(Spoilers from The Boys will obviously be found below.)
With The Boys‘ most recent season finale (and that “Herogasm” money shot) in the can and a bit of a wait for the college-aged spinoff, the show’s flagship series is still keeping the Compound V burning bright with a series of imaginative-and-profane featurettes. The latest happens to be an astrological analysis, as recounted by Nate Mitchell who portrays Black Noir (RIP) and could, in fact, be back again in Season 4 as a “different” character (who might be a new Black Noir), according to showrunner Eric Kripke.
For now, though, Mitchell is here to remind me of one of my favorite annual running jokes on Twitter. That would be the late-January chorus of “[p]lease use a condom on Valentine’s Day. There are already too many scorpios.” You can’t help but giggle a little bit at that remark, yes? There are a few Scorpios who are near and dear to my heart IRL, but boy, they’re messy people: Emotional and lugubrious and reactionary and the most watery of all water signs (and I can say that as a Pisces).
Wouldn’t you know it (at least, according to Mitchell’s predictions, which I am accepting as fact because this is all fiction) test-tube kid Homelander is a total Scorpio with a side of twin-faced Gemini. It’s canon now, baby!
Never thought we’d be cuttin’ onions over an astrology video, but @itsnatemitchell assigning Noir his sign will do that to ya. pic.twitter.com/bQJ2PXQVKp
— THE BOYS (@TheBoysTV) July 26, 2022
As is “Homelander farting.” Hey, they said it, not me.
In addition to the hit-you-over-the-head Homelander revelation, Mitchell pins Annie January as a Capricorn (her name even tells us as much) and The Deep as a showy Leo with Cancer undercurrents, and Queen Maeve gets a Pisces moon, which tells us how she really feels inside (nearly as emotional as a Scorpio, but she can keep her sh*t together a little bit more) with her Aries self blazing on the outside. I’m feeling that from her. Next, Mitchell explores all of Black Noir’s personality facets while walking through possible signs, and man, I’m not crying (you are definitely crying).
The Boys is currently streaming three full seasons on Amazon with one season of the animated The Boys: Diabolical to fill in some blanks.