Overhearing someone talking negatively about you behind your back can be devastating, but hearing someone talk about you positively can be life-changing in the best way. Especially, perhaps, when that someone is your mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are known for being a mixed bag, with some being notoriously filled with conflict and fault-finding. But one mother-in-law’s secret habit of letting her daughter-in-law eavesdrop on her when she thinks she accidently forgot to hang up the phone has people cheering her thoughtfulness.
In response to the question, “What secret are you currently hiding from someone that you’re willing to share on Reddit?” user Kindly-Article-9357 wrote:
“I’ve started to on occasion ‘accidentally’ (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law.
I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.
She doesn’t have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down.”
“I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I ‘really’ thought of her, expecting the worst because that’s been her experience of family.
Apparently, she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.
So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I’m getting old and worse at managing my tech.”
People loved how the woman went out of her way to not only let her daughter-in-law know she thinks she’s great but to do it in a way that might truly make her believe it. Having someone praise you to your face is great, but hearing it from someone who doesn’t know you’re listening just hits different.
“Years ago we called my parents to tell them we were expecting our 2nd child. My dad failed to hang up when the call ended and I heard him tell my mom how glad he was to get the news because we were such good parents. I have NEVER forgotten that sweet affirmation that wouldn’t have hit as true if he had said it TO me.”
“Similarly, I talk about my 7 year old to my friends and family and discuss how amazing he is. He can be all the way in his room but I know he’s listening (he’s nosey). I can tell it boosts his confidence. It’s one thing to tell someone directly, but it hits different when you’re ear hustling.”
“I once heard, ‘Kids think about themselves based on how we talk about them. What they hear is what they believe.’ I think each of us has an inner kid that feels the same, to some extent. And I’m sure her inner kid needed to hear those things.”
“My boyfriend did this accidentally one day at work…he and I both forgot to hang up and I heard him talking to his coworker, I was afraid I’d hear something I didn’t like not that he has ever spoken ill abt me to anyone I just have low self esteem..but he went on to tell his buddy how smart I am, how I just know all sorts of neat and interesting facts how I teach him something new everyday and I just melted I tried yelling into the phone to tell him I love him but obvs he couldn’t hear lol its the lil things in life that I cling to most.”
“I do this any time people leave a conversation. Just before they leave the room, I say to the rest of the group, ‘I love hanging out with XX’ or ‘XX is just so nice.’ Or when someone is leaving the car, you do it right before they close the door.”
It’s a good reminder to talk positively about people whether they’re around or not. Only good can come from lifting others up, especially when they weren’t even meant to hear it in the first place.