A Lawton, Oklahoma, student who goes by the Facebook user name Rose Lynn had the last laugh after being sent home from school for wearing an outfit deemed “distracting.” Rose Lynn believes her outfit attracted the attention of school officials because of her figure.
She proved it by posting a photo on Facebook of her modest outfit, which consisted of black leggings, a t-shirt, long cardigan, and boots. In her post, she wrote that she was sent home “because I’m developed farther than the average girl my age,” and because she’s a “CURVY woman.” Rose Lynn also thinks the appropriate response shouldn’t have been to tell her to cover up, but to teach boys to “to respect the boundaries of young ladies.”
Her father, Lance Miles, agrees with her. “If she was built like a board or as round as a ball she wouldn’t have been sent home but [since] she has a figure she was told she had to change,” he said in the comments of her Facebook post.
“This is 100 percent on [Lawton Public Schools] because they have left the rule up to interpretation. She has been taught that if you believe in something, do what you must and be prepared for the consequences. She has done that,” he continued.
Rose Lynn’s post:
“So today I was sent home from class, after being in school for two hours, for my outfit. Because I’m developed farther than the average girl my age, I am required to go home and change… Because I look like a CURVY woman and may distract young boys, I have to miss class and change my outfit.
So once again, society has failed to advocate young ladies, by confining them in a box, where they are stripped from their sense of self respect and self expression, rather than teaching young men to respect the boundaries of young ladies. My response: #Feminism #YoullDistractTheBoys #SocietyIsFailing”
On the day Rose Lynn was sent home, she was due to take a 20-minute algebra exam. She asked school officials if she could take the test before changing her outfit, but her request was denied. So the next day, she got her revenge.
Rose Lynn returned to school wearing an oversize t-shirt. On the front she scribbled a quote from school officials in black Sharpie, “It doesn’t cover your crotch”; on the back, “You’ll distract the boys.” That day, Rose Lynn was called to the office and sent home again. This time it wasn’t for her outfit but for not wearing her student I.D., which she had left in the classroom after being called to the office.
The New Jersey Devils and the New York Rangers really do not like one another, as the two teams have one of the NHL’s most hotly-contested rivalry. On Wednesday night, we got our latest reminder of this, as the puck dropped for their game at Madison Square Garden and a brawl involving every player on the ice broke out.
The backstory: Each of the last two games, Rangers forward Matt Rempe has hurt a different Devils player with a hit that ended up getting penalized. After the first one, Devils enforcer Kurtis MacDermid tried to bait him into a fight, which Rempe did not take. But on Wednesday, Rempe and MacDermid were both on the starting lines, and after the puck dropped, they got into it. The catch, though, was that the other eight players on the ice decided to join in, and a gigantic brawl broke out.
In the aftermath of the fight, eight players got kicked out of the game, including MacDermid and Rempe. The two who got to stick around, Jimmy Vesey and Curtis Lazar, got to remain in the game after lengthy stints in the penalty box because the referees determined that they dropped the gloves first.
Lazar + Vesey ruled as the first fight. Eight other players just got ejected for secondary altercation.
In mid-March, Varietyreported Lopez’s mysterious cancelation of seven This Is Me…Now The Tourdates and noted, “While the tour is still scheduled for a robust 30 shows, large numbers of tickets at most of the tour’s dates remain unsold.” On Wednesday, April 3, Lopez casually revealed an updated tour title, This Is Me…Live The Greatest Hits, with an Instagram Reel. Varietypointed out that this repackaging is likely a play to “apparently broaden its scope” after the reported low ticket sales after her original tour announcement in February.
However, to be fair, Peoplereported that the cancelations were due to “a logistical issue through the tour’s promoter.” Lopez did not acknowledge ticket sales whatsoever in her new announcement. Instead, she leaned heavily on nostalgia, which is always smart if you’re Jennifer Lopez.
This Is Me…Now debuted at No. 38 on the Billboard 200 after its February 16 release.
See Lopez’s post and transcribed narration below, and find more This Is Me…Live The Greatest Hits information here.
“Look at this girl. Fly, little bright-eyed Puerto Rican girl dancing her heart out. If she only knew then, she’d be going on the most unforgettable tour of a lifetime. I remember early on witnessing greatness, moments just like this one, and seeing the joy she had. Who knew that this girl right here — singing for my family, performing around my city, and following my passion would take me places I could never have imagined?
But nothing really prepares you for what it means to travel down that road. The looks, the whispers, the pictures that define you for decades. Hello, Versace dress! But no matter what, I’m just the girl I’ve always been with love that drives me to share my story on stage like I always have.
I am a woman. I am Jenny From The Block. And this is me…now. And putting this show together, bringing all of my love to all of you, that is my greatest joy. I love seeing your faces in the audience, and I love connecting with my fans. Come move, come sing, and come feel the energy live with me because this tour is a celebration for all of us. I can’t wait to see you at the show.”
Going on a safari is at the top of many travelers’ bucket lists — and for good reason. Getting the chance to see wildlife in their natural habitat up-close-and-personal is phenomenal and for many travelers, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Obviously, safaris are often unpredictable and are dictated by weather and the whereabouts of the wildlife — which is part of what makes them fun but has also led less ethical companies down a path of controlling variables by manipulating natural conditions.
Truly ethical safaris don’t interfere with the animals’ habitat or cause animals any direct harm. In short, they don’t impede wildlife at all. Many of the animals that folks want to see while on safaris in African countries such as Kenya, Rwanda, Tanzania, and South Africa are endangered species, meaning they aren’t hanging out all over the place. But their endangered status only serves to underscore the need to treat them with respect.
Safaris that support conservation can be a force for good and help contribute to the preservation of these at-risk animals. Here’s what makes a safari “animal-friendly” and how you can ensure yours is.
An animal-friendly safari bases its operations around the natural behavior of the animals — allowing guests to observe wildlife in their natural habitat from a respectful distance without causing them distress. Ethical safaris support conservation efforts by funding donations, educating participants about conservation in the areas they visit, and research partnerships. For instance, South African National Parks use funds from safaris to improve animal habitats and discourage poaching.
Animal-friendly safaris also adhere to strict interaction guidelines that respect the wildlife in its natural habitat by limiting how many vehicles can surround a group of animals, minimizing noise to avoid disturbing animals, limiting time in a location, and completely banning chasing, feeding, touching, or any other sort of interaction. If a safari tour operator allows any of these things that’s a major red flag, as this is all done to prevent causing the animal human-imposed stress which can alter behavior and impact the animals’ chances of survival.
“Safari jeep drivers should be respectful of when to drive and how close to get to animals. A safari jeep can interfere with a life cycle event by spooking a cheetah stalking a herd of Thompson’s Gazelles,” wildlife veterinarian Dr. Gabby Wild says.
HOW YOU CAN ENSURE YOUR SAFARI IS ANIMAL-FRIENDLY
Lola Méndez
Dr. Wild recommends looking for safari operators who donate to conservation organizations or who may even partner with them to assist in research, aiding injured wildlife, and management of threatened populations. “A giveback component to the land is a huge sign that the company cares for what they do,” she says.
Other signposts to look for are safari operators that only use UV-filtered spotlights on night drives to ensure wildlife won’t be harmed or startled by white light. To avoid overcrowding, travel with safari operators that visit game reserves and National Parks where limited permits are available daily.
“Some actions protect wildlife beyond the obvious measures. Certain animals are highly targeted by poachers, so we don’t disclose the exact locations of such wildlife in our photos or on social media. Poachers could use this information to track and hunt these highly targeted animals under the cover of night,” Sherwin Banda, President of African Travel Inc, says.
Lola Méndez
To make sure your safari is animal-friendly choose safari operators that don’t allow hands-on encounters such as walks with lions. The whole point of going on a safari is to be mesmerized by immersing yourself in the destination and having the opportunity to observe wildlife in its natural habitat — not forced interactions with exploited animals.
Prioritize going on safaris in lesser-visited parks. Rwanda’s Akagera National Park was once depleted and after over a decade of efforts now boasts a major increase in wildlife. It’s Central Africa’s largest protected wetland and has thriving populations of the Big Five — lion, leopard, elephant, rhino, and buffalo — as well as zebra, giraffe, antelope, and hundreds of bird species.
“Tourism contributes significantly to animal welfare as it brings financial investments to the destinations. By visiting these destinations, we not only protect wildlife but also provide economic benefits to local communities, particularly those working in rural areas, which can help support the sustainable protection of animal habitats,” Banda says.
TRY A GROUP-BASED ETHICAL SAFARI TOUR
Lola Méndez
It can be overwhelming trying to ensure the safari you’re booking is animal-friendly. Fortunately, many travel companies offer group safaris and have already done the grunt work to make certain safaris are prioritizing the conservation of wildlife.
Intrepid Group, the largest travel B Corp in the world, centers responsible travel and avoiding animal exploitation in all of its itineraries — especially African safaris. Intrepid’s Animal Welfare Policy was developed with World Animal Protection (WAP). Intrepid Group was the first major travel company to ban the sale of elephant rides. Three of its South African tours (starting at $1,055) stay overnight at the Black Mambas’ headquarters in South Africa outside of Kruger National Park. Guests join the all-female anti-poaching unit on a bushwalk to help search for snares. The Intrepid Foundation also donates to the organization.
G Adventures has a collection of 17 wildlife tours around the globe endorsed by ethologist Dr. Jane Goodall that are rooted in the company’s Animal Welfare Policy. African safaris in the collection include group trips to Tanzania, Madagascar, Rwanda, Botswana, and South Africa. G Adventures’ new luxury category, The Geluxe Collection, includes a South Africa trip ($6,299)where guests learn about wildlife tracking at the Pridelands Conservancy.
LOOK INTO PETA-CERTIFIED ANIMAL-FRIENDLY SAFARIS
Lola Méndez
PETA, the world’s largest animal rights organization, recognizes companies for their efforts to create animal-friendly safaris on protected reserves or in National Parks. PETA considers animal-friendly safaris to be small group tours that maintain a respectful distance from wild animals. All of the PETA-approved safari companies offer exclusively vegan menus, toiletries that weren’t tested on animals, linens that contain no animal ingredients, and no exposure to illicit trophy hunting.
On the PETA-approved list is Alluring Africa which partners with Vegans, Baby CEO and founder Diana Edelman on luxury vegan safaris ($7,650) focused on conservation. The company’s safari camp on the 320,000-acre Selinda Reserve in Botswana was a former hunting reserve and is now a hotspot for wildlife including large prides of lions, hyenas, leopards, and cheetahs.
Kings Camp ($850 a night for all-inclusive stays) in South Africa is recognized by PETA for its luxury safari in the Timbavati Private Nature Reserve. The camp faces an open savanna plain with an active waterhole frequently visited by wildlife. In Botswana, Vegan Safari Africa guests stay at the Deception Valley Lodge which used to be a massive cattle farm before it was rewilded to create corridors for migration, and waterholes.
SEEK OUT SAFARI OUTFITTERS THAT RESPECT THE ENVIRONMENT AND ECOSYSTEMS
Lola Méndez
In addition to PETA’s recommendations, there are several other do-good safari outfitters. Travelers interested in a safari experience that prioritizes the well-being of wildlife have many options.
My favorite safari outfitter that I’ve traveled with to date is Saruni Basecamp, a sustainable tourism company with solar-powered safari lodges. All-inclusive safaris start at $2,360. The 50,000-acre Naboisho Wildlife Conservancy in Kenya was the best game drive I’ve been on as it’s less visited, has an abundance of wildlife, and the Maasai guide was intimately acquainted with the land. I watched lions mate and a wildebeest be born. Basecamp established the Naboisho Wildlife Conservancy in 2010 through a long-term partnership with the Maasai people. Basecamp has also launched a local guiding school and exclusively employs local Maasai people at its lodges. The Basecamp Explorer Foundation projects include the reforestation of the Masai Mara, the Enjoolata education center, local waste collection in Talek, a women’s fair trade craft project, and more.
In Tanzania, Sababu Safaris makes bespoke itineraries with custom pricing and prioritizes responsible engagement with wildlife with a focus on social sustainability while visiting Kilimanjaro, Tarangire National Park, Southern Serengeti National Park, Lake Eyasi, and more. “Extensive research demonstrates responsible wildlife tourism sustains National Parks and wildlife conservancies and also bolsters the welfare of local communities,” Denise Brown, co-founder of Sababu says. Guests on Sababu Safaris help distribute water filters and solar lights to tribespeople.
Natural Habitat Adventures is the official travel partner of the World Wildlife Fund and is dedicated to all wildlife viewing experiences on their itineraries being ethical and nonthreatening to the animals. The flagship safari Secluded Botswana Safari ($16,495) takes travelers to see elephants, lions, buffalo, zebra, antelope, and more in the Okavango Delta, all from an ultra-quiet electric safari vehicle.
Sometimes the best new R&B can be hard to find, but there are plenty of great rhythm-and-blues tunes to get into if you have the time to sift through the hundreds of newly released songs every week. So that R&B heads can focus on listening to what they love in its true form, we’ll be offering a digest of the best new R&B songs that fans of the genre should hear every Friday.
Since the last update of this weekly R&B column, we’ve received plenty of music and news from the genre’s artists.
Jhené Aiko announced The Magic Hour Tour with Kiana Ledé, Umi, Coi Leray, and Tink, while Bryson Tiller revealed the tracklist for his upcoming Bryson Tiller album. PartyNextDoor signed on as a headliner for Afro Nation Detroit 2024 and SZA revealed plans for the SOS leaks and her upcoming project Lana. Elsewhere, Maxwell announced the Serenade tour with Jazmine Sullivan and October London and Normani announced the lead single from her upcoming album Dopamine.
Here are more releases from the past week to check out:
Blxst & Feid — “Rewind”
Summer is right around the corner, making now a perfect time for a collab between Blxst and Feid. The respective West Coast and Latin artist join forces for their new single “Rewind.” It’s a perfectly concocted blend of their styles for a track that’s all about dancing the night away and taking a shot to the good life you can enjoy.
Sinead Harnett — “Burn”
With her upcoming album Boundaries, Sinead Harnett returns with the project’s fourth single “Burn.” The somber single rages with the fear and pain of continuing life’s journey without a companion, though Harnett accepts that it’s better that way. “This one was a bit of an emotional journey,” she wrote Instagram. “You already know a Sinead album is gonna have at least one of them…lol. From heart to sleeve & nothing else in between.”
Ryan Trey — Streets Say You Still Miss Me
Nearly six months after dropping his third project Streets Say You Still Miss Me, St. Louis’ own Ryan Trey returns with an updated version. He delivers Streets Say You Still Miss Me with three new songs — “Ridin 4 U,” “Reset,” and “Pourin Out My Heart” — bringing the project’s length to 16 songs ahead of his gig as an opening act for Mariah The Scientist’s To Be Eaten Alive Tour.
Charlotte Day Wilson — “Canopy”
Toronto singer Charlotte Day Wilson is a little over a month away from the release of her second album Cyan Blue. Out on May 1, Wilson already has two singles out from the album — “Forever” with Snoh Aalegra and “I Don’t Love You.” — and today she makes it three with “Canopy.” The funky single is one Wilson uses to create some distance between her and another individual due to the self-inflicted damage they bring upon themselves.
Lokre — “Body”
Over a year has gone by since Toronto singer Lokre impressively stepped onto the scene with her debut project Elizabeth. Now she’s back to begin her latest era with her new single “Body.” The flavorful single undoubtedly opens a new chapter for Lokre as the record is sort of a free moment for her. Additionally, it will be perfect for the laid-back summer days that are right around the corner.
Felix Ames — “Mr. Weatherman”
With a deluxe edition of Jena on the way, Milwaukee singer Felix Ames kicks off the rollout with “Mr. Weatherman.” The chill and breezy captures Ames in a state of uncertainty, unsure of what lies ahead for him. He calls out to the weatherman for some sort of forecast, in hopes of finding the guiding light he seeks.
Reggie Bection — Sadboy, Vol.2
The Sadboy era continues for PG County singer Reggie Becton. He returns with Sadboy, Vol. 2 less than a year after kicking off the series. The second installment delivers seven songs with contributions from FELIX!, Mayila, and Shah Infinite who all help Becton paint a clear picture of the rollercoaster he’s been on in the realm of love, life, and loss.
Avenoir — “Superficial”
Edmonton singer Avenoir gracefully enters 2024 with his new single “Superficial,” which arrives just months after his debut project Noire. “Superficial” documents the difference between Avenoir and his partner and how those differences come alive.
Olivia Nelson — Wings
British singer Olivia Nelson unveiled her new project Wings complete with nine captivating songs that make a listen-through absolutely worthwhile. Wings is the strong follow-up to her 2019 EP Back To You, as her vocals soar while she recounts the highs and lows of her love life and the personal growth she’s experienced.
Byron Juane & Kenyon Dixon — “Timeless”
For their first collaboration, Byron Juane and Kenyon Dixon want to create memories that will last a lifetime for their significant other. With “Timeless,” the two promise to create a timeless experience for the special women in their lives. Whether in the bedroom or at the dinner table, Juane and Dixon have a plan to be the best romantics they can be.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
A Business Insider column noted that two-thirds of the bottled water sold in the United States is in individual 16.9-ounce bottles, which comes out to roughly $7.50 per gallon. That’s about 2,000 times higher than the cost of a gallon of tap water.
And in an article in 20 Something Finance, G.E. Miller investigated the cost of bottled versus tap water for himself. He found that he could fill 4,787 20-ounce bottles with tap water for only $2.10! So if he paid $1 for a bottled water, he’d be paying 2,279 times the cost of tap.
2. Bottled water could potentially be of lower quality than tap water.
Fiji Water ran an ad campaign that was pretty disparaging about the city of Cleveland. Not a wise move. The city ordered a test of the snooty brand’s water and found that Fiji Water contained levels of arsenic that weren’t seen in the city’s water supply.
” Bottled water manufacturers are not required to disclose as much information as municipal water utilities because of gaps in federal oversight authority. Bottom line: The Food and Drug Administration oversees bottled water, and U.S. EPA is in charge of tap water. FDA lacks the regulatory authority of EPA.”
3. The amount of bottled water we buy every week in the U.S. alone could circle the globe five times!
That sounded like it just had to be impossible, so we looked into it. Here’s what our fact-checkers found:
“According to the video, ‘ People in the U.S. buy more than half a billion bottles of water every week.’ National Geographic says for 2011, bottled water sales hit 9.1 billion gallons (roughly 34 billion liters).
A ‘typical’ water bottle is a half-liter, so that’s about 68 billion bottles per year. Divided by 52 weeks would be a little over 1 billion bottles of water sold per week in the U.S. Because that’s based on a smaller ‘typical’ bottle size, it seems reasonable that a half billion bottles a week could be accurate.
The Earth is about 131.5 million feet around, so yep, half a billion bottles of varying sizes strung end-to-end could circle the Earth five times.”
4. Paying for bottled water makes us chumps.
Beverage companies have turned bottled water into a multibillion-dollar industry through a concept known as manufactured demand. Bottled water advertisements used a combination of scare tactics (Tap water bad!) and seduction (From the purest mountain streams EVER!) to reel us in.
Well, we now know their claims about the superior quality of bottled water are mostly bogus. And research shows that anywhere from a quarter to 45% of all bottled water comes from the exact same place as your tap water (which, to reiterate, is so cheap it’s almost free).
5. Bottled water is FILTHY.
It takes oil — lots of it — to make plastic bottles. According to the video, the energy in the amount of oil it takes to make the plastic water bottles sold in the U.S. in one year could fuel a million cars. That’s not even counting the oil it takes to ship bottled water around the world.
On top of all that, the process of manufacturing plastic bottles is polluting public water supplies, which makes it easier for bottled water companies to sell us their expensive product.
6. There are 750 million people around the world who don’t have access to clean water.
A child dies every minute from a waterborne disease. And for me, that’s the core of what makes bottled water so evil.
The video wraps by comparing buying bottled water to smoking while pregnant. That may sound extreme, but after learning everything I just did about the bottled water industry, I can’t disagree.
If you’re properly disgusted, here are a few ways you can help destroy the bottled water industry:
Don’t buy bottled water. Get a reusable water bottle. The savings will add up.
Rally your schools, workplaces, and communities to ban bottled water.
Demand that your city, state, and federal governments invest in better water infrastructure.
Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.
From an early age, we’re led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.
It can be a little stressful.
But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.
Nope, it’s not hippie nonsense. It’s science.
Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like “The child is good at understanding other’s feelings” on a handy “Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well” scale.
The research team used these responses to give each kid a “social competency score,” which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.
Here’s what they found.
1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.
Back To School GIF by IFC – Find & Share on GIPHY
Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.
But what that test score doesn’t tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.
The researchers behind this project wrote, “Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning.”
That’s a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.
2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.
Adam Sandler Pee GIF – Find & Share on GIPHY
We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That’s why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.
What they found probably isn’t too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.
What’s surprising is just how strong the correlation was.
An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.
The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.
The study couldn’t say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn’t help.
3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it’s never too late to change.
The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating “malleable,” or changeable.
Let’s face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That’s something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.
And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you’re able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.
So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?
But what does it all mean?
This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just “good” or “very good” at a given trait.
Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it’s a great “target for prevention or intervention efforts.”
The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they’re feeling inside.
Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.
“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.”
In October 2016, that was a quote from Albert Einstein that sat atop the Facebook page of Tim McMillan, a police officer in Georgia.
McMillan become a sensation after a post he wrote on his Facebook wall went viral in 2016. In his post, he explains how he pulled over a Black teen for texting while driving:
“I pulled a car over last night for texting and driving. When I went to talk to the driver, I found a young black male, who was looking at me like he was absolutely terrified with his hands up. He said, ‘What do you want me to do officer?’ His voice was quivering. He was genuinely scared,” McMillan wrote.
But McMillan said he wasn’t interested in harassing or arresting the young man, let alone inflicting violence upon him. Nonetheless, the teen’s emotional response hit McMillan like a punch to the gut.
“I just looked at him for a moment, because what I was seeing made me sad. I said, ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt.’ In which he replied, with his voice still shaking, ‘Do you want me to get out of the car.’ I said, ‘No, I don’t want you to text and drive. I don’t want you to get in a wreck. I want your mom to always have her baby boy. I want you to grow up and be somebody. I don’t even want to write you a ticket. Just please pay attention, and put the phone down. I just don’t want you to get hurt,'” he wrote.
McMillan said the interaction made him reflect on a deeply personal level about the national attention being paid to acts of police violence against Black Americans, particularly young Black men.
“I truly don’t even care who’s fault it is that young man was so scared to have a police officer at his window. Blame the media, blame bad cops, blame protestors, or Colin Kaepernick if you want. It doesn’t matter to me who’s to blame. I just wish somebody would fix it.”
When most people get angry they feel the only cure for the intense emotion is to blow off some steam. That could mean venting by yelling and screaming at the source of their anger, speeding down the freeway or punching a wall.
However, new research shows that this type of destructive behavior only intensifies the feeling.
“I think it’s really important to bust the myth that if you’re angry you should blow off steam – get it off your chest,” said senior author Brad Bushman, professor of communication at The Ohio State University. “Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there’s not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory.”
Catharsis theory is the idea that by venting one’s anger people will eventually arrive at a relaxed, anger-free state.
To determine if venting is effective at reducing anger and, if not, find effective ways for people to reduce their rage, researchers at The Ohio State University analyzed 154 studies on anger. The meta-analysis found little evidence that venting helps and that in many cases, it increases people’s arousal levels and makes the episode last longer.
So, the guy who screams in his car after someone cuts him off in traffic is essentially only harming himself by intensifying his state of hyperarousal. Or the woman who wants to give the waiter a “piece of her mind” after waiting too long for the check should realize that she’s only making herself more upset.
“To reduce anger, it is better to engage in activities that decrease arousal levels,” Bushman said. “Despite what popular wisdom may suggest, even going for a run is not an effective strategy because it increases arousal levels and ends up being counterproductive.”
“I wanted to debunk the whole theory of expressing anger as a way of coping with it,” study’s first author Sophie Kjærvik said. “We wanted to show that reducing arousal, and actually the physiological aspect of it, is really important.”
The researchers found that arousal-decreasing activities are effective at lowering anger included deep breathing, relaxation, mindfulness, meditation, slow flow yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, diaphragmic breathing and taking a timeout.
“It was really interesting to see that progressive muscle relaxation and just relaxation in general might be as effective as approaches such as mindfulness and meditation,” Kjærvik continued. “And yoga, which can be more arousing than meditation and mindfulness, is still a way of calming and focusing on your breath that has the similar effect in reducing anger.
The study found that if you’re angry, some forms of physical activity can be helpful while others may prolong the episode. Jogging was found to intensify feelings of anger; however, physical education classes and games involving a ball were found to decrease it. Feelings have two componments, physical and mental, so it’s believed that physical activity with a sense of play involved, may increase positive emotions and diminish feelings of anger.
“Certain physical activities that increase arousal may be good for your heart, but they’re definitely not the best way to reduce anger,” Bushman said. “It’s really a battle because angry people want to vent, but our research shows that any good feeling we get from venting actually reinforces aggression.”
In the 1988 Disney classic “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” the titular character is in an unlikely relationship with his voluptuous wife Jessica. Roger is a frantic, anxious rabbit with a penchant for mischief, while Jessica is a quintessential ’40s bombshell who stands about a foot and a half taller and isn’t “bad,” just “drawn that way.”
When private investigator Eddie Valiant asked Jessica what she sees in “that guy?” she replies, “He makes me laugh.”
This type of couple may seem like something we only see in the movies, but don’t underestimate the power of humor when it comes to attractiveness. A new study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that being humorous is the most effective way to flirt for both men and women.
“People think that humour, or being able to make another person laugh, is most effective for men who are looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women who are looking for a one-night stand. But laughing or giggling at the other person’s jokes is an effective flirtation tactic for both sexes,” says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology’s (NTNU) Department of Psychology.
“It is not only effective to be funny, but for women, it is very important that you show your potential partner that you think they are funny,” Rebecca Burch, a co-author from SUNY Oswego in New York, added.
Unfortunately, this study was only conducted on heterosexual couples.
For men, showing off their sense of humor was found to be the most effective way to flirt whether they were looking for a short-term or a long-term relationship. For women, being funny was the most effective tactic when looking for a long-term relationship. For people looking for a short-term fling, appearing available was the most effective tactic.
According to the study, humor is effective regardless of one’s attractiveness. “Individual differences in age, religiosity, extroversion, personal attractiveness and preferences for short-term sexual relationships had little or no effect on how effective respondents considered the various flirting tactics to be,” says study co-author Prof. Mons Bendixen.
If you see someone you like but don’t think you’re good-looking enough for them, give it a shot. You may still have a chance if you can make ’em laugh.
The most effective tactics for those looking for a long-term relationship:
For women:
1. Makes him laugh
2. Shows interest in conversations
3. Spends time with him
4. Engages in deep conversations
5. Kisses on mouth
For men:
1. Makes her laugh
2. Spends time with her
3. Shows interest in conversations
4. Engages in deep conversations
5. Smiles
The study is proof that looks aren’t everything and shows that having a good sense of humor isn’t just about making someone laugh. A great sense of humor is evidence that someone is intelligent, wise, perceptive, confident, can see things from new perspectives and has good intuition. It also helps people quickly build bonds and share experiences, which is a great way to get close to someone in a fast and fun way.
So why wouldn’t Jessica be with Roger? The guy is hilarious.
This story originally appeared on 05.07.22
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