Well-written parodies are gold, but they can be hard to come by. Everyone and their at-risk-for-coronavirus grandma thinks they’re a great parody writer, but only a chosen few can pull it off successfully.
Enter Twitter user @daniAWESOME. She wrote a near-perfect coronavirus parody of Bare Naked Ladies’ “One Week,” and posted it on Twitter. (Of note: She doesn’t have a huge Twitter following, but she IS being followed by President Barack Obama—for real—so well done, sister. ALLL the high fives.)
She generously invited whoever felt inclined to put the lyrics to music, and someone named Pepper Coyote took her up on it. Ah, the beauty of social media. Twitter can be a cesspool, but then incredible gems like this come out of it.
Here are the full lyrics so you can sing it on your own, followed by the video rendition. (A few of the verses have been changed a bit in the recorded version, but it’s great.)
It’s Been
One week since we quarantined
Said we’d all stay inside
And eat our groceries
Five days since you FaceTimed me
Saying
Be symptom free or don’t come and see me
Three days since the living room
Became my office
and work moved onto all Zoom
Yesterday you’d abandoned me
But it’ll still be two months till we get to be free
Wash your hands in the kitchen sink
Don’t wanna be the link
That gives Corona to your fellow man
I don’t have snacks but I wish
I had stocked up on tuna fish
I cleared my pantry
Well before the worst had yet began
Don’t run your errands during peak times
Use Amazon Prime
As long as postal service comes through
Good thing we still have Netflix
Barnett’s a dipshit
Love may be Blind but it is dumb too
Gonna be a flake and skip spring break
Because Miami’s an outbreak
Full of sick college kids whose conduct could be safer
Gotta stop the shows
Cause if they go
Then the Pandemic’s gonna grow
Cause they are dangerous
By order of the mayor
I cannot help it if I got Corona from my dad
Trying hard not to cough and I feel bad
I’m just trying to avoid my own funeral
Can’t even go out to eat
Or I’ll get ill
I called my senator for universal sick leave
I have a growing need to keep paying my bills
It’s been
One week since COVID 19
Threw our plans in the air and killed our parties
Five days since emergency
We flatten the curve or be Italy
Three days since we all cocooned
We realized we can’t beat this and no one’s immune
Yesterday, someone coughed on me
And now it’s eighteen months till we can all be free
Over in China, when some got stricken
They all got locked in and COVID stopped tickin’
Walking the dog with a mask on
When everyone’s gone
And if I see somebody I run
At grocery stores I’m feeling panic
At home I’m manic
At doctor’s offices I’m terrified
Like Idris Elba I’m feeling ill
Kay I don’t feel ill
That’s hypochondria all magnified
Gonna shut down all the fitness clubs
And shutter all the social hubs
And tell deBlasio stay home to work your hamstrings
Gotta make a joke but its too soon
Cases balloon between the Boomers and the sick
Until we get some vaccines
How can I stop watching news because it makes me sad
Need to know but all signs pointing to bad
We help our fellow man, and friends, that is beautiful
Drop off some food like a queen
For good will
We need the science and we need the people to believe
We need the tests before more people get hurt
It’s Been
One week since the distancing
Dropped our lives to the side for our wellbeing
Five days since the testing grew and yet
Still not as much as all the other nations do
Three days since the briefing room
He said he’s not the one to blame, and what can we do?
Yesterday, you just texted me
Cause it’ll still be two weeks till we break quarantine
It’ll still be two months till we break quarantine
It’ll still be two years till we break quarantine
Close the stadium, sports are on deep freeze
Well done @daniAWESOME and @peppercoyote. Thanks for keeping us all entertained while we hole up in our homes.
One Week of COVID 19 – Barenaked Ladies parody – Lyrics by @daniAWESOME
youtu.be