Month: June 2024

In the Game of Thrones there are winners and then there are those sans dragons. With Targaryens on both sides, spewing fire and sowing chaos in Westeros, keeping track of which House of the Dragon character is outmaneuvering their way to absolute power is almost as hard as remembering the difference between a Jaecaerys, a Jaehaerys, and a Jaehaera.

So, to keep track of the players and their place on the board, we’ll be ranking which would-be genocidal maniacs have the best showing each episode. Maybe they’re closer to the throne, exacting vengeance on their enemies, or just enjoying injecting a bit of mayhem into this Dance of Dragons. Whatever the case, this is the HotD Leaderboard and these are the standings.

1. Aemond Targaryen

The internet’s favorite one-eyed Becky with the good hair is firmly in his villain phase this season and we couldn’t be happier for him. While some House of the Dragon characters would rather wrestle with questions of morality and royal responsibility, that kind of quiet introspection just isn’t for this aspiring war criminal. He’s here for a good time, not a long time you see, which means he’s preoccupied with plotting battles behind his brother-king’s back and trash-talking his own mother to her secret lover and hopping aboard his aging pet dragon to instill fear in the smallfolk whenever the dopamine gets too low. Guilt? Aemond Targaryen’s never heard of her – that’s what makes him so dangerous.

2. Larys Strong

Larys Strong is just looking for someone to match his (foot) freak this season but, alas, the Red Keep is short on familicidal sociopaths who live for mess. So instead, Larys is entertaining his own damn self, sowing seeds of doubt in Aegon’s ear, caving in on himself to appear weak and pathetic to a boy king who actually is both of those things one minute before towering over a former queen the next. He’s hiring new staff willing to give him all the castle goss and (probably) engaging in a both-sides sort of deal with Daemon Targaryen. When people say war is profitable, those people are Larys Strong.

3. Daemon Targaryen

Daemon Targaryen is having a midlife crisis except, instead of abandoning his family and buying a sports car, he’s ordering the decapitation of children and kickstarting a civil war. Again, some kind of telehealth therapy service would work wonders in Westeros right now. Despite his rash decision making and desire to just burn everything to the ground, Daemon isn’t exactly wrong in how he’s handling the fallout of Lucerys’ death. Sure, he should let his wife grieve for a minute, but he’s also smart enough to realize that blockades won’t last forever and every moment of inaction is seen as weakness by their enemies. Does he want Rhaenyra’s throne? Vengeance for his brother and stepson? Or just another chance at glory? Who knows and really, who cares? He’s back in his “time to commit crime” hoodie and for that, we’re thankful.

4. Alicent Hightower

Alicent Hightower is in her hot girl summer phase so this whole war business is really cramping her style at the moment. She should be sitting on Criston Cole’s face breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Instead, she’s wrangling the violent impulses of her two sons, shirking her motherly duties to her daughter, clawing for a modicum of power at a table full of men, and delusionally imagining that her former bestie might still bend the knee. Your son’s dragon ate her son, Alicent! Have all those orgasms addled your brain?

5. Criston Cole

It’s a real shame that this bottom feeder is ranked anywhere but dead last on any kind of power scale but the truth is, Criston Cole is playing a good game in the grand scheme of things. He’s got no title, no wealth, and no dragons to speak of and yet, he’s got the ear of both princes and he’s sharing the Queen’s bed. He’s still a self-righteous, self-important prick obsessed with the teenage girl who rejected him all those years ago, but as long as he doesn’t gaze too hard into the mirror, he’ll be fine.

6. Rhaenyra Targaryen

Why can’t everyone just leave Rhaenyra Targaryen alone? Her son is dead, as is his dragon. Her father’s kingdom has been stolen from her. Her baby died in childbirth as her husband was plotting to steal her throne. She’s had a rough couple of days, okay? And instead of letting her practice some self-care by flying her dragon around Storm’s End searching for her boy’s corpse and refusing to bathe, you want her to give marching orders and plan a war? Yes, women can do it all. But must they?

7. Lord Corlys Velaryon

The good news: Corlys Velaryon is not dead. It took him a few episodes to recover from a battle at sea, episodes in which his absence was used to threaten Rhaenyra’s reign and start a war between two powerful houses but hey, everybody heals differently. The bad news? Corlys is without an heir and a certain sailor shares a few too many of his attributes to not arouse suspicion in his wife.

8. Otto Hightower

Otto Hightower hasn’t learned any lessons from last season. He’s still trying to make a worthy leader out of his disappointing grandson and he refuses to moisturize that beard. There’s specific sense of joy in watching him work so hard to become king-by-proxy, betraying his best friend and lighting a match to his legacy, only to then play babysitter to an incompetent man-child with mommy issues.

9. Aegon Targaryen

In a just world, Aegon Targaryen would be whoring his way through Flea Bottom, drinking himself to an early grave and remaining unconcerned with the definition of the word “magnanimous.” But this is George R.R. Martin’s universe, so we’re giving him the codes to the metaphorical nukes and just letting him wing it. Sounds about right.

New ‘House of the Dragon’ episodes air on HBO (and stream on Max) on Sunday nights.

Back in January 2023, Coldplay offered an update about their upcoming milestone 10th album, with Chris Martin saying, “We’re finishing an album called Moon Music, which is the second Music Of The Spheres volume, but that won’t come out for a little bit.” Then, that November, they teased a song called “One World” when they asked fans to contribute recordings of themselves to be used on the track.

Now, the band has officially announced Moon Music, and it’s set to drop on October 4. There’s no tracklist revealed yet, but there’s the aforementioned “One World,” as well as a new song called “Feelslikeimfallinginlove” that’s set for release this Friday, June 21.

Physical editions of the album will be available, but the band is doing it in an uncommonly sustainability-focused way. On the vinyl front, Moon Music will be released as a 140g EcoRecord rPET LP, each copy of which contains “nine recycled PET-plastic bottles recovered from post-consumer waste,” per a press release.

There’s also the Notebook Edition EcoRecord rPET LP edition, which “comprises 70% river plastic, intercepted by The Ocean Cleanup from the Rio Las Vacas, Guatemala, and prevented from reaching the Gulf of Honduras and the Atlantic Ocean.”

Finally, there’s the CD release, which will “be the world’s first to be released on EcoCD, created from 90% recycled polycarbonate, sourced from post-consumer waste streams.”

Coldplay’s Moon Music Album Cover Artwork

Moon Music is out 10/4 via Parlophone/Atlantic. Find more information here.

Jay-Z doesn’t exactly have the strongest association with the Broadway world, but he still managed to wow at this weekend’s Tony Awards.

Alicia Keys’ musical Hell’s Kitchen was among this year’s nominees, so she performed during the ceremony. She began with a rendition of “Empire State Of Mind (Part II) Broken Down” before transitioning into the original “Empire State Of Mind,” during which Jay appeared on a giant screen to perform his part of the song, which got a big reaction from the audience. It turned out Jay was performing from the lobby outside of the venue, and Keys made her way out there to perform the track alongside Jay.

This actually isn’t Jay’s first Tonys experience: He was a producer of the musical Fela!, which is based on the life of Nigerian singer Fela Kuti. The show was one of the most-nominated at the 2010 Tonys, racking up 11 nods including for Best Musical. Jay said of the show at the time, “It’s an inspiration, about the power of music. Here’s a guy that’s on the other side of the world who was influenced by James Brown, who takes this thing and makes his own sort of genre of music. I just think it’s fascinating.”

Check out the performance above.

Have you seen Ayo Edebiri camping out at her local movie theater lately? That’s because she’s prepping for Cuckoo, and she is simply too excited to give up her seat. She’s got a little bit of time to wait, though.

Gen Z It Girl Hunter Schafer stars in the horror film Cuckoo, her first leading role, thanks to the never-ending Euphoria delay. The upcoming thriller hits theaters later this summer, but it’s already acquired a good amount of buzz after making the rounds at various festivals this past spring, with critics calling the movie “bonkers” and “deliriously entertaining,” so you can understand Edebiri’s excitement. Schafer’s performance is already being praised as “superb.”

German filmmaker Tilman Singer penned the film, which recently won the Silver Raven Award at the Brussels International Film Festival, so the anticipation is already kicking into high gear. It’s also a good sign that Neon is distributing the film, which has been killing it in the horror genre lately. Here is everything to know about the R-rated film.

Plot

Hunter Schafer stars as Gretchen, a teen who heads to live with her father and his new family at a mysterious German resort. She begins to work as a receptionist at the resort, and things begin to mess with her head as she is haunted by figures and disturbing sounds. She eventually learns that her family arrived there for a reason, but they might not be able to leave in one piece. Here is the official plot synopsis:

Reluctantly, 17-year-old Gretchen leaves her American home to live with her father, who has just moved into a resort in the German Alps with his new family. Arriving at their future residence, they are greeted by Mr. König, her father’s boss, who takes an inexplicable interest in Gretchen’s mute half-sister Alma. Something doesn’t seem right in this tranquil vacation paradise. Gretchen is plagued by strange noises and bloody visions until she discovers a shocking secret that also concerns her own family.

Cast

Shafer stars as Gretchen, the rebellious teen daughter who agrees to move to Germany with her father. Jan Bluthardt, Marton Csokas, Jessica Henwick and Dan Stevens also star.

Originally, John Malkovich and Gemma Chan were attached to the project, but they left before filming.

Release Date

After its initial release at the Berlin International Film Festival in February and SXSW in March, the film was initially supposed to hit U.S. theaters in May before being pushed to August 2nd, 2024.

Trailer

The blood-soaked trailer was released earlier this year. Check it out below:

In the world of sports pre- and post-game or event coverage, there isn’t a ton of differentiation in terms of format, as everyone, regardless of sport, does about the same thing. You have a group of folks sitting around a desk talking, bantering, and arguing, with some breakdown segments where someone hops on the telestrator to diagram the biggest plays or moments.

On occasion, you might go to a demo area where the analysts will walk fans through a key play, but that’s about as interactive as shows can get, simply due to the restrictions of being in a studio. However, this year, Golf Channel has done something truly groundbreaking on its Live From coverage from on-site, and it has become one of my (and many other golf fans) favorite things, which is sending former PGA Tour pro Johnson Wagner out onto the course after a round to try and recreate a pivotal shot that we just saw.

The results have been pretty incredible, from Wagner throwing balls at a hill at Sawgrass to see where Rory McIlroy’s drive really would’ve gone in the water after a controversial drop to him putting his chipping yips on display numerous times at the PGA Championship and US Open trying to illustrate the difficulty of getting up-and-down. It is the perfect golf content, because Wagner is no longer a Tour caliber player and his struggles (even as a very good player) offer a fantastic way for golf fans at home to relate and understand just how impressive some of these shots we’ve seen are.

On Sunday at Pinehurst No. 2, Bryson DeChambeau won his second U.S. Open title thanks to an all-world bunker shot from 55 yards out on the 18th needing an up-and-down for par to beat Rory McIlroy, who had made bogey on 18 in the group in front.

After DeChambeau was presented with the Wanamaker Trophy and everyone had cleared the 18th, the stage was set for Wagner to set off into the night and try his hand at that same shot under the lights of the jumbotron and the clubhouse in the distance. Wagner, with his 50-degree wedge and a documented case of the yips, slammed his first attempt over the green, sheepishly hoping he didn’t send it into the clubhouse. But as he started to climb out of the bunker, DeChambeau appeared from the darkness, trophy in hand, ready to make TV magic and demanded Wagner hit it agian.

The result was nothing short of incredible, as Wagner thought he chunked it, but instead hit a perfect shot to 18 inches away from the pin. He and DeChambeau celebrated wildly as if Wagner himself had just won the championship, with Bryson even handing over the trophy.

Wagner going from nuking one over the green to a perfect shot (which he thought he hit fat, which is honestly even better) once DeChambeau showed up is amazing. You can make the case that those two are more dedicated to creating content than anyone in the golf world, Bryson as the world’s foremost YouTube golfer and Johnson as the only analyst in golf (and really any sport) willing to make a fool out of himself on national TV in order to give people a greater appreciation for what the game’s elite are pulling off. That Wagner got that moment of elation, hitting an insanely tough bunker shot to gimme range, was well deserved after going on TV and skulling chips for the past few months.

(WARNING: Spoilers for The Chi season 6 will be found below.)

The Chi is just a couple of weeks away from completing its sixth season, one that began with part one last summer. The season continues with the fourteenth episode “Smoke & Mirrors” where Emmett and Nuk are adjusting to the new family dynamic that places the latter into Emmett and Keisha’s world after they learned Nuk is Ronnie’s father. There’s a lot of work for Emmett to do, mainly because he and Nuk have never got along. That couldn’t be clearer as the two butt heads over Nuk joining the family so that he can take Ronnie trick or treating. After another disagreement over candy for Ronnie, Emmett tries to set things straight with Nuk but their egos get in the way of what could’ve been a productive conversation.

“Smoke & Mirrors” also brings us up to speed with Papa’s new role as assistant to Pastor Ezekiel at his New Hope On Zion church. Things seem to be going well until Papa inquiries about Pastor Ezekiel’s wife Tatiana and whether or not he trusts her. Papa doesn’t explain to Pastor Ezekiel why he asks these questions, but it after he saw Tatiana being a bit flirty with Jake at his Halloween party. Nonetheless, his inquiries end with a rather tense moment between Papa and Pastor Ezekiel.

Elsewhere, Britney comes clean to Maisha and Jemma about Douda paying her to spy on Bakari, Jake experiences some frustrations in his relationship-on-the-side with Tatiana, Maisha steps aside from music to explore photography, Keisha keeps it real with Nuk, Darnell tells Emmett to give another person a job at Smokey’s, and Nina rekindles an old flame with a past lover.

Let’s dive into a recap of the fourteenth episode in The Chi season six with a few takeaways we have after watching “Smoke & Mirrors.”

Emmett And Nuk’s Issues Are Connected To Their Lack Of Respect For Each Other

Emmett and Nuk never seem to get along, but that didn’t matter to either of them as they rarely had to interact with each other. All of that’s changed now that it’s confirmed that Nuk is Lil’ Ronnie’s biological father. In the flash of an eye, Nuk is now in Emmett’s family circle, showing up unexpectedly to take Ronnie trick or treating, disrupting the established family dynamic. Emmett assumes Nuk is ignorant to some extent and tries to set him straight, but Nuk isn’t having it as he thinks Emmett is beneath him. That’s exactly where the issue lies between the two: they don’t respect each other. They both share the common interest of doing what’s best for Ronnie, but their stubbornness and egos are getting in the way of them seeing that in one another. As with most things like this, it may take a scare of some sorts for them to finally set aside their differences and grow up.

Britney Couldn’t Have Seen This Playing Out Any Differently

We’d have to assume that since Britney was born and raised in Chicago, that she was somewhat aware Douda’s rep and history around the city. With that being said, there’s no way she thought a deal like the one she struck with Douda would end with her somehow not living up to the end of her bargain with him and not betraying her brother. Yet, here we are. Britney confesses her deal with Douda to Maisha and Jemma and the two girls are in shock. The timing of her confession isn’t surprising as Bakari figured out that Britney was the one who told Douda about his book, which resulted in Douda violently breaking Bakari’s laptop. There’s no way Britney gets out of this without facing some type of repercussion from either Douda, Bakari, or both of them. At this point, it’s a matter of which person is worth pissing off (more than she has already) more than the other.

Victor’s Free! But At What Cost?

For the better part of two episode in The Chi<,/em> season six, Victor scrambled to figure out what to do as he was hit with a murder charge for the shooting death of Quentin, Alicia’s brother and Rob’s uncle. The murder was actually done by Douda, but Victor helped to get rid of the body, which is how he got roped into the murder case. To his surprise in “Smoke & Mirrors,” the murder case get dismissed thanks to a Brady violation. Victor later figures out that Alicia had something to do with it and he recalls a prior conversation with Shad who said Victor needed Alicia’s help. Well, he got it, but at what cost? No favors go without being repaid for Alicia, so we can be sure that Victor will be left with another tough decision to make thanks to Alicia.

Douda And Alicia’s Power Struggle Has Reached Its Climax

Speaking of Alicia, she brought her cold war with Douda to his front step by paying him a visit at his lounge and bar. In a tense conversation with Douda, Alicia acknowledged that she sent Rob to kill Douda before warning him that his workers will be turning on him soon. Douda lashes out and chokes Alicia, but that doesn’t last long as Shad appears with a gun point straight to Douda’s head. The war that we were promised at the beginning of The Chi season 6, part 2 is finally here, and with just episodes left in the season, we can expect its events and conclusion to be explosive.

‘The Chi’ season 6, part 2 is now streaming on Paramount+ with SHOWTIME. Seasons 1-5 as well as season 6, part 1 are available now to stream on Paramount+ with SHOWTIME

The Cleveland Cavaliers could be one of the more fascinating teams in the NBA this summer. They are one of a few teams still without a head coach for next year, and their core group could be very much in flux after a second round exit at the hands of the Boston Celtics.

Donovan Mitchell is eligible for a 4-year extension worth more than $200 million, which the Cavs will assuredly offer him, and his decision will have a ripple effect. If he declines to sign, the Cavs will have to explore trade options so they don’t lose him next summer for nothing. If he stays, Darius Garland’s representatives are expected to ask the Cavaliers to find him a new home via trade — although the Cavs don’t seem too in a rush to trade the former All-Star guard. Their star backcourt isn’t the only pairing that could get broken up, as there are real questions about how Jarrett Allen and Evan Mobley fit together.

Allen would be a highly sought after big man on the trade market if he became available, particularly at $20 million per year for two more years. However, despite most believing Mobley’s long-term future is at center, the Cavs apparently have to consider locker room politics when it comes to how they maneuver this summer. Per Marc Stein, Mitchell is a big fan of Allen’s and would like him to remain in Cleveland.

One reason I’ve heard for the Cavaliers’ reported reluctance to trade Jarrett Allen despite ongoing questions about Allen’s fit in the same frontcourt alongside the emerging Evan Mobley: Donovan Mitchell is often described as an Allen fan who doesn’t want to lose him as a teammate.

It’s not a surprise Allen would be a favorite of Mitchell’s. He’s very helpful cleaning up mistakes on defense at the rim and is the Cavs best screener, helping free up some space for Mitchell. However, Mobley started to show strides in the playoffs when he wasn’t playing next to Allen, and the spacing crunch of having two non-shooting bigs is just really hard to make work.

That creates a bit of a conundrum in Cleveland. Trading Allen paves the way for Mobley to be the center of the present and future, while also probably giving them a good chance of creating better floor balance and spacing, even at the cost of his rim protection, screening, and finishing. If they don’t move him, their options for upgrades on the roster would require them to move one of Garland and/or Mobley, and the Cavs haven’t seemed too keen to really explore those avenues just yet.

They certainly could choose hold onto Allen until Mitchell has signed and then explore their options for a trade, but we have enough recent examples of guys requesting trades after signing an extension to know that getting pen to paper is only the beginning of keeping a star in town long-term. We’ll start finding out how the Cavs plan to proceed in the coming weeks, and Mitchell’s extension will be the first domino to fall. If he signs, Allen might get taken off the table (or at least, cost a lot to pry out of Cleveland), and the Cavs will have to decide whether they’re just going to run it back one more year or trade one of their young stars.

Spoilers for House of the Dragon season two, episode one “A Son for a Son” below.

House of the Dragon’s season two premiere delivered a cold-blooded message to audiences wondering just how far the show was willing to go to faithfully adapt George R.R. Martin’s Fire & Blood novel.

In “A Son for a Son,” the catalyst for war between the Blacks and the Greens ended up being the casualty of a failed assassination plot as a ratcatcher named Cheese and a trusted Gold Cloak guard carried out the murderous orders of Daemon Targaryen (Matt Smith). As payback for the death of her son Lucerys, Rhaenrya (Emma D’Arcy) demands revenge against her brother, Aemond (Ewan Mitchell), something her king consort readily delivers by sneaking into King’s Landing and paying for the services of the two men. Despite initially calling for Aemond’s head, Daemon’s phrase “a son for a son” fuels the shocking murder of Prince Jaehaerys, the eldest son of King Aegon (Tom Glynn-Carney) who is introduced earlier in the episode.

The brutal Sophie’s Choice that plays out in the queen’s tower is spiritually faithful to Martin’s original work, but showrunner Ryan Condal wanted to avoid the sins of Game Of Thrones slayings past by making key changes to the all-important scene.

“We just didn’t want to be gratuitous about it,” Condal tells UPROXX. “I don’t say this lightly, but it is a very cruel sequence. It’s horrific. However you cut it, forgive the term, but we didn’t want it to be outrageously cruel or just beyond the pale.”

In the book, the murder is told primarily via Helaena’s (Phia Saban) account as she takes her children to visit her mother, Queen Alicent (Olivia Cooke) before they go to bed. Blood & Cheese, unable to find Aemond or reach Aegon, purposefully make their way to the tower, killing a maid and holding Alicent hostage as they force Helaena to choose between her two sons (both of whom are awake and aware of what’s happening), threatening to rape her daughter if she doesn’t comply.

On the screen, Condal chose to set a different tone.

“The way we approached it was essentially to make it feel like a heist-sequence gone wrong,” he explains. “Instead of telling it through Helaena’s perspective, we decided to tell it through this perspective of Blood and Cheese, knowing that the audience was going to feel a shift at that point in the narrative. We’re telling this very… not predictable, but I think traditional season opener — here are the players on the board, here’s how everything’s changed. Alicent’s pissed [off] her sons, Rhaenyra’s in grief and Daemon’s looking for revenge. We feel this piece is starting to be moved into place, and then suddenly, we’re following these two characters that we’ve just met.”

Both men are easily bribed to murder with the Gold Cloak harboring a particular dislike for House Hightower, but neither are adept at killing quietly. Cheese, the ratcatcher, is unsure of the layout of the castle, ready to renege on his deal with Daemon in fear they might get caught while Blood is determined to deliver someone’s head to his master. As the sequence goes on, the tension builds.

“It’s not one scene, it’s two scenes, it’s three scenes and oh, we’re not cutting back. We’re not cutting away, oh God, what’s going to happen?” Condal says of his thinking while editing the episode. “We’re trusting our very seasoned TV audience to know that this is taking us to something that’s going to be horrible and unexpected, and living in the suspense of that, making everybody feel that and almost overstaying our welcome to a point where people are just sitting on the edge of the seat wondering what’s going to happen next.”

The episode ends with Helaena forced to make a terrible choice, one that also differs slightly from the book. There, she marked her youngest son for death, reasoning her eldest was more important in the line of succession. The pair still murdered Prince Jaehaerys, but Helaena and her youngest son were forced to live with the knowledge she had originally picked him to die. While the showrunner wasn’t as cruel in his depiction, Saban still gave a hauntingly restrained performance, giving Helaena a depth and maternal instinct audiences likely hadn’t seen before.

“I’ve seen it a hundred times at this point,” Condal said of the scene. “It still gets me every single time.”

New ‘House of the Dragon’ episodes air on HBO (and stream on Max) on Sunday nights.

The internet’s little dragon show is back and bloodier than ever.

In its season two premiere, House of the Dragon sets fire to any preconceived notions of what this George R.R. Martin prequel is meant to be.

Two years gone from a finale that managed to shock and awe the most battle-hardened of Game of Thrones fans, the series wastes no time in setting its board and moving its pawns towards a vicious civil war that feels all but inevitable (despite the best efforts of the few women afforded council seats here). “A Son for a Son” welcomes fans back to Westeros with a (thankfully) small time jump, raising armies and murdering any hope of reconciliation between its warring Houses even as it languishes in the very human emotions of its god-like rulers. Sure, they command fire-breathing weapons of mass destructions, but if HotD is here to prove anything it’s that powerful people are still just people, ruled by pettiness and greed and volatile emotions that can raze a kingdom if left unchecked.

Picking up just days after Aemond Targaryen (Ewan Mitchell) killed his cousin at Storm’s End, an “accident” that has thrown the realm into chaos, HotD is quick to remind fans of its stakes. A new king sits on the usurped throne at the Red Keep, a grieving mother and rightful heir plots her revenge, Northmen are being recruited to the cause, and dragonseeds are subtly planted, hinting at bigger ambitions for the show’s later episodes.

From failed assassinations and the court intrigue of King’s Landing to journeys to Winterfell and a fracturing at Dragonstone, here are the biggest takeaways from House of the Dragon’s season two premiere.

The Introduction Of Cregan Stark

How does one build a 700-foot wall of ice meant to ward off death itself? Sadly, that’s not a question with an answer in the season two premiere, but fans missing the bone-chilling climate and Northern brogue of House Stark probably won’t mind. (Who cares about physics if it means a return to Jon Snow’s old stomping grounds?) Prince Jacaerys (Harry Collett) has made the trip to Winterfell to treat with Lord Cregan Stark (Tom Taylor), reminding him of his oath to his mother, Rhaenyra as he tests his own ability to command his House’s bannermen in the war to come. Choosing to open the episode away from the action down South feels deliberate on showrunner Ryan Condal’s part, a message that HotD intends to expand its borders, roping more of Westeros into the drama that was previously contained to the walls of the Red Keep in season one.

Alyn Of Hull And The Sea Snake Meet

In the waning episodes of season one, Lord Corlys Velaryon (Steve Toussaint) seemed marked for death. A battle at sea had left him gravely wounded, opening the door for his brother to challenge Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) for her claim to Driftmark – a petition that ended with Daemon Targaryen (Matt Smith) relieving him of his head. Season two’s premiere quickly settles the question of Corlys’ fate, showing him injured, limping, yet very much alive as his crew works to make his ship seaworthy once more. One dock worker, a sailor known as Alyn of Hull (Abubakar Salim) identifies himself as the man who saved Corlys, pulling him from the wreckage and bringing him back to Driftmark, a feat the Lord of the Tides intends to thank him for. Book readers know there’s more to Alyn than meets the eye, but we’ll avoid any spoilers other than to mark Salim’s character as a major player in the game to come.

Alicent And Criston Cole’s Affair

Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooke) and Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel) are fully on their hypocritical bullsh*t in season two, banging it out on every surface of the Red Keep as they plot to keep Rhaenyra’s stolen throne. (If therapists existed in Westeros, they’d truly have a field day with these two and their shared obsession with the Black’s Queen.) Their coupling comes as a bit of a shock, but unfortunately for both Alicent and Criston, secret trysts in King’s Landing never stay secret for long and the season two premiere is quick to point out just how precarious their “romance” is. There’s no way it can stay under wraps for much longer, especially as Cole continues to shirk his duties and worm his way to power via Alicent’s sons, but if we’re being honest, their shared karma can’t come soon enough. It’s enough that children are being murdered and Matt Smith is back in our least-favorite wig – don’t make us watch these two orgasm on screen.

Daemon and Aemond Eye Harrenhaal

Sons are a running theme in House of the Dragon. Kings desire them, mothers mourn them, but while the first-borns get all the glory, the second-born sons in Martin’s canon are the real drama queens. They’re out here causing chaos with their unresolved mommy issues and crippling sense of inadequacy and sure, it’s all going to lead to the downfall of a kingdom, but it’s also going to make for some great television. So thank you Daemon for being a power-hungry husband who refuses to give his niece-turned-wife even a moment to grieve the death of her son before making a play for her throne. And thanks to Aemond, a grown man who got so fed up with wearing an eye-patch he decided to murder a boy then use that death to become the walking endorsement for “all press is good press.” Here’s hoping the haunted halls of Harrenhaal give you the warm welcome you both deserve.

The Hand Loses Control

Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans) is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day in HotD’s season two premiere which should be good news to all you karma doubters out there. He’s managed to maneuver his bloodline atop a throne that doesn’t belong to him and yet, as close as he is to that power, it’s not his ass that’s really in the seat, something Aegon (Tom Glynn-Carney) is quick to remind him of in this episode. It’s almost comical how desperately he tries to be a voice a reason to an emotionally stunted drunkard with absolute power, considering the safer, smarter choice would’ve been to follow his king’s wishes and put Rhaenrya on the throne, but then again, greed is a funny thing. It gives you everything you want and nothing you’re prepared for.

The (Failed?) Blood And Cheese Plot

One of the joys of watching House of the Dragon is seeing how its writers adapt the complex, sometimes dull cannon of Martin’s Fire & Blood novel. While the book is a drawn out history lesson told by unreliable narrators, on-screen, Condal and company twist and shape the narrative to become a fascinating character study. Even the most intense, action-heavy sequences are grounded in human emotion, something that makes the long-awaited translation of Martin’s Blood & Cheese chapter all the more thrilling. Here, it’s a heist-gone-wrong, a bungling of a poorly-planned revenge plot carried out by a rat catcher and a Gold Cloak motivated by greed and blood lust. These two men are amateur assassins, paid by Daemon to bring him the head of a son – preferably Aemond’s but Matt Smith’s mischievous smirk tells us any boy’s noggin will do. Instead of overplaying things with too much blood and gore and violence, the show ignites a war with a silent atrocity – the beheading of a child as its mother looks on in horror. Phia Saban (Helaena) has been underutilized on this show until this point, but it’s her restraint here that makes the death of Prince Jaehaerys and its immediate aftermath so nightmarish.

That’s all for this week. Check back for our thoughts on next week’s episode!

New ‘House of the Dragon’ episodes air on HBO (and stream on Max) on Sunday nights.

(House of the Dragon spoilers will be found below.)

Way back in October 2022, HBO’s Game of Thrones prequel delivered an uncomfortable moment when Larys Strong pleasured himself while staring at Queen Alicent’s exposed feet. There’s no shame in having a foot fetish, of course, but Alicent clearly was not into it, and that’s apparently part of what turned Larys on (it certainly wasn’t the exchange of information that excited him), which gave viewers the ick. This led to plenty of questions directed toward Olivia Cooke and Matthew Needham with the latter first asserting that the scene was “misunderstood” before later noting that a deleted scene provided a bit more context (but not an excuse) for what Larys did.

Fast forward to the second season premiere of the Targaryen-studded drama, and Alicent has found herself in a scene that’s giving similar vibes. This doesn’t have anything to do with ick over consent because she’s clearly enjoying being — cough — serviced by Ser Criston Cole. What does feel scandalous, however, is that King Viserys has only been dead for about ten days, though who knows how long this has been happening? Also, Criston Cole rolled out of the first season looking like a bitter incel while holding a grudge against Rhaenyra for refusing his marriage proposal. Now, he and Alicent can’t keep their hands off each other, which presents… issues (to say the very least).

Back in 2022, Olivia Cooke sort-of forecast (while speaking to Variety) the “simmering undertones of something” while noting that Criston is “a virile man, and that’s the only version she has ever had in her life.” Well, now we know where that has ended up.

Let’s just say that viewers weren’t ready for this reintroduction to both characters. “Disgust in High Valyrian” is only the beginning.

And this tweet is a few days old and, therefore, out of context, but it still works for this occasion.

HBO’s House of the Dragon airs on Sundays at 9:00pm EST.