Arguments start to take off when one partner begins to get defensive. So, therapist Lauren Consul shared her relationship-saving tip to “stop an argument in its tracks” when one partner goes into self-preservation mode.
Lauren Consul is a couples and sex therapist who’s developed a following of nearly 160,000 people on TikTok and has received over 5.4 million likes. She is an infidelity expert and hosts retreats to help people “survive and thrive” after one partner has strayed.
“The next time you and your partner are talking, and your partner becomes defensive, I want you to do this: Pause, and say, ‘I want to understand what happened there. What did you hear me say?'” Consul says in her TikTok video with over 42,000 views.
“This question is key because it does one of two things,” she continued. “First, it can allow for clarification. A lot of times when we’ve become defensive, we’ve interpreted something our partner has said incorrectly. We’ve run it through a filter, we’ve told ourselves a story about it, it’s triggered something… So we’re not actually hearing what our partner says, and it allows for clarification.”
“The second thing: If your partner did interpret what you said correctly, it gives you an opportunity to slow things down and understand what is happening for them and address the underlying issue, rather than get caught in a spiral of defensiveness,” she continued.
Consul’s advice for stopping arguments before they explode is helpful because it clears up any potential misunderstandings. The key is to remember the tactic in the heat of the moment to prevent things from getting out of hand.
Traveling with preteens and teens is a breeze in comparison to traveling with little ones but as a parent you still want to sit near your kiddos in case they need you for anything. If you’ve traveled on an airline in the last several years, you know it’s much cheaper to chose the basic seats in the main cabin.
There’s nothing different about these particular seats other than the airline sort of randomly selects your seat and if you’re traveling alone, that’s really not a bad deal. The risk gets to be a little higher if you’re traveling with a party that you’d like to keep together – like your children. One mom took the risk and banked on a stranger accommodating…that’s not quite how it played out.
People sit in the wrong seats on planes all the time, usually because they read their ticket wrong or accidentally sit one row ahead. Takes no time to double check your ticket and move along, but when Tammy Nelson did a double take at her ticket after seeing the mom in her window seat, she realized she wasn’t mistakenly staring at the wrong row.
This mom boarded the plane with her older children and had taken it upon herself to sit in the same row as her children, essentially commandeering a stranger’s seat. Nelson assumed it was a mistake and informed the woman that the seat was in fact hers but the response she received was surprising.
“She said, ‘Oh, you want to sit here?’,” Nelson tells Good Morning America. “She said, ‘Oh, well I just thought I could switch with you because these are my kids.'”
That’s an interesting assumption when seats are assigned and many people, like Nelson, pay extra to have the seat they prefer. Now, there’s no telling if funds were tight and this was an unplanned trip for the mom and kids which caused her to buy the more budget friendly tickets or if she was simply being frugal and was banking on the kindness of a stranger.
Either way, Nelson specifically paid for a window seat due to motion sickness and though she paid extra, she was willing to sit in the other row if that seat was also a window seat. But it turns out, it was a middle seat.
Surely there’s someone out there that loves the middle seat. Maybe a cold natured person that enjoys the body heat of two strangers sitting uncomfortably close. Or perhaps someone that doesn’t mind accidentally sleeping on an unsuspecting passenger’s shoulder. But that person isn’t Nelson, so when the middle seat was offered in exchange for her bought and paid for window seat, she politely but sternly declined.
Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦♀️ ##airplaneseat##seatswitching##airplanekarens
Her refusal to give in to the mom’s seemingly entitled request for Nelson’s seat has resulted in parents and child-fee people cheering her on after she posted the details on her TikTok page, MyCONQUERing. The video has over 3.4 million views.
“Nope. If it’s not an upgrade it’s a sacrifice,” a commenter writes.
“You did the RIGHT thing. Folks need to plan their travel together. Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an inconvenience on yours,” one person says.
“I have 3 kids and have sat in different rows when they were passed toddler age. I agree, book your flight earlier,” another writes.
“You were right. As a woman with 3 children, I always pay extra so we’re sat together,” another mom says.
Nelson is also a mom so she knows how important it is to sit next to kids on flights. But since airlines have made that a luxury, as the parent, you have to plan to pay extra or accept that you likely won’t be seated next to your children. Hopefully in the future, this unnamed mom is seated next to her children or pays extra to make sure it happens. In the meantime, people continue to support Nelson standing her ground.
A TikToker’s story about the grandiose title her mother-in-law chose instead of grandma is an excellent example of the growing trend of baby boomer grandparents rejecting their traditional titles.
A new mother who goes by the name EvieKizmet on the platform shared the story on January 6 and it received nearly 2 million views.
It all started when she and her husband asked her mother-in-law to choose the name she would use as a grandparent. Using a fake name as an example, she said that her mother-in-law chose “Mama Smith” and that didn’t sit well with the mother. “Because realistically, a child is not going to call you by 2 names and it’s going to be shortened to Mama. I’m a mama. Not you,” she said.
Her husband agreed that it was an “insane” idea.
this one was quite the ride and ended so funny, i got the last laugh
this one was quite the ride and ended so funny, i got the last laugh #monsterinlaws #inlawproblems #monsterinlawproblems
They asked the mother-in-law to come up with another name. “So, after a lot of thought and effort, she came back with ‘Queen Mother,’” she said. The mother-in-law rationalized the name, which also works as an aristocratic title, by stating that she may not be a “mother” to the up-and-coming king, but she is a mother to the “reigning king.”
“To be fair, I think she’s watching ‘Bridgerton,’ so that may have played a role,” the TikToker said. The mother then suggested a shorter version, “Queenie.” This wouldn’t fly with the parents-to-be either and eventually, they all agreed on “G-ma.”
The story about the entitled mother-in-law appears to be part of a more significant trend where boomers don’t want to be known as grandmas or grandpas.
“Many baby boomers have a hard time reconciling their vibrant, vital and active selves with the traditional names — they don’t fit their self-image,” Ellen J. Klausner, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in the New York area, told Good Housekeeping. “They think of themselves as organizing and running marathons and associate those traditional monikers with a more sedentary lifestyle — the older relative in a rocking chair — that is not their own.”
To further complicate things, the older generation is now grandparenting in an era where they are more likely to be part of step and blended families and there are a greater number of great-grandparents still around. Dr. Kluasner says that “means that names have to differentiate between the generations and different extended families.”
Paula Span, a New York Times columnist specializing in aging, believes that boomer grandparents have a different approach to names because they don’t think they have much in common with their grandparents.
“A generation of women who entered the labor force, and men who entered the delivery room, isn’t so keen on the old standbys, perhaps,” Span writes. “But here’s my deeper suspicion: However mightily my peers may pine for grandchildren and adore them when they arrive, some don’t want to acknowledge being old enough to be dubbed Grandpop or Granny.”
The younger generations often criticize boomers for being selfish and their inability to understand the challenges that young people face today. But you have to give it to them for being reluctant to admit they’re getting older by taking on the title of grandma or grandpa. Plus, it’s something the younger generations can use to their advantage. “Grandma” or “Grandpa” may be too old and tired to babysit on a Friday night, but “G-ma” and “G-Pa” definitely should be up to watch the kids so you can have a date night.
Grief is such a strong emotion that most people don’t exit this earth having skipped the experience. When grieving the loss of a loved one in the early days, the grief can be so strong that it feels like physical pain. You may start to believe that you’ve cried so much that there must be something medically wrong with you for your body to still be producing tears. There’s no placating cliché about grief that can make the early moments of it more tolerable.
But as people move past the active grieving stage, it contorts itself into something more tolerable that allows you to continue daily obligations before it changes again. Once years pass, grief becomes sort of like a silent passenger holding a jack-in-the-box. You find yourself having full on belly laughs again, feeling quite normal when suddenly out pops that dang clown from the depths of the box.
One man took to his TikTok account, dadchats, to share his experience with a surprise moment of grief for his father that passed away three years prior. It’s the perfect depiction of the realities of grieving a profound loss.
“Last night my dead father called me on his cellphone,” he starts the video. “It’s 9:30 p.m. and I’m watching the Packers vs Taylor Swift game when all of a sudden my phone goes off and for the past five months if I get a call that late at night it’s either about a vehicle warranty or it’s about getting more printer ink.”
The grieving son jokes about not having a printer before explaining how his deceased father called him. Turns out, it wasn’t his father, likely much to is relief and simultaneous disappointment. The call was from his mother who never stopped paying for his father’s phone unbeknownst to the man picking his heart up off of the floor after seeing “dad” pop up on his phone screen. He explains that his mother only ever calls him from her home phone so this call was sort of a jump scare of the worst kind.
The man got emotional talking about the deep yearning you feel when missing a parent who has passed away. He revealed that his dad dying was a fear he had since childhood due to how old his father was when he was born so he stocked up on voicemails to avoid forgetting his dad’s voice. After a few more tear filled moments, the grieving son gives a bit of advice.
“If you’re struggling, especially just out of the blue, that’s ok, that happens. That’s normal, just sit in it. Grieve with it, feel it. It doesn’t go away I don’t think, it certainly hasn’t for me, it still feels as fresh today as it did three years ago.”
Viewers of his heartfelt video flocked to the comments to leave words of encouragement and to detail their own experiences with grief. It was truly a moment of what community can look like online.
“Your[sic] absolutely right that the first thing you forget is the sound of their voice! I so badly wish I could still hear the sound of my mom’s voice,” one person writes.
“Hits home! I called my dad every night for years and kept picking up the phone for months only to remember he won’t answer,” another admits.
“Grief is like glitter. You never know when it’s going to show up, sometimes,” someone relates.
That commenter is right, grief is like glitter. No matter how long ago you handled glitter you’ll still find little sparkly flecks of it every where you go.
I wouldn’t say Jack in the Box is a particularly delicious fast food restaurant. Much like Taco Bell, Jack in the Box serves a very specific function in the fast food universe and nails it. Up late and feel a craving for greasy indulgent deep fried food? Jack in the Box is there. Stoned out of your mind? Jack in the Box is your best friend (and they know it, see Munchie Meals). Need to sober up after a night of drinking with friends? Jack in the Box suddenly tastes better than ever.
But let’s say you’re in one of those scenarios… What are you going to order when you hit up that drive-thru? That’s a harder question than it seems — Jack in the Box’s menu is pretty big. And pretty random.
They’ve got onion rings, egg rolls, cheesecake, all-day breakfast, chicken teriyaki bowls, something called a “Fajita Pita,” tacos… it’s frankly too much f*cking food. So to help make your life easier we’re naming the five absolute best items to order at Jack in the Box. Order any of these five — or all five if you’re feeling especially hungry (stoned) — and we guarantee you’re going to come away from the Jack in the Box drive-thru with a good meal.
The Bacon Double Smashed Jack
Jack in the Box
Why It’s Great:
Let me cut to the chase — the Bacon Double Smashed Jack is by far, Jack in the Box’s best menu item. This burger just dropped this year in a soft launch and it’s already sold out, so if you’re reading this article in January, there is a high chance your local Jack in the Box won’t have it (mine still does, so there’s hope).
But don’t worry! Jack in the Box is currently replenishing its stock of the patty used for the Smashed Jack and as soon as they re-up, we’ll let you know.
Contrary to what the name suggests, this burger isn’t a smashed patty technically (more on that here); it’s smash-inspired. But don’t let that technicality stop you from ordering this thing, it’s delicious.
The meat patties are incredibly juicy and savory, with a caramelized edge, topped with two slices of cheese, caramelized onions, crispy bacon, and a heavy dose of smokey and tangy burger sauce, all sitting atop an airy and buttery brioche bun.
This is one of the few menu options at JiB that you don’t have to be stoned or drunk to fall in love with, it’s that good.
The Bottom Line:
The Bacon Double Smashed Jack has the potential to be your favorite drive-thru burger.
Seasoned Curly Fries
Jack in the Box
Why It’s Great:
A crispy bite with an addicting flavor that balances onion and garlic notes with buttery potato, Jack in the Box has some truly great curly fries. Last year we blind taste-tested seasoned fries and JiB almost took the top spot (barely bested by Popeyes). But that taste test was done completely dry without sauce. Had we dipped these in BBQ, JiB easily would’ve taken the top spot.
Curly Fries are a must-order at Jack in the Box.
The Bottom Line:
If you love crispy flavorful french fries, don’t leave the JiB drive-thru without an order of these.
Tacos
Jack in the Box
Why It’s Great:
Yes, your eyes don’t deceive you, we’re putting those weird greasy Jack in the Box tacos on a list of essential foods and we’re not embarrassed about it. We’ve heard it all before, yes, it’s weird that there is American cheese in a taco, yes, the lettuce is strange, and we know, it’s not beef but some weird soy meat — as much as you think bringing this stuff up to people who love these things is going to change their minds, you’re wrong. We already know, and we’re going to keep ordering these tacos.
They just scratch an itch that few fast food menu items can. There is something satisfying about them, call it a guilty pleasure, call it nostalgia, but this dish just works. They’re greasy, they’re cheap, and they’re satisfying.
You’re probably not going to go to JiB and just order the tacos and call it a day, but it’s a welcome addition to any meal.
The Bottom Line:
The quality of these tacos is questionable, but there is a reason JiB has never removed them from the menu. They’re a hit! If you know, you know.
Sourdough Jack
Jack in the Box
Why It’s Great:
The Sourdough Jack is a bit of a novelty in the fast food space. Its toasted yet chewy bun is unlike anything else from the big burger chains, add to that Swiss cheese (another novelty), bacon, mayo, and ketchup and you have a buttery bomb of savory and smokey flavors in every bite.
If it weren’t for the Smashed Jack this would be JiB’s best burger. It begs the question: why aren’t there more sourdough burgers in the fast food space?
The Bottom Line:
This is the sort of unique dish you can only get at a place like Jack in the Box. The brand should always lean into this energy. Keep JiB weird!
Oreo Shake
Jack in the Box
Why It’s Great:
There was a time when JiB’s Oreo Shake was the ultimate fast-food milkshake. We’re passed those days because of brands like Shake Shack and Chick-fil-A, but we’ll never forget that it was JiB that forced every other brand to step up. In terms of Oreo-flavored shakes, it’s still one of the best.
JiB goes heavy on the Oreos here, ensuring that every sip is peppered with just the right amount of cookie and blended up small enough to travel up the straw without any issue, while still retaining a bit of crunch. The consistency is thick and luxurious, and the flavor combines sweet vanilla with that slightly bitter cocoa flavor that makes Oreos so addicting.
The Bottom Line:
A great Oreo milkshake that dunks on every other fast food restaurant (with a drive-thru). There might be a few ultra-pricey milkshakes out there in the fast-casual space that offer a bit more than this, but you’ll never order one of these and be disappointed.
While speaking to the Associated Press at the Sundance Film Festival (where her new film, Your Monster, premiered), Barrera said, “I finally am becoming who I’m supposed to be in life, and the last few months have been a big awakening of that. I’m just so grateful for everything that’s happened.”
Barrera first commented on her exit from Scream 7 (Jenna Ortega soon joined her, as did director Christopher Landon) on Instagram. “First and foremost I condemn Anti-Semitism and Islamophobia. I condemn hate and prejudice of any kind against any group of people,” she wrote. “As a Latina, a proud Mexicana, I feel the responsibility of having a platform that allows me the privilege of being heard, and therefore I have tried to use it to raise awareness about issues I care about and to lend my voice to those in need.”
She added, “I pray day and night for no more deaths, for no more violence, and for peaceful co-existence. I will continue to speak out for those that need it most and continue to advocate for peace and safety, for human rights and freedom. Silence is not an option for me.”
Before the close of 2023, users online were shocked to see clips of Kanye West embracing Kid Cudi during his Vultures listening party. After nearly a year of publicly professed beef, many thought the Kids See Ghostscollaborators would never reconnect. However, a sibling-like spat couldn’t end their decades-long friendship for good.
While promoting his latest album, Insano, Kid Cudi opened up to Apple Music’s Zane Lowe about how he was able to mend his relationship with Ye.
“The reason why we became cool again is because he apologized to me, and it was sincere,” he said. “I was just like, wow, ‘Kanye does not apologize to anybody and say sorry to anyone.’ And that’s my brother, man.”
Cudi doesn’t place blame on either party for the rocky fallout. Instead, he wants to learn from it and move forward.
“He’s learning, and he’s growing,” he said. “[Kanye] knows he made some mistakes and I think that that’s the beauty of it, is this is a beautiful thing. It’s like he knows he’s been on one hell of a ride, and he knows he’s said some things that he might not be able to come back from in a lot of realms, in a lot of spaces from certain people. But we grow, and I think I pray for him, and that’s my brother.”
Watch the full interview above.
Kid Cudi’s Insano is out now via Republic Records. Find more information here.
The relationship between Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard has been, to put it charitably, frosty. For years, there’s always seemed to be bad blood between the two, as Howard (like Shaq) got drafted No. 1 overall to the Orlando Magic and had the nickname “Superman.” Even as recently as last year, Shaq got jokes off at Howard’s expense over the fact that he kept his basketball career going by playing in Taiwan’s top league on a team that had a losing record.
As it turns out, Shaq claims he didn’t always view Howard in a negative light. The Hall of Fame inductee appeared on Trae Young’s podcast and explained that, early on, he rode Howard because he “used to love” him.
“If I mention your name, it means I love you and respect you,” Shaq said. “Like, I used to love Dwight. He did something I couldn’t do. I wish I could jump that high. I love Dwight Howard — a lot of people don’t know that this is my first time saying that. But as a big brother, I ain’t gonna let my little brother slide. Cause I want you to be better than me. A lot of people don’t understand this thing of ours, they think it’s just hate. No, it ain’t hate, I’m telling you how to get here.
“You know I’m here, dawg, I’m telling you how to get here,” he continued. “If you don’t want to get here … and that’s why I kinda had to lay off of him a little bit.”
Shaq’s comments come on the heels of Howard saying the he believes he should have been the first player in Magic history to get their number retired.
Sofía Vergara’s first dramatic role is a doozy. She portrays Griselda “Cocaine Godmother” Blanco in Netflix’s Griselda, which hails from the Narcos and Narcos: Mexico guys. Granted, her new Netflix series is not directly related to the older ones, but rumor has it that Pablo Escobar was slightly terrified of Griselda (the show references this, too), so that’s promising for anyone curious about whether to give Griselda a whirl.
The Emmy-nominated Modern Family actress went the transformative extra mile for the role, which was a passion project. And no, the on-set cocaine wasn’t real, but she sure learned a lot from the experience of portraying the woman who pioneered Miami’s drug trade in the late 1970s and 1980s.
Less than a week away from the show’s release date, however, Griselda might be seeing a wrinkle in the form of a lawsuit. Griselda Blanca’s real-life youngest son, the very non-subtly-named Michael Corleone Blanco, is suing on behalf of his mother’s estate. TMZ broke the news about how he was involved in developing a project based upon his life story. The facts of the case appear to be complicated and require plenty of parsing, but Michael claims that some of his anecdotes have surfaced in the series (possibly with some of the same people involved that he spoke with, although that’s not clear), and no one has paid him. As a result, he’s seeking to push pause on the show’s release:
The gist of their argument boils down to this … Griselda’s son, Michael, claims he’d been doing interviews for years now with some guys who were trying to get his life story — and that of his mother — on paper in the hopes of developing it into a production of some sort. He alleges these interviews he did with them date back to ’09 all the way through 2022.
Michael claims that these fellas he was consulting with not only wanted to develop his narrative into a show, but into a book as well — and he says they told him they’d start shopping it around Hollywood in 2016. He alleges they pitched it to a producer … ahead of a meeting with Netflix about it. Michael claims he was then told Netflix was interested — but that they didn’t wanna use any of his details or consultations from the interviews he’d done.
The lawsuit also rests upon claims that the series makes “unauthorized use of their family’s image and likeness in this upcoming series,” although Griselda as a subject is not off limits, considering that she is a public figure. Given that Michael alleges that his own anecdotes appear in the show, we’ll simply have to see how this story develops in the next week.
In the meantime, Griselda is still scheduled to stream on January 25.
For decades, Snoop Dogg was been one of the most recognizable figures in pop culture, with a distinct look, charm, and set of talents that has expanded his mainstream appeal well beyond his hip-hop origins. Despite how ubiquitous he’s been for years, though, there are still those who might mistake a poser for him. Such a story happened recently.
Earlier this week, a video that eventually went viral started making the rounds online. In it, a man, who does admittedly bear at least a passing resemblance to Snoop, poses for a photo on a plane with a flight attendant, who was excited to get to meet the rapper she thought she was standing next to. The Snoop dupe opted to not correct the person and instead rolled with the misunderstanding, producing what everybody involved is hopefully looking back on now as a fun moment.
Snoop himself is enjoying the situation, at least. He caught wind of the video and gave it his stamp of approval yesterday (January 18), by sharing it on his Instagram account with a couple of laughing emojis and a shrugging emoji.
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