Millions of people around the world were shocked when it was announced last week that the Supreme Court was overturning Roe v. Wade. While we all knew it was likely coming after a draft of the decision was leaked back in May, Trevor Noah—who declared the decision “a hostile takeover of America’s reproductive rights” when the impending reversal was first leaked—doesn’t think that should make it any less shocking. “In some ways, it almost made it worse,” he said on Monday night. “We got to dread the day, and now that day is here.”
Describing the decision as “kind of surreal,” Noah noted that after 50 years of women having a “constitutional right” to choose to have an abortion, that decision—a healthcare decision—has now been ripped out of their hands… despite the fact that “the Constitution hasn’t changed,” as Noah pointed out. “The only thing that changed is that Donald Trump, of all people, managed to appoint three pro-life justices to the Supreme Court. Judges who, by the way, went on and on in their confirmation hearings about how much they ‘respect the important precedent of Roe vs. Wade.’ And we all knew they were full of sh*t, too.” But Noah saved the bulk of his ire for longtime Justice Clarence Thomas, who has sat on the Supreme Court for more than 30 years now… and whose wife just happens to be a batshit conspiracy theorist who attempted to overthrow democracy as we know it.
If the overturning wasn’t bad enough, Justice QAnon himself, Clarence Thomas, wrote that he wants the court to reconsider the right to gay marriage, gay sex, and contraception. Yeah, imagine that. The dude is so extreme he’s talking about banning rights I didn’t even realize could be banned. Just going to be reading the newspaper like, ‘Justice Thomas wants to ban the right to engage in nipple play? What?!’ Like at some point you’re not even a judge anymore; you’re just a cock block in a fancy robe. That’s all you are. You’re ganging up on everybody else.
Noah, of course, couldn’t help but notice that “the one ruling Clarence Thomas doesn’t want to overturn in all the others that he mentioned is the right to interracial marriage. Which is a coincidence, because he happens to be in an interracial marriage. Yeah, I guess if something affects Clarence Thomas personally he’s ok with it. It makes me think if we could just somehow get him impregnated by a gay man, all of our problems would be solved.”
You can watch the full clip above.