Last Week Tonight made its 2024 debut Sunday night, and the episode ended with host John Oliver trying to fix one of the biggest problems in America: Clarence Thomas remaining in the Supreme Court. The Chief Justice, arguably the most conservative on the bench, came under particular fire last year over his damning relationships with far right figures, including his own MAGA wife. Still, he’s refused to recuse himself from certain cases. But Oliver offered him a sweet deal to leave for good.
John Oliver offered Justice Clarence Thomas $1 Million a year and a $2.4 million motor-coach to stepdown from the Supreme Court. I mean it sounds like a mockery, but no more than Thomas already mocks judicial decorum, impartiality & legitimacy.@LastWeekTonight @iamjohnoliver pic.twitter.com/kokDtQ7GYr
— Doug Winfield
(@d2k) February 19, 2024
“Clarence Thomas is arguably the most consequential justice on the court right now, and he’s never really seemed to like the job. He’s said it’s not worth doing ‘for the grief.’ So what if he could keep the luxury perks that he clearly enjoys without having to endure all of that grief?” Oliver told the crowd. “We have a special offer for you tonight. We are prepared to offer you $1 million a year for the rest of your life if you simply agree to leave the Supreme Court immediately and never come back.”
Oliver then showed off a contract he had already had drawn up. “This is not a joke,” he said. “This is real. A million dollars a year until you or I die.”
Is any of this legal? Apparently, although Oliver acknowledged “it really feels like it shouldn’t be.” He added, “But as they keep pointing out, there are no rules in place to stop me from doing this. And let me be clear: HBO is not putting up the money for this. I am personally on the hook.”
Oliver noted, “I could be doing stand-up tours for your retirement for years.”
That’s not all Oliver was offering Thomas. Knowing about his yen for pricey Winnebagos he can’t afford on his Supreme Court salary, he was willing to throw in a major upgrade: a $2.4 million motorcoach with a king size bed, one-and-a-half baths, a fireplace, four TVs, a “residential-length fridge,” plus a washer and dryer.
“And if you’re thinking, what will my friends say if I take this offer? Will they judge me as they sit in the boardrooms and megayachts and Hitler shrines? Will they still treat me to luxury vacations and sing songs about me off of their phones?” said Oliver. “Well, that’s the beauty of friendships, Clarence. If they’re real friends, they’ll love you no matter what your job is.”
Oliver told Thomas he has 30 days to take the deal.
So will Thomas accept? Or will he continue to rule on cases in which he’s ethically entangled? Only time will tell.