It’s understandable for parents to put off giving their kid a smartphone ‘til the last moment possible. Because it can be the moment they change from a happy, carefree tween to a teenager whose face is constantly stuck in their phone.
A smartphone exposes them to all the dangers of social media and is connects them 24-7 to a device that manipulates them on a biochemical level. Further, recent research has shown there is a “fairly robust” consensus among academics that smartphones are linked to the rise in teen depression, loneliness and self-harm.
No wonder many parents are thinking twice about getting their kids a smartphone.
In a video recently shared by The Drew Barrymore Show, the daytime TV host revealed the struggle she’s having with her daughters, Olive, 11, and Frankie, 10, who are asking for smartphones.
“A lot of parents are giving their kids phones at very young ages, and it’s just access to everything,” Barrymore told her audience. “It’s really tough. I’m like very overwhelmed.”
Drew Barrymore on the challenge of parenting kids who want cellphones
@thedrewbarrymoreshow @Drew Barrymore on the challenge of parenting kids who want cellphones 🤳 #parents #parentsoftiktok #parenting
But even though she’s under extreme pressure from her kids, Barrymore is standing her ground. “I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to give in. I haven’t let my kids have phones yet,” she told the audience as it broke into applause.
Barrymore’s struggle with telling her children “no” is one that every parent faces.
“It’s amazing to have wanted so badly for my kids to love me and to love their environment and feel safe…None of us want our children to resent us,” she continued. “And we don’t want to be their enemy. It’s such a hard choice to say, ‘I don’t care if you hate me for this. I don’t care if you’re mad at me for this. I know that I am doing the right thing by you and I accept your anger.’”
“Nobody wants their kids to be angry with them. It’s not a great feeling,” she continued. Barrymore also understands that, as a parent, it’s easy to have a weak moment and give in because toeing the line can be tiresome. “I have to find the courage every day not to give in,” she said.
But in the end, Barrymore understands that every parent and child is different and that those who have bought their kids smartphones shouldn’t feel bad about the decision. “And by the way, if you’ve given your kids phones and you’re doing the hands up, you’re not wrong. There is no right and wrong. It’s just a hard thing to navigate,” she said.
The post went viral, attracting over 860,000 views and nearly 1300 comments. Many sent messages of support for Barrymore and those who share the same dilemma. “If your child is never mad at you, you aren’t doing your job,” Cheriek wrote. “Thanks for adding the last statement. I have told so many people that. There is no right or wrong on how you are raising your children.” Julia Belgraves added.
How old are kids when they get their first smartphones these days? According to Common Sense Media, 42% of kids have a phone by age 10, 71% by 12 and 91% by 14. Unfortunately, there is no consensus on the right age to give a child a smartphone. Jerry Bubrick, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute says it depends on the child’s maturity. “I tell parents that it’s not so much about a particular age as it is about a kid’s social awareness and understanding of what the technology means,” Dr. Bubrick told Child Mind.