Historically, guys with a passion for comic books, Star Wars, or anything else that might have a fandom, haven’t exactly been the poster boys for the ideal love interest. But nowadays, it looks like nerds really do get revenge.
Because apparently, everything that makes a great nerd, also happened to make a great husband. At least, according to thousands of women on social media.
Married podcaster Isabel Brown recently went viral on TikTok for attesting that “nerds make the best husbands,” and that society just gives them a bad rep.
Brown made her appeal as part of a stitch with another woman asking how to find a man that are thoughtful, attentive, good fathers, and know how to “spoil” their wives.
Brown’s response? “They’re nerds.”
“It honestly blows my mind how we have this entire trope in American literature and movies and TV shows about the nerdy girl who gets the glow up when she grows up,” ranted Brown of the common theme features in famed rom-com classics like “She’s All That” and “Never Been Kissed, but we don’t say that for men!” Brown says in her video.
In her opinion, we should be taking those nerdy traits as “green flags.”
“Hear me loud and clear, if he owns a lightsaber — green flag,” says Brown. “If he has purchased a wand from the wizarding world of Harry Potter — greenest possible flag. If he has an unhealthy obsession with Ashoka Tano, you better run to the altar.”
Brown even allots “bonus points” to a guy obsessed with monopoly.
@theisabelbrown Nerds make the best husbands. It’s a fact.
But why does she think these traits translate into being good husbands? Because from her perspective, it means these men will appreciate their partner’s inner drives more, and understand heartfelt passions.
“Those little underestimated nerd boys grow up to be men who see what’s on here,” she says, while placing a hand on her heart.
Brown clearly wasn’t alone in her opinion. Several married women who had nerdy husbands of their own chimed in to agree.
“Mine has a LOTR sword and I knew he was the one after that,” wrote fellow TikTok creator Elyse Myers.
Another woman commented “I married the anime loving, nerdy gamer boy. Wouldn’t change it for the world.”
One even created her own stitch video showing snapshots of her husband as a kid (read: nerdy kid) and adult while singing his praises.
“She’s right. It’s the nerds…[My husband] is amazing. He’s sweet, kind, loving and an amazing father. It’s the nerds,” she insisted.
According to a male relationship influencer who goes by @urdivorcesurvivalguide, it’s being chronic outsiders that make nerdy men good partners.
@urdivorcesurvivalguide #stitch with @Isabel Brown ♬ original sound – UrDivorceSurvivalGuide
“Watching those beautiful girls [they’ve] always been attracted to” receive less-than-stellar treatment from other guys that are typically seen as more attractive provides a curriculum for “what not to do [in relationships],” he says.
According to some, however, this isn’t a foolproof dating plan.
As self-described nerd Justin explains, if a woman simply dates a nerdy man in hopes that it will make him a more loyal and dedicated partner, but doesn’t have any nerdy qualities herself and isn’t “willing to become part of that culture in some way,” then they won’t actually be able to build anything meaningful.
@ramblinglifter #stitch with @Isabel Brown ♬ original sound – Justin
While it’s true that shared interests can create deep bonds, many experts agree that it isn’t vital to having a fulfilling relationship. In fact, having a partner with opposite interests can help us grow into more well rounded individuals. What really matters in the long run is having similar values and ethics.
Still, to Justin’s point, it probably isn’t best to date someone simply for what they can do for you. You need to actually appreciate who they are.
All this to say—aside from general personal improvement, it probably isn’t necessary for you to change key aspects of who you are in order to become more desirable by potential partners. What really matters is being authentic and actually being ready to be a partner.