One of the most important parental goals is raising a child who can achieve their dreams. But no matter how smart or talented someone may be, a big part of achieving our goals is knowing how to put them into action.
Far too many people have lofty dreams but fall short because they get discouraged or don’t know how to create a map to achieving them. As the famously prolific author Stephen King once said, “Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”
So, how do parents prepare their children for success? According to research, it’s essential to paint a realistic picture and to prepare them for setbacks.
A 2018 study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition says, “Rather than acting as cheerleaders giving facile encouragement, leaders … might serve (others) better by providing a more sobering description of the challenges.”
If your child’s goal is to make $100 with a lemonade stand, you should cheer them on and be as supportive as possible. But you should also let them know there may be some pitfalls along the way. There may be days when business is slow because no one is driving up the block. Some people who stop by the stand may not buy anything because they don’t have cash. Others may visit the stand and say they will come back but never do.
That way, when the child runs into difficulty, they don’t feel like giving up. Instead, they know that it is all part of the process of earning $100.
Simply put, when you think something will be easy and then discover it’s not, it’s normal to feel like giving up. But if you anticipate challenges from the start, it’s much easier to find the determination to work through them.
The Boys and Girls Club of America has similar advice for parents. Children know that adults often set goals and achieve them. However, because they are removed from the process, they may not know that achieving those goals often involves setbacks and unforeseen challenges.
So, when you set a goal for yourself, bring your child along on the journey so they can experience it first-hand. It will give them more confidence to pursue their own goals.
“Be open with them throughout the process, share what steps you’re taking to achieve your goal and be candid about setbacks and changes,” the Boys and Girls Club writes on its blog. “These conversations can be casual, but they show how much work you’re putting in that your teen may not realize you’re doing, helping your teen understand how something is earned with time and effort.
Ultimately, one of the biggest parts of achieving goals is managing expectations. It’s much better to know that there will be hardship along the way than to be surprised by it.
The emotional journey of creating anything great requires crossing the dark swamp of despair..
Outsiders almost never see the crazy belief and persistence required to cross that chasm.. pic.twitter.com/iyZBKw5zE8
— Bill Gross (@Bill_Gross) May 26, 2018
The emotional ups and downs in achieving a goal are perfectly explained in a viral meme called “The Emotional Journey of Creating Anything Great.” It shows how all great ideas sound exciting at first but can begin to feel impossible when the hard work kicks in. But once we make it through the “Swamp of Dispair,” things magically get easier.
The key is knowing that there is a swamp and pushing through it.