Don Jr’s Latest Deranged/Paranoid Rant Features Him Speaking In A Manner That’s So Bizarre And Cartoonish It’s Hard To Believe It’s Even Real

Donald Trump Jr. is shouting about Hunter Biden’s laptop again. Normally, that wouldn’t be newsworthy. Every few days (hours?), Don Jr. remembers those buzzy keywords can generate a few rage retweets so he turns his camera on and goes nuts for a couple of minutes for the clicks. But this latest rant is generating attention for an entirely different reason.

Instead of motivating more MAGA conspiracy theorists to spew nonsense about a recovering addict, Don Jr.’s most recent tirade has everyone asking the same question: What the hell is going on with this guy’s voice? To understand the cause for confusion, you’ve got to hear the evidence first. Exhibit A:

Pay attention to Donny’s words — not how he clumsily strings them together in the hopes of forming a coherent thought, but how they form behind his tongue and expel out of his bearded doll lips. There’s no rhyme or reason to the pronunciation, the dialect he switches between. One second, he sounds like a prepubescent boy, his voice cracking with excitement over the fact that no one is talking about Hunter Biden except for him. The next, he’s a dried-up car salesman from New Jersey trying to trick us into buying a sweet ’98 Honda Accord with a rolled-back odometer. By the end of his spiel, Don Jr.’s delivery has morphed into a so-pathetic-it’s-almost-sad imitation of his dad’s gratingly recognizable blubberings. And, naturally, Twitter has taken notice.