. I can go to any place — theater, store, office, school, whatever — with confidence that I’ll be able to navigate fine in my wheelchair. They’ll have ramps and/or elevators.” — 5AgainstRhoneIsland

“Of all the things in this thread, the disability access is it IMO. The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was an absolute game changer, and European countries and the EU as a whole should be embarrassed for not having something like it.” — Jedrekk

2. Climate changes

“You can pretty much choose to live in any climate you like when you live in the USA and still be in the same country. You like 4 seasons: Move to the Northeast. You like the humid ocean climate – move to Seattle. You like dry warm weather – move to Los Angeles. You like deserts, move to Arizona. You like warm and humid weather – move to the Southeast.” — DachauPrince

“I work as an ecologist and the amount of biodiversity in California is insane. I’ll do biological surveys a few hundred miles apart and see so many different plants and animals at each site. I’ve even done work at sites fairly close to each other (sub 50 miles apart) and will still find stark differences between sites. It’s a magic state for wildlife biologists.” — Skinsnax

3. Big kitchens

“Big kitchens and big refrigerators/ freezers. Even in my student apartment, we had a pretty good-sized kitchen. I was dating a Czech girl and her parents came to visit. When they went to my apartment for dinner, the mom was just amazed at the size of my fridge. They were amused when I dumped the scraps in the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. They’d heard about it but had never seen one.” — Granadafan

4. Square footage

“The massive houses, a special room just for your massive washer and dryer units, 2 car garage, basically you have tons of space.” — Howiebledsoe

“The size of your homes in places like Utah and Texas. There’s a dedicated room for everything. Kids playroom that isn’t the living room or the kid’s bedroom, walk-in pantry room, a laundry room.” — mcnunu

5. Free refills

“As an American, it’s so easy to take this for granted. Similarly, getting free ice water in the US as well is something I often forget isn’t exactly a thing in many other parts of the world.” — Gaveuptheghost

6. National parks

“There’s just human development on virtually every inch of large parts of Europe. So even when there are parks, they’re not always as untouched as American parks. And the population density in large parts of Europe means you see a lot more people in the parks. America has national parks that are so untouched and massive that you can really be alone if you want to be.” — CactusBoyScout

7. A/C

“Americans pump it all summer long.” — Websurfer49

8. Two peaceful neighbors (Mexico and Canada)

“Remember, the world’s longest undefended border is between Canada and the United States. That says something about our relationship.” — Dervishler

“We Europeans both love and hate each other in ways that Americans will never understand. But basically, not being French should be enough.” — TitanFox98

10. Big schools

“My high school just had a pool, 3 gyms, an agricultural barn with stalls for students to keep the animals they were raising to show at the rodeo, a few labs, a theater, a full-size kitchen that was used for the culinary classes to share (not the cafeteria), 3 tennis courts, 2 soccer fields that were also used for football practice, and a football stadium with a Jumbotron. At the end of the year, the culinary classes would cook breakfast for the graduating class.” — Elephantepiphany

11. Free bathrooms

“As an American who lived in Europe with little kids, this was frustrating. My wife found an app of free public restrooms in Europe.” — QuotidianPain

12. Mexican food

“Real Mexican food. We have Mexican restaurants in my home country, but the owners are usually not Mexican and it’s just not the same. Now, I’m living in Japan and it’s the same problem… Mexican food is so delicious.” — punpun_Osa

13. Supermarkets

“Enormous supermarkets with abundant choice. I always feel like I’m in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory when I enter one. There’s so much stuff!” — Better protection

14. Big showers

“This stands out – I have two really great friends (an expat woman and her husband) that live in the UK, and when I went to stay at their first place together, their shower was like a 2-foot-wide plastic shield outside of the bathtub. I had to stay so close to the wall, so I didn’t spray water all over the bathroom.” — IGNSolar7

15. Money

“There’s a huge gap between the volume of physical/material stuff Americans count as normal and what Europeans consider normal. An American home might have three TVs versus one, six or seven rooms full of furniture instead of two or three, extra small appliances added all the time like air fryers and espresso machines, new PCs and phones every couple of years because of constant upgrade marketing … the American perception that there’s not enough money is partly down to the giant volume of things Americans regard as minimum equipment.” — AnotherPint

“In effect, when you account for wages and cost of living, luxuries (which usually have similar prices around the world) are proportionally cheaper for Americans. They make up less of their wage and, therefore, make less of a difference. Standard of living is completely different for a working-class American because they can afford luxuries people from working class in other countries can’t.” — ltlyellowcould

2. Climate changes

“You can pretty much choose to live in any climate you like when you live in the USA and still be in the same country. You like 4 seasons: Move to the Northeast. You like the humid ocean climate – move to Seattle. You like dry warm weather – move to Los Angeles. You like deserts, move to Arizona. You like warm and humid weather – move to the Southeast.” — DachauPrince

“I work as an ecologist and the amount of biodiversity in California is insane. I’ll do biological surveys a few hundred miles apart and see so many different plants and animals at each site. I’ve even done work at sites fairly close to each other (sub 50 miles apart) and will still find stark differences between sites. It’s a magic state for wildlife biologists.” — Skinsnax

3. Big kitchens

“Big kitchens and big refrigerators/ freezers. Even in my student apartment, we had a pretty good-sized kitchen. I was dating a Czech girl and her parents came to visit. When they went to my apartment for dinner, the mom was just amazed at the size of my fridge. They were amused when I dumped the scraps in the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. They’d heard about it but had never seen one.” — Granadafan

4. Square footage

“The massive houses, a special room just for your massive washer and dryer units, 2 car garage, basically you have tons of space.” — Howiebledsoe

“The size of your homes in places like Utah and Texas. There’s a dedicated room for everything. Kids playroom that isn’t the living room or the kid’s bedroom, walk-in pantry room, a laundry room.” — mcnunu

5. Free refills

“As an American, it’s so easy to take this for granted. Similarly, getting free ice water in the US as well is something I often forget isn’t exactly a thing in many other parts of the world.” — Gaveuptheghost

6. National parks

“There’s just human development on virtually every inch of large parts of Europe. So even when there are parks, they’re not always as untouched as American parks. And the population density in large parts of Europe means you see a lot more people in the parks. America has national parks that are so untouched and massive that you can really be alone if you want to be.” — CactusBoyScout

7. A/C

“Americans pump it all summer long.” — Websurfer49

8. Two peaceful neighbors (Mexico and Canada)

“Remember, the world’s longest undefended border is between Canada and the United States. That says something about our relationship.” — Dervishler

“We Europeans both love and hate each other in ways that Americans will never understand. But basically, not being French should be enough.” — TitanFox98

10. Big schools

“My high school just had a pool, 3 gyms, an agricultural barn with stalls for students to keep the animals they were raising to show at the rodeo, a few labs, a theater, a full-size kitchen that was used for the culinary classes to share (not the cafeteria), 3 tennis courts, 2 soccer fields that were also used for football practice, and a football stadium with a Jumbotron. At the end of the year, the culinary classes would cook breakfast for the graduating class.” — Elephantepiphany

11. Free bathrooms

“As an American who lived in Europe with little kids, this was frustrating. My wife found an app of free public restrooms in Europe.” — QuotidianPain

12. Mexican food

“Real Mexican food. We have Mexican restaurants in my home country, but the owners are usually not Mexican and it’s just not the same. Now, I’m living in Japan and it’s the same problem… Mexican food is so delicious.” — punpun_Osa

13. Supermarkets

“Enormous supermarkets with abundant choice. I always feel like I’m in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory when I enter one. There’s so much stuff!” — Better protection

14. Big showers

“This stands out – I have two really great friends (an expat woman and her husband) that live in the UK, and when I went to stay at their first place together, their shower was like a 2-foot-wide plastic shield outside of the bathtub. I had to stay so close to the wall, so I didn’t spray water all over the bathroom.” — IGNSolar7

15. Money

“There’s a huge gap between the volume of physical/material stuff Americans count as normal and what Europeans consider normal. An American home might have three TVs versus one, six or seven rooms full of furniture instead of two or three, extra small appliances added all the time like air fryers and espresso machines, new PCs and phones every couple of years because of constant upgrade marketing … the American perception that there’s not enough money is partly down to the giant volume of things Americans regard as minimum equipment.” — AnotherPint

“In effect, when you account for wages and cost of living, luxuries (which usually have similar prices around the world) are proportionally cheaper for Americans. They make up less of their wage and, therefore, make less of a difference. Standard of living is completely different for a working-class American because they can afford luxuries people from working class in other countries can’t.” — ltlyellowcould

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Woman creates the most beautiful photo album of her dog to honor his final days

We never get enough time with our pets. It’s one of life’s harshest realities. When that day does finally come, it helps to have little tokens of their memory—a cherished toy, clay paw prints…and of course, photos. No pet parent is without countless images of their fur baby tucked away.

And when Shelby Parks, and her sister Savannah, were getting ready to say goodbye to their beloved Golden Retriever Boomer, Shelby knew exactly what to do with all those photos of Boomer living his best life.


In a viral TikTok video that has been viewed 4.5 million times, we see Shelby gifting her sister a photo album of their pup. Savannah instantly tears up in the clip, and lays her head on Boomer, who is resting on a dog bed by her side.

@parkspartyplanning The one thing I wanted for Christmas was for my sister to be able to open her Christmas gift with Boomer while he’s still here So grateful for the answered prayer 🤍 this is a moment I will never forget and the best gift I could ever ask for #doglover #doglovers #christmasgift #doggift #doggifts #goldenretriever ♬ Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas – Frank Sinatra

“The one thing I wanted for Christmas was for my sister to be able to open her Christmas gift with Boomer while he’s still here,” Savannah’s caption read. “So grateful for the answered prayer. This is a moment I will never forget and the best gift I could ask for.

In a follow-up video, Shelby explained that the photo album consisted of images from Boomer’s Instagram account, which she began as a “COVID hobby.”

As the theme of his account was “celebrate everything,” images included showed Boomer enjoying both mainstream and random holidays, like Rubber Ducky Day, Squirrel Appreciation Day and Daisy Day.

As you can imagine, the photos are insanely adorable.

@parkspartyplanning Replying to @simplysummerlynn this is for everyone who was kind enough to ask to see the book I gifted my sister From when he was a puppy, Boomer has been putting a smile on everyones faces, and now I have a tiny piece bottled up in this memory book forever. Thank you to everyone for your well wishes, thoughts and prayers. It means more to me than you will ever know 🤍 #goldenretriever #boomertheretriever #doggifts #doglovers #dogloversoftiktok #christmasgift #doggifts ♬ original sound – Parks Party Planning

“If this book doesn’t show just how great of a dog Boomer is. We’ve had so much fun together. It’s literally been like having an American Girl doll as a dog,” she says in the clip. “He is one of the biggest blessings in my entire life and nine-and-a-half years is not nearly enough. But as you can see we’ve had the most amazing adventures together.”

Savannah shared with Good Morning America that Boomer was thankfully able to spend his final Christmas with his family before passing away two days later. And while the loss was heavy, having the community support has been immensely helpful.

“People relating to that pending pain was like, just such a great resource in the time and still now honestly,” said Savannah.

Shelby echoed that sentiment in a farewell Instagram post, writing, “there’s nothing on the internet quite like a family of dog lovers.”

Pet owners….never hesitate to snap that photo, give an extra cuddle, and tell your fur baby you love them. It’s never enough time, but those memories really do help keep their spirit alive forever.

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Woman’s stair renovation reveal is unexpectedly bringing people to tears

A woman is sharing a video explaining how she refinished her stairs, and people are not prepared for the emotions that come with the big reno reveal.

The video from Shari Blivin on TikTok starts off like an average home improvement video, panning up a wooden staircase that has some clear wear and tear as she explains how badly the steps needed refinishing. Several of the steps have partially worn-away finish, but one step looks particularly weathered.

That step, she explains, was the Blivin’s dog’s favorite spot, and suddenly this average home reno video takes a tear-jerking turn.


​The video shows Max, a big floofy white lab, lying on the step as Blivin shares that that was his step. He would even sleep there.

“And last year, on this day, last year, in that very spot, he put his head on my lap and went to forever sleep,” Blivin shared.

So while she did paint the previously stained steps black, which she says she loves, she did something extra special for Max’s step. Watch:

@shariblivin

I refinsihed my stairs… i oainted the steps black. But there was one step i could NOT paint over. One year ago today, my dog Max, passed away. He out his bead on my lap and went to forever sleep. He loved hos step. He even slept on it. Haha so i made it a forever tribute to him. The bestest dog, ever.

What a beautiful tribute to a beloved family members who will now forever be memorialized in his favorite spot.

You can find more from Shari Blivin on TikTok here.

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Adam Sandler shares the funny and unexpected reason Harrison Ford asked him to wash his car

By the time Adam Sandler was in his early 30s, he had starred on TV’s “Saturday Night Live” and on the big screen in “Billy Madison” and “Happy Gilmore,” so he was no stranger to celebrities. But in a 2017 appearance on “Conan,” he admitted being starstruck when he met “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones” star Harrison Ford at Carrie Fisher’s party in the late ‘90s.

Fisher, Ford’s “Star Wars” co-star, had worked with Sandler, punching up Drew Barrymore’s lines in “The Wedding Singer.”

Sandler ran into Ford and he was shocked that he knew who he was. “And then Harrison Ford looks at me … gives me like, ‘Is that you?’ kind of thing… And then he comes over and he’s like, ‘You’re the guy from the Billy Madison…’ He goes, ‘I would love for you to come over to my house’ and I was like, ‘Yeah… And then he goes, ‘And I would love for you to wash my car,” Sandler recalled.


The “Uncut Gems” star said there was a reason for the strange request.

“He (Harrison Ford) goes, ‘My kids think you’re funny and it would just be such a kick for them to see that.’ And I was like, ‘OK,’” Sandler continued.

Harrison Ford Asked Adam Sandler To Wash His Car | CONAN on TBS

Later, on an episode of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” Sandler admitted that he never washed Ford’s car, but the two have become [friendly] over the years. “I know him well now. Two times in a row, when there were fires in our neighborhood, we had to check into a hotel and Harrison was at the same hotel,” he told DeGeneres.

“I consider myself tight with Harrison now,” he said.

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Former FBI agent and spy catcher shares the body language myths we erroneously believe

If there’s one guy you don’t want to play poker with, it’s Joe Navarro.

As a former FBI agent, Navarro’s job was to catch spies—people whose entire job entails tricking people into thinking they are something they’re not. In his 25-year career with the FBI, Navarro became an expert in body language and non-verbal communication. In fact, he’s written multiple books on the subject, including “What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People” and “The Dictionary of Body Language: A Field Guide to Human Behavior.”

Navarro shared with WIRED some of the myths surrounding body language—or “non-verbals”—and some of them are so common, we probably don’t even question whether they’re true.


For instance, crossing your arms is commonly seen as a “blocking” behavior, to place a barrier between you and whoever you’re talking to. In reality, says Navarro, it’s a self-soothing behavior. Other common myths are that looking in one direction or the other is a sign of deception or that people who cover their mouth or nose are lying. It’s natural for people to look in various directions as they’re processing information and touching the nose or covering the mouth are soothing behaviors.

“We humans are lousy at detecting deception,” Navarro says. Sometimes there are clues in specific non-verbals. He shares how someone’s hair, forehead, eyes, nose, mouth and neck can offer information about a person. How a person carries themselves can tell us something as well. But there’s not one single indicator that a person is lying.

“When we study non-verbals, it’s not about making judgments,” he says. “It’s about assessing ‘What is this person transmitting in that moment?'”

Watch:

Navarro explained that reading people’s body language is often about noticing how their non-verbals change rather than just what they are in any given moment. Sometimes it’s about someone trying to hide a certain instinctual behavior, which means the person is trying to manage people’s perception of them. And sometimes it comes down to knowing cultural differences, like how people in Eastern Europe carry flowers vs. how Americans do.

And as for poker? His analysis of what each player was doing at the table at different times was quite fascinating.

“The similitudes of sitting across from a spy or sitting across from players—it’s their reactions to a stimulus. We have behaviors indicative of psychological discomfort that we use at home, at work, or at the poker table,” he says. From head movements to chair shifting to where people place their hands, the players are saying something. Navarro’s advice to watch someone’s body language on double speed to see what movements really stand out was particularly interesting.

As Navarro says, most of our communication is actually non-verbal, so it’s good to know what people are “saying” with their bodies. But as it turns out, it’s not always as simple to figure out people’s body language as we’ve been led to believe.

You can find Joe Navarro’s books on body language here.

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Mom admits the struggle of having a son with a different last name and so many moms feel seen

News reporter Kayla Sullivan was wrapping gifts and addressing Christmas cards to her son’s teachers late one night when she decided to share something with her many followers that was different than her usual content.

She’s become famous for doing “news reports” featuring the lighter side of parenting. “Going live” from her home and various day-to-day destinations using household items as props. But in this particular video, she instead shared about feeling sad and embarrassed about having a different last name than her four-year-old son.

The feelings were prompted by needing to write “Alan’s mom” in parenthesis when signing the cards for his teachers.

“I told myself I’d probably delete the [Instagram] story in the morning and regret getting this vulnerable on social media,” Sullivan told Parents. “Instead, I woke up to so many people with kind things to say or stories that genuinely offered great advice.”


“About three weeks ago, I was crying and was writing Christmas cards to my son’s teachers and feeling really embarrassed because I felt the need to put Allan’s mom in parenthesis because my last name doesn’t match my son’s,” the video begins.

“I was never married to my son’s father, but I did give my son his last name. I don’t regret that… I just got engaged, and I’m going to be taking his last name. His son has his last name, and I don’t want my son to feel like the oddball out, so we will not be putting our last name on Christmas cards. I don’t want rugs or signs that say our last name because I don’t want my son to feel left out,” Sullivan said.

“There are other things that people suggested that I just thought were really beautiful. And I wanted everyone to be part of this conversation, but it was all secretly in my inbox. Other people asked, ‘Can you share the response?’ and this just seemed like the best way to do it. So please comment on this video if you did reach out to me or if you didn’t and you want to say something to make people feel better about this. I know it may sound silly, but a lot of people struggle with not having the same last name as their kid, and it does hurt sometimes, so I just wanted to give people the opportunity to come here and look at these comments and feel less alone because it really helped me. Thank you.”

Sullivan was so moved by the response she made another video to discuss the reaction.

@kaylareporting

TikTok · Kayla Marie Sullivan

While you might think—as some of the commenters did—that kids having different names than their moms is becoming less unusual these days. According to a Pew Research study published in 2023, most women still take their spouse’s last name.

“Most women in opposite-sex marriages (79%) say they took their spouse’s last name when they got married. Another 14% kept their last name, and 5% hyphenated both their name and their spouse’s name,” says the study.

Perhaps for this reason, Sullivan’s follow-up video struck a nerve. It received over seven hundred comments on TikTok, where Sullivan has 1.2 million followers, and almost 2500 comments on Instagram, where she has 681 thousand followers.

“As the kid who never had the last name of her parents or her siblings, the most important feeling is belonging. Being someone’s daughter and sister isn’t about sharing a surname; it’s about feeling part of a family and being loved by those people,” wrote kids_and_the_commute on Instagram.

“Three people in this house. Three last names. It confuses the heck out of people when we travel through the airport, but otherwise, we do like you. Holiday cards say our first names. No door mats with the family name. It all words,” wrote Instagram user mamawildnfree.

“I think the lesson I’ve learned from sharing this feeling is that there is so much good that can come from being honest and not trying to pretend like everything is perfect,” Sullivan told Parents. “It’s okay to be embarrassed and to admit that you are struggling with something even though people will tell you not to or say you shouldn’t be.”