Dads don’t typically get labeled as the parent you come to with an emotional issue—that’s usually one of the many jobs reserved for mom.
A father’s sensitivity, or lack thereof, is often depicted as going straight for “practical solutions” and preaching the values of stoicism—you know, the manly stuff. . There’s of course nothing inherently wrong with these coping strategies, but in times of despair when all you want is a shoulder to cry on, they can feel a little…less than satisfactory.
But sometimes we get stories of fathers breaking the mold with profound compassion. And when we do, it can help heal the parts of ourselves that maybe didn’t get that from our own dads.
That’s certainly the case for the millions of viewers who were moved when a woman named Fallon Thompson shared the incredible text her dad sent her right after a breakup.
As Thompson explained in her video, her partner dumped her in the driveway of her home, and her father saw the entire thing—prompting him to send a little reassurance.
First, he shared how his own experience with heartbreak helped him find the relationship he truly wanted.
“Hey baby girl…here is some perspective from your old man…I have had lots of relationships…from one night stands, to flights, to friends with benefits, to girlfriends, to live-in girlfriends, and then I met your mom” his message began.
“I can say with certainty that when I met her, it was instantly different. I can also say I knew it was different because I went through those other experiences,” he continued. “So what you are dealing with today is necessary in order for you to one day be able to discern when a person is really right for you.”
He even tried to remind her to be grateful for the experience, without trying to diminish her pain.
“When someone lets you know that you are not for them, deal with…the knowledge that this person gave you back the most valuable thing in the world—your time…Rejoice…that your life is still completely yours and you have not wasted it shackled to someone that did not completely want you.”
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more poetic, the dad then used a brilliant metaphor about cows, bulls and bravery.
Simply put, he said that cows run away from a storm when they see it, and in the process “end up being tortured by the storm longer” since they inadvertently stay in it longer.
Bulls, on the other hand, run towards the storm. The feeling is initially “terrible” but the storm passes by quickly, bringing peace and a renewed sense of strength.
“Be the bull, and lean into your storm,” the dad concluded.” Embrace the suck and let it fill you up. You are strong enough to endure, and very soon you will be at peace. Still on your path, achieving goals, and with all of your time still in surplus. Love, Dad.”
This dad’s heartfelt message not only helped his daughter in a time of need, but millions of viewers as well.
“Tell you dad thank you on my behalf, I need that sm,” one person wrote.
Another echoed, “Your dad just fixed a little part of me. Thanks for sharing.”
One even quipped, “Oh to have an emotionally intelligent dad.”
In an interview with Buzzfeed, Scott (Thompson’s father) shared why it’s vital for dads to be emotionally available to their daughters.
“To the girl dads out there: Just be there. Be invested in their lives; they are so much tougher than us and deal with so much more than we will ever know. That’s why it’s so important to lift them up for both their wins and losses. The world is tough on our girls, and if we can support them during the challenges they face, eventually, they will be able to support themselves and make their own path. Hug your girls tight, never be afraid to be vulnerable with them, and tell them you love them any chance you get,” he said.
Indeed, research has shown that fathers play a crucial role in helping their kids to become emotionally resilient adults. Not all fathers will actively take on this role, but even the second hand healing from witnessing it in other father-child relationships is potent. Thank you to dads like Scott who show just how impactful a father’s love can be.