Relationships are as old as time itself. And nearly all of them have awkward beginnings. For men, there is often the expectation of taking action. You can’t go too far without crossing ethical boundaries but if you’re not assertive enough, good luck waiting to be swept off your feet. And for women, well, let’s not even get started. As simple as love and attraction may appear on the surface, in practice they are anything but.
If it’s a man approaching a woman, oftentimes the woman is unsure how the interaction will end should she not be interested. There are all sorts of reasons for apprehension on the woman’s part that some men looking to court may not fully understand. But one woman has taken to social media to share her excitement over a “new way of hitting on women,” which may help ease concerns. The woman goes by the name Tee Rex on Instagram and eagerly tells viewers from her car about an experience she just had.
“I just got hit on and I hate getting hit on but the way that this person hit on me was immaculate and I want to share because I feel like men are doing a tough, there’s a lot of hate going towards men who are literally just trying to find love,” the woman says.
She explains that he did “the normal thing” when men hit on women but immediately after asking for her phone number, the man says, “I am safe to reject.”
“Just taking the extra steps to make a woman feel safe and respected goes a long way (sadly) so I’m glad you had this experience vs the far too common unsafe experience,” one commenter said in response.
“Wow impressive and I would be even more impressed because he’s also demonstrating he has self worth enough not to lose it if he is rejected. Good quality,” another woman praises.
“I thought this was going to be another bullsh*t tip… but I’m definitely adding this to my arsenal,” one man writes.
Some men took the time to explain the concept to other men who are skeptical.
“Fellas if you haven’t heard numbers of stories about how dudes be aggressive and retaliatory when getting rejected, you’re living under a rock. A woman was recently murdered for this (not the first). The problem is we take this personally and it might seem ludicrous because some of us ourselves know that we’re not like that. That still doesn’t dismiss the fact that it happens A LOT to the point women have to plot ways of avoiding it. But this is social media, we gotta be contrary lol,” one man explains.
“Crazy the number of dudes who see this as self-deprecating vs a reflection of both his social awareness and self-confidence. And for those who see this as defeatist – is it really a win if she’s only not saying no because she’s AFRAID,” another man asks.
While saying the exact phrase, “I am safe to reject” may not be everyone’s ideal line, if a man knows he wouldn’t pose a risk to women after being rejected, it wouldn’t hurt to put that out front.
Several men in the comments shared that they say things like, “It’s cool if you say no” or “No pressure to say yes.” These small phrases give women who may be feeling afraid from past experiences a sense of relief and the room to give an honest answer.
This article originally appeared on 5.3.24