Who do Republican voters want for president in 2024? A prolifically indicted mush-brained wannabe-dictator who has no money. On Monday, Donald Trump’s lawyers had to admit that despite his boasts of exhaustive wealth, their client can’t cover a measly $464 bond over his New York civil fraud case. The news comes amidst reports of Trump being broke — so broke he can’t afford to hold his beloved rallies; so broke he allegedly doesn’t own any of his properties, which are instead leveraged. Now even his biggest cheerleaders are outright begging those who actually have money bins to bail the poor rich guy out.
Why are there no Republican multi-billionaires offering to lend President Trump the funds to file his appeal in the outrageous case in NY state? Are none of them liquid enough to help or join with others to help? This is an outrage.
— Mark R. Levin (@marklevinshow) March 18, 2024
“Why are there no Republican multi-billionaires offering to lend President Trump the funds to file his appeal in the outrageous case in NY state?” railed Mark Levin, Trump sycophant and Fox News’ most gratuitously humorless host. “Are none of them liquid enough to help or join with others to help? This is an outrage.”
To recap: Trump’s most famous superfans have been forced to admit someone who’s built his reputation on being a smart and rich businessman can’t even afford to fork over half a million bucks. If Trump was as wealthy as he claimed, his many, many legal fees wouldn’t be a problem.
And yet they are a problem and Trump needs help — and he isn’t getting it, even after begging the likes of Elon Musk for cash. So, back to Levin’s point, why aren’t the world’s richest Republicans bailing him out? Some people had theories.
Maybe because Trump is a terrible credit risk who someday soon will probably spend the rest of his life in prison? https://t.co/quUcqX6gzk
— George Conway (@gtconway3d) March 18, 2024
“Maybe because Trump is a terrible credit risk who someday soon will probably spend the rest of his life in prison?” wrote George Conway.
Some pointed out that billionaires don’t like flushing money down the drain.
Why are there no Republican billionaires willing to flush money down the toilet? The world may never know. https://t.co/3roP8QZWf4
— Eric Kohn
(@iEricKohn) March 19, 2024
Why are there no Republican multi-billionaires offering to light a fat stack of $100 bills under the wet log in my fireplace https://t.co/0BaRZiXONy
— Bill Grueskin (@BGrueskin) March 19, 2024
Because he doesn’t pay his debts. https://t.co/FHjXHjEscE
— Sarah Longwell (@SarahLongwell25) March 19, 2024
But Jon Favreau — the speechwriter and pundit, not the director of Cowboys & Aliens — pointed out that it would actually benefit the wealthy to give him money: “It is rather surprising there aren’t any billionaires willing to bail out poor old Donald Trump, especially since he’s promised to repay them with another gigantic tax cut funded by the rest of us.”
It is rather surprising there aren’t any billionaires willing to bail out poor old Donald Trump, especially since he’s promised to repay them with another gigantic tax cut funded by the rest of us https://t.co/X1HHWw7O6M
— Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) March 19, 2024
There’s a darker side to this: Trump could be so desperate for cash that he’s become a national security risk thanks to all those classified documents he took, which he could now sell to the highest bidder. Even worse, if Trump did do that, it probably still wouldn’t affect his polling.