Month: April 2024

Grieving in the technology age is uncharted territory.

I’ll take you back to Saturday, June 9, 2012. At 8:20 a.m., my 36-year-old husband was pronounced dead at a hospital just outside Washington, D.C.

By 9:20 a.m., my cellphone would not stop ringing or text-alerting me long enough for me to make the necessary calls that I needed to make: people like immediate family, primary-care doctors to discuss death certificates and autopsies, funeral homes to discuss picking him up, and so on. Real things, important things, time-sensitive, urgent things.

At 9:47 a.m., while speaking to a police officer (because yes, when your spouse dies, you must be questioned by the police immediately), one call did make it through. I didn’t recognize the number. But in those moments, I knew I should break my normal rule and answer all calls. “He’s dead??? Oh my God. Who’s with you? Are you OK? Why am I reading this on Facebook? Taya, what the heck is going on?”

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Facebook? I was confused. I hadn’t been on Facebook since the day before, so I certainly hadn’t taken the time in the last 90 minutes to peek at the site.

“I’ll call you back”, I screamed and hung up. I called my best friend and asked her to search for anything someone might have written and to contact them immediately and demand they delete it. I still hadn’t spoken to his best friend, or his godsister, or our godchild’s parents, or a million other people! Why would someone post it to Facebook SO FAST?

While I can in no way speak for the entire planet, I certainly feel qualified to propose some suggestions — or, dare I say, rules — for social media grieving.

How many RIPs have you seen floating through your social media stream over the last month? Probably a few. Death is a fate that we will each meet at some point. The Information Age has changed the ways in which we live and communicate daily, yet there are still large voids in universally accepted norms.

This next statement is something that is impossible to understand unless you’ve been through it:

There is a hierarchy of grief.

Yes, a hierarchy. It’s something people either don’t understand or understand but don’t want to think or talk about — yet we must.

There is a hierarchy of grief.

Hierarchy is defined as:

1. a system or organization in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority, and
2. an arrangement or classification of things according to relative importance or inclusiveness.

What does this mean as it relates to grief? Let me explain. When someone dies — whether suddenly or after a prolonged illness, via natural causes or an unnatural fate, a young person in their prime or an elderly person with more memories behind them than ahead — there is one universal truth : The ripples of people who are affected is vast and, at times, largely unknown to all other parties.

A death is always a gut punch with varying degrees of force and a reminder of our own mortality. Most people are moved to express their love for the deceased by showing their support to the family and friends left behind.

In the days before social media, these expressions came in the form of phone calls, voicemail messages, and floral deliveries.

If you were lucky enough to be in close proximity to the family of the newly deceased, there were visits that came wrapped with hugs and tears, and deliveries of food and beverages to feed all the weary souls.

Insert social media. All of those courtesies still occur, but there is a new layer of grief expression — the online tribute in the form of Facebook posts, Instagram photo collages, and short tweets.

What’s the problem with that? Shouldn’t people be allowed to express their love, care, concern, support, and prayers for the soul of the recently deceased and for their family?

Yes.

And no.

Why? Because there are no established “rules,” and people have adopted their own. This isn’t breaking news, and you’re not trying to scoop TMZ. Listen, I know you’re hurt. Guess what? Me too. I know you’re shocked. Guess what? Me too. Your social media is an extension of who you are. I get it. You “need” to express your pain, acknowledge your relationship with the deceased, and pray for the family.

Yes.

However…

Please give us a minute.

We are shocked.

We are heartbroken.

Give the immediate family or circle a little time to handle the immediate and time-sensitive “business” related to death. In the minutes and early hours after someone passes away, social media is most likely the last thing on their minds. And even if it does cross their mind, my earlier statement comes into play here.

There is a hierarchy of grief.

Please pause and consider your role and relationship to the newly deceased. Remember, hierarchy refers to your status and your relative importance to the deceased. I caution you to wait and then wait a little longer before posting anything. This may seem trivial, silly, and not worth talking about, but I promise you it isn’t.

If the person is married, let the spouse post first.

If the person is “young” and single, let the partner, parents, or siblings post first.

If the person is “old” and single, let the children post first.

If you can’t identify the family/inner circle of the person, you probably shouldn’t be posting at all.

Do you get where I’m going with this?

In theory, we should never compare grief levels, cast the grief-stricken survivors into roles, or use words like status and importance. But maybe we need to at this moment (and for the next few weeks and months).

The “RIP” posts started hitting my timeline about an hour after my husband’s death, and I certainly didn’t start them. This created a sense of confusion, fear, anxiety, panic, dread, and shock for the people who knew me, too. What’s wrong? Who are we praying for? Did something happen? Did someone pass? Why are there RIPs on your wall and I can’t reach you? Call me please! What’s going on?

That’s a small sample of messages on my voicemail and text inbox. I had to take a minute in the midst of it all to ask a friend to post a status to my Facebook page on my behalf.

Your love and expressions of support are appreciated and needed, but they can also be ill-timed and create unintended additional stress.

The person is no less dead and your sympathy no less heartfelt if your post, photo, or tweet is delayed by a few hours. Honestly, the first couple of hours are shocking, and many things are a blur. Most bereaved people will be able to truly appreciate your love, concern, prayers, and gestures after the first 24 hours.

I’ve learned this from the inside — twice within the last four years. And I assure you that if we each adopted a little patience and restraint in this area, we would help those who are in the darkest hours of their lives by not adding an unnecessary layer of stress.

A few extra hours could make all the difference.

This article originally appeared on 05.07.19

The NBA has quickly gone into a full embrace with the gambling world now that sports betting has been legalized in most of the United States, but while the business side is happy to partner with sportsbooks, the same rules exist for players when it comes to betting.

Any gambling on the NBA is completely off limits, and that is doubly the case when it involves the team you are playing on or your personal prop bets. Up until recently, the NBA had avoided the kinds of gambling controversies and suspensions that the NFL has dealt with in the past few years, but at the end of March a rather large betting scandal arrived at the NBA’s doorstep. The league is investigating allegations that Raptors big man Jontay Porter was knowingly involved in big hits from bettors on betting the under on his props in two games in January and March.

The red flags were raised by league-partner DraftKings, which noted Porter’s props on those nights were unusually the most-bet props of the night, with some accounts trying to bet five-figure sums on Porter’s unders. The insinuation has been that Porter was tipping off bettors to the fact that he wouldn’t play much in those games, which is, of course, a major no-no.

On Wednesday, Adam Silver addressed that investigation and said that, while it’s still ongoing, what Porter is accused of is a “cardinal sin” in the NBA and if they find he was involved, banishment from the league would be on the table.

That isn’t a major surprise as that has long been the response of league’s to players betting on their own teams, but it’s clear Silver wants to make sure the message is heard by everyone, including other players. To a league, betting on games you’re involved in is the worst thing you can do because it brings into question the integrity of the sport itself, which in turn craters trust with fans and makes the sport far less desirable to watch. We will have to wait to find out if the league can find proof Porter was, in fact, involved, but if so, it’s fair to assume Michael Porter Jr. will quickly become the only Porter brother left in the NBA.

Calvin LeBrun, better known as Mister Cee or DJ Mister Cee, a high-profile personality for New York radio station Hot97, has reportedly died at the age of 57, according to multiple New York hip-hop personalities including MC Lyte and former colleague Peter Rosenberg.

Cee rose to fame in the pioneering Golden Era of the late ’80s when he worked alongside Brooklyn rapper Big Daddy Kane on his groundbreaking debut album, Long Live The Kane. Cee was also widely credited with being one of the first supporters of The Notorious B.I.G., promoting Biggie’s 1991 demo tape; his support is credited for The Source giving Big early publicity via its “Unsigned Hype” column, which led to Sean “Diddy” Combs hearing the tape and signing Biggie to Uptown, then to the newly formed Bad Boy Records.

Cee became the focal point for a heated debate about sexuality in hip-hop when he was arrested for picking up prostitutes in 2011 — either drag queens or trans women (it’s a little unclear, as coverage back then was less… “enlightened”) — and the controversy sparked widespread discussion across the hip-hop blogosphere. In May 2013, he went on-air to deny being gay but admit to enjoying “fellatio with a transsexual: a man that looks like a woman.” Again, the language of the time was a lot less precise and discussion was a bit rougher — although not by much (see: J. Cole’s “Pi” verse).

Although no cause of death for Mister Cee has been reported, social media is already alight with respectful homages and well-wishes for his family, friends, and former co-workers at Hot97. He’s got a legacy set in stone, and he will be missed.

Spike Lee and Denzel Washington‘s first four movies together are: Mo’ Better Blues, Malcolm X, He Got Game, and Inside Man. Pretty good track record! They will soon start working on their fifth collaboration with help from one of the most in-demand rappers out there: Ice Spice.

Variety reports that Ice Spice has joined the cast of High and Low, Lee’s English-language reinterpretation of the Akira Kurosawa’s 1963 crime thriller of the same name. This will be the “Munch (Feelin’ U)” rapper’s acting debut, unless you count her recent appearance on Hot Ones, which you should. She suffered for her art.

“I didn’t ever really like see myself being a rapper,” Spice said on Hot97’s Ebro in the Morning in 2023. “I always wanted to be an actress. That was like, my first passion.”

Apple Original Films, which partnered with A24 on the “Spike Lee joint,” shared a photo of the filmmaker and Washington on X to announce that production has begun on the project. “No. 5 now in production,” it reads.

Lee’s High and Low does not currently have a release date, but it will be released theatrically by A24 before a global launch on AppleTV+. You can watch the original film on Max.

Mass extinction is just the beginning for Amazon Prime Video’s latest streaming entry, Fallout. It’s here, at the beginning of this largely spoiler-free review, that we’re obligated to explain the darkly funny, post-apocalyptic satire’s video game origins even though knowledge of said origins is absolutely not a prerequisite for enjoyment.

Yes, Fallout is an adaptation of Bethesda’s behemoth franchise, a story set within the retro-futuristic world that’s captivated console users for years and years. Yes, there are delightful little nods to in-game storylines – Pip-Boys and Nuka-Cola and Radaway, but they either serve a larger purpose or don’t linger for too long, ensuring that the show, produced by Westworld creators Lisa Joy and Jonathan Nolan, stands on its own two feet. Long-time gamers should have little to gripe about while those craving better genre fare amidst the streaming glut should come away satisfied. Whether you know its history or not, Fallout is a fucking blast of a sci-fi show that defies expectations in the most unconventional of ways.

Its quick time jump establishes the setting of this garish, goofy tale. Hundreds of years after nuclear war laid waste to much of the world, survivors exist on a blighted stretch of the California coast known, naturally, as the Wasteland. To replicate some of the freedom offered by the RPG source material, Fallout introduces three protagonists pretty early on. Lucy (Ella Purnell) is a Vault-dweller, a naïve-yet-ambitious young woman sheltered in an underground ecosystem reserved for the privileged few. Her 1950s Americana cliche-riddled peachy-keen existence is admittedly strange – when sparsely-populated survival communes are so close-knit, fooling around with your cousin is all hunky dory, as is blindly marrying a stranger from the next vault over. When tragedy strikes, Lucy decides to brave the radioactive wilds topside on a rescue mission that puts her on a collision course with some strange characters.

Enter, the Ghoul. A barely-recognizable Walton Goggins sans schnoz, the Ghoul is a mutated gunslinger, revived and experimented on over the centuries by anonymous caretakers whose goal – we can only guess – was to create the most disfigured Clint Eastwood stand-in the television world has ever seen. A gruff badass of few words, the Ghoul is fueled by a backstory filled with a lot of pain and loss. Hurt people hurt people, right? Like Lucy, he’s on a reconnaissance mission that’ll eventually force the pair to form a sort of alliance that’s codified in a stand-out 4th episode.

Lucy and the Ghoul are interrupted at multiple turns by Maximus (Aaron Mohen), a surface-dweller who belongs to an ultra-militaristic sect known as the Brotherhood of Steel. Boasting armor-powered knights and a mission statement that seems to center on preserving relics of the past, he lies, cheats, and steals his way to a promotion he doesn’t deserve. The only way to keep it? Return the same world-changing artifact both the Ghoul and Lucy are searching for.

It feels trite to say that Fallout is, at its heart, a character study. What recent video game adaption, from Paramount+’s Halo to HBO’s The Last of Us, doesn’t claim the same? But even amongst the more surreal moments, from Matt Berry dubbing an organ-harvesting robot to exploding heads and slo-mo massacres set to Johnny Cash tunes, it’s the motivations of the main trio that translate as the show’s most interesting element. Lucy’s slow descent into cynicism bulldozes the foundational “Golden Rule” most societies are built on. The Ghoul’s tragic past is used as more than just character exposition for why he’s so hardened in the present – and why Lucy’s continued presence in his quest is both troubling and transformative for him. And Mohen’s Maximus is a walking contradiction – cowardly yet boasting moral conviction, incompetent but oddly adaptable, meek yet opportunistic. He’s fascinating and frustrating in equal measure, and, along with Purnell, he does most of the comedic lifting in the first half of the series.

What’s most addictive about Fallout is how it spins its many yarns, threading them together long after you’ve written off a particular storyline or character. Goggins’ Cooper Howard – a pretend cowboy for hire in those pre-war days who lived an idyllic life on movie sets – pops up unexpectedly later in the season as the show gifts entire episodes that answer lingering questions about Vault-tech and its real mission statement. The bunch of brainless sardines living in a tin can beneath the surface aren’t just twiddling their thumbs. Even an early-established antagonist to Mohen’s Maximus, a B-character who could’ve easily dropped off after episode one is given a worthwhile arc that challenges the boy he once bullied. Fallout never loses the forest for the trees, but that doesn’t mean lingering on them is a waste of time. Despite what the Ghoul says, getting “sidetracked by bullshit” is half the fun here.

Ultimately, Fallout is a fascinating blend of aesthetics – an Atompunk adventure that marries Rockwellian sensibilities with eerily immediate dilemmas. A story of haves and have-nots, it manages to tread new ground within a genre that’s been covered almost too extensively thus far, mining comedy from its most mundane horror elements. (Don’t be surprised when a hacksaw beheading and a hazing gone monstrously wrong tease out a laugh or two.) To call it weird would be an understatement, one that doesn’t do justice to how bizarrely fun binge-watching it is. Finally, TV has given us a post-apocalypse that doesn’t take itself so fucking seriously.

All eight episodes of Fallout stream on Amazon Prime Video on April 9th.

Just a little over a year ago, when Taylor Swift launched her Eras Tour in Phoenix, Arizona, a very familiar analog was thrown around for obvious reasons. The sheer physical magnitude of her performance, stretching beyond three hours of seamless entertaining, evoked a name that’s become synonymous with marathon sets and crowd-pleasing live mythology. That name, of course, is Bruce Springsteen.

Sure, the comparison is relatively flimsy and speaks mostly to the career-spanning endurance of the performances. Swift’s concerts are a bit more set-in-stone, with her nightly acoustic set providing moments to dig deep into her catalog and surprise. Swift is more focused on choreography and spectacle. Swift lets the songs become the star of the show, with each performance space becoming a safe haven for unabashed superfandom.

On Sunday night at the second of his two sold-out nights at Los Angeles’ Forum, Springsteen underscored why his name has become interchangeable with “impressive, physically demanding live performances.” The New Jersey legend is 74 years old and is still stretching his appearances well beyond the three-hour mark on a nightly basis. And while some of his classic-rock brethren play similarly epic sets, none do so with Springsteen’s force, often letting backing vocalists and bloated bands carry the songs to their familiar heights. That’s less a knock on the performing abilities of folks past the typical retirement age and more a comment on how Springsteen’s vigor defies reason.

And though some might point to Springsteen’s complete backing choir and sprawling E-Street players as evidence to the contrary, the majesty of a Springsteen show is in the interplay between the two. The E-Street Band is never tasked with masking the shortcomings of its central figure. No, they simply take his power and strap a rocket to the back of it. During the main set’s closing of “Thunder Road,” a song that’s as perfect as any ever written, the band largely slowed down and let Bruce take the song as his own leisure. But once he’d reached its iconic crescendo, the horn section made their way to the front of the stage, with first Jake Clemmons leading the charge, only to be accompanied by his four other brassed compatriots, blasting the closing notes through the venue’s roof.

And moments like this were commonplace. It’s hard to imagine “Glory Days” live without Little Steven’s playful exchanges with The Boss, or a night without Max Weinberg providing a “shot” from his snare or Nils Lofgren spinning circles like a madman while dropping a guitar solo. The “couple” songs that Springsteen’s wife Patti Scialfa sings with her husband — including a version of “Tougher Than The Rest” where their mouths are as close as they can be without touching — were about as sexy as two Boomers are legally allowed to be. And a guest appearance from Rage Against The Machine’s Tom Morello for a pair of appropriate tunes, “American Skin (41 Shots)” and “The Ghost Of Tom Joad,” found the hard-rocking guitarist showcasing all his axe-wielding tricks to the audience’s delight.

This all serves to highlight the elements of a Bruce Springsteen concert that are beyond compare. For all the things that a massive pop concert can provide, rarely is it impressive because of musicianship. And where some might use confetti cannons or fireworks to give the crowd a visceral jolt, Bruce Springsteen is a living reminder that there are other ways to achieve similar results, and they only require a guitar or a drum set or a saxophone. Or, in the case of Bruce himself, the personal introspection and clarity he provides when using the space between songs to illuminate his own story and reflect on his personal journey.

The “Bruce Springsteen tells a story while introducing a song” archetype has been a meme since before memes were a thing. But still, when The Boss uses the intro of a tune to reflect on grief, on love, on friendship, or on his beloved rock and roll, thousands of people still shut up and listen. It’s a superpower to be so innately poetic without resorting explicitly to poetry and provides balance to the emotional catharsis of shouting his anthems back to him. So while Springsteen might not have backing dancers or lasers or excessive visuals, he still remains the gold standard for live music. It’s the kind of set that makes sense regardless of fandom, where the value is inherent. It might not be what the future of live music on the biggest scale looks like, but career artists would benefit from looking at how far passion and craftsmanship can take you.

Check out an exclusive gallery of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at the Forum in Los Angeles below.

As AEW builds toward its Dynasty pay-per-view in St. Louis on April 21, the promotion is using the behind-the-scenes events at All In from Wembley Stadium last year to move the rivalry forward between the Young Bucks and FTR.

Speaking to Uproxx Sports ahead of Wednesday’s episode of Dynamite, AEW CEO Tony Khan says it’s important for the Young Bucks to explain why this footage is relevant.

“It’ll be a must-see segment when the Young Bucks play this footage and talk about what happened at Wembley Stadium and how it relates to what’s coming up next for the Young Bucks in AEW,” Khan says. “I think that it will create a lot of interest in what this is all about. And I think the Young Bucks will have an explanation for why they think this is important and why it’s relevant to what’s going on at AEW Dynasty on pay-per-view.”

The release of this footage comes one week after CM Punk shared his side of the story on Ariel Helwani’s MMA Hour, offering details about his backstage scuffle with Jack Perry following his infamous “cry me a river” comment. When asked on his reaction to Punk speaking out and if that impacted the release of this footage, Khan says, “That was interesting timing given where everything stands.”

“For us, this is a decision based on the timing of our upcoming pay-per-view, AEW Dynasty, and given where the Young Bucks stand going into the World Tag Team Championship Tournament finals at AEW Dynasty,” he says. “This was the right time and place for them to play this footage and talk about why it’s relevant to them and AEW going forward and what this means going into AEW Dynasty.”

The Bucks and FTR’s showdown will be their fourth under the AEW umbrella, and Khan expects another spectacle. He expressed his belief that their previous three matches — at Full Gear 2020, on an episode of Dynamite in 2022, and their All In showdown last year — were each “a classic.”

“All three Young Bucks-FTR matches are phenomenal bouts and classic displays of great tag team wrestling,” he says. “It’s another great match at AEW Dynasty and the rivalry has changed. I think there’s always been a lot of interest in Young Bucks versus FTR as two of the greatest tag teams of all time and very different teams with very different approaches. I expect the rivalry will keep up, and it should be a very exciting Tag Team Championship Tournament final at AEW Dynasty.”

The rest of the Dynasty event is shaping up to be a standout card, with Thunder Rosa earning a return AEW Women’s Championship match against “Timeless” Toni Storm, Swerve Strickland squaring off one-on-one with Samoa Joe for the AEW World Heavyweight title, and Bryan Danielson matching Will Ospreay in what’s expected to be a match of the year contender.

We are just a month out from Dehd‘s upcoming fifth studio album, Poetry. Ahead of the album, the Chicago band has shared their new single, “Alien.” On the glimmering, guitar-driven track, the members sing of feeling outcast, but keep open hearts for people who are of the same kind of weirdness as them.

“I’m like a lighthouse / Bright and casting out / Light across the waves / Somewhere someday someone’s just for me,” sings vocalist Emily Kempf on the song’s chorus.

When speaking of the song, Kempf said she tapped into her mystical power, and found that the biggest rewards come from within.

“This is about me being otherworldly, an artist of light, an angel, an alien or maybe some sort of faerie creature and wanting to find someone like me in this world, someone of my kind,” Kempf said in a statement. “Longing for this special person that’s as special as me to come around for me to love, but instead always coming to the same conclusion that I am fated to be a sort of loner hermit person with 1000 friends and that loving myself is the most important and rewarding thing I can consistently work on and do forever.”

Check out “Alien” above.

Poetry is out 5/10 via Fat Possum. Find more information here.

In a literal sense, we know how Travis Kelce managed to impress Taylor Swift to the point where they eventually started dating: It started when he attempted to give her a friendship bracelet with his phone number on it, and the two later met and hit it off.

Conceptually, though, Kelce himself still isn’t quite sure how he made it happen.

Travis and his brother Jason Kelce were joined by guest Lil Dicky/Dave Burd on the April 10 episode of their New Heights podcast, and Dicky commented on the storybook-like nature of the relationship. He said, “The world is kind of like high school, where your most popular pop star, beloved musician somehow met your most popular, beloved athlete, and they actually fell in love, and it’s just real, and… I don’t know. Anyone who hates on it is, like, a bitter loser. But I think a lot of people who would maybe expect to hate on it actually love it, and they acknowledge they love it because there’s something so… American about it or something. I hate to say ‘American,’ but there’s something just classic about it.

Kelce responded with a laugh, “I don’t know how I did it because she does not… she wasn’t into sports, so I don’t know how the f*ck I did it.”

Check out the clip below.