Summer is just around the corner, that means it’s time to break out those razors and put on some shorts. That means retailers are starting to advertise their their summer collections to prime people for the newest trends. But there are some trends that may need to be retired before they catch on if you take the reviews of women online.
Free People, a specialty lifestyle brand for bohemian styled fashion, have released a new style of shorts. The internet seems to be slightly confused on if the material they received from the retail brand is supposed to be shorts or something else entirely. They’re supposedly shorts, but they’re “micro shorts,” which are similar to shorts you’d see in the wild.
They have two leg holes, a hole for your body and less material than pants. Checks off all the requirements for a pair of shorts…except, they appear to be about the length of underwear. That’s not an exaggeration and to prove that point a couple of women bought some to try on so you don’t have to. The videos are not only honest but hilarious.
In one video Nicole Walters, a New York Times best selling author and mom to three girls decided to order the shorts to see how they looked on someone with, “thigh meat.” She wears a size 12 and often jokes about being a curvier on the bottom. When she pulled the shorts out, it looked as if she was going to have to perform a magic trick to get them on. They looked to be the size a small child would wear, but they seemed to have gone on easily even though they looked extremely uncomfortable. She looked uncomfortable. The viewers likely looked uncomfortable.
“Oh wow. They’re in there and by in there I mean everywhere. There’s a lot of thigh meat happening right now in the, this region,” Walters says as she gestures at her upper thighs. “There’s some thigh meat, um…uh…I feel like they’re definitely in some places that I didn’t know I had.”
Walter’s review of the shorts has people in stitches as she jokes about her Christianity falling out of the shorts.
“It’s the Barbie walk for me lol!!! Thank you for your service,” one person says.
“The way you warn us that you’re going to turn around almost made me scream with laughter,” someone writes.
“I’m just going to go ahead and dial 911 for help bc looks like you may need the jaws of life to come out them shorts…lol!! Your commentary had me dying laughing..lol,” another commenter jokes.
In another Free People “micro shorts” try on video, Nicole Story Dent braved the itty bitty shorts to show her audience the summer trend they can look forward to seeing. The first pair of shorts has multiple flaps that appear to be large pockets which inspires Dent to pretend to fly in them before the discomfort sinks in.
“It’s kinda giving waitress…if they ever want to make a Waffle House-Hooters hybrid, we have their uniform, she says. “We have been asking for more pockets so they delivered. Speaking of delivered, you could deliver a baby without having to take these shorts off.”
Dent guesses that the shorts would be more like “jundies” or “janties” than jorts, the shorthand term for jean shorts. Commenters couldn’t stop laughing at her description of the shorts while others provided her with words of wisdom.
“Do NOT drop it low in these jundies, that kind of contact with the club floor is NOT hygienic,” someone writes.
“‘There is nothing vegan about these. There is absolutely a cat being harmed!’ I’m cackling! You really should win something from Free People for this! @freepeople we found your next model,” another person jokes.
“This is the kind of content the internet was made for, it’s just so good. However my thighs started getting chafed just watching this,” someone laughs.
Surely these shorts were made for someone and they will look fabulous on whoever that person may be. But right now, there are a lot of confused, thoroughly tickled ladies on the internet who know they are not the target audience. If you’re brave enough to give these micro shorts a try, go ahead and stock up on some baby powder for all the chaffing.