Taco Bell does some weird shit. They’ve flattened a chicken patty and turned it into a taco shell — which absolutely no one asked for. They ditched the Mexican Pizza (disappointing Doja Cat, of all people), and they inexplicably started selling wings in a year where there was apparently a wing shortage. See what I mean? Weird. Taco Bell is the most chaotic fast food brand, Wendy’s Twitter account be damned.
But I have to admit, hearing that select Taco Bells in Milwaukee and Southern California would begin test selling Choco Tacos this week filled me with all sorts of questions. In this order: The Klondike Choco Taco? What does the Choco Taco have to do with Taco Bell? Why does it need to be tested? Why SoCal and Milwaukee? Aren’t Choco Tacos already available in the supermarket freezer aisle?
If you’re curious, the answers to these questions are as follows: Yes, nothing, it doesn’t, no idea, and apparently, no. It turns out, Choco Tacos aren’t readily available in grocery store freezer aisles right now. A quick search on Google leads to a variety of dead links, and even the official Klondike site, which says they are available, ultimately leads to a Walmart Error page.
The only Choco Tacos I can find are this 24 pack from Amazon, which costs $64. I could probably go my whole life without eating 24 Choco Tacos, and I like Choco Tacos!
So, if for some reason you have an insatiable craving for a Choco Taco, your best bet is, for some reason, the Taco Bell drive-thru (so long as you live in SoCal or Milwaukee). Since we’re lucky (is that the word?) enough to be in the test market zone, we went out and ordered one and gave it the full fast food review treatment, in an effort to see if they’re as good as we remember and worth a trip to Taco Bell this weekend.
Hey, if Taco Bell wants to give us a reason to eat a Choco Taco, we’ll take it!
Klondike Choco Taco
Price: $2.99
I have to say, even though I knew going in that this was just a Klondike Choco Taco, I expected a little more effort on Taco Bell’s part. Foolishly perhaps, I did not expect to receive a regular-old, pre-packaged Klondike bar. At least wrap it in a Taco Bell-branded cardboard taco shell holder or something. Engrave a big bell on the waffle shell, throw Taco Bell on the label, do something to make me feel like this thing has a purpose! Because ordering a Klondike Choco Taco for $2.99 at a Taco Bell feels a little stupid, and the employees probably feel the same, judging by my experience ordering one.
“Hi, could I get the Choco Taco, please?”
“The what?”
“The Klondike Choco Taco… do you have those here?”
*long pause*
“It’s a promo-“
“Is that going to be all today?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of hot sauce— oh, right. Uh… please pull up to the second window.”
I’d love to listen in on the conversation between employees after some weirdo queued up in the drive-thru during lunch hours to order a single Choco Taco. Anyway, on to presentation. We give it a failing grade. But presentation isn’t everything, all that really matters when it comes to food is how good it tastes, and if you’ve never had a Choco Taco before, I can tell you, they’re pretty fucking good.
True, it’s far from the best ice cream you’ll ever have. There are no bells and whistles, and no attention to detail or craft. This is straight-up ice cream truck quality snackage, so get your expectations in order. But basic ice cream truck snackage isn’t a bad thing.
Here is what makes the Choco Taco good: Unlike an ice cream sandwich, the Choco Taco has a crunchy waffle cone shell, which gives it a superior mouthfeel. It’s crispy on the outside, but still chewy on the inside, and the cone is lined with chocolate, so it’s sugary-sweet with every bite. The vanilla ice cream — if you want to call it that — is a bit basic. It’s watery and muted, but it comes sandwiched inside an undeniably enjoyable snack that combines the best features of the ice cream sandwich, the Nestlé Drumstick, and a chocolate-dipped soft-serve ice cream. It’s creamy, chocolatey, refreshing, and very satisfying. Especially if you’re stoned. …Uh, or so I imagine.
The Bottom Line:
The Choco Taco is good. Having said that, you shouldn’t bother ordering this. I mean, do what you want, but if you feel like trekking to a specific Taco Bell just to remind yourself of what a Choco Taco tastes like maybe… don’t do that? If you’re in LA, go eat actual tacos, or do something fun, dumb, and touristy. If you’re in Milwaukee, visit one of these great bars instead. Go touch grass. Do anything, but don’t eat a Taco Bell Choco Taco.
The test they’re conducting isn’t whether or not Choco Tacos should be sold at Taco Bell nationwide. They shouldn’t, Taco Bell fans deserve a better dessert. Rather, the test is to see just how much bullshit we’ll take before Taco Bell has to cave in and bring back the Mexican Pizza.
Don’t settle for less, people.
If you’re in LA or Milwaukee and still want a Choco Taco, the following is a list of all the participating locations. If you’re not in LA or Milwaukee, you’re not missing anything!
Southern California:
- 204 N. Gaffey, San Pedro, CA
- 1031 S. Gaffey Street, San Pedro, CA
- 5125 Pacific Coast Hwy, Torrance, CA
- 22235 S Main St, Carson, CA
- 921 West Sepulveda Blvd, Torrance, CA
- 2054 Lomita Blvd, Lomita, CA
- 640 Pacific Coast Hwy, Seal Beach, CA
- 1408 W. Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
- 228 E. Seventh St., Long Beach, CA
- 9919 S. Avalon Blvd., Los Angeles, CA
Milwaukee:
- 2056 Milwaukee Ave., Burlington, WI
- 7020 Green Bay Road, Kenosha, WI
- 4002 52nd Street, Kenosha, WI
- 8040 Sheridan Road, Kenosha, WI
- 12120 75th Street, Kenosha, WI
- 230 West Layton Ave., Milwaukee, WI
- 3334 S. 27th Street, Milwaukee, WI
- 920 Greenwald Court, Mukwonago, WI
- 8261 S. Howell Avenue, Oak Creek, WI
- 1750 Summit Ave, Oconomowoc, WI