You know those random packets of ketchup that have been chilling in your fridge (or in a bowl in a cabinet somewhere, with a bunch of other random items — red pepper flakes, fake Parmesan cheese, soy sauce packets, etc.) for years? Hold onto those babies with your life, because America has slipped itself straight into a ketchup shortage.
According to CNN Business, shortages of ketchup — specifically the type found in packets — emerged across the country over this past summer, after the CDC advised against dine-in services, which put restaurants in direct competition with fast food establishments, resulting in a stronger demand (and therefore, increased price) for to-go condiments. In an article from summer 2020, CNN Business reported that according to Dan Scott, the head of operations at FoodServiceDirect.com (an online food service provider that supplies restaurants and other places that sell food) single-serve condiment orders saw a spike around mid-March of last year, growing by 300% in comparison to the previous year.
And if you’ve ever eaten out (we know you have) you’ll know that unless told otherwise, every establishment coast to coast goes absolutely HAM with ketchup packets, supplying you with more than you can ever hope to eat in a single meal.
If the ketchup shortage hits hard, Heinz better take care of Pittsburgh first. We’ve never called it catsup. We’ve collectively shunned Hunt’s like it’s made of asbestos and gasoline. We shamed Kennywood when they tried to switch.
Reward us.
— Virginia Montanez (@JanePitt) April 7, 2021
There’s a ketchup shortage here and about to get worse…. pic.twitter.com/MBHQUl3gmZ
— MrJody (@JodySargent) April 7, 2021
Luckily Heinz is attempting to step up to their game (your move Hunt’s), announcing a 25% increase in production just days ago in an attempt to produce 12 billion ketchup packets in a single year. Let that number sink in — 12 billion! Somewhere in the Heinz factory, someone is diving into a pool of all of these packets like Scrooge McDuck.
Those of us who wisely stocked up on ketchup at the start of the pandemic instead of toilet paper like all you other morons are laughing ourselves to sleep. Dreaming about ketchup.