The “shopping cart theory,” supposedly sprung to life from an anonymous 4chan user in May 2020, states that whether or not a person returns their shopping cart is “the ultimate litmus test” for if said person is “capable of self governing.”
The theory surmises that since returning a shopping cart is both an easy and “objectively right” thing to do, but not legally enforced, “good” people will do so in an effort simply because it’s the right thing to do. Conversely, “bad” people won’t do it out of selfishness or entitlement.
However, forensic psychologist and mom Dr. Leslie Dobson seems to disagree with the concept, and recently went viral for explaining why she never returns her shopping cart.
“I’m not returning my shopping cart,” she said in a clip posted to TikTok. “You can judge me all you want.”
From her perspective, it’s a safety issue. “I’m not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car and leaving them in the car to go return the cart. So if you’re gonna give me a dirty look…F- -k off.”
@drlesliedobson #groceryshopping #shoppingcart #traderjoes #protectourchildren #protectourkids #educational #groceries #singlemom #drleslie ♬ original sound – Dr. Leslie
Dobson’s take left viewers baffled, many of whom shared criticism in the comments section.
“Shopping cart return stations are all over the parking lot — so never really more than 20 seconds away and you still can’t be bothered?” one person wrote.
“I’m a single disabled momma. I have a placard and thus park in the handicap spots. I rely on the cart to help me walk and still walk the cart to the corral and hobble back to my car,” said another.
This prompted Dobson to share a follow-up video in which she stated that “Last year, 265 children were abducted in parking lots in America, half of those were sexually assaulted. As a single mom returning your shopping cart, you are prime for a predator to watch and grab you.”
@drlesliedobson
According to Fox News, that statistics comes from Kids and Car Safety, which reports that 265 cars had been stolen with children alone inside in 2022, though not all in parking lots. Also worth noting: the same fact sheet doesn’t mention sexual assault, however, it does say that theives frequently steal cars not knowing a child is inside, and will then abandon the car or the child on the side of the road.
In her video. Dobson also noted that in many states, like California, it’s illegal to turn your car on and walk away in a parking lot, and said that in certain congested cities like Los Angeles (where she resides) it could be a “12 minute walk” from the car to back to the store to return a shopping cart.
With both her clips, people argued that there were obvious ways to both return carts and keep kids nearby at the same time.
“1) put groceries in the car 2) walk with the kids in the cart to the cart house 3) return cart 4) walk back to the cars with kids,” one viewer wrote.
Another seconded, “mom of a 6yo, 3yo and 9months. I simply unload the groceries, return cart WITH kids, and then load them in. Same way that we got out of the car. Simple.”
Regardless of whether or not you agree with Dobson’s specific stance, it’s fascinating how this universal aspect of daily life reflects how individuals view society as a whole.
Back in 2017, anthropologist and author Krystal D’Costa wrote not one, but two articles for the Scientific American dissecting all the ways in which someone might or might not return their shopping cart. After receiving thousands of comments from “Returners,” “Never Returners” and everywhere in between, she concluded that no matter what category you might fall into, “the main point is that we all need to look around us and think not only about ourselves and our comforts but those of others.” That includes both cart abandoners and those that might judge them for doing so.
Bottom line: it’s often the way we handle the most mundane parts of our day that reflect our views on life as a whole. Maybe that’s why something like grocery etiquette becomes such a hot button issue so easily.