If you’ve never heard of the Cat Distribution System, then you probably don’t own a cat, or you do, but you acquired your cat in a normal, non-weird way. You know, like at an animal shelter or from some nice lady on social media who had a box of kittens. Some people do get cats that way, and it’s one thousand percent a valid way to attain cat parent status.
But some lucky folks get cats through the Cat Distribution System (or CDS for short). Is this system real? The only people who know this are cats. They’re also the ones that run the system, so the rules and the way in which you attain your purr machine may be a bit wonky. You may wake up with an unknown cat in your bed even though all of your windows are closed, or you just may be like this delivery driver.
The driver was out picking up orders when a cat came out of the CDS and jumped on the man’s leg as he attempted to get back to his car. Thanks to his dash cam, you get to see CDS at work, and so did his mom. The video currently has over 2.8 million views on TikTok.
When the driver asked his mom if he could keep the cat, at first she said no. Then she saw the footage of the cat aggressively and desperately choosing her son to be its new cat dad—and that’s how you get a cat through the CDS. Once the cat realized she made the right choice, she snuggled up on her dad’s lap as he drove her home.
“We are not cat people,” reads the text overlay. “My youngest son was out making deliveries last night. A cat kept following him. Then jumped on his leg and would not let go.”
I have news for you, Mom, you’re cat people now. It’s how the Cat Distribution System works. They train their recruits to turn non-cat people into cat people, one unsuspecting human at a time. If you don’t make it to the end of the video, yes, they kept the cat and her name is Venus. That’s how the system is designed.
Watch the CDS at work below:
@dretontheborder #catrescue #catrescueroftiktok I am not a #catperson but maybe now I will be after today. I #Love my #son has a #huge #compassionate #heart #momsoftiktok #rescate #gato
This article originally appeared on 4.12.23