As any couples therapist will tell you, continuing to go out on dates with our spouses is of course crucial in a marriage. But those lowkey nights of cuddling on the couch and just peacefully coexisting with one another is just as important, and just as rewarding.
This specific kind of domestic bliss was recently captured perfectly by a married woman who goes by @them_yangs on TikTok. In her video, she and her husband are wrapped up in a blanket—her with a glass of wine and a tablet for reading, him looking intently at a TV screen while playing a video game. Each perfectly content to just hang out with one another.
This was something that the woman’s friend apparently could not comprehend.
“I told my friend the other night I couldn’t go out with her because I was hanging out with my husband,” she explained. “And honestly she was confused. She was like ‘Oh, you’re going on a date with your husband?’ And I said ‘No, we’re just hanging out. I’m going to read, he’s going to play Zelda, we’re gonna drink wine on the couch. We’re just hanging out.’ And she could not understand the concept of hanging out with my husband. And I said ‘Don’t you hang out with your husband?’ and she said ‘No!’ and that made me sad.”
Though this wife’s friend couldn’t fathom what made this hangout so special, other viewers certainly understood.
“Just existing with your partner doing your own things is so soothing,” one person wrote.
Another echoed, “Being able to hang out with your partner is top tier relationships goals.”
Others shared what their own version of spouse hangouts look like.
One person said, “Sometimes I sit on the phone with my sister for HOURS while we play our own games or do our own things because it’s nice to just have company and vibe even over the phone.”
A few argued for the necessity of nurturing friendship outside the marriage, too, as to not make partners the end-all, be-all relationship.
“I can hang out almost any day with my SO,” one viewer wrote. “So if a friend invited me somewhere I will go out and then hang out with SO another night.”
While that’s a fair point to make, we can’t assume that this woman doesn’t also have healthy relationships with her friends. Nor can we assume that this woman is saying that she spends every night this way. What she is saying, and what we can all take away from, is the importance of true friendship within a romantic partnership. Whether or not your partner is your best friend is probably up to personal preference. But hopefully they are a friend that you enjoy spending leisurely time with.
Couples can also take solace in the fact that date nights need not always be extravagant evenings of painting the town red. Enjoying each other’s company can take on many different forms.