Year: 2024

Proving that science and religion can, in fact, overlap, University of British Columbia researcher Evan Thompson has confirmed the Buddhist teaching of the not-self, or “anatta,” is more than just a theory.

“Buddhists argue that nothing is constant, everything changes through time, you have a constantly changing stream of consciousness,” he tells Quartz. “And from a neuroscience perspective, the brain and body is constantly in flux. There’s nothing that corresponds to the sense that there’s an unchanging self.”

---

This reality that nothing stays the same should be liberating, because if people believe it, they’ll no longer define themselves by their thoughts or be limited by a fixed idea of who they are. Their possibilities will be endless.

Buddhist Monks have known for thousands of years what science is just now learning: the mind can be changed by training it. Neuroplasticity, as it’s called, endows people with the ability to grow and evolve, triumphing over bad habits and becoming more like the individuals they want to be.

Discover & share this Big GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

Still, exactly how consciousness relates to the brain eludes both Buddhism and neuroscience. Buddhists suppose there’s an iteration of consciousness that doesn’t require a physical body; neuroscientists disagree.

“In neuroscience, you’ll often come across people who say the self is an illusion created by the brain,” Thompson says. “My view is that the brain and the body work together in the context of our physical environment to create a sense of self. And it’s misguided to say that just because it’s a construction, it’s an illusion.”

This article originally appeared on 09.23.17

Categories are great for some things: biology, herbs, and spices, for example.

Image via

But bodies? Well, putting bodies into categories just gets weird. There are around 300 million people in America, but only 12 or so standard sizes for clothing: extra-extra-small through 5x.

That’s why designer Mallorie Dunn is onto something with her belief — people have different bodies and sizing isn’t catching up.

Dunn has found that the majority of clothing sizes stop at an extra-large, yet the majority of women in America are over that. “And that just doesn’t make sense,” she says.

All images via Smart Glamor, used with permission.

Human spice rack, only, a LOT more variations of flava. 😉

---

That’s why she started a project around her clothing label, Smart Glamour, to document the bodies of models according to their sizes — and to show how one size can look very different on different bodies.

In pursuit of creating a fashion environment that’s kinder to all bodies, Dunn has dedicated herself to educating consumers about sizing.

First, she found 60 people of 12 different sizes and took their pictures.

Then, she put five women at a time in the same size of skirt and shirt to show how diversely beautiful human bodies are and to prove that everyone looks different in clothes no matter what size they have on.

She hoped to show people that 12 sizes don’t even come close to capturing the beauty of the human form.

All these models are wearing the same size … but do they look the same?

“No matter what size you are that’s not what dictates your worth or your beauty.”

“I had a convo with a friend of mine who was like ‘Yeah, if I went from a medium to a large, I’d be fine with it, but if I went from a large to an extra-large, that wouldn’t be OK’ and I was like, ‘Why???’ And she had no rational reason behind that,” Dunn said, describing a conversation we’ve all either had, started, or heard. “We’ve been taught forever that the bigger something sounds, the worse that it is.”

Dunn’s project also shows just how arbitrary and narrow-minded clothing sizes are.

Sizes really are just numbers.

Unlike the images we are presented both in clothing ads and in entertainment and media, human beings aren’t, as Dunn remarked, “robots who come out on a conveyor belt … we’re all shaped differently.”

The pressure to look one way is obnoxious. And kinda dangerous.

“We’ve been taught forever that the bigger something sounds, the worse that it is.”

There’s so much weight — no pun intended — on being the “right” size.

“You put an ‘extra’ on top of a ‘large,’ and suddenly it’s the end of the world,” Dunn said of her experience in fashion sizing. “… And it really doesn’t mean anything, it really only means that there’s an extra inch of fabric.”

One extra inch of fabric.

3 in 4 girls report feeling depressed, guilty, or shameful after just three minutes of leafing through a fashion mag.

But I’d like to imagine a world where everyone can try on clothes and leave the emotional burden of worrying about fit to the clothes.

Instead, let’s focus on what looks good on our bodies. Let the clothes handle the emotional roller coaster of not fitting, and you just live your life in the body you’ve been given.

Dunn, who has worked for fashion houses for her whole career, puts it bluntly: “Clothes are not made for all bodies. … We shouldn’t then think when something doesn’t fit us that it’s somehow our fault.”

Dunn’s models also have a group on Facebook where they support each other, compliment each other, and generally lift each other up. Model Stephanie describes it this way: “We see the beauty in one another and help each other to recognize our own beauty at the same time.” Fashion leading to body optimism and confidence? Yes, please.

And Dunn herself drives a hard line when it comes to feeling good in the skin you’ve been given. Her philosophy is this: No matter what size you are, that’s not what dictates your worth or your beauty.

Self-worth not based on appearances. That’s a category we can all aspire to “fit” into!

This article originally appeared on 07.27.16

I was promoted a few weeks ago, which was great. I got a lot of nice notes from friends, family, customers, partners, and random strangers, which was exciting.

But it wasn’t long until a note came in saying, “Everyone knows you got the position because you’re a girl.” In spite of having a great week at a great company with great people whom I love, that still stung, because it’s not the first time I’ve heard it.

---

Every woman who works in tech — heck, likely every woman on Earth — hears “because you’re a girl” dozens, if not thousands, of times in her life.

It starts young, of course:

Why can’t I join that team? Because you’re a girl.

Why can’t I study physics? Because you’re a girl.

Then, the comments age with you.

Why can’t I manage that project? Because you’re a girl.

Why can’t I join that group? Because you’re a girl.

And after you’ve reached any level of attainment in a profession you love, the comments are used to minimize your success.

Why did you get that award? Because you’re a girl.

Why were you chosen to participate in that class? Because you’re a girl.

Like so many women before me, I have shaken off the comment.

I’ve gotten angry. I’ve gotten sad. I’ve doubted myself and my abilities. I’ve ignored it entirely. I’ve challenged it. I’ve recruited support from men and women I respect. Yet every time it stays there in the back of my mind, screaming for attention after every failure or setback.

But today is the day I’ve decided to change that.

I did, in fact, get the job because I’m a girl.

A girl who was called “bossy” growing up.

A girl who wasn’t afraid to play with the boys.

A girl who didn’t hesitate to raise her hand if she knew the answer.

A girl who stood up for other kids.

A girl who was always the first one to volleyball practice and the last to leave.

A girl who was told she was too assertive and aggressive to advance in her career.

A girl who went to MIT anyway.

A girl who asked her company to do more on diversity and inclusion and won’t stop pushing until it’s truly remarkable.

A girl who has made big mistakes, both personal and professional.

A girl who swings for the fences even when no one is watching.

A girl who puts in hours when other people are asleep

A girl who tells young girls how smart and strong they are.

A girl who hates to lose.

And a girl who won’t stand silently while people still use “because you’re a girl” as any limitation for girls who want to grow, challenge the status quo, and be something, anything, greater than society tells them they could or should.

So yeah. I guess you could say I got my job because I’m a girl, but not for any of the reasons you might think.

This story first appeared on the author’s Medium and is reprinted here with permission.

This article originally appeared on 04.14.17

Double H Canine Academy in Louisville, Kentucky is a place where dog owners can take their rambunctious pets and have them turned into respectable members of the family.

However, as you can tell in this hilarious video, not all dogs are meant to follow orders.

---

Ladies and gentleman, meet Ryker.

Double H Canine Training Academy… Epic Service Dog Training Failure

Ryker giving it his all before flunking our of Service Dog Training School

As you can see below, Ryker is living his life to the fullest. While he may never be the world’s greatest service dog, he continues to provide an invaluable testament to being true to one’s self.

RYKER “The Purpose Driven Dog”🐕……..

This article originally appeared on 02.26.20

We’ve seen some moving America’s Got Talent stories before, but a recent viral audition absolutely requires a tissue warning. I tried to steel myself in preparation when I saw the “Admit it, we were *all* in tears after this” caption on the Facebook share of it, but I failed.

In a video that’s been shared more than 95,000 times, the “Britain’s Got Talent” audition shows two tiny little girls onstage with their grandmother. They introduce themselves as “Cally” (age 4) and “Savannah” (age 3) and “Nanny” (their “daddy’s mummy”) then the girls share that they are there to surprise their dad.

Dad—also known as Nick Edwards—is sitting in the audience. He thought the family was there to watch the audition on a fun outing; he had no idea that they had arranged a surprise audition for him, so when his girls and mom showed up on stage, he wondered what was going on.

---

A “Britain’s Got Talent” spokesperson explained to the Daily Mail how they got Edwards mic’d up without giving away the surprise.

“When Nick entered the Palladium auditorium during ‘BGT’ auditions, he was approached to be part of our ‘gogglebox’ audience and told he would be mic’d up so we could capture his reactions throughout the day as he sat in the audience,” they said. “He was totally unsuspecting. We did this so we could mic him up without him suspecting a thing.”

As Edwards tried to figure out what his mom and daughters were doing on stage, Edwards’ mother explained to the judges and the audience that he sings a special song to his girls. She said they wanted him to come up and sing it. Naturally, not being prepared for an audition, Edwards was stunned. But the judges sent him backstage to “grab a glass of water” so he could compose himself and get ready.

“They gave me some time to warm up—about 45 minutes in total,” Edwards told This Morning. “They gave me my guitar my family brought down on the day, they [producers] said this is the song we want you to sing because we’d seen it on your Instagram.”

The song is an emotional doozy, especially if you’re a parent. “It’s a song I’ve felt quite attached to so I sing it a lot around the house,” Edwards told the judges before he started to sing. Once you hear it, you’ll see why he joked about trying to keep from crying while he sang it.

Lovely voice. Beautiful song. Adorable little girls. Not a dry eye in the house.

Tissue, seriously. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The fact that Edwards was able to pull off that audition with less than an hour of preparation was quite impressive. He told This Morning what he was thinking during that prep time.

“If I go out I’ve got two options here, I either go out and try to own it or I come out and it all crumbles…” he said. “The whole thing just went so quickly. I do remember playing and in a way my fingers started to get a bit jelly, I remember thinking ‘this is going to be a big moment for you.’ I don’t want to stuff it up.”

Stuff it up he did not. What a lovely performance, and what lucky little girls to have a daddy who shares his love for them in such a beautiful and creative way.

This article originally appeared on 04.22.22

Shortly after leaving the Punta Arenas airport, our van driver points out the window and says in a distinct Chilean accent, “That’s where the Pacific meets the Atlantic.” Gazing out at the Strait of Magellan, which I’d only ever seen on a map, it hits home that we are farther south than 99.9% of the Earth’s population—quite literally at the end of the inhabited world. Five hours later, after passing herds of emus, flamingoes and guanacos (a relative of llamas), we reach Torres Del Paine National Park, the crown jewel of Chilean Patagonia.

I live in the Pacific Northwest and am no stranger to beautiful places, but Patagonia is on another level. One person here called it “savage beauty,” which is a perfect description—raw and rugged mountains, glaciers, lakes, forests, and prairieland on all sides at all times, with barely a sign of civilization. Torres Del Paine offers up close views of Grey Glacier, part of the Southern Patagonia Ice Field, the third largest freshwater reserve on Earth.

Grey Glacier, part of the Southern Patagonia Ice FieldsPhotos by Annie Reneau

If there’s any place that’ll make you fall head over heels for our gorgeous planet, it’s Patagonia.

---

I’ve come to Torres Del Paine National Park to witness this beauty and to see how Las Torres Patagonia’s “10 Volunteers for 10 Days” ecotourism contest played out. Las Torres is a privately owned reserve nestled inside the national park, and as part of their ongoing sustainability efforts, they are rebuilding a hiking trail that leads to the park’s iconic granite towers. Las Torres offered 10 voluntourists the opportunity to visit the reserve and help work on the trail. I accompanied the winners during the second week of April—peak autumn color time—to see firsthand why sustainable trail-building matters.

First, I got to experience the old trail, a 12.5 miles (20 km) round-trip hike to and from Base Torres, the base of the towers. It’s not easy, requiring a trek up and down 3,000 feet in elevation, but it is absolutely stunning. Imagine being surrounded by scenery like this with the occasional majestic Andean condor soaring overhead:

The hike takes you up mountainsides, through forests, across rivers, past waterfalls and finally up a steep boulder climb.

The trek ends at three huge granite towers flanked by a glacier with a bright turquoise lake greeting you like a scene from another planet. This is Base Torres.

The Base Torres trail is one of the most popular hikes in the park, and it sees a good percentage of the 250,000 visitors who visit Torres Del Paine each year. The problem is, it was never meant to be a hiking trail in the first place. Carved decades ago by cattle ranchers on horseback, the trail was created before the national park without any real thought to sustainability. Both human use and natural erosion have badly damaged the trail, making it incompatible with the protection and preservation of the natural landscape.

The goal is to make the trail both sustainable and accessible, minimizing human impact on the land while still allowing people to enjoy the park. I had no idea what went into creating a sustainable trail, but there’s a lot, from slope to drainage to impact on natural vegetation. Patagonia’s weather plays a big role in erosion as well, with strong winds and snowy winters that have to be taken into consideration. The new trail takes a different path than the old one, with a more gradual ascent and more up-close views of the Ascencio Valley and river, and offers a wider and more comfortable climb.

The trail rebuild is a huge, collaborative project between Las Torres, the park, international conservation and trail experts (such as Shuswap Trail Alliance and Conservation VIP) and others. For the past two years, both professional crews and volunteers have done the slow, manual labor required to build a trail in the wilderness, and there’s still a ways to go.

“It’s a colossal job. We need all the help we can get,” Las Torres CEO Josian Yaksik tells me. The Las Torres Reserve has belonged to Yaksik’s family for several generations, starting as a small, independent farm and growing into a multi-faceted business tied to the national park. Yaksik emphasizes that Las Torres takes responsible stewardship of the land seriously, protecting Patagonia while helping people enjoy it. That commitment becomes more and more apparent the more time I spend talking with the people who live and work on the reserve.

As I learn about the trail project and other sustainability efforts of Las Torres, I’m struck by how their conservation work is driven by two key elements of success: caring and collaboration. Conservation isn’t a political talking point here; it’s a way of life inspired by caring for such a beautiful place. And that genuine love for the land fuels a shared vision that invites collective action. Back home, we tend to place responsibility largely on the backs of individuals and their individual choices. Here, it’s clear that collaborative efforts aren’t seen as just nice to have, but rather must-haves in creating a unified system of sustainability.

The volunteers who worked on the trail noted that as well.

“It was eye opening to see how Las Torres along with the other organizations involved took something that is a big task and most hikers don’t blink an eye at, and said this is unacceptable and that they are going to change it,” shares Amanda Bjorge, a contest winner from Minnesota. “Seeing the trail that Las Torres and AMA [a non-profit NGO helping with the trail rebuild] are working on, the difference is astonishing. While the old trail is clearly a horse path, the new trail is made with so much careful thought and calculation into not just who will be traveling on it, but the effect that the elements may have on it.”

Patricia McGuire says her experience working on the trail showed her how passionate the Las Torres staff are about conservation. “This is the kind of work that requires sharing knowledge and building community,” she says. “It’s necessary to spread awareness of why sustainable trails are important in order for the work to continue happening.”

See on Instagram

“The people of Las Torres know so much about the land and its history, and they’re passionate about it too, which really invites you to immerse yourself in the knowledge,” shares Angela Hrari from New York. “A majority of the food eaten at the hotel is grown on the premise to cut down on all the excess waste needed to transport food to remote areas. Every person I met had such deep reverence for the land, ensuring that we were leaving no trace and respecting the wildlife.” She adds that the new trail “ensures not only that differently abled bodies are going to have an easier time accessing hikes, but also many people for many generations to come can enjoy this land without the fear of turning it into an at-risk destination.”

Jon Moser, from Boulder, Colorado, says it was “amazing” to see the commitment to sustainability in Las Torres’s partnerships with conversation groups. “The entire hotel is a sustainability machine, harvesting from their gardens to create their menus, eliminating their use of plastic, and even using glacial runoff to distill their own gin,” Moser says. “Because I build trails for a living, this opportunity was obviously an immediate attraction, but getting the chance to be a part of trail construction that has been happening for the past two years was truly special.”

Some might wonder: Couldn’t people just not go to Patagonia at all and save the tourism impact rather than just trying to mitigate it? Sure. But it’s in our nature to explore nature, and we’re never going to be able to stop people from traveling to see naturally beautiful places. Sustainability is about balance, which includes balancing human activity with the needs of nature. When done responsibly, visiting and enjoying Earth’s wonders can not only nurture a love for our planet, which inspires greater conservation efforts to protect it, but also help us collaborate and learn from one another to improve those efforts as well.

The author was invited to Torres Del Paine as a guest of Las Torres Reserve. Las Torres did not review this article prior to publication.

May in the Northern Hemisphere means gardening season kicks into full swing. Both expert and amateur gardeners are consulting their Plant Hardiness Zones Map (which has changed this. year, by the way) and heading out to their local plants shops to buy vegetable and flower starters, fillings spots amid perennials that are popping up and seedlings started earlier indoors.

Gardening is an enjoyable hobby for some and a dietary necessity for others, but no matter what motivates you to tend a garden, there’s no question that it’s good for you. In fact, gardening might just be the best exercise there is for overall health.

---

Anyone who’s worked in their yard knows it’s surprisingly physical. We have these visions of old people puttering around in their gardens, but that “puttering” is actually a solid workout. Pulling weeds and digging holes may not give you jacked biceps and a snatched waist, but when it comes to the kinds of recommended exercise that can help you live a longer, healthier life, it’s hard to beat gardening.

Here are some of the physical, mental and spiritual health benefits of gardening:

Gardening is good for your heart

The Centers for Disease Control consider gardening an official form of exercise, and according to the Mayo Clinic, you might burn as many calories during a busy gardening session as you do at the gym. It’s recommended that people get 150 minutes a week of cardiovascular exercise, so gardening for half an hour five days a week will tend both your plants and. your heart.

Gardening has also been shown to lower stress levels. Chronic stress is a significant risk factor for heart disease, gardening can help mitigate that risk.

Gardening works every major muscle group

According to Maryland Primary Care Physicians, “Digging, lifting bags of mulch and pushing wheelbarrows all provide strength training similar to weight lifting, which leads to healthier bones and joints.” Such activities work every major muscle group—legs, buttocks, arms, shoulders, neck, back and abdomen.

One thing gardening has going for it over other forms of exercise is that most of that muscle work is low-impact, so you get the benefit of a good workout without jarring and stress on your joints.

Gardening can help keep your brain sharp

Those of us who haven’t gardened much might assume that it’s a pretty basic activity—put plants in dirt, water them sometimes, and voila! A garden. Alas, it’s not that simple at all, but the complexity of it actually part of why it’s so good for your brain. There are thousands of plants, each with their own specifications for growing and thriving. You have to know about soil composition, you have to take humidity levels, temperatures and sunlight into consideration, and as the weather changes you have to adjust and problem-solve to get the most out of your garden. Perhaps that’s one reason why a study found that daily gardening is associated with a 36% reduced risk of dementia.

Gardening is good for overall mental health

In the digital age of constant distractions pulling our attention in a million different directions, gardening can offer a much-needed respite. As Penn State Master Gardener Kayla Oaster writes, “Connecting with the natural world, in general, helps relieve people from attention fatigue. Gardening is a great hands-on experience with nature. Working with the soil, smelling the plants and dirt, feeling the different textures, and seeing all the green foliage and flowers can help relax the mind and ground yourself. When you ground yourself, you reduce stress, anxiety, and even built-up anger.”

Psychologist Seth J. Gillihan PhD takes it several steps further, explaining how gardening can help with mental health by helping people practice acceptance of things they can’t control (weather, organic growth), moving beyond perfectionism and developing a growth mindset (mistakes will be made), staying in the present (focusing on what’s in front of you) and reducing stress.

Gardening connects you to community

While gardening is often a solo activity, the hobby of it connects you to a whole community of gardeners who are often happy to share knowledge, seeds, cuttings and more. Additionally, you can share whatever you grow—vegetables, flowers, whatever—with your neighbors and friends. Gardening offers plenty of opportunity to socialize, and having strong social ties is linked to increased resilience to anxiety and depression.

Gardening can be a meditative—some might say spiritual—practice

As you connect your hands with the Earth on the outside, you can also connect with yourself—your soul, your spirit, whatever you want to call your inner being—on the inside. Many people find gardening to be a meditative practice that helps them practice mindfulness and inner peace and connection And there are so many qualities needed for gardening that parallel qualities used in spiritual practice—patience, perseverance, surrendering control, reverence for beauty and more. Gardening means being up close and personal with nature, which can help people feel more connected to the source of life, whatever they perceive or beleive it to be. Many religion’s scriptures use plant and garden metaphors to elucidate spiritual concepts, so gardening can help us deepen our understanding of spiritual teachings as well.

If you’re looking for a comprehensive exercise that will not only provide a healthy workout for your body but also help sharpen your mind and nurture your spirit, try planting and tending a garden. Just make sure it’s large or complex enough for you to reap the full benefits.

Even though it’s 2023 and schools are much more concerned with protecting children from bullying than in the past, parents still have to be aware that kids will be kids, and having a child with a funny name is bound to cause them trouble.

A mother on Reddit is concerned that her future children will have the unfortunate last name of “Butt,” so she asked people on the namenerds forum to help her convince her husband to name their child something different.

(Note: We’re assuming that the person who wrote the post is a woman because their husband is interested in perpetuating the family name, and if it were a same-sex relationship, a husband probably wouldn’t automatically make that assumption.)

“My husband’s last name is Butt. Can someone please help me illuminate to him why this last name is less than ideal,” she asked the forum. “I totally get we can’t shield kids from everything and I understand the whole family ties thing, but c’mon. Am I being unreasonable by suggesting our future kid either take my name, a hybrid, or a new one altogether?”

---

The posters on the forum overwhelmingly supported her.

“I can see hubby being a bit of a stickler because he wants to keep the family name, but I find it a bit baffling that he doesn’t get why it would be a concern,” Babelight wrote. “If you have to club him over the head with it, indicate that for children/young persons hearing the name, they would equate it to someone’s last name being ‘Pooh,’ ‘Vaginah’ or ‘Peenis/Peniss.’”

Other posters noted that her opinion is just as valid as her husband’s when naming their child.

“You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your husband’s last name is objectively pretty awful, and of course, you don’t want your child to have it. Also, even if it wasn’t that bad, you would be still entitled to at least suggest that your child takes your last name since you are also going to be their parent,” SwordfishBrilliant 40 wrote. “Also, he needs to think about his child, let’s be honest, their life is going to be a lot easier with a ‘normal’/not bad’ last name.”

Having a last name like Butt opens a child up to being bullied, which can lead to feelings of rejection, exclusion, isolation, diminished self-esteem and long-term mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety.

“I knew a kid named Zack Butt. Teased relentlessly. At every age,” Kwam26 confirmed.

There is also the practical problem of living in a digital world where algorithms often filter out names deemed offensive. This issue is known as the “Scunthorpe problem.” Back in the late ‘90s, people from the town of Scunthorpe in the UK couldn’t sign up on AOL because a filter blocked out the name due to the offensive term that sits in the middle of it.

The husband is proud of his family heritage and, possibly, of having learned to live with a name that would make most people chuckle. But it’s also understandable that his wife has a real problem bringing a child up in this world with a name that will make them the butt of jokes throughout their lives.

One wonders why this wasn’t discussed before the couple got married.

This article originally appeared on 9.5.23

Going to the gym can be a daunting prospect for a lot of people. It shouldn’t be—the whole point of going to the gym is to exercise, which is something that should universally be applauded—but sometimes it can feel like there’s pressure to be at a certain fitness level or have a certain physique before stepping foot in the door.

For people who are heavier, gym culture can be especially intimidating. Unfortunately, not everyone remembers to practice kindness and fatphobia appears to remain a fairly tolerated prejudice. That shouldn’t stop people with big bodies from enjoying all that fitness centers have to offer, but all too often, it does.

It hasn’t stopped a woman named Steph from working out regularly at her gym, albeit with some trepidation. As she shared in a hugely viral TikTok, she’s experienced some unkind behavior at the gym that made her nervous when a man approached her recently. But her description of the encounter ultimately demonstrated how powerful a few positive words can be.

In a video made from her car just after leaving the gym, Steph explained that a “hardcore” gym-goer who is “super tough” and covered in tattoos had came up to talk to her. Her initial response was to be afraid of what he was going to say to her, based on previous experience. She shared in the video how hard it’s been to stay steady with her workouts, especially with medications she’s on making her body hold onto weight, but she’s been working hard to be consistent. She steeled herself for whatever he might say.

She didn’t expect it to be this: “I’ve seen you in here every week, almost every day. I’ve seen you in here every week—and I’m proud of you.” Nor did she expect that such simple words of encouragement could make such a huge impact.

Watch her tell the story:

@steph5468

#gymprogress #workputjourney #keepgoing #healingjourney

People had a lot to say about the interchange and Steph’s emotional response to it.

“People do not realize, how one person can change everything,” wrote one commenter.

“Girl you are CRUSHING IT,” wrote another. “That man you encountered is what real men do. Encourage. Support. Be human! It isn’t hard! ❤️”

“No one knows your story, your struggles. You’re doing the dang thing and that takes courage and strength. You. Keep. Going. I’m proud of you too!” shared another.

More and more words of encouragement flooded Steph’s comment section, and people on Upworthy’s Instagram page weighed in as well.

“I’m a fitness coach and this made me cry 😢 just having someone say they are proud of you can move mountains for so many of us who didn’t/ don’t get the praise growing up,” wrote one person.

“Who knows? He may be going through something too and saw a determined, consistent, fellow traveler,” wrote another. “You share your Truth so powerfully. You may not know how many people will see this and be encouraged by your honesty. I’m in awe that you show up for YOURSELF every day. And as for the rude and ill-mannered? Well they struggle too—just to be decent kind human beings. Some people have not been shown Empathy and therefore do not know how to use that muscle. You are beautiful, smart, articulate, wise and a woman who knows where she’s headed. Keep walking, head up knowing there are many many more who do empathize, who see you and are on your side❤️”

“It’s amazing to think about how this man’s single act of kindness, spread through you to affect us all in a positive way,” shared another. “This made all of our days, and I’m crying tears of joy while I write this. Please thank him from all of us the next time you see him, if you’re comfortable with that. And thank you for sharing! ❤️”

Indeed, thanks to both Steph and the hardcore, tattooed gym bro for being wonderful examples for us all. We never know what a small act of kindness or a few words of encouragement will do to make someone’s life significantly better, but it’s always worth trying.

This article originally appeared on 9.5.23

Some parenting milestones are more bittersweet than others. With high school graduations, there’s the pride and joy with watching your child walk down the aisle, but also the profound and multi-layered sense of loss that comes as they enter adulthood.

And with such complex and conflicting emotions raging inside, for many moms and dads it all comes out through profuse tears.

Apparently, Jennifer Garner is no exception.

---

The beloved “Alias” actress recently celebrated the graduation of one of her three children (not specified), and posted a carousel onto her Instagram featuring several teary eyed images, along with the caption “Tell me you have a graduate without telling me you have a graduate. 🎓 (bless our hearts 🥺♥️🤣).”

There’s even a clip of her on a plane asking “How are we going to make it? What are we going to do?”

Garner’s post generated lots of commiseration from fellow parents—both fans and other celebs—who had been exactly where she is now.

See on Instagram

“Oh honey … I know. 😢 ❤️ You have done a great job , mama! I will be here for support and lots of hugs,” Reese Witherspoon wrote.

“My daughter walked across the stage and stopped. Looked for me and said HI MOM! Massive tear shedding!,” someone else added.

A third said, “I feel seeen!!! My baby boy is graduating I can’t!!!! 🎓🎓🎓😭😭. I feel you mama!!! He’s our first too and no one prepares you for this! We are so proud of our boy and I know you are too of your baby girl! So many emotions.”

Others offered encouragement that the pain is only temporary.

“You know it really does get better. Seeing them adult is a really cool thing too. I can’t say I don’t miss a full house, but it’s fun to watch them navigate life in their own way,” one person wrote.

“Just think about all the fun she has ahead- you got this mama!” wrote another.

Though nothing can fully take away the inevitable pain that comes from this important chapter in a parent’s life, there are several ways to cope with it all.

Experts seem to agree that simply accepting there will be a mix of joy and sadness is an important part of the process, as well as keeping busy while pursuing other interests or rekindling the relationship with your spouse outside of shared parental roles. There’s also nothing wrong with seeking outside professional help to make the transition a bit smoother.

All in all, may this story be a reminder for parents to allow themselves to feel those feelings. Grief is just love persevering, after all.